Horse 850 - It's a UTE!

http://www.pickuptruck.com/html/autoshows/nyas2008/gm/pontiac/g8stcoming.html

I always like to compare badge engineering of motor cars and Holden is no exception. Thanks to GM Americas handling of the GTO which effectively killed off our Monaro, I'm wondering if Detroit is accidentally going kill off our Ute as well.



Pontiac already intend to start selling the Commodore under the highly emotive nameplate G8 which if anything conjures up all the excitement of a heads of government meeting. Maybe GM didn't wan't to sully the memories of people not yet born by not reviving an old name like "El Camino", "Caballero" or something equally as weird as "El Caballo Blanco", instead all America gets are two crappy suffix letters "ST" for Sport Truck.

What the heck is a "Sport Truck"? It's not a truck, it's not a "Pickup Truck", and it's certainly not a "Coupe Utility" like someone at Americocentric Wikipedia would have you believe. No way, if you want to be all high and mighty, it might be a Utility but if you're a True Blue Dinky-Di chuck lamb on the barbie, it's a Ute mate. If your long-haired, dole bludging, soap-avoiding, pot-smoking hippie vegetarians might disagree with me, they can get stuffed. They know the way to the airport, and if they don’t, I’ll show them - they can go for a ride in the back of the ute with the dogs.

It's likely that it will most likelty get the stonkin' 6L V8 under the bonnet and charge out for US$31,000 or if you wish A$34,900 which is about 5 grand cheaper than what we can get them, yet from what I've read on forums, they're still having a bleat about the price. Look, it's built in Oz by blokes who know what they're doing; we're just sending back you're engines wrapped in a better car. You get what you pay for, quality.
The current 5.3L V8 Grand Prix sells for $33,000 and the V8 G8 is going to undercut that by 3 grand. It must be said that the ST also undercuts this as well and not only this, it's a vehicle which hasn't even existed in concept in America for over 20 years, so there's nothing to compare it to.

The Ute, as quinesentially Strayan as a hot pie while watching Collingwood and Melbourne at the G and then running over a stray roo on the way home. Somehing about Football, Meat Pies, Kangaroos and Holden Cars? Maybe; maybe not in the land of Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Chevrolet... except it's a Pontiac (isn't that a potato?)

Keep your hands off our Utes Jardine!


One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Sunny"
Just like your disposition eh?

Horse 849 - ABC1

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/01/30/2149528.htm?section=australia

Rumours abound this morning that Aunty intends to drop her "squiggle" logo after 50 years. ABC TV is to be renamed ABC 1 whilst ABC 2 remains, er... ABC 2. ABC 2 we've known about for a fair while now, meanwhile the rebranded ABC 1 will have to do better if this is its logo. I think it looks downright gumby.



Because of Digital TV and the opportunity for extra data-casting, the big four networks have each been allocated three channels with the ABC getting four. I can however see a problem in this though - in the UK, the BBC's main rivals are ITV, Channel 4 and Five. The Beeb brands itself as BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Three and BBC Four. ITV is ITV 1, ITV 2, ITV 3 and ITV 4. Channel 4 has Channel 4, E4, Film 4 and More 4. Five lines up as Five, Five Life and Five US. What happens in Oz?

The ABC is set up as ABC 1, ABC 2 and ABC 3 but Channel 7 can't very well brand itself as 7 1 can it? 7.1 perhaps? Maybe one insipred idea would be to run backwards through their own archives and call on of their channels 17. Or possibly this is merely a shameless excuse to put a picture of Dick Johnson's 1983 Falcon up. Either way, the logo still looks cool.




Personally I think that ABC 1 should take a leaf from BBC One and rebrand itself ABC One. That way, Aunty could retain it's "squiggle" logo and as the national broadcaster, retain a touch of class. Right click the following to see what I mean.

http://www.geocities.com/rollo75/ABCone.jpg

And now:


One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Dark"
Yes Mr Mandela, it's a very dark day indeed.

Horse 848 - Let's Train Fat People

I steal the following from the Sydney Morning Herald:

A CONTROVERSIAL plan to build a second bridge across Iron Cove looks set to join the Iemma Government's long list of troubled transport initiatives as construction costs blow out by $100 million - all for a 50-second saving on the time motorists wait in traffic.
In a mid-2006 report on the proposed upgrade of Victoria Road - one of the most congested routes into the city - the Roads and Traffic Authority estimated it could spend $44.8 million building the second four-lane crossing, with a city-bound bus lane from the western end of Iron Cove and better access for pedestrians and cyclists.

The report, just released under freedom of information laws to residents campaigning against a second bridge, said the extra lanes would improve bus times. It would also cut the time taken by traffic heading to the city in the morning peak by an average of more than 50 seconds per vehicle.
Since then the Government has expanded the project to include wider improvements to Victoria Road from Drummoyne to Rozelle, new traffic arrangements in those suburbs, bus bays and an outbound bus lane.

That, and higher construction costs and underwater surveys, have lifted the bill to $150 million, says the RTA. It says the 2006 report was a concept only and never endorsed by its executive. However, the Victoria Road Community Committee said that after spending $150 million, the Government would have done nothing to improve overall traffic flow on Victoria Road by 2011.


If you then flick your eyes less than 3 inches to the right you find the following with the headline We're fat because we have to drive:


AS Morris Iemma released a shame file yesterday exposing the fattest areas in the state, some of his targets blamed his Government.

Exercise more, the Premier urged families, as he revealed the extent of the worsening obesity crisis in NSW, but residents of the fattest urban area in the state pointed to a chronic shortage of public transport as a reason behind their sedentary lifestyles.

Back in June 2001 the then Carr Government, published a report called the Christie Report which tabulated and detailed suggestions and costings for an integrated rail network to be built by 2010. That can be found here: http://www.aptnsw.org.au/christie/

To date, we've had a half-arsed attempt to build half of one of the proposed railway lines and no attempts to build the other 5 suggested in the report. Since then we've had the M7, The M5 East, the Cross-City tunnel and the Gore Hill freeway open; all with tolls on and none of which have actually solved any traffic problems but shifted them from richer to poorer suburbs.

Can anyone else see a problem? These are the facts:

1. We have a government that supposedly wants to encourage public transport use.
2. That same government has encouraged less public transport use by building four private motorways.
3. We have a public who wants to use public transport.
4. The results are obesity.

Let's fill you in on something from another government institution - CityRail. In one advert they proclaimed that "every 8-car train helps to keep up to 2000 cars off the road". If those 2000 cars (or 10000 cars and hour) weren't on the road in the first place, then the road bridge would not have had to be planned in the first place. This was subject to a plan that was made 7 years ago!

Dear Mr Iemma, this is your spineless fault. If you'd done what your own damn planing ministers had suggested then there wouldn't be a problem now. Not only that but we'd have a decent train service by now but no... someone needs a decent smack upside the head. Build the damn railway line!

For shame! BOO!!!

And now:



One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Hot"
It's a pity you only have one word Mr Mandela. I'd add "very" to that.

Horse 847 - Caring About Australia Day is UnAustralian

The Mosman Daily which is famous for its constant ragging of Mosman Council, and its latest rip is to label the council as Un-Australian for not organising any special events for Australia Day. I would argue however that taking the public holiday without caring what it's for is very Australian indeed. It's the most important reason why we still haven't become a republic - we'd lose the Queen's Birthday weekend.

The following things are decidedly UnAustralian:

1. Knowing the words to the second verse of the national anthem
2. Promite
3. Drinking wine at a BBQ
4. Having receipts for the first $300 of your tax deductions
5. SUVs
6. Being a call centre operator
7. Having two footy teams in the same code
8. Shrimp (they're Prawns!)
9. Not understand the intracasies and finer point of the LBW law
10. Putting the score the "correct" way round in cricket
11. Not going in the office Melbourne Cup sweep
12. Actually doing any work at all on Melbourne Cup day
13. Putting z's in words like colourise
14. Calling them "zee"
15. Not putting a 'k' on the end of everythink
16. Bashing someone with a baseball bat (you should use a cricket bat)
17. Not knowing "The Don's" average
18. Having no dogs in your ute
19. Tofu, Rocket, Alfalfa and Wheatgrass
20. People who label others as UnAustralian based on spurious assertions

This Australia Day is already very Australian, the Australian Open is on telly as is the Test Match with India (by the way, happy Republic Day India), so let's celebrate the day by doing the most Australian thing that we can think of... taking the public holiday without caring what it's for!
And now:


One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Blowy"
Hmm, me thinks I should get a coat.

Horse 846 - In Love With Chu

In November of 2005 the Pussycat Dolls in their badly misspelled album and series of singles proclaimed:
Nobody gonna love me better, I'm gon' stick wit Chu forever.
Nobody gonna take me higher, I'm gon' stick wit Chu..
You know how to appreciate me, I'm gon' stick wit Chu my baby!
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I'mma stick wit Chu...

In December 2006, Fergie (also of the Black Eyed Peas) told the world:
You got me slippin', tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love wit Chu.

Apparantly the Queens of the Stone Age have some sort of building project:
I wanna make it,
I wanna make it wit Chu,
Anytime, anywhere,
I wanna make it,
I wanna make it wit Chu,

Someone who has the mental capacity of a 3 year old and refers to themselves simply as Da Brat, infected the airwaves this morning with the following gem of wisdom:
And it's the brat tat tat y'all
And its another album
Uh huh and its so phat phat phat y'all
Ooooh Im in love, Im in love, Im in love, Im in love wit Chu.

Popular music over the past 2 years has taken a decidedly strange turn. It has often been said that Eastern and Western Cultures collide in rather magical ways, though I tend to wonder why the music industry has a sudden interest in a 10th Century Southern Chinese Kingdom.

It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense really.

And now:


One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Awful"
Oh come now Mr Mandela, cloudy weather isn't that bad is it?

Horse 845 - Big Brother Corporation - We are the BBC

The World Service's classic signature tune Lillibullero is broadcast just before the top of many hours, followed by the Greenwich Time Signal (five short and one long pips) and the hourly news. Modern trailers featuring a variety of international broadcasting centres sometimes replace Lillibullero entirely on themed weeks. Until fairly recently, the hourly sequence was preceded by the announcement "This is London" — it is now followed by a more promotional "Wherever you are, you are with the BBC" or "With world news every half hour, this is the BBC".

In recent months, Lillibullero has been shortened by extra trailers. It has been suggested (by World Service staff) that the reduction in the use of Lillibullero is firstly because of its background as a Protestant marching song in Northern Ireland and secondly as, in modern branding terms, it is somewhat out of step with a modern, global news organisation.

I will freely admit though that the observation that the BBC's television music has gone rather too far the other way though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW23wpE4AOw&feature=related

Comedian Bill Bailey makes a rather humorous rant about the theme tune to BBC News. This is heard all over the world both on domestic TV, BBC News 24 as well as on BBC World; sneakily they've also snuck the pips into their theme song one way or another. I'm not sure if the BBC is as dastardly as Bill Bailey would have you believe, but they produce 120 hours of English Language services every day across all seven continents. No other news service is that big or banned with such ferocity from various countries. It is not allowed to be viewed or listened to in Iran, Burma or Zimbabwe, all of which have denounced the BBC as a terrorist organisation. Almost literally "Wherever you are, you are with the BBC" whether you want to be or not.

And now:


One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela

"Yeah"

Hmm, I suppose that the weather today is a bit "Yeah".

Horse 844 - I Can Has A Cheeseburger

Wat I thunk Id do wuz start 2oo8 wit a lolcat cuz they iz a gud wai to start 2oo8. Kthxbai.


moar funny pictures

iYear - 2007

In 2007 the number of songs increased to 5306 or just over 14 days of continual noise and confusion without ever repeating anything.

1. (20+) BBC News 24 Theme - BBC - 35 plays
2. (NE) My England - Lady Sovereign - 32 plays
3. (6) Part of the Queue - Oasis - 25 plays
4. (NE) Love Me Or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign - 20 plays
5. (8 - 3) Lyla - Oasis - 20 plays
6. (NE) Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne - 19 plays
7. (NE) Six Days The Remix - DJ Shadow & Mos Def - 18 plays
8. (20) Let There Be Love - Oasis - 18 plays
9. (13) Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne - 17 plays
10.(3) Love Like a Bomb - Oasis - 17 plays
11.(4) Ramen 3 Bun Cooking - Ai Otsuka - 16 plays
12.(12 - 6) The Hindu Times - Oasis - 16 plays
13.(NE) Everything Back But You - Avril Lavigne - 15 plays
14.(20+) Take Me To Another Town - Emma Bunton - 15 plays
15.(20+) The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand - 15 Plays
16.(20+) Not Big - Lily Allen - 15 plays
17.(20+) Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis - 15 plays
18.(20+) Little By Little - Oasis - 15 plays
19.(20+) We Beat Jamaica 6-0 - BBC Radio 1 - 15 plays
20.(5) LDN - Lily Allen - 14 Plays

As with previous years 16 of the top 20 were from the UK, but only one is less than a minute long. There are 7 re-entries into the top 20. Of the top 100, 79 are from the UK. I don't how indicative this is of my music tastes, but fewer songs were played this year... most probably because I now have The Goon Show on the iPod. Where there are two numbers in brackets indicates that they have appeared for the third consecutive year.

White Ninja Comics... this was special

Horse 843 - Room at an Inn

http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2007/dec/11/travelnews.christmasnewyear

No room at the inn? Not this year. I don't know if you saw this, but Travelodge in the UK are offering a free stay to anyone genuinely called Mary and Joseph. To evoke the "true spirit of Christmas", Travelodge is opening its doors and offering couples called Mary and Joseph a free night’s stay at any one of its 322 UK hotels.The ‘gift’ of a free night’s stay is to make up for the hotel industry not having any rooms left on Christmas Eve over 2000 years ago when the original Mary and Joseph had to settle for the night in a stable.

It hardly conjures up images of a traditional Christmas Carol does it?

Good King Wencelas last looked out
On the Feast of Stephen.
He could see a roundabout...
er...

Actually it does make some sense when you think about it. The real reason why Joseph and Mary had to return to Bethlehem was for a census. Given what we know about the UK Government of late the parallel is because that their records had actually been lost... and this is where the bit about the donkey comes in right?

Three "Wise Men" from the east? That's it? No records of their names or anything? Not even an accurate idea of how many they were? For all we know they were probably asylum seekers or something.

And now:

One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela"Snow"
It's a bit strange that Mr Mandela is dreaming of a white Christmas just like the ones he used to know.

Horse 842 - Best of Nine?

Central Coast 4 - Sydney 5

The trip up the F3 to Gosford yielded one of the most emotional roller-coaster of footballs matches I have ever witnessed. First there were feelings of frustration as I struggled to find a car park spot and a spare speck of ground to stand on and then the match... well...

For one thing, Sydney FC won 5-4. Nine goals. Most ever scored in an A-League game. Heck, FC's four matches in November created just three goals total. Last night players scored on rebounds, headers, penalty kicks, corner kicks, redirects, breakaways, turnarounds, just about everything short of telekinesis.

Sydney began the match missing four critical players, including their starting goalkeeper. Midway through the first half, when FC already trailed 2-0, you could have easily described the stricken club as 1) undermanned; 2) passive; 3) hoping to survive the gifts of their back-up goalie and 4) pretty much out of hope.

But by 7:30 last night, almost all of those descriptors had been proven wrong. When Mariners keeper Danny Vukovic touched the ball while out of the goal area, he drew a red card, exited the game and forced the withdrawal of a teammate. After that moment, the landscape shifted.

Momentum swung. Left became right, up became down, and a Sydney team performing its best roadkill impression sprung to life.

And, when they drew level at 2-2 just after halftime, you could have described Sydney as 1) holding a man-advantage; 2) aggressive; 3) hoping to exploit a back-up goalie and 4) very much alive.

How 'bout the game's ending? I don't even know how to describe it. In the fifth minute of extra time, two more than fans were told to expect, a last-ditch FC scrum almost squeaked the ball into the net. A few players thought that happened, and jumped around in celebration. The block of FC fans in one stadium corner thought the same. Instead, the ref pulled out a red card directed at Central Coast's Adam Kwasnik. A penalty kick. Sydney's Ufuk Talay took three quick strides and buried the ball. Seven-eighths of the stadium fell silent. They listened to the scream of a vocal blue minority.

For the A-League, the final highlight moment only iced the cake. This game provided the perfect soccer advertisement at the perfect time. Here, you had the biggest crowd ever at Bluetongue. You had all eyes on this match, because it was the only one of the weekend. You had two teams, both in contention, who train one hour away from one another.

For once, the A-League's motto, 90 minutes, 90 emotions didn't qualify as hyperbole. This match had comebacks, counter-comebacks and counter-counter comebacks. It had five yellow cards and two red cards. One player left the field on a stretcher. The ref left the field showered with boos. FC left having squeaked into a top-four spot.

The club's emotions, from start to finish, swung from hopelessness to bliss. We don't have time to list the other 88.

And now:
One Word Weather With Nelson Mandela"Sunshine"
And a Merry Christmas to you too Mr Mandela

Horse 841 - Brought to you by the letter "R"

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Yes, but only if you're 18. The early episodes of the legendary children's TV show have been released on DVD, but uh... children will not be allowed to watch.

Volumes 1 and 2 of the programme, which was first aired in 1969, carry this warning:
"Sesame Street: Old School is adults-only. These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's pre-school child."

Unsuitable for children; why is this? Because of the Cookie Monster. Not because he's a monster and might scare children but because he binge eats cookies* Now I know that DVD warnings tend to be a bit weird but it is crazy talk.

Harry Potter and the Mysterious Golden Pointless Sequel or whatever the heck it's called, I don't care, has the following warning on the back: Warning: Contains Mild Peril Seriously, what in blue blazes is Mild Peril? Walking down George St puts you in "mild peril"; letting Steve Dearth eat chicken wings puts him and everyone within a four mile radius in "mild peril".

I digress though. If you do happen to be a parent them you might want to let your children watch Sesame St because it happens to be educational except when they spell color or defense. But don't (and this is just a thought) don't feed your children a skip load of biscuits. And if you must have a sticker, then make sure it's a piece of gaffer tape and stick it over the gob of some choc-chip chasing chubby child (note the use of the "ch" sound)

The character who has posed the most problems, however, is Oscar the Grouch. His crime? He is too miserable for today's toddlers. You have to wonder, what's next? Will Jamie have to hand back his Magic Torch because it's too bright? Will DangerMouse be forced to change his moniker because it is too, well, dangerous? MildPerilMouse just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Still these same parents will probably rush out and buy a copy of Alien vs Predator for their children anyway, so I suppose that it's all academic anyway.

This article was brought to you by the number 4 and the letter P.

And now:



Tony Blair's Imaginary Lunch"Cookies"
Well he would be if he was allowed.

*The Cookie Monster is a Cookie Monster. His perfect diet might solely consist of cookies; hence the name Cookie Monster. Koalas for instance only eat certain species of eucalypts and Lions and Tigers are all-meat eaters. Discriminating against Cookivorous beings is intolerant and may very well be a denial of choice over one's own diet if they happen to be a Cookivorous creature.

Horse 840 - Toll HRT

Do not be surprised if next year, the Holden Racing Team sprouts little Toll logos.

When Garth Tander takes his number 1 plate from the HSVDT to the HRT, it is more than likely that the Toll sponsorship deal will follow him. Mobil's association with the HRT which has lasted since Holden's favourite son, the late Peter Brock, was admitted back into the fold for the 1994 season. It appears that Mobil has been rumbling that this association will not be renewed for the 2008 season.

This of course leaves Holden with the distinct problem that its flagship team would be left without a headline sponsor; thus because Toll still has some time to run, it would follow to the HRT with Tander.

The question is then what would happen to the HSVDT? To that end I still don't actually know what the answer is.

And now:


Tony Blair's Imaginary Lunch"Popcorn"

Tony loves popcorn. Did his title of PM actually stand for Popcorn Master? Could be.