When I were a wee lad in school, the thing that was all the rage was the idea that kids needed "self-esteem". I remember a lot of lectures in class about self-esteem this and self-esteem that; because the teachers were worried that if the kids didn't have self-esteem, we'd all go off and join a gang. I do not know what kind of gangs that they imagined rolling around suburbia in the 1980s and 1990s but I am sure that having self-esteem would not have addressed the issues of racism, classism, bullying, and straight up nastiness exhibited when the rule of the schoolyard is in force.
In the Christianisation period of the Roman Empire when the Roman religion was being re-synthesised by the church, a fashionable thing to do was to make lists of everything (always with the lists) and one of those lists was the Seven Deadly Sins. It is not by accident that one of the seven deadly sins is Superbia, or what might be called "Pride".
I mention these two things because I simply do not know if a lack of self-esteem is the exact inverse of Superbia on the other. Conceivably I can think of circumstances were one should take pride in what they have achieved and what they have built because it is good and proper to do so. Superbia is listed as one of the seven deadly sins, and I am sure that if you asked people that they would agree that one of the worst traits a human can have is that of pride; but because of the consequences that that has.
Perhaps the attendants of Superbia as King of the Kingdom of One, are useful at arriving at where a sensible middle is. Superbia's twin sons of Vainglory and Arrogance, seek to direct accolades, glory and praise, to someone who perhaps is not inherently deserving of it. Maybe the answer is purely to ignore the attendants, because whatever crown that Superbia has can not shine in the absence of a light being shone upon in. In short, it might very well be acceptable to be proud of yourself but not to the point of conceit.
However, if the light is shone outwards, then what we arrive at is an idea approaching humility. Humility is not about thinking less of one's self, but of thinking about one's self less. If we can invent some kind of general principle here, then the general idea would be to have a modest opinion of one’s self (not a low opinion) in order to better understand the kosmos. The two word motto "know thyself" seems to also apply to valuing one's self. I suspect that in turn, this will open our eyes and hearts to developing empathy towards other people as well.
Humility insofar as it is neither Vainglory and Arrogance, is also not self-denigration. Humility teaches us that not only are our neighbours are no less valuable than we are but that we are no less valuable than our neighbours. Instead of the empty rhetoric that all people are created equal, Humility teaches us that all humans are indeed equal and valuable; including ourselves. In looking past our superiority and self-importance, we may perhaps find something greater than ourselves and in the process realise that we are not as pathetic as we thought.
Surely one of the most excellent ways to practice humility is to let other people speak. People have a need for validation and recognition, as well as having their concerns and complaints heard and listened to. It find it no coincidence at all that the political process that the referendum will be heading towards as a result of the series of dialogues with produced the Uluru Statement From The Heart, is called the "Voice". I also find it no coincidence at all that the biggest opponents to the Voice, want to claim that because we are all "equal" that the concerns and complaints of first peoples should not heard and listened to and nothing should be done.
Letting others speak is important but by the same token, I also do not think that we should demand from people to tell us things that they might not be comfortable with. Some things are just none of our business and duty of care aside, we should not pry into the affairs of other people; especially if we are deliberately looking for something to beat them into the ground with later. Humility does not demand what it is not entitled to.
Speaking as the perpetual pessimist, I expect things to go wrong. Although having said this, when things go right, I am very happy. It is important to accept being disappointed because if we do not, Vainglory and Arrogance will attend quickly and demand that we get our fair share. The uncomfortable truth is that we have all made mistakes that have either affected ourselves or others in our lives. There is no reason or sense to judge someone else for their mistakes. One should try to apologise for one's mistakes, correct the issue if possible, and be very quick to forgive others. How many times should you forgive someone? As many times as it takes for grace to be extended and to make someone better.
It is also worth remembering that it is perfectly okay if people do not like you. We can not demand the friendship of others, any more than we can demand that a Granny Smith Apple should turn itself red. It is just entirely possible that owing to personality differences, that other people will find you grating and difficult. By the same token, one should try to be polite and grateful because clinking along together underpins a lot of the mechanical actions of civil society. This might also involve complementing other people, which may involve paying attention to people more attentively.
One of the things that I am extremely disappointed in which has occurred especially over the past 10 years, is how the idea of "virtue signalling" has come to be demonised. Virtue should be signalled. Virtue should be practiced. Virtue should be modelled. Instead what we've seen are Superbia's attendants of Vainglory and Arrogance writ large; at the centre of public policy and politics, which has resulted in people seeing their neighbours as less valuable as themselves. If Humility was a public practice, the world would change very quickly. Of course, all of this is very easy to say but much hard to do, when you are literally the centre of your own universe.
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