I do not particularly care much about manufactured holidays such as National Muffin Day, National Ice Cream Day, or National Bowling Day because not only are there no public holidays for these things but as they are the invention of a marketing company, they also have no significance beyond selling whatever the thing in question is.
It should be in keeping with my general apathy on the matter that I also shouldn't care about RU OK Day but I can see the utility in such a day and think that discussion about mental health is important. Moreover it is important to look out for people who you care about.
The RU OK Day website describes itself as "our national day of action when we remind Australians that every day is the day to ask, “Are you OK?” if someone in your world is struggling with life's ups and downs." While that's fine and good and proper, I do wonder about the people for whom the question is never asked. In asking "Are you OK?", if nothing else we demonstrate that that person has value of greater than zero. What happens to the people of whom the question is never asked?
I can safely say that in all the years of RU OK Day, that exactly nobody has asked if I am okay. I do not whether or not I should be glad that people think that my mental health is fine, or be hideously in despair because I matter so very little to people. I could get eaten by a bear and nobody would care. No, if I got eaten by a bear then that would be extraordinary because we don't have bears in Australia.
I have sufficiently large enough of a mental toolkit that I'm actually quite fine with nobody asking the question and even if I actually matter to nobody, I find that somewhat liberating as that means that I am also not important enough to be someone's enemy. I've probably been forced to build my own mental toolkit due to acts of insensible unkindness by people and while that's all good for me, it matters not an iota to someone who hurts.
Mental health is something that I am hopelessly unqualified to speak about. As my mind lives in a fragile shell which can be destroyed and I can only see the world from a single perspective, then any advice that I dispense should mostly never be followed. In fact, the only advice that I can offer which I can guarantee is sensible is this: Try to be kind to people.
Someone you know might be openly or secretly coping with difficult circumstances and that's more likely at the moment. Try to be kind to them. Make that phone call because if nothing else, they will know that they matter to someone. Just asking the question is proof that someone matters more than zero.
What about the people who you sort of don't know how they are going? A mind that is coping badly usually does not want to reach out for any help because that complicates things further. A mind which has already got the knives out, is also highly likely to be worried about turning them inwards. Try to be kind to them. Make that phone call.
Maybe you aren't okay. If you are reading this and are not okay, then that is perfectly acceptable. In fact, if someone is going through something awful then being happy about it might either be the response of someone lying to themselves or deliberately being stupid. It is okay not to be okay. If the issue is big enough, you might need to get out of it. Also, make the phone call. Sometimes we need to have the grace to let someone else be kind to us.
The world is mostly a selfish, self-interested, and impersonal mess. A lot of the systems which exist, exist solely to extract money and power from people. If you multiply that by more than seven billion then that means that there are an awful lot of people who are not okay. While your uniqueness is completely real, that uniqueness is a small component of a very big system. Everything worthwhile has been built by people in community who have built something bigger than themselves. If you are not okay, then you are allowed to ask for help.
I like RU OK Day. I like that this manufactured day exists because unlike National Muffin Day, National Ice Cream Day, or National Bowling Day, it exists for a greater purpose than selling things - but if you want to eat Muffins or Ice Cream, or go bowing, that's okay too.
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