There is a man from a prominent family whom my family hates, who stands outside of my balcony and tells me that he loves me and rather than confront my family who would be opposed to our courtship sight unseen, I am considering faking my own death and possibly committing suicide if the plan goes wrong.
- J, Verona
I wanted to destroy other people's real estate but due to my asthma, I ran out of breath when I came to the third and more substantial property and was unable to do so.
- BB, The Woods
I mistakenly stabbed someone through a curtain and killed them.
- H, Denmark
I pulled my sister's hair and stuck my tongue out before saying rude words, on Christmas Day, no less. I ruined Christmas and they still gave me some plum pie. I still said that I was "good", unrepentantly.
- JH, The Corner
I design machinery with no regards for occupational health and safety and when my son came around to visit this one time, we had a dispute and I cut off his hand with a laser sword. He fell down a very large vent shaft because I didn't install hand rails.
- DV, DS-1 Orbital Defensive Sphere
I live in a city with very obvious crime and law and order issues but rather than adequately fund the police force or invest in city housing projects, I have purchased and built my own private arsenal of improbable and expensive weaponry.
- BW, Gotham City
I design highly risky plans to catch and kill one specific kind of fast moving poultry, which frequently results in personal injury; when I could have just as easily gone to any freezer cabinet in a supermarket and found some other kind of poultry.
- WEC, The Painted Desert
I am so unsuited to managing the civil administration of a small town that practically everyone has moved away and I subcontract out my responsibilities to a small boy who has his own unholy army of puppies. I am also unable to keep track of my one and only pet chicken.
- MH, Adventure Town
Even though I am contracted to star in a 24 minute television program, I actually only write 18 minutes of content and fill up the other six minutes by asking a question directly to the audience and then stare blankly at the camera, under the premise that I somehow have the ability to listen to them.
- DR, The Explorer
I actually shot JR.
- JRE, Dallas
We actually filmed the moon landing in a studio. What we didn't tell anyone was that we had to pack up an entire sound stage and send it to the moon.
- NA, NASA
I didn't check the weather before I went to Gloucester and drove into swollen river. Rather than admit personal fault, I simply refuse to make house calls to that city any more.
- Dr.F
I secretly commit murder on a contractual basis but nobody has ever suspected that I did any of them because I am an old lady.
- JM, St Mary Mead
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- S, Dunsfold Aerodrome
I became increasingly jealous and irrational towards my boyfriend, whom I suspected of having love affairs with other women; and rather than bothering to read his response to a telegram which I sent to him, I comitted suicide by throwing myself under a train.
- AK, Moscow
I frequently get myself into minor moral predicaments and when I try to get out of them, I get caught and have to face my day who gives me lecture regarding my extremely petty moral turpitude.
- TC, Mapleton Drive
I was attacked by birds in retribution for running a pet store, when they all decided to gang up on me after getting lawyered up. I caused an explosion at a petrol station, accidentally caused the death of a neighbour, and had to have the military intervene.
- MD, San Francisco
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