Horse 2790 - War on Christmas

Dear Ray Hadley,

You asserted on your 2GB radio show that there is a "War on Christmas". As someone who has been bombarded with Maria Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" just about every time I have walked into a shop since late October, seen armies of pallets of the official “I know nothing about you but I am still giving you a present” Christmas gift Ferrero Rocher, and seen enough tinsel to hogtie Hannibal's battalions of elephants on skis as they were coming over the Italian Alps, I can safely say that if there is a "War on Christmas" then Christmas is rudely winning.

Love,

Rollo

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Dear Horse,

As a prolific letter-writer, I feel I must protest about the previous letter. I am nearly eighty and am quite mad. If this sort of thing goes on for much longer... Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom. You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right? Right!

Yours etc.,

Sir Elmer Frogwhipple VC, ATM, KFC, BBQ.

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Dear Horse,

I object strongly to the letters on your blog. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh.

I have the honour to be your obedient servant,

A.Ham.

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I have no idea when this humbug of a supposed  began but I imagine that this current outrage began as a ploy to turn things like holiday greetings and decorations into potentially divisive political statements. Just like every other "War On..." vague concepts like Drugs, Communism, Terror, Poverty, etc. the vague concept always ends up winning because fighting a perpetual war with no clear conditions that would lead to its conclusion, is not actually about solving the problem but about maintaining outrage. 

For a shade over 40 years, Christianity has been weaponised in the United States for the pure purpose of extracting votes from the public in elections. Following the success of that perpetual campaign, a similar strategy is being employed in Australia but to far less effect because Australia became far more secular far more quickly. Not only that, the last four decades have also seen a dramatic shift in migration patterns of people who haven't come from nominally cultural Christian countries.

The idea of a "War on Christmas" where people use more inclusive phrases like "Happy Holidays" as an imagined insult to Christianity, just doesn't fly that far in a secular country, or where people come from many different faith backgrounds. It is impossible to build the same level of outrage if people genuinely don't care and will continue to have their Christmas with all of the secular paraphernalia.

To give you an idea of the sheer dumbness of declaring a "War on Christmas" where people use phrases like "Happy Holidays", consider just how many holidays there are crammed in this period of the year:

11/12 - Hanukkah Starts (Jewish)

12/12 - Dhanu Sankranti (Hindu)

14/12 - Geeta Jayanti (Hindu)

18/12 - Hanukkah Ends (Jewish)

23/12 - Festivus (Secular)

24/12 - Christmas Eve (Christian)

25/12 - Christmas Day (Christian)

26/12 - Boxing Day (Christian)

27/12 - Kwanzaa (Pan-Africanism)

28/12 - Holy Innocents Day (Christian)

31/12 - Watch Night (Christian)

01/01 - New Year's Day (Secular)

20/01 - Bodhi Day (Bhuddist)

26/01 - Australia Day (Secular)

I don't care about being "politically correct" which itself is another invented "War On..." a vague concept but given that you don't really know what holidays someone celebrates just by looking at them then "Happy Holidays" seems like a pretty good option. People are already running around in a season which is overloaded with jobs, tasks, shopping and a zillion other things that have to be done; so going out of one's way to engage in outrage over a phantom concept, seems pretty dumb. It's already hard to be merry or happy when you've got stuff that has to be finished by the end of the year. If you celebrate one holiday and the person you’re talking to observes another one, by using some kind of generic term, then you’re doing your bit to make sure someone’s holiday actually is merry or happy, or at very least not even more stressful. I find it even more weird that people don't seem to have a problem with the phrase "Season’s Greetings" even though it achieves exactly the same function.

If you really want to see what a "War on Christmas" looks like, then think of the Puritans. The Puritans had in England already successfully waged war against dancing and sport and then went to America to start their own fun hating society after some of them had been arrested for disrupting dances, sport, singing in church, and fairs. The Puritans in their lovely new no-fun America, decided to go even further and from 1659 to 1681 Christmas itself was banned in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Anyone found celebrating Christmas in the colony would be fined five shillings. People were expected to go to work and churches were barred from holding religious services; until 1870 in some cases.

Back in England, the Puritans dominated House of Commons passed a 1644 ordinance which abolished Christmas, Easter and Whitsun and from 1644 to 1660, Christmas was officially illegal in England. 

I suspect that what Mr Hadley actually objects to isn't an imagined "War on Christmas" but rather, the thought that brown people might be actually having a lovely time. To further undermine the idea that there is a "War on Christmas" going on, I find it odd that immediately before this complaint on Ray Hadley's 2GB radio show, Maria Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" was played yet again. I also find it really odd that in a rant about a "War on Christmas", Mr Hadley didn't once speak about a Jewish kid born in a shed and put into an animal food trough. It's almost as if that doesn't matter at all in the ongoing "War on Christmas".