I'll sing you three, O
Green grow the rushes, O
What are your three, O?
Three flags, upon my bus stop.
Two, two Union Flags,
Flapping in the breezes, O
Union Flag upon my john,
And ever more shall be so.
In a move which surprised nobody because gross incompetence and knavery in governments across the Anglosphere is no longer all that surprising, the Secretary of State for Housing, Communities & Local Government Robert Jenrick announced that all local councils across Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland were asked to "fly the Union Flag with pride on their buildings every day". As the celebrated British man of letters and inventor of a famous dictionary Samuel Johnson once said: Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
Admittedly, Johnson himself was a Tory, didn't believe in self-determination or representation for English people much less the American colonies and was slagged by by his mate James Boswell as exhibiting "prejudice and a narrow nationalism", his pithy saw is often seen today in action when governments are in crisis. In Australia this often manifests itself in the flag debate, when the government is on fire.
Jenrick's announcement as published on HM's gov.uk states:
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/union-flag-to-be-flown-on-uk-government-buildings-every-day
New guidance published today by the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) will see the Union flag flown on UK Government buildings every day.
Currently, Union flags are only required to be flown on all UK Government buildings on designated days. The guidance will ask for the flag to be flown all year round, unless another flag is being flown – such as another national flag of the UK, or a county flag, or other flags to mark civic pride.
...
Today the Local Government Secretary Robert Jenrick has written to all councils In England to raise awareness of the guidance and encourage them to fly Union flags on their buildings.
- gov.uk, 24th Mar 2021.
Of course that brings into play Section 11 of the Law Of Unintended Consequences Act which dates from well before time immemorial (6th July 1189)¹ and possibly as far back as the Garden of Eden Fruit Consumption Exclusion Act². Section 11 of the Law Of Unintended Consequences Act includes all perverse effects which are contrary to what was originally intended, when an intended solution creates even more problems, and when purposeful actions create consequences that are not intended or foreseen. The Law Of Unintended Consequences Act doesn't really make a distinction between what is good and beneficial and what is obnoxious or just plain daft.
If the DCMS's announcement includes all UK Government buildings and extends to all councils in England to their buildings as well, then that asks the question 'what is a building?'. The answer to that, as indeed to most matters of definitions of words, is defined at law.
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1984/55/section/121/enacted
"any permanent or temporary building, and, unless the context otherwise requires, it includes any other structure or erection of whatever kind or nature (whether permanent or temporary)"
- Section 121, Building Act 1984
Any?!
Any permanent or temporary building as defined by the law includes "any other structure or erection of whatever kind or nature" in what has to be about one of the most broad sweeping definitions I have ever seen at law. It means that it would not only apply to things which are obviously buildings such as office blocks, the Town Hall, council chambers but would also apply to every single outbuilding and small building that a council owns. Suddenly potting sheds, bus stops, wendy houses, children's play equipment, sheds, grandstands, public lavatories and outhouses, and a whole host other assorted things are included.
Surely this is the way of madness. Mind you, the way of madness has been one of the defining features of Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland for quite some time. Once upon a time Scotland thought that it was a good idea to put one fifth of all its money into one company and then went bankrupt after it failed. Thus the United Kingdom proper was born.
Also:
The Government has also cut red tape to allow dual flagging – where two flags can be flown on one pole. Where organisations have two flag poles, they can fly the Union flag alongside another flag. This will allow organisations to highlight their local identity alongside their national identities, for example by flying a Middlesex county flag alongside the Union flag in London, or the Saltire alongside the Union flag in Scotland.
- gov.uk, 24th Mar 2021.
I really want to know exactly what Mr Jenrick means by a local identity. I can assume for all practical purposes that the local identity probably includes all historical cases before 1974 if one can fly a Middlesex county flag alongside the Union flag in London but how far back does that go? Is Liverpool part of Lancashire?
Do we include the counties which existed before the first county councils were set up in 1889? Does this include exclaves per the The Counties (Detached Parts) Act 1844?
Technically the flag of the Kingdom of France is also allowed as Henry VI as well as being an English monarch was also crowned King of France.
Do we go back even further to say Julius Caesar's invasions of Britain with two legions in 55BC? Is a Roman Vexillum suitable under the auspices of this act? Quid agatur in infernum?
I also note that Jenrick's announcement includes exactly zero funding announcements for the flagpoles that might need to be affixed to all the bus stations, potting sheds, and lavatories across HM's Blighty. I have no idea how many small buildings there are across the land but Bobby's folly is that there doesn't appear to have been any cash allotted to putting flagpoles on a folly.
Just to be safe and to comply with the law, flag poles and Union Flags ought to be put on every single government building, no matter how small (and maybe dustbins) because The Right Honourable Robert Jenrick is right; British patriotism and civic pride ought to be upheld rather than decency or sensibility because the government are going over the edge of an abyss and the nation must march solidly behind them.
Hurrah!
== To conclude in full chorus of Rule Britannia, Land of Hope and Glory, Jerusalem etc ==
== Made in Glorious Text ==
== © MMXXI ==
Additional Dialogue by William Shakespeare.
¹Statute of Westminster 1275
²"but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil", Section 2, Garden of Eden Fruit Consumption Exclusion Act
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