"Ahah!" I don't hear you say because this is the medium of text and a one way information device and also that I have no idea who you are and can not conceive what your voice sounds like. "We have made it through 2021 and 2022 is a shiny new year for us to experience."
WRONG.
This is not 2022 but 2020 continuing to linger like the foul malodorous smell that it is. This airborne breeze of microscopic pestilence, this air of foulness, the ever creeping steps of time stealing silently by as death hangs around on the front porch waiting to be let inside.
How can this be? 2020 began 731 days ago. Since January 1 we have been around the sun once and again. Normally I would agree that a year is an astronomical event when a heavenly body orbits its celestial solar partner once but seeing as the world is made of stories and we get to lay whatever story we like over the top, then space and time and here and now are only in your mind anyway.
Think about it, people who were born in 1991 will be turning 51 in the next twelve months. Teenagers weren't staying in their room and being mopey because of teenage angst, they were doing it out of a sense of selfless community service. Old people appeared to be aging backwards with some of them going out and acting like they were 22 again. Time was already a nebulous thing but in 2020, it's like someone dropped the jar and it's just leaking out in all directions.
2020 continued from 2019 after Abscondment Day when the Prime Minister (Scott Morrison) took a trip to Hawaii while half the country was on fire. 2020 has simply refused to end. Plague? 2020. Insurrections? 2020. Lockdowns? 2020. Euro Football? 2020. The Olympics? 2020.
This is not as you might think, the first day or 2022 but rather, the 732nd day of 2020. This is the year which the world keeps getting hotter and faster and madder and angrier; and where we don’t pause, don’t think, don’t learn, keep racing on to the next disaster and where we are condemned to repeat the mistakes not of some lone forgotten past but the rotating present where we just keep on adding months to an already tiresome and exhausting year.
It has not been helped by the NSW Premier Dom Perrotet basically telling the people of NSW that we're all on our own and that we all have to wear the hat of "personal responsibility". By removing QR codes and refusing to put in place any kind of public health measure, he may as well have just thrown us out into the arena to face lions; armed only with a half-eaten banana, some used bus tickets, and some shop-a-dockets. 2020 will definitely continue to continue and shows no signs of ending.
The date today is 1/25/2020. This is not in an American date format but rather, this is the 1st day of the twenty-fifth month of 2020. We already ran out of new month names a while ago and so, for the next twelve months, I am officially issuing some new month names.
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
Undecimber
Duodecimber
Tredecimber
Quattuordecimber
Hermes
Tiberi
Caligulum
Vigitimber
Witu
Windume
Herbist
Hailag
Abeonary
Ruminary
Odino
Mercedonius
Zeus
Trentember
Nero
Vespasium
Trigintatresember
Trigintaquatember
Trigintaquinquember
Defessusember
This might be a fun project for some of the more curious types out there to work out why I selected these names and please feel free to do so. This is summer and as I am writing this in the humidity of La Nina (back in late Hailag) I am sure that for those of us who live on this wide brown land which is about three quarters of a mile away from the surface of the sun, I am sure that I will lack the ability to mark your work. Please grade your term paper and give yourself your own mark and if you get more than 80%, you will win an imaginary lifetime supply of brussels sprouts (they taste good if you want them to).
My expectation is that 2020 will end at some point. Of course I have no idea when but I hope that it's on 31st Defessusember. Then it will be January 1st 2023 and then hopefully, 2020 will be gone for good.
- 1st Abeonary, 2020.
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