Metaphorically, I don't just live in a house on Pedant Corner, I am the landlord and run The Red Kangaroo pub on the corner. We have a front bar, a bistro, and a covered patio out the back. There are also rooms to let, for both an overnight stay and on a more permanent basis. You can check in any time you like but you... ...must check out before 10am, so that we can clean the premises for the next guest. We are nothing like the Hotel California that The Eagles sung about. The Red Kangaroo is in the rather unglamorous suburb of West Banana; which contains the abandoned Widget factory, the abandoned Gadget factory, the abandoned Gidget factory (which churns out 1960s surf films), and the University Of The Obvious from which I have a Dr (Zhivago) and honours in KFC.
I wouldn't go to the effort of building an imaginary pub in an imaginary suburb and especially not on Pedant Corner unless I had a very good reason. One of the things that spins my gyro and grinds my gears, is when people use the wrong term for the wrong thing. I think that I am driven by a sense of logos and telos and that if things don't do what they are supposed to or a described in terms that are sensible, then the shutters go up and it is closing time at The Red Kangaroo.
Out in the real world (which is much much smaller than the space inside the fortress of my mind), as someone who commutes to and from work on the train, I am subjected to many announcements over the tannoy which begin "Customers:" and every single time I hear that, I die a little bit inside.
So, as a guest of The Red Kangaroo, pull up a stool and have half a pint of mild. It's on the house... (although not actually on the house).
Customers:
Customers are people who buy real goods that can be carried away from the premises. There might be something to be said about the transitory nature of life and the fact that in the grand story of history, we are all here today and gone tomorrow; which begs the question of whether any of us can truly own anything but that can be short-circuited. Yes, you buy things. Yes, you take them away. That's where the transaction ends; so once you leave the premises, you're no longer out concern.
I would argue that a customer is someone who buys a real thing, irrespective of size; from a single peppercorn, to a Mars bar, to a truckload of timber, to a motor car, to a hundred thousand tons of iron ore, and beyond. I am also inclined to think that in the 21st century where a thing can be bought which is digital, such as music, video and movies, and computer programs, then those things although beyond microscopic, are still in fact real. We live very late in time; where the border line between tangible and intangible is very very hard to find because of the Forest of Nonsense.
Clients:
Clients are people who buy services; which can not be carried. There are different kinds of clients and sometimes with specific descriptors but if the actual product can not be picked up and taken away, then the buyer is most likely a client.
Plumbers, Lawyers, Accountants, Banks, Architects, Administrators, Managers... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... are not in the business of selling things. What we buy from these people is expertise, skill, and that a job will be performed, rather than a thing which can be bought and carried away.
This is why I am so annoyed whenever I hear the announcement "Customers:" on the tannoy of the train. I am not a customer of Sydney Trains. Sydney Trains does not actually sell me a train ticket. What Sydney Trains actually sells me, is permission to use their service; which is the performance of transporting passengers from one place to another.
The reason why I make this distinction (and indeed why this post was prompted in the first place) is that there is a difference between a customer who arrives, takes away a thing, and leaves, and a client who has a service performed for them. A customer is less likely to be obligated to return their custom, whereas a client is more likely to engage in an ongoing relationship where a service is performed on a regular basis.
It really riled me when I was working for the Commonwealth Bank and a manager several levels up told me that I shouldn't have been so kind to a "customer". Internally, the position that I was employed as was called a "Customer Service Officer", which is a nonsense as the bank sells practically nothing except for a few knick-knacks which can be taken away. Banks have clients, whom through inertia are likely to remain as clients for decades at a time. As someone who is even closer to the front line of business (having been working for the same firm for a long time), I would rather prefer to have clients than customers. Customers who buy a thing, including very big things such as motor cars, are subject to the winds of whimsy and fashion, and while there is such a thing as brand loyalty, clients are people with whom you want to develop acquaintance and even business friendship, so that they will keep on coming back.
Members, Patrons and Guests:
These are the people who either stay directly on your premises, or with whom you have a direct connection via subscription or ownership.
Members are people who own the firm. Patrons are people who via up-front subscription, pay for services to be performs. Guests are people who arrive and enjoy your premises, the performance of the service, mostly on a single-time basis.
In theory, the membership of a club owns part or all of the club in common and their membership fees pay for the ongoing performance of tyhe club for the year to follow. Members need not have a monetary stake in the ownership of the club, which is often the case of a church.
I suspect that a lot of businesses which choose to call themselves clubs, aren't really. A football team which sells season tickets, might very well have patrons who pay for the performance of the service up front but with no voting rights, a season ticket holder is not really a member, despite the nomenclature used.
Guests are people who arrive at a premises on a temporary basis. A guest is not a temporary member despite what some clubs (particularly RSL Clubs) like to say as signing on at the front desk, confers no voting or ownership rights at all. Temporary use of a facility, is more like a rental arrangement than a collective ownership arrangement which is what membership is.
The Point:
Do I have one? Not really. People are going to use and abuse the language any old which way and in all circumstances. Trying to hold back what people say is like trying to stand on the edge of the ocean with a pitchfork and then command the waves to stop coming. Nevertheless, The Red Kangaroo is my imaginary pub on Pedant Corner and while I am the landlord, I can and will exercise my right to eject guests.
The other announcement which they like to put over the tannoy on a regular basis, tells us to mind The Doors. I mean that's find I suppose but Jim Morrison died before I was born.
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