Hewaw.
My name is Micah and I am wonderful.
I have learned that da peoples of da country are going to do elections on Saturday and say who day think will be da best at doing yellings and making da rules. I no can do elections. I can do yellings though. I am good at doing yellings. I am good at doing yellings at dark-time when my peoples are asleep and they should no be asleep any more and need to give me breakfast. I am good at doing yellings in da backyard when other cats visit. I am good at doing yellings for no reason at all, when I walk into a room and it is not filled with my yellings. I like da sound of my yellings. My yellings are good yellings.
When da people who make da rules do their yellings on da tebevisions, they look silly. I no can tell and I no care which group of peoples are on what team of yelling. I know that there are two teams of yellings, with one team yelling this way and the other team yelling that way. I no have any idea how da rules are made but it all looks very silly and very fun. I think that da people like yellings as much as I do. The yellings in rooms where da rules are made are different to da yellings in da big backyards on da tebevisions when da peoples kick a ball around.
There are two rooms of yellings on da tebevisions. There is a loud room of yelling where lots of peoples yell all da time and there is a quiet room where only a bit of yellings happens.
In da loud room of yellings da people who sits on the big chair up front yells "Order" a lot and then da people in da room do more yellings to decide what they'd like to order. I think they like cheeseburgers and ham and bacon. They very very much like pork. They like pork so much that they like to yell about barrels of pork. I have no seen a pork barrel. I have only seen cans of tuna and cans of meats. Da people in da yelling room need a whole barrel of pork because there is lots of them and they all need breakfast because they are so angry and cranky all da time.
In da quiet room of yellings da people do a lot of "hmm" and "aaah" and I have seen some of da peoples have a nap in this room. Da quiet room of yellings must be where da people who have been in da loud room of yellings go when it is nap time. This is how da rules are made. Do yellings in one room, then do more yellings in another room and have a nap. It is very important to have a nap so that you are not angry and cranky all da time. My sister Nana is angry and cranky all da time because she is full of old and when you are full of old, you need more naps.
In the rooms full of yellings, da peoples do yellings about different things. Sometimes they do yellings about getting more sticks and keeping everyone away. When you want to keep other peoples away, then you build a big thing made of sticks and metals and you call it "Da Fence". Sometimes they do yellings about da small peoples and about doing book learnings. Small peoples need to know how to do book learnings, or do mad skillz, so that when they is big they can bring home nums and hams and chikkin. Sometimes they do yellings about helf. Helf has something to do with da hospitals. My daddy peoples went to da hospitals and came back with a broken leg and smelled of chemicals. It was no fun. Sometimes da peoples do yellings about houses. We live in a house. We're good. Da thing that da peoples in da rooms do da most yellings about is money. I do not know what money is but it must be very bad if it makes da peoples angry and grumpy all the time.
When you go to do elections and choose which peoples that you want to do your yellings for you, you have to decide what kind of yellings that you want and what is going to help you. My man people often asks me "Are you helping?" and I say "Nay, nay, nay. I am not helping." Cats never help. Helping is silly. Helping is not getting what you want now. Not getting what you want now is bad. You should do da elections to get your peoples who will make da rules to give you what you want. If everyone gets what they want then everyone will be happy and can have a nap.
But no no no.
Some peoples want chikkins. Some peoples want hams. Some peoples want no chikkins or hams but want plants. Some peoples want houses so that they no have to live outside in da cold. Some peoples want more gardenuing. Some peoples big gardenuing with cows and hams and chikkins. All da peoples wanting different things all the time is angry and cranky making. You should do your elections for da group of peoples who can do your yellings for you. When peoples get what they want, they have a party.
If you like doing works, then do you elections for da Labors Party. If you like doing da business and think that peoples should mind their own business, then then do you elections for da Liberals Party. If you like plants, then do you elections for da Greens (they do not have de word "party" after their name because they are grumpy). If you like doing da gardenings and da farms, you would think that you would do your elections for the Farmers Party but because they live in da country, they used to be called da Country Party but now because there are peoples in da city too, they are da National Party. If you like doing yellings of "Freedom Freedom Freedom" or "Flavour Flavour Flavour", then do you elections for da United Australia Party. All of these peoples no like each other but like to do yellings.
If I was a peoples, then I would very much like to be in da room with the loud yellings. I am good at doing yellings. I would do yellings for good reasons and for no reason at all. To get a seat in the room of yellings, first you need lots of peoples to do their elections and write 1 next to your name, which says that you are da best. I am the best. I am so much da best that I would not need to join a party. I am a party. I am da Surprise Party. My peoples can be minding their own business and I will enter the room and do my yellings and then they have to mind my business. Surprise! I would put up posters on poles which say Vote 1 Micah because I am the best at yellings, ever. If I get what I want then everyone will be happy and can have a nap. Except that I would forget to do da paperwork to get on da elections. I would already be taking a nap. There will no be a poster with Vote 1 Micah but there should be.
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