Christmas 2022 is different from the recent few that we've had in that it will not be accompanied with the very real fears of COVID-19 coming to dinner. Instead, we've all been invited by the media to engage in a glorious worldwide mass super-ultra-spreader event in what is already being called by this sentence: SARS Cov-2, Electric Boogaloo.
This year, a big marketing push which is different from previous years, is the "The Most Triangle Time Of The Year" campaign for Toblerone; which is trying to unseat Ferrero Rocher as the gift of choice for people that you don't know very well (and maybe don't like). In the Twittersphere this has been met with howls of derision and or praise, as this is one of those classic arguments where because the stakes are exactly nil, then this is the most important argument in the history of ever. There are those people who apparently hate Toblerone and cite that it is too pointy and hurts to eat and then there are those from whom this is several kinds of fantastic.
But lo! I fall into a third and interesting category. I am the radical centre. As someone who has already rated lots of various kinds of chocolate (see Horse 2878) then I already have a scale and a rating which I can apply. Here it goes. Toblerone is...
C2 - Adequate.
Whoa!
I realise that there is nothing wrong with things that are C2 Adequate but they're not particularly brilliant either. You know what? That's fine. Even the concept of a thing being C2 Adequate maps back onto the rating of C2 Adequate. There's nothing wrong with things that are C2 Adequate but they're not particularly brilliant either. You know what? That's fine. Even the concept of a thing being C2 Adequate maps back onto the rating of C2 Adequate. There's nothing wrong with things that are C2 Adequate but they're not particularly brilliant either. You know what? That's fine. Even the concept of a thing being C2 Adequate maps back onto the rating of C2 Adequate. There's nothing wrong with things that are C2 Adequate but they're not particularly brilliant either. You know what? That's fine. Even the concept of...
[ctrl-k]
I do not think that we celebrate the adequate and the mundane enough. I think that because humans are in part hedonistic, which is partly useful in bio-electro-mechanical meatbag machines, that we have a tendency to always want new and better experiences when in actual fact being satisfied with what is perfectly adequate is good enough. There are two engineering maxims that encompass this perfectly. Firstly YAGNI (You Ain't Gonna Need It) which can be applied to the design and purchase of a whole bunch of things; and secondly "Good Enough is good enough", which is related.
Toblerone - C2 Adequate
The most exciting things about Toblerone are its shape and the little bits of nougat/nuts in it. Otherwise, it is a C2 Adequate chocolate. Admittedly the name Toblerone is fun to have turned into custom nonsense like Toboblernone ot Tobrollerbob but apart from that, it doesn't even warrant description. Toblerone is a thing which exists.
The Entire State Of Victoria - C2 Adequate
Melbourne has trams which are fun and trains which are fun but if you don't happen to live within close proximity of those, then Melbourne is just like any other city. Victoria is not simply just Melbourne though. It has some country areas, alpine areas, plains areas, seaside areas; so as far as wanting anything markedly different from the other states in the Commonwealth, it can not deliver.
Depending on who you are, the current Labor Government which is headed by Premier Dan Andrews is either a shining light in the darkness or the devil incarnate. This discourse is aided and abtetted by The Age, the Herald Sun, Channels 7, 9 and to a lesser degree 10. Victoria as a state is either super-brilliant or has become a cesspit of Danistan. There is no middle ground here. When you take an average of the discourse, what you're left with is a state which is C2 Adequate.
Sport Utility Vehicles - C2 Adequate
Nobody buys an SUV because they expect a performance machine. Nobody buys an SUV because they expect something fun. I think that the vast majority of people who buy SUVs simply want to go from A to B, without ever thinking aboiut going to C or D. E is right out of the question. These people just want something big enough to put their stuff and their sprogs into and that's it. These are the kind of people for whom the quality of the stereo is important, for whom things like the seats and air-con are important, and for whom the car is mostly irrelevant.
I have no doubt that SUVs are brilliantly engineered but they do most jobs, badly. If you want to haul things, get a ute, or a van, or a wagon. If you want something fuel efficient, get a hatchback. If you want something sporty, get a proper sports car. SUVs are all the compromises that anyone can think of, all combined into a perfectly adequate product.
Coldplay - C2 Adequate
Nothing else needs to be said about this.
Wednesday - C2 Adequate
People will cite Friday as the day that everyone looks to the weekend, or Thursday as the day when people feel that the week is dragging on but there's nothing really to say that Wednesdays are good or bad. They just are. If you're doing work on a Wednesday and if needs to be carried on with, it's still going to be there the next day. If you need something done by a tradesperson, then Wednesday is generally a day that they will be available to do it on. As far as days of the week goes, Wednesday is in the top 4 and in the bottom 4. It just exists.
People - C2 Adequate
In the aggregate, people are selfish, stupid, obnoxious and daft, cruel, unthinking, and blinkered. We only ever really see what's immediately in front of our faces and then try to extrapolate the entire universe based upon our own limited experience. There are some truly hideous people who weaponise cruelty and blinkering through the use of power and violence and these people probably account for about 5% of everyone in the world. Then there are those people such as teachers, hospice nurses, bus and train drivers, some police officers, charity workers and medical workers in the field, and people who give pastoral care, who make the rest of use look like the pond scum we are. These are the good people who seem to derive energy from helping others. This is not about them.
Most of us, the great 95% of people are selfish, stupid, obnoxious and daft, cruel, unthinking, and blinkered but evidently, we are capable of pleasantness, being kind, doing things out of a sense of altruism, being affectionate, and actually daring to love people. In the aggregate we create families, commonwealths, communities, tribes and nations, and that also includes smaller pieces of data which includes amazing feats of physical endurance, creativity, and building great things. I live in a city of about 5 million people; which mostly came about by accident, where people have built houses, roads, schools, hospitals, shopping centres, et cetera. That's pretty neat.
On the whole, as people are both cruel and selfish and kind and create families and communities, we are gloriously C2 Adequate.
Cadbury Vegemite - F
Still poor.
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