A copypasta that has passed into lore on the internet is "The Shopping Cart Theory". I have no idea from where this first appeared, though I have seen it pop up in forums and being read dramatically on YouTube.
"The Shopping Cart Theory" is as follows:
The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing.
To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it. No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct.
A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.
The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.
...
I like the Shopping Cart Theory because it presents itself as a proper experiment upon which to do analytical philosophy upon. We get to evaluate whether or not this theory itself is true or not.
The Shopping Cart theory says that "there are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart"; yet this is objectively wrong. People regularly abandon their shopping trolleys at the bus station because after having fought their way out of the mall, over the railway station complex, and down to street level at the bus station, they have no way to return their trolley. The kinds of people who do this are already the kinds of people who do not have a motor car, or else they'd have loaded their shopping into their car and then likely have returned their trolley. These people's next mode of transport is the bus; upon which they can not take the shopping trolley.
This is a situation other than a dire emergency in which a person is not able to return their trolley. I feel that there is a level of assumption here which was unable to imagine the kosmos that complexly; which has resulted in an objectively wrong statement. However, abandoning one's trolley at the bus station is still pretty feral as it creates menial make work for people who could be doing something else.
One shopping trolley left abandoned at the bus station is bad. Two shopping trolleys left abandoned at the bus station is feral. Forty-seven trolleys left abandoned at the bus station is a systemic problem.
The point here is that there is a lot of money tied up in the assets of forty-seven trolleys. Having them abandoned and left outside to suffer the elements, only leads to the degradation of these assets and a carrying expense for their repair. I would hope that if I was the comptroller of the supermarket, that I would run an analysis to work out how much it costs to retreive these things before they need repair. Leaving trolleys to rot, is a pointless expense.
One step up the ladder of feralness are the examples of humanity which have made an attempt to return their shopping trolley, albeit a very feeble one. This collection of trolleys has been left near an elevator well in Mount Druitt. The underground car park connected to the shopping centre here, had a dedicated parking space for shopping trolleys; which was signposted with the very un-Australian term "Cart Corral". To be honest, I have no problem with either the term 'shopping trolley' or 'shopping cart', other than to say that 'cart' just doesn't sound proper coming out of the mouths of a non-rhotic speking population like Australia. The term 'corral' though, which makes excellent use of alliteration, invokes images of the Wild West; which does seem strangely appropriate.
The Wild West, the wiki-wiki-wah-wah-Wild-Wild-West, is a mostly fictional imagining of outlaws, cowboys, train robberies, and gunfights at high noon. Meanwhile the the wiki-wiki-wah-wah-Wild-Wild-Westen Suburbs, is a actual land of inlaws, homeboys, petty robberies, and bunfights. Very clearly the rootin-tootin ruffians of County Mounty, couldn't be bothered to walk the 25 or so meters across the car park to the Cart Corral. This was obviously too hard.
This is the corner of Spit Rd and Military Rd, Mosman. At the time of writing, Mosman was the richest suburb in the country in terms of incomes being reported and the 3rd richest suburb in the country in terms of assets being reported by individuals to the ATO. This is not a poor suburb by any stretch of the imagination. This is a suburb where Ferraris, McLarens and Lamborghinis actually are parked on the street. I would be very surprised if any shop front in the suburb, has staff who actually live within the suburb.
Yet even Mosman as a fantastically wealthy suburb still has absolute savages who can not return their shopping trolley. The reason why this is included in my survey in particular is that it demonstrates that wealth is not a determinant of quality of person and that even the richest suburbs in the country, have people who are borderline feral.
Another bus stop; another shopping trolley; another lonely abandoned soul. Okay, shopping trolleys very likely do not have souls but if they did they would cry out that they have been abandoned, forgotten, forlorn, lonely, and alone.
The curious thing about this trolley is that this is next to a bus stop which is on an inbound route to the big shopping centre. I can understand why someone might abandon their trolley after they have done their shopping and then got on the bus but this defies rational explanation. This is a chance for Vizzini from 'The Princess Bride' to exclaim "Inconceivable!" as my wee little mind is unable to conceive of the telos of what has happened here.
Someone has returned a shopping trolley to somewhere? We are a bit over 3 km from the nearest shopping centre; so I do not know how it got out here. Has this been left behind by a ragman and bagman who has decided to move on? I do not understand, nay, I can not understand.
These are two shopping trolleys which two people have decided to decorate the creek with. These two travellers demonstrate why broken windows should be fixed as soon as possible. A broken window is usually given as an example in economics textbooks as a make work exercise which helps to keep people employed. A broken window provides employment for the glazier, which is counted as employement but only exists because the window is broken. What a broken window does is act as a moral signal that feralness is accepted in this area, even if that belief is incorrect.
Our first galaxy brained feral thought that it was an excellent idea to leave one's shopping trolley next to the creek. Due to the Section 2 of the Simian Duplication Act 1837 (Monkey see; monkey do), our second first galaxy brained feral thought that it was an excellent idea to add their shopping trolley and make this some kind of community art project. I have no doubt that in the future that some other feral, who will usually be between the ages of 13-19 and male, will think it even more excellent to do a further gravity experiment and push both of these shopping trolleys into the creek. Feralness breeds more feralness.
How?! I am almost impressed with the effort put in here, to send this trolley on a journey so far from home. I can understand a shopping trolley moving a few hundred metres if several ferals have pushed it along but this one has migrated all of 6.6km from home, as it has decided to make its own way into the world on its own. Its continuing mission is to seek out new and strange lands; to chart unknown paths; to split infinitives and use excessive semi-colons; to boldy go where no shopping trolley has gone before.
It is almost like this shopping trolley which has travelled so very far from home, is crying out that it is cold, lonely, and naked. Its wheels hurt and it is far away from its kith and kin. It has found refuge in a roundabout; hoping desperately to be seen by someone who can take it home. Or else it could be that this has been caused by a new athletic kind of feral; previously unknown by science.
Absolute savages... all of you.
Fair play to you. Well done, you magnificent knave!
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