Horse 3345 - 253: I Know That Was Then But It Could Be Again

For this post I will mostly be referring to engine capacities in Imperial because even though Metric is better, it does not make historical sense to do so here.

I was speaking to a friend of mine at the weekend who had been to the Australian National Motoring Museum and on display were the lasts from the Holden 253 motor. Firstly I found this utterly amazing as the engine had gone out of production before I was born, then secondly I went into quiet silent rage at the fact that Australia was and still is capable of making amazing things; its just that the people with money and power all think that the Australian people are scumbuckets who aren't worthy of doing so. All Australia is good for is selling dirt and extracting rents from. 10th December 2013 will forever be the darkest day in Australian automotive history; for that was the day that Treasurer Joe Hockey yelled at the automakers from the floor of the parliament and within the week they'd all announced that they were leaving (a Merry Christmas to all).

Anyway, the Holden 253... why was it?

General Motors were politely asked by the Australian Government to build cars in Australia after the Second World War because there was always the thought that in the event that there needed to be quick mobilisation, that car factories could be very quickly commandeered into making planes, and trucks, and guns, and cannon. et cetera. General Motors saw Australia as a small bug that could be easily crushed under their thumb and rather than send Australia their biggest and best, they sent Australia a smallish car which became the Holden 48/215.

The thing about Australia is that we've always been a nation which is as mad as a bucket of wet mice thrown into a cement mixer; so giving us anything to play with is always both a bad and a brilliant idea. General Motors found that they were competing with Ford and Chrysler and thus began the stupidest horsepower race in the world. Holden would increase their engine capacities steadily and 179 became 186 and eventually 202 in their six-cylinder line; while Ford's Thiftpower Six would grow from 144 all the way to 250. 

However, in 1964 when Ford released a 289 V8 Falcon, and Chrysler also released V8 versions of their cars, Holden knew that they were in trouble. Detroit always saw Holden as this small bug and so respectfully told Holden where to go but didn't have the decency to provide the petrol to get there. In response and because they knew that Detroit wouldn't be looking, in January 1965 the engineering division embarked on its own covert engine program and didn't tell anyone. Eventually after iteration and counter iteration, two capacities of V8 engine were developed; with 253 V8 to compete against Ford's 250 I-6 and 308 V8 to compete against Ford's Windsor 302 V8. Eventually Holden would also buy in the small-block 350 to Ford's Cleveland 351 V8

Holden's V8 program proved to be better than the equivalent US engines in every single metric. They were light, more powerful, and drank less petrol; which is why we never saw the Chev 305 V8 engine in an Australian production car. 

The 308 and then 304 was always the star of the show as that was the engine which appeared in the Torana and then Commodore which won at Bathurst but the 253 was actually a quietly brilliant if overlooked engine. I think that people forget that in 1969, 185 ponies which was more than what Chevrolet was getting out of its 305 was actually pretty dang nifty.

The entire of the long motor, that is the complete engine assembly from fan to flywheel, including all the leads and hoses, filters and other auxiliaries weighs just 460 pounds. At a compression ratio of 9:1 with a 2-barrel carburettor, I have doubt that the engine could be refitted with a set of modern inlets and fuel injection and put up some very handy numbers indeed. The other thing is that the 253 is just 22 inches wide; which means that it will fit into the engine bay of a Cruze. What I find insane about this is that even though the last 253 was delivered in the late 1970s, the fact that the lasts still exist mean that with some modern tooling, it wouldn't be that hard for a factory to turn them out by December this year. 

Engine blocks are usually created using a method known as 'casting'. Wooden shaping models known as a 'last' are then covered in a clay/sand and then either allowed to dry or bake. The clay outers then become the mould into which molten iron or aluminium is poured into and the whole thing is then water cooled. The outer clay is then broken off and compounded to be used all over again and the engine block then goes through its final finishing and dressing before it is ready to accept other engine components. 

Now weirdly as I have found out, the lasts for various iterations of the Holden 308 and 304 motor still exist; as do the lasts for the Red/Black 202 motor. What I didn't realise is that the lasts for the 253 motor also still exist. This means that in addition to the lasts for the Family II, as well as Ford's Thriftpower Six (eventually in its Barra type) and Ford's Windsor 302G derivative; that most of the engine lasts for engines in widescale production still exist.

What this actually means is that if someone could actually wrangle the Intellectual Property away from both General Motors and Ford Motor Co, who to be honest have both badly betrayed the people of Australia, that there is still the latent ability to produce reproductions of some of the most venerable engines in Australian automotive history. Moreover as the continued existence of the Thriftpower Six proved, just because an engine was old did not mean that it could not be improved to meet modern standards. 

The only real downside to the 253 becomes obvious when you see one in-situ in a Torana:

Anyone who has spun a spanner on a V8 Torrie knows that changing the rear spark plugs on the V8 is like playing Twister. Spin the spinner and call the shot - Twister ties you up in a knot. So it is with the 253 and the 308 in a Torana. In a Kingswood or Commodore (yes, there were 253 VB and VCs) you have space to play with but not in a Torana.

If I get to be ludicrously wealthy, then I do not want a new car but a new car company. I would buy J300 Cruze under licence and I would see if I could wrangle the IP to develop the 253 into a modern engine. General Motors betrayed and abandoned us; that still hurts. Unlike the people with money and power, I believe that Australia was and still is capable of making amazing things; really stupid mice thrown into a cement mixer things.