France 4 - Croatia 2
Mandžukić (o.g.) 18'
Perišić 28'
Greizmann (pen) 38'
Pogba 59'
Mbeppe 65'
Mandžukić 68'
The World Cup final in Moscow was held on an afternoon which threatened to bring thunder and lightning. The truth is that I can not recall even a single World Cup match where it has rained. They must exist, surely? As the mercury peeked into the 30s in the Russian summer, from my vantage point on the couch in our parlour in Sydney, it shrugged its shoulders and walked away after thinking that positive Celsius was too hard. So as I sat on the couch, not buried under the blanket because the cat was already on it and moving her would be cruel, I was very much envious of the 22 players, green grass and the football on the television screen.
The final started tentatively for France but nobody had told Croatia that they needed to be cautious. Modric was there or there about for much of the opening passage of play and it wasn't until the quarter hour mark that France even managed put the ball in Croatia's half. When they did, Croatia kinds of panicked and Borozovic brought down Greizmamn to award France their first scoring opportunity of the game.
Greizmann's free kick lifted into a giant rabble of players and miraculously found its way into the goal, defeating the Croatian goalkeeper. Upon the replay, it was only then that the world saw that the ball had taken a deflection off Mandzukic's head and in was totted up as an own goal to him.
From here the match threatened to fall into indiscipline and Croatia were lucky to escape without any cards of any colour as they proceeded to undertake a policy of unnecessary slide tackles. One of their charges forward saw Croatia to only win the ball but meant that they were suddenly on the counter attack.
A ball was delivered to the right hand side of the box, where it was lifted and then Vrsalijk headed the ball back to the edge of the area, wherein Perisic took a shot right through the centre of the crowd and his unsighted shot was rewarded with a goal.
At 1-1 the match opened up and both sides stole the ball off each other and neither of them could control the centre of the field. For about ten minutes play passed back and forth and then this World Cup Final gave us our obligatory moment of controversy to be talked about through the ages.
France had won a fairly routine corner and has the ball swung into the box, it dipped and crossed the by line after it hit Perisic's hand. Originally the referee appeared to do nothing but listened to the calls from the French players for a penalty and referred it to the VAR. Now the way that I interpret the laws are that there has to be a movement of hand to ball rather than ball to hand, and if the VAR is called for, it is there to confirm or deny a suspicion that the referee had. Now I have no idea if the referee saw the incident and decided if it was an infringement that needed confirming or if he saw nothing and the VAR opened up something that he had never seen before.
He took forever to point to the spot and Griezmann took almost no effort in drilling the penalty shot past the goalkeeper's right.
France went into the break at one goal up, which may or may not have been deserved, but they came out in the second half with the intent to kill the game off. They got their desire just before the hour when Paul Pogba got one shot into a crowded 18 yard box and after bouncing back, he took a second shot which he certainly did not waste.
France went off to confirm their intent to utterly destroy all of Croatia's hopes when in the 65th minute, Mbappe somehow got a very fast shot that skidded across the field to sneak past the Croatian goalkeeper and score France's fourth. It was shot from just beyond the top of the half ring of the 18 yard box, and I think that it was probably from about 27 yards away.
At 4-1 up, France thought that the match was dead, cremated and buried but Croatia who were still playing like the World Cup depended on it kept hope alive.
On a push forward, Umtiti passed the ball back to the goalkeeper Lloris and either nobody told him that there was anyone there or he was just too casual with the ball but Lloris looked up and saw Mandzukic in front of him. Lloris rolled the ball to his left and that was enough for Mandzukic to steal the ball and score a very cheeky goal from only a few yards away.
There then came twenty tense minutes where Croatia moved forward but tired legs prevented them from being effective and creating any real chances, and France were content to absorb and diffuse anything coming forwards. It was as if the first fifteen minutes had been cut and pasted on the end but played at a slower speed.
I have to admit that this was possibly the most engaging and lovely World Cup that I have ever seen and a lot of that has to do with a shifting in world power. Germany would fall to the champion's curse, Argentina self imploded, Brazil were stunned that they could be beaten so easily, England surprised everyone by actually being good for a change, Italy, the Netherlands, and the United States stunned everyone by not being good enough to qualify. The only howler of a result was Saudi Arabia who were thumped 5-0 by Russia and although Englands 6-1 defeat of Peru was comprehensive, Peru didn't look terrible while they were on the end of a hiding.
Amazingly, this World Cup which was held in Russia hasn't really been plagued by the underlying tensions which have been brewing since the hosts were announced. Everyone seems to have forgotten about the annexation of Crimea or the meddling in international affairs which have installed a polezni durak in the White House. The poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia, have been unremarked on much either.
Football for the last 33 days has been so much bigger and better than grown up things like love, death, war, espionage, or at very least has been a distraction from those things; even in a country which has a dubious record.
The last time that a Frenchman entered Moscow to steal the silverware, Napoleon left after the city had been set on fire and his army was in total disarray. This time Didier Deschamps' side leave with le Coupe du Monde and France can add a second star above their chicken on their kit.
Showing posts with label WorldCup2018. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WorldCup2018. Show all posts
July 15, 2018
Horse 2442 - Belgium Wins The Match That Nobody Wants To Be In
Belgium 2 - England 0
Meunier 4'
Hazard 82'
The Third Place Playoff is the game that nobody wants to play in, and nobody is really quite sure why it exists other than to sell advertising space and extra tickets. This is the only match in the whole tournament which actually manages have less prestige than an Olympic football fixture and that's saying something. Nevertheless, the sides that make it here still generally try, if for no other reason than nobody likes to lose.
From the kickoff, Belgium looked like they wanted to be there and if England did, they certainly did not want to be there after just four minutes.
England had been pressing forward for short period, if only half-heartedly, which left them seriously exposed at the back. A very deep ball was sent over the center of midfield and Lukaku was able to bring it down and send a lovely short pass to Meunier who only needed one touch to blast it into the goal.
England responded with glacial pace and it took an entire eight minutes for them to get the ball back to Belgium's 18 yard box, and until Trippier swung in a ball which Loftus-Cheek headed wide of the goal. Five minutes later, Sterling released Kane who should have been looking to add to his personal tally in chasing the tournament's Golden Boot but from 17 yards away, the best and last that he did.
I'd like to say that something else of significance happened in the first half but it really didn't. This match was played at even less intensity than the first time that these two sides met in the group stage match.
The second half wasn't a whole lot better except that England kind of remembered that they were playing an international match at the World Cup and sort of tried. Trippier made a run deep into the corner and sent a ball inwards that would have meant that Kane would have scored his seventh of the tournament, but Kane at full stretch didn't manage to put a foot on the ball and the chance inside the six yard box went begging.
After another period on the counter attack, Dier layed off to Rashford who sent it back to him, and he was unmarked in front of goal but the shot was cleared off the line by Bel 2. That was emblematic of England's entire tournament. They could very easily get to the opposition's 18 yard box and then subsequently have no idea about how to get the ball around the defence.
Belgium on the other hand, knew exactly what to do and how to go about doing it. With England showing extreme impotence in front of their defence, Belgium would sit back and then explode forward. In the 79th minute, they took just seven touches to take the ball from their own six yard box to Meunier winning a corner at the other end of the field.
The final nail in the coffin of England's campaign came in the 82nd minute when Eden Hazard saw the English defence part like the red sea and not even the heroics of Jordan Pickford was enough to stop him. Hazard's finish was direct and clinical and even though England won a free kick late into the match, they wouldn't come close to troubling Belgium's goal.
Of these two sides, Belgium must surely feel the most hard done by. Had they lost against England in the group stage, they would have passed down that side of the draw and would have found Croatia to be an easier opponent. The still would have met France in the final but at least it would have been in the final. Third place is Belgium's best ever result in any tournament but somehow it still doesn't seem like enough.
England on the other hand have just had the most successful campaign in 28 years and to make it to a semi final after so many years of false dawns and so called "golden generations" that have turned out to be alfoil, is itself remarkable. England should have crashed and burned well before now and I'm surprised that it took as long as it did for the universe to right itself and for England and to remember that it is England and therefore rubbish at football.
The next major tournament for both of these sides is the European Championships in 2020, which will be as close to having the tournament in England without officially doing so because if they can escape the group stage and the Quarter Finals, then the remaining matches will be at Wembley. Euro 2020 officially isn't being hosted in one country but all of them, but this still means that the tournament has to be held somewhere.
I think that the only remaining question of Russia 2018 will be not whether or not France does beat Croatia but by how much. I expect that the engraver is already practicing writing the word "France" to go onto the trophy as we speak.
Meunier 4'
Hazard 82'
The Third Place Playoff is the game that nobody wants to play in, and nobody is really quite sure why it exists other than to sell advertising space and extra tickets. This is the only match in the whole tournament which actually manages have less prestige than an Olympic football fixture and that's saying something. Nevertheless, the sides that make it here still generally try, if for no other reason than nobody likes to lose.
From the kickoff, Belgium looked like they wanted to be there and if England did, they certainly did not want to be there after just four minutes.
England had been pressing forward for short period, if only half-heartedly, which left them seriously exposed at the back. A very deep ball was sent over the center of midfield and Lukaku was able to bring it down and send a lovely short pass to Meunier who only needed one touch to blast it into the goal.
England responded with glacial pace and it took an entire eight minutes for them to get the ball back to Belgium's 18 yard box, and until Trippier swung in a ball which Loftus-Cheek headed wide of the goal. Five minutes later, Sterling released Kane who should have been looking to add to his personal tally in chasing the tournament's Golden Boot but from 17 yards away, the best and last that he did.
I'd like to say that something else of significance happened in the first half but it really didn't. This match was played at even less intensity than the first time that these two sides met in the group stage match.
The second half wasn't a whole lot better except that England kind of remembered that they were playing an international match at the World Cup and sort of tried. Trippier made a run deep into the corner and sent a ball inwards that would have meant that Kane would have scored his seventh of the tournament, but Kane at full stretch didn't manage to put a foot on the ball and the chance inside the six yard box went begging.
After another period on the counter attack, Dier layed off to Rashford who sent it back to him, and he was unmarked in front of goal but the shot was cleared off the line by Bel 2. That was emblematic of England's entire tournament. They could very easily get to the opposition's 18 yard box and then subsequently have no idea about how to get the ball around the defence.
Belgium on the other hand, knew exactly what to do and how to go about doing it. With England showing extreme impotence in front of their defence, Belgium would sit back and then explode forward. In the 79th minute, they took just seven touches to take the ball from their own six yard box to Meunier winning a corner at the other end of the field.
The final nail in the coffin of England's campaign came in the 82nd minute when Eden Hazard saw the English defence part like the red sea and not even the heroics of Jordan Pickford was enough to stop him. Hazard's finish was direct and clinical and even though England won a free kick late into the match, they wouldn't come close to troubling Belgium's goal.
Of these two sides, Belgium must surely feel the most hard done by. Had they lost against England in the group stage, they would have passed down that side of the draw and would have found Croatia to be an easier opponent. The still would have met France in the final but at least it would have been in the final. Third place is Belgium's best ever result in any tournament but somehow it still doesn't seem like enough.
England on the other hand have just had the most successful campaign in 28 years and to make it to a semi final after so many years of false dawns and so called "golden generations" that have turned out to be alfoil, is itself remarkable. England should have crashed and burned well before now and I'm surprised that it took as long as it did for the universe to right itself and for England and to remember that it is England and therefore rubbish at football.
The next major tournament for both of these sides is the European Championships in 2020, which will be as close to having the tournament in England without officially doing so because if they can escape the group stage and the Quarter Finals, then the remaining matches will be at Wembley. Euro 2020 officially isn't being hosted in one country but all of them, but this still means that the tournament has to be held somewhere.
I think that the only remaining question of Russia 2018 will be not whether or not France does beat Croatia but by how much. I expect that the engraver is already practicing writing the word "France" to go onto the trophy as we speak.
July 12, 2018
Horse 2440 - Hope Is The Dead Thing With Feathers
Croatia 2 - England 1
Tripper 5'
Perisic 68'
Mandzukic 109'
I have been on not quite forty tours around the sun and in that time England has appeared in two World Cup Semi Finals and lost both of them. For most of this England side, they weren't even alive the last time that England last appeared in one and what makes this all the more sad is that the last time that England was in a Final was more than half a century ago.
I'm beginning to think that the distance between England winning World Cups is measured in Halleys, which ya unit of time based upon the time it takes for that cold and dead piece of ice to do its own tour of the sun. If this is indeed the metric, then England should expensive to win the World Cup in 2042.
As for now? We've been disappointed yet again.
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.
- Emily Dickinson (254)
Emily Dickinson was obviously never a football fan; furthermore she was never an England fan because she would have known that if Hope is the thing with feathers, then its like a canary down a pit, and will be one of the first things to die before everyone is killed when the oxygen runs out.
Hope came and perched in the soul after just five minutes when a fairly innocuous challenge brought down Sterling just outside the Croatian box. Both Young and Trippier stood up to the ball but Trippier was the one whose pinpoint delivery found nothing but the top corner of the goal. It lifted over the top of the two tallest players in the Croatian wall, it curled as though it had some kind of internal guidance system, and it dipped ever so deftly.
At one-nil up England looked like they were going to tear Croatia to pieces but nobody bothered to tell Croatia and they immediately sought to correct the mistake in the universe. When they won a corner after eleven minutes, it was all that England could do to scramble it out and on no steps at all Jordan Pickford launched a clearance from his own six yard box and found his opposite number at the other end of the field.
The match turned into something of a street fight and England could have doubled the lead when Sterling's deft pass to Harry Kane was somehow wasted from less than six yards away. Croatia almost equalised on the counter attack when the clearance found Modric who sent it to Rebic; who beat the back pair but couldn't get Pickford.
Ten minutes before the break, Kane went for a run and janked it to Dele Alli who took too many touches and so was forced to offload it to Lingard whose shot was wide. From here Croatia shut the gate and England were stranded outside the 18 yard box for extended periods. Although there was attempts from both Sterling and Young, there was no way that anyone was going to score from outside the area tonight and the half time break saw England nursing a one goal lead which is never enough except when the final whistle goes.
Croatia came back after the break with a greater sense of purpose and at the 64th minute, Rakitic's shot troubled Pickford. Three minutes later though, while Croatia was still brimming with confidence, Vrsaljko lifted a ball over the back three of England and Perisic duly found the equaliser.
England were stunned by this and very nearly went behind in rapid fashion when Perisic again troubled Pickford but the shot struck the upright and Sterling was the one who had to clear the ball.
Twenty minutes of chaos became fifteen minutes of worry, ten minutes of anxiety and finally five minutes of mind numbing boredom. At 1-1 at full time, England must've thought that they could kill the game off in extra time and very nearly did so when after winning a corner, Trippier's ball in was met with Stones' head and then disappointment as it scuffed the top side of the crossbar.
Half time of extra time looked like a formality but just three minutes after the third break in play, Mandzukic became the hero of Croatia when a ball was played in behind a compressed England back five and he was able to sneak away what would ultimately be the winner.
England's last roll of the dice came up snake eyes after a short period of play when Modric was prepared to play actual fisticuffs just to waste time and Maguire was hacked down in a challenge which also served no real purpose than to waste time. It worked beautifully as Ashley Young's free kick didn't even find an England head and as the final whistle blew it yet again became obvious as to what an England fan's job is: to be perpetually and horrendously disappointed in new and unique ways.
There is an old cat proverb which says that "if you want to eat fish, you should expect bones". There should be a three lion proverb which says that "if you want to talk garbage, you should expect pain". Even the song "Three Lions" by Skinner, Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds, which has been ringing out in Russia which contains the line "Football's coming home" also contains the lines:
Everyone seems to know the score,
They’ve seen it all before
They just know, they’re so sure
That England’s gonna throw it away, gonna blow it away
Today, they did precisely that... again... and it won't be the last time either. Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and then is snuffed out yet again, when England concedes a goal.
Tripper 5'
Perisic 68'
Mandzukic 109'
I have been on not quite forty tours around the sun and in that time England has appeared in two World Cup Semi Finals and lost both of them. For most of this England side, they weren't even alive the last time that England last appeared in one and what makes this all the more sad is that the last time that England was in a Final was more than half a century ago.
I'm beginning to think that the distance between England winning World Cups is measured in Halleys, which ya unit of time based upon the time it takes for that cold and dead piece of ice to do its own tour of the sun. If this is indeed the metric, then England should expensive to win the World Cup in 2042.
As for now? We've been disappointed yet again.
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.
- Emily Dickinson (254)
Emily Dickinson was obviously never a football fan; furthermore she was never an England fan because she would have known that if Hope is the thing with feathers, then its like a canary down a pit, and will be one of the first things to die before everyone is killed when the oxygen runs out.
Hope came and perched in the soul after just five minutes when a fairly innocuous challenge brought down Sterling just outside the Croatian box. Both Young and Trippier stood up to the ball but Trippier was the one whose pinpoint delivery found nothing but the top corner of the goal. It lifted over the top of the two tallest players in the Croatian wall, it curled as though it had some kind of internal guidance system, and it dipped ever so deftly.
At one-nil up England looked like they were going to tear Croatia to pieces but nobody bothered to tell Croatia and they immediately sought to correct the mistake in the universe. When they won a corner after eleven minutes, it was all that England could do to scramble it out and on no steps at all Jordan Pickford launched a clearance from his own six yard box and found his opposite number at the other end of the field.
The match turned into something of a street fight and England could have doubled the lead when Sterling's deft pass to Harry Kane was somehow wasted from less than six yards away. Croatia almost equalised on the counter attack when the clearance found Modric who sent it to Rebic; who beat the back pair but couldn't get Pickford.
Ten minutes before the break, Kane went for a run and janked it to Dele Alli who took too many touches and so was forced to offload it to Lingard whose shot was wide. From here Croatia shut the gate and England were stranded outside the 18 yard box for extended periods. Although there was attempts from both Sterling and Young, there was no way that anyone was going to score from outside the area tonight and the half time break saw England nursing a one goal lead which is never enough except when the final whistle goes.
Croatia came back after the break with a greater sense of purpose and at the 64th minute, Rakitic's shot troubled Pickford. Three minutes later though, while Croatia was still brimming with confidence, Vrsaljko lifted a ball over the back three of England and Perisic duly found the equaliser.
England were stunned by this and very nearly went behind in rapid fashion when Perisic again troubled Pickford but the shot struck the upright and Sterling was the one who had to clear the ball.
Twenty minutes of chaos became fifteen minutes of worry, ten minutes of anxiety and finally five minutes of mind numbing boredom. At 1-1 at full time, England must've thought that they could kill the game off in extra time and very nearly did so when after winning a corner, Trippier's ball in was met with Stones' head and then disappointment as it scuffed the top side of the crossbar.
Half time of extra time looked like a formality but just three minutes after the third break in play, Mandzukic became the hero of Croatia when a ball was played in behind a compressed England back five and he was able to sneak away what would ultimately be the winner.
England's last roll of the dice came up snake eyes after a short period of play when Modric was prepared to play actual fisticuffs just to waste time and Maguire was hacked down in a challenge which also served no real purpose than to waste time. It worked beautifully as Ashley Young's free kick didn't even find an England head and as the final whistle blew it yet again became obvious as to what an England fan's job is: to be perpetually and horrendously disappointed in new and unique ways.
There is an old cat proverb which says that "if you want to eat fish, you should expect bones". There should be a three lion proverb which says that "if you want to talk garbage, you should expect pain". Even the song "Three Lions" by Skinner, Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds, which has been ringing out in Russia which contains the line "Football's coming home" also contains the lines:
Everyone seems to know the score,
They’ve seen it all before
They just know, they’re so sure
That England’s gonna throw it away, gonna blow it away
Today, they did precisely that... again... and it won't be the last time either. Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and then is snuffed out yet again, when England concedes a goal.
July 11, 2018
Horse 2439 - France: Coq-A-Hoop
France 1 - Belgium 0
Umtiti 50'
I was asked before this match about who I thought would win. I'd already reached the conclusion well beforehand that because both Belgium and France had stores of talent right through their squads, that this match was too close to predict. What we saw was the expression of that sentiment writ large as both sides being full of titans and giants, cancelled each other out and just appeared to be normal sized. This match was always going to swing on the smallest of margins, to the point where even the one percenters were still too broad.
To say that this match was played hesitantly would be an understatement. Both France and Belgium knew that the jaws of defeat were wide open and should they be chewed up and swallowed, there was a throat like a black hole immediately behind them. Victory would send them to the World Cup Final and defeat would mean that one of these golden generations, could only hope for bronze at best.
Belgium sat just inside France's half in the opening period of play but even then, they could find any penetration into the box. Anything that was sent forward was immediately rejected like a baby refusing to eat carrot. A glimmer of hope came twelve minutes in when Hazard finally did manage to play a ball into the area and from about 13 yards from the goal line but jammed right to the edge of the 18 yard box, he fired a warning shot across the French keeper Lloris but it was to no avail.
France pumped the ball forward after the goal kick and for a brief period, they unlocked some sort of crazy-go-nuts party mode but when Matuidi blasted a rocket of a shot from 22 yards out, not only did he beat all defenders and the Belgian goalkeeper but he also beat the laws of physics and space and time, when the shot dipped and then curled upwards. I have no idea of what kind of Laminar Flow or Bernoulli Effects were on display but it should be a lesson for a first year university course, even though it failed at being a useful strike.
The match returned to its regular state of mutual tension and although both sides showed technical excellence, they also showed attacking impotence and it wasn't until the half hour that anything of import developed. Pavard made a break on a counter attack and found himself relatively unchallenged in Belgium's half. Although he was impeded by a defender, he found support and gave the deftest of touch passes to Giroud who was fouled and won a free kick.
They would again feature in the passage of play from the dead ball, when the free kick was sent about five yards to Pavard, who then lofted it into the box and found Giroud's head but that also wafted past the post.
Again the match returned to the tense deadlock and to be honest, I think that both sides appreciated the half time break as a break in concentration meant that they could divert their minds from the ominous scoreline of nil-nil. It was as though the World Cup was made of porcelain and they didn't want to drop it, for fear of having their dreams shattered before their eyes.
After the break though, the deadlock would be shattered when after a period of French pressing, they unexpectedly won a corner. Griezmann's delivery to the centre of the six yard box was more hopeful than good but Umtiti realising that this might be his only chance to do anything useful, turned the ball goalwards and suddenly France was coq-a-hoop.
At this point you would expect Belgium to find an extra gear but as they'd already been flat out for fifty minutes, there wasn't anything else that they could find. Fellaini spewed a shot which curled away from the goal in the 66th minute, De Bruyne tried his luck four minutes later, and Paul Pogba went on a run in the 78th minute but couldn't double France's slender lead.
Belgium's last real hope came when the devil's number 87 was showing on the clock when a De Bruyne free kick was masterfully sent into the six yard box but Eden Hazard's head had already moved forward. If this is a game of inches, then the number of inches that Belgium missed the opportunity to play in a World Cup Final was about four.
France was able to successfully run down the six minutes of added time by donkeying the ball deep into Belgium's corners and then playing equally donkeying short corners that barely left the corner circle. This was one of those cases where one goal was enough because the rest of the match had been one where both sides had been operating at close to 100% of their ability for the entire ninety-six minutes.
At this point you have to assume that France are the favourites to win the final. The gates of Bel did not prevail before the army of Gaul and I just don't think that either Croatia or England will be able to find a way through the French midfield much less their defence, unless they find something truly special. If football isn't coming home to England, then it had better start making bookings for a hotel on the Champs De Elysées because it will be up to its eyeballs in Pernod and smoking a Gitanes wrapped inside a Gauloises; the day after Bastille Day.
Umtiti 50'
I was asked before this match about who I thought would win. I'd already reached the conclusion well beforehand that because both Belgium and France had stores of talent right through their squads, that this match was too close to predict. What we saw was the expression of that sentiment writ large as both sides being full of titans and giants, cancelled each other out and just appeared to be normal sized. This match was always going to swing on the smallest of margins, to the point where even the one percenters were still too broad.
To say that this match was played hesitantly would be an understatement. Both France and Belgium knew that the jaws of defeat were wide open and should they be chewed up and swallowed, there was a throat like a black hole immediately behind them. Victory would send them to the World Cup Final and defeat would mean that one of these golden generations, could only hope for bronze at best.
Belgium sat just inside France's half in the opening period of play but even then, they could find any penetration into the box. Anything that was sent forward was immediately rejected like a baby refusing to eat carrot. A glimmer of hope came twelve minutes in when Hazard finally did manage to play a ball into the area and from about 13 yards from the goal line but jammed right to the edge of the 18 yard box, he fired a warning shot across the French keeper Lloris but it was to no avail.
France pumped the ball forward after the goal kick and for a brief period, they unlocked some sort of crazy-go-nuts party mode but when Matuidi blasted a rocket of a shot from 22 yards out, not only did he beat all defenders and the Belgian goalkeeper but he also beat the laws of physics and space and time, when the shot dipped and then curled upwards. I have no idea of what kind of Laminar Flow or Bernoulli Effects were on display but it should be a lesson for a first year university course, even though it failed at being a useful strike.
The match returned to its regular state of mutual tension and although both sides showed technical excellence, they also showed attacking impotence and it wasn't until the half hour that anything of import developed. Pavard made a break on a counter attack and found himself relatively unchallenged in Belgium's half. Although he was impeded by a defender, he found support and gave the deftest of touch passes to Giroud who was fouled and won a free kick.
They would again feature in the passage of play from the dead ball, when the free kick was sent about five yards to Pavard, who then lofted it into the box and found Giroud's head but that also wafted past the post.
Again the match returned to the tense deadlock and to be honest, I think that both sides appreciated the half time break as a break in concentration meant that they could divert their minds from the ominous scoreline of nil-nil. It was as though the World Cup was made of porcelain and they didn't want to drop it, for fear of having their dreams shattered before their eyes.
After the break though, the deadlock would be shattered when after a period of French pressing, they unexpectedly won a corner. Griezmann's delivery to the centre of the six yard box was more hopeful than good but Umtiti realising that this might be his only chance to do anything useful, turned the ball goalwards and suddenly France was coq-a-hoop.
At this point you would expect Belgium to find an extra gear but as they'd already been flat out for fifty minutes, there wasn't anything else that they could find. Fellaini spewed a shot which curled away from the goal in the 66th minute, De Bruyne tried his luck four minutes later, and Paul Pogba went on a run in the 78th minute but couldn't double France's slender lead.
Belgium's last real hope came when the devil's number 87 was showing on the clock when a De Bruyne free kick was masterfully sent into the six yard box but Eden Hazard's head had already moved forward. If this is a game of inches, then the number of inches that Belgium missed the opportunity to play in a World Cup Final was about four.
France was able to successfully run down the six minutes of added time by donkeying the ball deep into Belgium's corners and then playing equally donkeying short corners that barely left the corner circle. This was one of those cases where one goal was enough because the rest of the match had been one where both sides had been operating at close to 100% of their ability for the entire ninety-six minutes.
At this point you have to assume that France are the favourites to win the final. The gates of Bel did not prevail before the army of Gaul and I just don't think that either Croatia or England will be able to find a way through the French midfield much less their defence, unless they find something truly special. If football isn't coming home to England, then it had better start making bookings for a hotel on the Champs De Elysées because it will be up to its eyeballs in Pernod and smoking a Gitanes wrapped inside a Gauloises; the day after Bastille Day.
July 09, 2018
Horse 2438 - Futbolskömmånhjöme.
Sweden 0 - England 2
Maguire 29'
Alli 58'
This sounds almost ridiculous to say as an England fan but just three hours of football now separates England from becoming champions of the world. Germany? Knocked out in the group stage. Brazil? Knocked out in the quarter finals. Italy? Never even qualified for the tournament. Yet here we are with England having posted a two-nil win against Sweden in a quarter final.
This match started out timidly as both sides kind of stared each other out like a couple of prize fighters before the first punch was thrown. England were able to press slightly higher on Sweden as England's 3-5-2 held more of an advantage in the midfield than Sweden's 4-4-2; which for probably forty years was almost like the DNA of English football. So much so that FourFourTwo magazine is the name of the highest selling football magazine in Britain.
The first parry came at twelve minutes in, when Klaerson's shot from 22 yards came like a rocket but was fired high and to the left of the goal, which didn't trouble Jordan Pickford at all.
Six minutes later after England walked the ball up at an agonizingly slow pace, Raheem Sterling broke into a sprint, dinked the ball to his inside left and past a defender but Kane's shot was a worm burner that took a deflection off of the Swedish keeper Olsen. This resulted in a corner from the left which was delivered by Ashley Young and instead of Harry Kane, it was another Harry, Harry Maguire who headed the ball downward and forcefully into the goal.
Sweden went immediately on the counter but the match soon devolved into a series of parrys and counter parrys that neutralised each other and apart from Sweden winning two late corners, the English defence was solid.
The second half continued in the same vein as the first but England managed to press Sweden further and further back to their own goal line until Sweden eventually conceded a corner. Tripper's ball from the right swung towards the centre of the D and bounced off of Lingard before Dele Alli cleaned up and put the ball over the line.
At this point the match was nominally safe for England but Sweden would not go down quietly. Just three minutes later and just beyond the hour mark, Klaasen evaded Henderson and had only Jordan Pickford to beat but Pickford threw out a fist and not only cleared the shot but sent it forward and didn't even concede a corner.
Berg's shot ten minutes later from just outside the 18 yard box was saved with equal skill but by that stage, Sweden were growing tired and they had nothing left to give. As the match dribbled out to its conclusion with a predictable inevitability, time seemed to grind to a halt for me. It wasn't until the final whistle that I was finally able to return to the land of regular time.
England have made it to a semifinal in only the third time in a World Cup. One of those resulted in making it to the final and total victory against West Germany and the other came to ruin against a newly reunited Germany. England will face Croatia in the semifinal while the other side of the draw has France up against Belgium. I fully expect a France v England final but this tournament has frequently given us the unexpected and so the default position of being disappointed with yet another England failure seems entirely appropriate to me. The only time that I will feel that England can win the World Cup is if they are up by five goals in the final and in extra time.
I have to say though, that making it to a semifinal does make me happy. If you expect the world and don't get it then you will be perpetually disappointed; however if you expect the worst (which given England's fifty-two years of missed opportunities, donkey strikers, goalkeepers who have howlers, referees which can be counted on to be corrupt to the eyeballs, and England remembering that they are England and being rubbish at sport) then when anything remotely positive happens, you can be pleasantly surprised.
Maguire 29'
Alli 58'
This sounds almost ridiculous to say as an England fan but just three hours of football now separates England from becoming champions of the world. Germany? Knocked out in the group stage. Brazil? Knocked out in the quarter finals. Italy? Never even qualified for the tournament. Yet here we are with England having posted a two-nil win against Sweden in a quarter final.
This match started out timidly as both sides kind of stared each other out like a couple of prize fighters before the first punch was thrown. England were able to press slightly higher on Sweden as England's 3-5-2 held more of an advantage in the midfield than Sweden's 4-4-2; which for probably forty years was almost like the DNA of English football. So much so that FourFourTwo magazine is the name of the highest selling football magazine in Britain.
The first parry came at twelve minutes in, when Klaerson's shot from 22 yards came like a rocket but was fired high and to the left of the goal, which didn't trouble Jordan Pickford at all.
Six minutes later after England walked the ball up at an agonizingly slow pace, Raheem Sterling broke into a sprint, dinked the ball to his inside left and past a defender but Kane's shot was a worm burner that took a deflection off of the Swedish keeper Olsen. This resulted in a corner from the left which was delivered by Ashley Young and instead of Harry Kane, it was another Harry, Harry Maguire who headed the ball downward and forcefully into the goal.
Sweden went immediately on the counter but the match soon devolved into a series of parrys and counter parrys that neutralised each other and apart from Sweden winning two late corners, the English defence was solid.
The second half continued in the same vein as the first but England managed to press Sweden further and further back to their own goal line until Sweden eventually conceded a corner. Tripper's ball from the right swung towards the centre of the D and bounced off of Lingard before Dele Alli cleaned up and put the ball over the line.
At this point the match was nominally safe for England but Sweden would not go down quietly. Just three minutes later and just beyond the hour mark, Klaasen evaded Henderson and had only Jordan Pickford to beat but Pickford threw out a fist and not only cleared the shot but sent it forward and didn't even concede a corner.
Berg's shot ten minutes later from just outside the 18 yard box was saved with equal skill but by that stage, Sweden were growing tired and they had nothing left to give. As the match dribbled out to its conclusion with a predictable inevitability, time seemed to grind to a halt for me. It wasn't until the final whistle that I was finally able to return to the land of regular time.
England have made it to a semifinal in only the third time in a World Cup. One of those resulted in making it to the final and total victory against West Germany and the other came to ruin against a newly reunited Germany. England will face Croatia in the semifinal while the other side of the draw has France up against Belgium. I fully expect a France v England final but this tournament has frequently given us the unexpected and so the default position of being disappointed with yet another England failure seems entirely appropriate to me. The only time that I will feel that England can win the World Cup is if they are up by five goals in the final and in extra time.
I have to say though, that making it to a semifinal does make me happy. If you expect the world and don't get it then you will be perpetually disappointed; however if you expect the worst (which given England's fifty-two years of missed opportunities, donkey strikers, goalkeepers who have howlers, referees which can be counted on to be corrupt to the eyeballs, and England remembering that they are England and being rubbish at sport) then when anything remotely positive happens, you can be pleasantly surprised.
July 04, 2018
Horse 2435 - 4th Of July And The Red Coats Win!
Colombia 1 - England 1 (aet)
Kane 56' (pen)
Mina 92'
Penalties
3-4
This 4th of July, I am celebrating the victory of the red coats over an American army. Okay, so it's a different set of red coats and it's a South American army of eleven Colombians but nevertheless, a victory is still a victory; even if it is done in an ugly ugly fashion.
Colombia started this match with absolutely zero fear of England. As far as they were concerned, this would be a routine ninety minutes and thence a trip to the booking office for an appointment with Sweden in the next round. England on the other hand, were carrying a relatively fresher side, which also included the so far Golden Boot of the tournament.
Almost from the opening whistle, this match degenerated into a chaotic and undisciplined mess.
In the fourth minute, after a passage of pressure by England, Mira handballed outside the area and then decided that he wanted to have an argument with the referee. When Young stood up and delivered the free kick to an undefined location that wasn't remotely near the goal, it was already apparent as to what kind of match this would be.
At the quarter hour mark, Trippier crossed inwards to the head of Harry Kane who came perilously close to opening the scoring but somehow managed to put the ball over the bar from three yards away. Seven minutes later, Curduardo joined the party by unilaterally declaring that Colombia needed a space program and the first thing to be put into orbit would be an Adidas Telstar '18.
The match kind of cooled down a bit with neither side really establishing any kind of dominance and the only real highlight before the half was four minutes from the break when Kane was brought down outside the area and Trippier sent the free kick to nowhere in particular. Unable to break the deadlock, both sides must have gone into the dressing sheds at half time thinking that if they could only score once, that that might be enough.
Five minutes into the second half and Arias elbowed Kane in the head, and then protested long and loudly about the fact. This must have enraged Sanchez because two minutes later, he hugged Kane and threw him to the ground. He might have got away with it too, had it not for him being directly in front of the referee when it happened and then for four whole minutes, we kind of had a shouty conference between at least half of the Colombian side and the referee.
They needed have bothered as Kane converted the penalty into a goal by driving it straight down the middle and over the keeper.
From here, neither side looked threatening except for a scare when Kane and Tripper lost the ball deep into the corner of the Colombian end of the pitch and a clearance and then almost 90 yard run by Curduado was only foiled by his own virus immense ineptitude. Pickford made himself look big and that was enough to throw out Curduado's radar.
It probably should have ended 0-1 to England except that Columbia pressed late into the match and won a reprieve when a Falcao corner found Mina's head, who bent the ball in front of Pickford to equalise in the 92nd minute.
An extra half hour is almost always a test of who can keep their nerve for the longest period of time and as cramp was beginning to set in, in players of both sides, if there was going to be any scoring, it was wilted out in the heat. Bacca missed in the 100th minute. Falcao missed at 103 minutes. Henderson made a run and dinked the ball left to Rose, whose 112th minute strike also missed.
This war of attrition would end after two hours in inglorious fashion and England won 4-3:
OOOXX
OOXOO
The only redeeming feature of this idiotic thing is that for the first time ever, England have won a penalty shootout in a major tournament. Ten kicks is hardly a way to resolve a football match but it does mean that the England manager Gareth Southgate, will get to forget his own penalty miss at Euro '96. It also means that he will continue to rack up late fees for the rental of his waistcoat because I'm sure that as the England manager and indeed every England fan, never really expects to go this far into any tournament.
England now stand just three tantalising matches away from adding a second star above the shield, and already it's appropriate to go into ridiculous overconfidence mode because you can't properly experience the inevitable disappointment of England being knocked out of a tournament without thinking that they are goodness and light incarnate, first. At the moment though, everything is working out better than expected.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry Kane, England, and Saint George!'
Kane 56' (pen)
Mina 92'
Penalties
3-4
This 4th of July, I am celebrating the victory of the red coats over an American army. Okay, so it's a different set of red coats and it's a South American army of eleven Colombians but nevertheless, a victory is still a victory; even if it is done in an ugly ugly fashion.
Colombia started this match with absolutely zero fear of England. As far as they were concerned, this would be a routine ninety minutes and thence a trip to the booking office for an appointment with Sweden in the next round. England on the other hand, were carrying a relatively fresher side, which also included the so far Golden Boot of the tournament.
Almost from the opening whistle, this match degenerated into a chaotic and undisciplined mess.
In the fourth minute, after a passage of pressure by England, Mira handballed outside the area and then decided that he wanted to have an argument with the referee. When Young stood up and delivered the free kick to an undefined location that wasn't remotely near the goal, it was already apparent as to what kind of match this would be.
At the quarter hour mark, Trippier crossed inwards to the head of Harry Kane who came perilously close to opening the scoring but somehow managed to put the ball over the bar from three yards away. Seven minutes later, Curduardo joined the party by unilaterally declaring that Colombia needed a space program and the first thing to be put into orbit would be an Adidas Telstar '18.
The match kind of cooled down a bit with neither side really establishing any kind of dominance and the only real highlight before the half was four minutes from the break when Kane was brought down outside the area and Trippier sent the free kick to nowhere in particular. Unable to break the deadlock, both sides must have gone into the dressing sheds at half time thinking that if they could only score once, that that might be enough.
Five minutes into the second half and Arias elbowed Kane in the head, and then protested long and loudly about the fact. This must have enraged Sanchez because two minutes later, he hugged Kane and threw him to the ground. He might have got away with it too, had it not for him being directly in front of the referee when it happened and then for four whole minutes, we kind of had a shouty conference between at least half of the Colombian side and the referee.
They needed have bothered as Kane converted the penalty into a goal by driving it straight down the middle and over the keeper.
From here, neither side looked threatening except for a scare when Kane and Tripper lost the ball deep into the corner of the Colombian end of the pitch and a clearance and then almost 90 yard run by Curduado was only foiled by his own virus immense ineptitude. Pickford made himself look big and that was enough to throw out Curduado's radar.
It probably should have ended 0-1 to England except that Columbia pressed late into the match and won a reprieve when a Falcao corner found Mina's head, who bent the ball in front of Pickford to equalise in the 92nd minute.
An extra half hour is almost always a test of who can keep their nerve for the longest period of time and as cramp was beginning to set in, in players of both sides, if there was going to be any scoring, it was wilted out in the heat. Bacca missed in the 100th minute. Falcao missed at 103 minutes. Henderson made a run and dinked the ball left to Rose, whose 112th minute strike also missed.
This war of attrition would end after two hours in inglorious fashion and England won 4-3:
OOOXX
OOXOO
The only redeeming feature of this idiotic thing is that for the first time ever, England have won a penalty shootout in a major tournament. Ten kicks is hardly a way to resolve a football match but it does mean that the England manager Gareth Southgate, will get to forget his own penalty miss at Euro '96. It also means that he will continue to rack up late fees for the rental of his waistcoat because I'm sure that as the England manager and indeed every England fan, never really expects to go this far into any tournament.
England now stand just three tantalising matches away from adding a second star above the shield, and already it's appropriate to go into ridiculous overconfidence mode because you can't properly experience the inevitable disappointment of England being knocked out of a tournament without thinking that they are goodness and light incarnate, first. At the moment though, everything is working out better than expected.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry Kane, England, and Saint George!'
June 29, 2018
Horse 2432 - And How Could I Ever Refuse? I Feel Like I Win When I Lose
England 0 - Belgium 1
Januzaj 51'
Never before have I been so completely calm with an England loss. Rather, never have I been so happy to see an England loss. In fact, this whole match is a case of perverse incentives producing perverse actions.
Both England and Belgium had qualified for the round of 16 before a ball had even been rolled in this match. From the outset, it was always in the best interests of the managers to play a completely different lineup to their previous games; for fear of both injury and/or red and yellow cards which would take players out of future games. England made 9 changes to the previous lineup and Belgium made 8; so already this dead rubber was being treated as such.
Further to this, the reward for coming second in the group was a comparatively easier draw in the competition, based on the results of other groups. From that perspective, it was actually preferable to come second in the group, and that either meant losing or losing on other stats like fair play. The commentary denounced this match as a race to get yellow cards but that never eventuated and instead we got a very placid game, which may as well have been the local derby in the Southern Counties Combined Division, between Vanilla City and Vanilla United. It was kind of fitting that England were playing in lily white and Belgium wore a red kit which was accented with plaid.
The first half made so little impact on me that the only note that I made was 45' 0-0. Both sides were playing so slowly that they would have lost a race with a plastic bag that was blown around by the breeze.
The second half resumed in a similar fashion and Belgium shocked the world by actually bothering to do something. Six minutes in, Fellaini made a break, dinked the ball to the left and Januzaj forgot that coming second in the group was actually desirable, and slotted home a fairly boring kind of goal.
From this point, the Three Lions awoke from their slumber and prowled around a bit. They didn't really make much of a go of it and the best of their opportunities came when Loftus-Cheek opened up Belgium's back four as though he had parted the red sea and Marcus Rashford had a strike which happened to take a deflection off the hapless Belgian keeper and didn't go in.
Belgium had a few halfhearted attempts at scoring again but England's back four were equal to the task. They came close to scoring twice more but the first was cleared off the line by John Stones and the second bounced around in the six yard box like a pinball with ADHD before Rose put a boot through it and enough postage on the ball to make sure that it was sent and wouldn't come back.
England 0 - Belgium 1, kind of means that Belgium have given England the better outcome for the rest of the competition. England will face Colombia in the Round of 16 and probably Switzerland in the match after that. Never before have so many been so not disappointed by such banality.
Aside (because this match was so relaxed):
It has really bothered me from a design perspective that this tournament (and indeed every World Cup to date) hasn't applied the letters and numbers of the font for the tournament on the players kits. I know that companies like Nike and Adidas like to have their branding everywhere but right down the sides of the field, the ad boards have consistently had 2018 World Cup Russia branding in both Roman and Cyrillic scripts.
Since the invention of television, Football has its own visual historical record. Effort is put into the transitions between camera shots (wipes and sweeps) and as of the information graphics including the score in the corner is branded; so why not the kits?
The kit manufacturers and the respective football associations generally don't appear to be all that worried about the look of the tournament; as evidenced by the fact that so many kits of various nations are all off the shelf kits with pallette swaps. The England kit looked simple but not in any way distinctive and if the three lions shield wasn't there, it would have been impossible to guess which country was playing; likewise, if it wasn't for the plaid device on the front of the Belgium kit, and the completely nondescript Belgium shield (when viewed from far away), you would think that Spain was playing. Since the kit manufacturers don't appear to be worried about the look of these things, and they will adopt central branding at league level, then why not do it for a World Cup?
Januzaj 51'
Never before have I been so completely calm with an England loss. Rather, never have I been so happy to see an England loss. In fact, this whole match is a case of perverse incentives producing perverse actions.
Both England and Belgium had qualified for the round of 16 before a ball had even been rolled in this match. From the outset, it was always in the best interests of the managers to play a completely different lineup to their previous games; for fear of both injury and/or red and yellow cards which would take players out of future games. England made 9 changes to the previous lineup and Belgium made 8; so already this dead rubber was being treated as such.
Further to this, the reward for coming second in the group was a comparatively easier draw in the competition, based on the results of other groups. From that perspective, it was actually preferable to come second in the group, and that either meant losing or losing on other stats like fair play. The commentary denounced this match as a race to get yellow cards but that never eventuated and instead we got a very placid game, which may as well have been the local derby in the Southern Counties Combined Division, between Vanilla City and Vanilla United. It was kind of fitting that England were playing in lily white and Belgium wore a red kit which was accented with plaid.
The first half made so little impact on me that the only note that I made was 45' 0-0. Both sides were playing so slowly that they would have lost a race with a plastic bag that was blown around by the breeze.
The second half resumed in a similar fashion and Belgium shocked the world by actually bothering to do something. Six minutes in, Fellaini made a break, dinked the ball to the left and Januzaj forgot that coming second in the group was actually desirable, and slotted home a fairly boring kind of goal.
From this point, the Three Lions awoke from their slumber and prowled around a bit. They didn't really make much of a go of it and the best of their opportunities came when Loftus-Cheek opened up Belgium's back four as though he had parted the red sea and Marcus Rashford had a strike which happened to take a deflection off the hapless Belgian keeper and didn't go in.
Belgium had a few halfhearted attempts at scoring again but England's back four were equal to the task. They came close to scoring twice more but the first was cleared off the line by John Stones and the second bounced around in the six yard box like a pinball with ADHD before Rose put a boot through it and enough postage on the ball to make sure that it was sent and wouldn't come back.
England 0 - Belgium 1, kind of means that Belgium have given England the better outcome for the rest of the competition. England will face Colombia in the Round of 16 and probably Switzerland in the match after that. Never before have so many been so not disappointed by such banality.
Aside (because this match was so relaxed):
It has really bothered me from a design perspective that this tournament (and indeed every World Cup to date) hasn't applied the letters and numbers of the font for the tournament on the players kits. I know that companies like Nike and Adidas like to have their branding everywhere but right down the sides of the field, the ad boards have consistently had 2018 World Cup Russia branding in both Roman and Cyrillic scripts.
Since the invention of television, Football has its own visual historical record. Effort is put into the transitions between camera shots (wipes and sweeps) and as of the information graphics including the score in the corner is branded; so why not the kits?
The kit manufacturers and the respective football associations generally don't appear to be all that worried about the look of the tournament; as evidenced by the fact that so many kits of various nations are all off the shelf kits with pallette swaps. The England kit looked simple but not in any way distinctive and if the three lions shield wasn't there, it would have been impossible to guess which country was playing; likewise, if it wasn't for the plaid device on the front of the Belgium kit, and the completely nondescript Belgium shield (when viewed from far away), you would think that Spain was playing. Since the kit manufacturers don't appear to be worried about the look of these things, and they will adopt central branding at league level, then why not do it for a World Cup?
June 27, 2018
Horse 2430 - Australia Knocked Out Before A Ball Was Kicked - But It's Fine
Australia 0 - Peru 2
Carillo 17'
Guerrero 50'
It was obvious before the kickoff in the Australia - Peru match, that Australia would not qualify for the round of 16. If you'd been watching the kickoff in the France - Denmark games which started two and a half minutes earlier, you would have seen from the get go, that France had no intentions of trying terribly hard and that Denmark were absolutely fine with their part in being co-conspirators in the quest to pick up one point each. In fact, the highlight reel of that match, pretty well much began and ended with the kickoff and final whistle and not much else. France and Denmark secured a point each by playing a game which is best described as dour.
As for Australia's hopes independent of that match? Well, let's just say that this was an industrial relations field day, with both Australia and Denmark having less strikes than a well organised and coordinated worksite where everyone is happy with their pay and conditions.
Peru didn't start this game at anywhere near as frenetic a pace as Denmark or France did. This laid back approach would serve them well as they calmly dealt with any attacks that Australia might make. In fact the opening goal of the game happened against the run of play; on a counter attack and surprisingly very calmly indeed.
Peru pressed forward to the edge of the 18 yard box, while Australia looked organised defensively and held their line. A cross was sent in front of the back four, where Carillo thumped it into the bottom left side of the goal and back across Matt Ryan. It was really Peru's first meaningful touch on the ball in the match and seventeen minutes in, they were already looking like they'd pick up all three points in what was effectively a dead rubber.
Most of this match looked kind of the same from this point. Australia would push forwards, and either get stalled in front of the opposition's defence, or take a shot and jag it badly.
Milligan's pass to Leckie resulted in a miss (20'). Mooy had a meaningful shot that breezed past the post (39'). Behich delivered a corner that bounced around for a bit before Cahill's stot missed (60'). Rogic played a long ball after which Behich found himself in space and the missed (71'). Peru's Flores hit a shot that was more hopeful than good and missed (80'). Jedinak took a free kick after Sainsbury was brought down a missed everything (82'.)
The other goal came at the 50 minute mark when Guerrero (who was only allowed in the tournament because the confederations of France, Denmark and Australia, decided to forgive his cocaine charges which would have rendered him ineligible) made a run into the 18 yard box and had a go. There was nothing inherently remarkable about the goal other than it doubled the scoreline and given that apart from Matt Leckie, nobody in an Australian shirt has scored a goal in calendar year 2018, this effectively put the game beyond Australia.
Probably the newspapers will spend many column inches trying to diagnose what's wrong with Australian football but with a string of results of 2-1, 1-1, and 2-0, against teams ranked no lower than 12th, I don't think that that's necessary. The basic problem with Australian football is that Rugby League, Rugby Union, and Australian Rules Football exist. This is a simple opportunity cost issue and given that Australia either is or is somewhere near the top of the world in those three other codes of football, it should be expected that they do not as well against nations of comparative specialists. I bet that the number of people in Peru who have heard of Australian Rules Football, could all fit into a phone booth. The fact that Australia qualifies and consistently fails to escape the group is merely an expression of where the expectations should be set. On that metric, Australia has performed exactly as should be expected and in the very broad context of the history of the World Cup, only eight nations have ever won it anyway.
Australia has done better than Italy, they've done better than the United States because they've made it to the tournament, and they've done better than Saudi Arabia because against the top dozen teams, they have looked adequate. The even numbered QF flight from Sochi to Sydney may have been booked immediately after the kickoff in the France - Denmark game but there's no reason to arrive at Kingsford-Smith Airport with pitchforks and backhoes unless you are the landscape gardeners.
Australia played with heart and soul and were simply not good enough to beat the top dozen teams in the world, and although that's boring, it's fine.
Carillo 17'
Guerrero 50'
It was obvious before the kickoff in the Australia - Peru match, that Australia would not qualify for the round of 16. If you'd been watching the kickoff in the France - Denmark games which started two and a half minutes earlier, you would have seen from the get go, that France had no intentions of trying terribly hard and that Denmark were absolutely fine with their part in being co-conspirators in the quest to pick up one point each. In fact, the highlight reel of that match, pretty well much began and ended with the kickoff and final whistle and not much else. France and Denmark secured a point each by playing a game which is best described as dour.
As for Australia's hopes independent of that match? Well, let's just say that this was an industrial relations field day, with both Australia and Denmark having less strikes than a well organised and coordinated worksite where everyone is happy with their pay and conditions.
Peru didn't start this game at anywhere near as frenetic a pace as Denmark or France did. This laid back approach would serve them well as they calmly dealt with any attacks that Australia might make. In fact the opening goal of the game happened against the run of play; on a counter attack and surprisingly very calmly indeed.
Peru pressed forward to the edge of the 18 yard box, while Australia looked organised defensively and held their line. A cross was sent in front of the back four, where Carillo thumped it into the bottom left side of the goal and back across Matt Ryan. It was really Peru's first meaningful touch on the ball in the match and seventeen minutes in, they were already looking like they'd pick up all three points in what was effectively a dead rubber.
Most of this match looked kind of the same from this point. Australia would push forwards, and either get stalled in front of the opposition's defence, or take a shot and jag it badly.
Milligan's pass to Leckie resulted in a miss (20'). Mooy had a meaningful shot that breezed past the post (39'). Behich delivered a corner that bounced around for a bit before Cahill's stot missed (60'). Rogic played a long ball after which Behich found himself in space and the missed (71'). Peru's Flores hit a shot that was more hopeful than good and missed (80'). Jedinak took a free kick after Sainsbury was brought down a missed everything (82'.)
The other goal came at the 50 minute mark when Guerrero (who was only allowed in the tournament because the confederations of France, Denmark and Australia, decided to forgive his cocaine charges which would have rendered him ineligible) made a run into the 18 yard box and had a go. There was nothing inherently remarkable about the goal other than it doubled the scoreline and given that apart from Matt Leckie, nobody in an Australian shirt has scored a goal in calendar year 2018, this effectively put the game beyond Australia.
Probably the newspapers will spend many column inches trying to diagnose what's wrong with Australian football but with a string of results of 2-1, 1-1, and 2-0, against teams ranked no lower than 12th, I don't think that that's necessary. The basic problem with Australian football is that Rugby League, Rugby Union, and Australian Rules Football exist. This is a simple opportunity cost issue and given that Australia either is or is somewhere near the top of the world in those three other codes of football, it should be expected that they do not as well against nations of comparative specialists. I bet that the number of people in Peru who have heard of Australian Rules Football, could all fit into a phone booth. The fact that Australia qualifies and consistently fails to escape the group is merely an expression of where the expectations should be set. On that metric, Australia has performed exactly as should be expected and in the very broad context of the history of the World Cup, only eight nations have ever won it anyway.
Australia has done better than Italy, they've done better than the United States because they've made it to the tournament, and they've done better than Saudi Arabia because against the top dozen teams, they have looked adequate. The even numbered QF flight from Sochi to Sydney may have been booked immediately after the kickoff in the France - Denmark game but there's no reason to arrive at Kingsford-Smith Airport with pitchforks and backhoes unless you are the landscape gardeners.
Australia played with heart and soul and were simply not good enough to beat the top dozen teams in the world, and although that's boring, it's fine.
June 25, 2018
Horse 2428 - Panama's House Burns Down Because Harry Kane Is On Fire
England 6 - Panama 1
Stones - 8'
Kane - 21' (pen)
Lingard - 35'
Stones - 41'
Kane - 46' (pen)
Kane - 60'
Baloy - 78'
The perennial problem with being an England fan is that the default position is one of pessimism which is based on years of evidence. Be the sport Cricket, Rugby, World Wars, Empire, or Football, the lot of an England fan is to look back to a time when England was for a brief moment the World Champion and then how currently they always fail to deliver.
Every new generation of England players is a golden generation and because England fans have deliberate four year amnesia, they always think that it will be the year: it never is. England will put in performances which are "plucky", have "the heart of a lion" and the "spirit of '66" and will crash out in the quarter finals in an act of either controversy or hopeless inadequacy.
So when a result like this comes along, it is so extraordinary that England fans literally have no idea what to do. Since the default position is one where they expect to lose, there is no playbook for this. This is joy which almost immediately butts up against the question "now what?"
England was expected to win or draw against Panama. Panama was playing at their first World Cup and sides like that generally punch above their weight because they have no fear of their opposition. Panama started against England at full pelt but it soon became hideously apparent that the distance between the two sides was as wide as the Atlantic Ocean which physically separates the two countries.
England spent the first few minutes held back by Panama but very quickly found that they could take the ball away from them. This led to an opening period of England pressing at the 18 yard box and then they won a corner.
Trippier delivered a fairly routine corner kick which should have been dealt with but it was met with John Stones' head and swiftly delivered to the back of the net.
In response to England's opening goal, Panama appeared to step up a gear and very nearly equalised when Barcanas took a shot at the quarter hour mark, which Jordan Pickford at full stretch still missed, but sadly for Panama, also sailed past the outside of the post. Panama kind of grew in confidence after this but not in skill and at the other end of the field, on a push forward by Lingard, both Torres and Escobar pushed him forward and into the ground. This went to the VAR for a decision; which I can only imagine was to work out which one was actually at fault.
Harry Kane, the hero of the opening match duly stood up to the penalty spot and fired a rocket of a shot which may as well have had cosmonauts on board.
Not content with a two goal lead, England kept on pressing to close out the match and continual niggling from the Panamanians which might have gone unpunished in a CONCACAF qualifier, was not tolerated by this World Cup referee. Raheem Sterling drove deep into the six yard box but was met with a wall of red shirts and passed it away to Lingard who made good on the hope placed in him.
From here though, Panama fell into disciplinary problems and the referee was forced to start handing out cards as though he was the dealer at the casino. One free kick was conceded about 35 yards away from goal and a small huddle formed as the England players worked out their set piece. Trippier's free kick crossed to the far side of the box, where Jordan Henderson turned in back in towards Sterling and Kane who both missed but John Stones was on hand to clean up the loose ball and drive it home for England's fourth.
The last time that England had scored four goals at the World Cup was all the way back in 1966 in the Final, and already the television commentary had turned into its inevitable amnesia, as the commentators started talking about going all the way. Even my jaded expectations were confused when during yet another corner, Godoy held Kane in a submission hold and Escobar held John Stone as though he were the pillion passenger on the back of a motorbike. The referee saw both and decided to ping Escobar for the offence and Harry Kane was again called up to the penalty spot, which he again put away; in extra time.
At 5-0 at half time, England had now moved into uncharted territory at a World Cup, and already Harry Kane had made himself a possible candidate for the tournament's golden boot. Panama on the other hand must have had a team talk which was either expletive laden or quite dejected because after the break, they didn't play as fiercely as before; neither did England.
Ten minutes into the second half, Ruben Loftus-Cheek took a hopeful shot which caught the heel of none other than Harry Kane who might have been off-side but the VAR deliberated and awarded him with his hat-trick. At 6-0 up, it was only then that the tempo kind of died down.
At six goals down, Panama were obviously never going to win but they still needed to salvage some kind of consolation from the match. Murillo pushed forward but was met by Pickford standing solid and firm and the deflection was cleared. Ramon Torres had a shot in the 75th minute which defied everyone but still wouldn't trouble the goal.
Their breakthrough came in the 78th minute when Avila won a free kick and was able to avoid complete humiliation when Baloy met the ball with his head, to score Panama's first ever goal at a World Cup proper. Maybe England are fragile against set pieces but when you're already on a record number of goals in a match, nobody seemed too worried.
The remaining twelve minutes sort of trickled away as though this was all a strange and wonderful dream. England had only won its opening two group games at a World Cup in 1982 and 1990; and whatever the result in the third game, against Belgium, is, they are already through to the round of sixteen.
If I was England manager Gareth Southgate, I would replace all eleven players from this match with the eleven players who haven't yet started in this tournament. If nothing else, it gives you an opportunity to see how they'd fare at this World Cup. I think that as a player, I would be really hacked off at traveling to a World Cup and not getting a start. England have bought themselves this luxury and I see no reason not to enjoy it.
If I wasn't already invested in this World Cup, I am now. However, I am not so naïve as to think that it all won't go horribly wrong. This is England: three world wars (two hot; one cold), one World Cup (doo dah), and a team that hasn't won any tournament since Harold Wilson was Prime Minister. If we forget our amnesia, then hopeless inadequacy is only a free kick away.
Stones - 8'
Kane - 21' (pen)
Lingard - 35'
Stones - 41'
Kane - 46' (pen)
Kane - 60'
Baloy - 78'
The perennial problem with being an England fan is that the default position is one of pessimism which is based on years of evidence. Be the sport Cricket, Rugby, World Wars, Empire, or Football, the lot of an England fan is to look back to a time when England was for a brief moment the World Champion and then how currently they always fail to deliver.
Every new generation of England players is a golden generation and because England fans have deliberate four year amnesia, they always think that it will be the year: it never is. England will put in performances which are "plucky", have "the heart of a lion" and the "spirit of '66" and will crash out in the quarter finals in an act of either controversy or hopeless inadequacy.
So when a result like this comes along, it is so extraordinary that England fans literally have no idea what to do. Since the default position is one where they expect to lose, there is no playbook for this. This is joy which almost immediately butts up against the question "now what?"
England was expected to win or draw against Panama. Panama was playing at their first World Cup and sides like that generally punch above their weight because they have no fear of their opposition. Panama started against England at full pelt but it soon became hideously apparent that the distance between the two sides was as wide as the Atlantic Ocean which physically separates the two countries.
England spent the first few minutes held back by Panama but very quickly found that they could take the ball away from them. This led to an opening period of England pressing at the 18 yard box and then they won a corner.
Trippier delivered a fairly routine corner kick which should have been dealt with but it was met with John Stones' head and swiftly delivered to the back of the net.
In response to England's opening goal, Panama appeared to step up a gear and very nearly equalised when Barcanas took a shot at the quarter hour mark, which Jordan Pickford at full stretch still missed, but sadly for Panama, also sailed past the outside of the post. Panama kind of grew in confidence after this but not in skill and at the other end of the field, on a push forward by Lingard, both Torres and Escobar pushed him forward and into the ground. This went to the VAR for a decision; which I can only imagine was to work out which one was actually at fault.
Harry Kane, the hero of the opening match duly stood up to the penalty spot and fired a rocket of a shot which may as well have had cosmonauts on board.
Not content with a two goal lead, England kept on pressing to close out the match and continual niggling from the Panamanians which might have gone unpunished in a CONCACAF qualifier, was not tolerated by this World Cup referee. Raheem Sterling drove deep into the six yard box but was met with a wall of red shirts and passed it away to Lingard who made good on the hope placed in him.
From here though, Panama fell into disciplinary problems and the referee was forced to start handing out cards as though he was the dealer at the casino. One free kick was conceded about 35 yards away from goal and a small huddle formed as the England players worked out their set piece. Trippier's free kick crossed to the far side of the box, where Jordan Henderson turned in back in towards Sterling and Kane who both missed but John Stones was on hand to clean up the loose ball and drive it home for England's fourth.
The last time that England had scored four goals at the World Cup was all the way back in 1966 in the Final, and already the television commentary had turned into its inevitable amnesia, as the commentators started talking about going all the way. Even my jaded expectations were confused when during yet another corner, Godoy held Kane in a submission hold and Escobar held John Stone as though he were the pillion passenger on the back of a motorbike. The referee saw both and decided to ping Escobar for the offence and Harry Kane was again called up to the penalty spot, which he again put away; in extra time.
At 5-0 at half time, England had now moved into uncharted territory at a World Cup, and already Harry Kane had made himself a possible candidate for the tournament's golden boot. Panama on the other hand must have had a team talk which was either expletive laden or quite dejected because after the break, they didn't play as fiercely as before; neither did England.
Ten minutes into the second half, Ruben Loftus-Cheek took a hopeful shot which caught the heel of none other than Harry Kane who might have been off-side but the VAR deliberated and awarded him with his hat-trick. At 6-0 up, it was only then that the tempo kind of died down.
At six goals down, Panama were obviously never going to win but they still needed to salvage some kind of consolation from the match. Murillo pushed forward but was met by Pickford standing solid and firm and the deflection was cleared. Ramon Torres had a shot in the 75th minute which defied everyone but still wouldn't trouble the goal.
Their breakthrough came in the 78th minute when Avila won a free kick and was able to avoid complete humiliation when Baloy met the ball with his head, to score Panama's first ever goal at a World Cup proper. Maybe England are fragile against set pieces but when you're already on a record number of goals in a match, nobody seemed too worried.
The remaining twelve minutes sort of trickled away as though this was all a strange and wonderful dream. England had only won its opening two group games at a World Cup in 1982 and 1990; and whatever the result in the third game, against Belgium, is, they are already through to the round of sixteen.
If I was England manager Gareth Southgate, I would replace all eleven players from this match with the eleven players who haven't yet started in this tournament. If nothing else, it gives you an opportunity to see how they'd fare at this World Cup. I think that as a player, I would be really hacked off at traveling to a World Cup and not getting a start. England have bought themselves this luxury and I see no reason not to enjoy it.
If I wasn't already invested in this World Cup, I am now. However, I am not so naïve as to think that it all won't go horribly wrong. This is England: three world wars (two hot; one cold), one World Cup (doo dah), and a team that hasn't won any tournament since Harold Wilson was Prime Minister. If we forget our amnesia, then hopeless inadequacy is only a free kick away.
June 22, 2018
Horse 2426 - Ball Goes Everywhere But The Goal
Denmark 1 - Australia 1
Eriksen - 6'
Jedinak - 38' (pen)
Australian football is like a man with a barbecue which is covered in chilli sausages but doesn't have any wood, nor any matches. There is a lot of meat and a fair amount of spice but no firepower.
Such is Australian football that Australia had to play a record number of matches just to arrive at the tournament proper because fundamentally the Australian team has a chronic scoring problem. Indeed Australia hasn't yet won a match at this World Cup, nor the one before it; nor the one before that either. You have to go all the way back to 2006 to find an entry in the win column. Indeed this match from the get go looked like it was going to turn out like a broken pencil - pointless - precisely because of this chronic inability to put the ball in the back of the net consistently.
Before the match had started, there was a complaint by the traveling contingent of Australian fans that transport in Russia was inadequate, as the airport in Kazan had been closed due to inclement weather and the train journey to Samara took 15 hours. This was in addition to the fact that there aren't really proper roads in that part of Russia and going by road took at least 20.
Australia's hopes appeared to be dashed just six minutes in when a flick pass from Jorgensen across the back four and a failure of Behich to even touch it, put the ball in the path of Eriksen, who needed only a single touch to dispatch it into the goal. Australian goalkeeper Matt Ryan was justifiably livid and was in danger of receiving a yellow card for mouthing off at his defenders for their laziness.
At that point, I bet that Qantas was already organising a QF even numbered flight back to Sydney because it looked like Australia was heading for a very quick exit from the tournament. Denmark kind of parked the bus in front of goal and Australia were ineffective at winning the ball for extended passages of play. Almost half an hour had elapsed before Australia struggled into the last third of the pitch and they managed to win a corner.
From Matt Leckie's delivery inwards, the ball bobbled in the air before sailing limply over the crossbar and that would have been it except that the VAR was called to attention by Mark Milligan's frantic calls for handball. Danish defender Yurray had held his arms in the air and on the way out, the ball made contact with his forearm. If there hadn't been VAR, then the referee would not have awarded a penalty because he clearly saw no infringement and had to be alerted to it after three minutes had passed. When play was stoopedy, Jedinak stepped up to the spot.
Danish goalkeeper Casper Schmeichel had kept a clean sheet for an amazing 9 hours and 32 minutes of football before this penalty but this streak was broken as he dived to his right and Jedinak shot the ball to his right.
The end of the first half descended into chaos as the ball traveled from end to end and Australia almost scored a second time when Nabbout back heeled to Leckie who subsequently returned to the consistent pattern of Australians not being able to score. It was 1-1 going into the half and the break kind of came as a relief for the Danish as Australia established dominance in the middle of the pitch.
The second half was a complete shambles from both sides as defending flew out the window but this was coupled with total impotence from both sides.This half had more misses that a meeting of the Country Women's Association.
52' Eriksen - miss
54' Behich - miss
71' Mooy - miss
71' Rogic - miss
72' Sisto - Miss
74' Nabbout fell over, dislocated his shoulder and will probably not return for the rest of the World Cup... and then Kruse - miss
80' Arzani - fired the ball across the Danish penalty box and no less than three Australian players failed to put a touch on it - miss miss miss
82' Cornelius - won a free kick 20 yards out... then missed.
83' Erimiss - miss
87' Leckie - miss
87' Arzani - miss
88' Sisto - miss
I haven't seen the quality of both attacking and defending stoop to such a low level in a very long time. The goalkeepers were untroubled as the remaining twenty players ran frantically, passed inaccurately, and shot wildly. The better of these two teams which escapes the group stage, is going to find it extremely difficult to progress beyond the round of 16 if this was the quality of football on display. It was entertaining but only so far as it was evenly matched and equally rubbish.
Speaking of that, a draw keeps Australia's hopes alive but the are just that - hopes. For Australia to go through they absolutely must beat Peru and possibly by at least two goals, which looks unlikely based on the performance against Denmark. In addition to that, France must also beat Denmark. If Denmark as so much as secure one point, then they will go through and the group will end:
7 France
5 Denmark
4 Australia
0 Peru
If Denmark win, then the Australia/Peru match is a dead rubber.
If France beat Denmark and Australia beat Peru and the goal difference is favorable, then the best possible result of the group is:
9 France
4 Australia
4 Denmark
0 Peru
If Australia fail to win, not even a draw will save them from the fate of booking that QF even numbered flight next Tuesday.
Eriksen - 6'
Jedinak - 38' (pen)
Australian football is like a man with a barbecue which is covered in chilli sausages but doesn't have any wood, nor any matches. There is a lot of meat and a fair amount of spice but no firepower.
Such is Australian football that Australia had to play a record number of matches just to arrive at the tournament proper because fundamentally the Australian team has a chronic scoring problem. Indeed Australia hasn't yet won a match at this World Cup, nor the one before it; nor the one before that either. You have to go all the way back to 2006 to find an entry in the win column. Indeed this match from the get go looked like it was going to turn out like a broken pencil - pointless - precisely because of this chronic inability to put the ball in the back of the net consistently.
Before the match had started, there was a complaint by the traveling contingent of Australian fans that transport in Russia was inadequate, as the airport in Kazan had been closed due to inclement weather and the train journey to Samara took 15 hours. This was in addition to the fact that there aren't really proper roads in that part of Russia and going by road took at least 20.
Australia's hopes appeared to be dashed just six minutes in when a flick pass from Jorgensen across the back four and a failure of Behich to even touch it, put the ball in the path of Eriksen, who needed only a single touch to dispatch it into the goal. Australian goalkeeper Matt Ryan was justifiably livid and was in danger of receiving a yellow card for mouthing off at his defenders for their laziness.
At that point, I bet that Qantas was already organising a QF even numbered flight back to Sydney because it looked like Australia was heading for a very quick exit from the tournament. Denmark kind of parked the bus in front of goal and Australia were ineffective at winning the ball for extended passages of play. Almost half an hour had elapsed before Australia struggled into the last third of the pitch and they managed to win a corner.
From Matt Leckie's delivery inwards, the ball bobbled in the air before sailing limply over the crossbar and that would have been it except that the VAR was called to attention by Mark Milligan's frantic calls for handball. Danish defender Yurray had held his arms in the air and on the way out, the ball made contact with his forearm. If there hadn't been VAR, then the referee would not have awarded a penalty because he clearly saw no infringement and had to be alerted to it after three minutes had passed. When play was stoopedy, Jedinak stepped up to the spot.
Danish goalkeeper Casper Schmeichel had kept a clean sheet for an amazing 9 hours and 32 minutes of football before this penalty but this streak was broken as he dived to his right and Jedinak shot the ball to his right.
The end of the first half descended into chaos as the ball traveled from end to end and Australia almost scored a second time when Nabbout back heeled to Leckie who subsequently returned to the consistent pattern of Australians not being able to score. It was 1-1 going into the half and the break kind of came as a relief for the Danish as Australia established dominance in the middle of the pitch.
The second half was a complete shambles from both sides as defending flew out the window but this was coupled with total impotence from both sides.This half had more misses that a meeting of the Country Women's Association.
52' Eriksen - miss
54' Behich - miss
71' Mooy - miss
71' Rogic - miss
72' Sisto - Miss
74' Nabbout fell over, dislocated his shoulder and will probably not return for the rest of the World Cup... and then Kruse - miss
80' Arzani - fired the ball across the Danish penalty box and no less than three Australian players failed to put a touch on it - miss miss miss
82' Cornelius - won a free kick 20 yards out... then missed.
83' Erimiss - miss
87' Leckie - miss
87' Arzani - miss
88' Sisto - miss
I haven't seen the quality of both attacking and defending stoop to such a low level in a very long time. The goalkeepers were untroubled as the remaining twenty players ran frantically, passed inaccurately, and shot wildly. The better of these two teams which escapes the group stage, is going to find it extremely difficult to progress beyond the round of 16 if this was the quality of football on display. It was entertaining but only so far as it was evenly matched and equally rubbish.
Speaking of that, a draw keeps Australia's hopes alive but the are just that - hopes. For Australia to go through they absolutely must beat Peru and possibly by at least two goals, which looks unlikely based on the performance against Denmark. In addition to that, France must also beat Denmark. If Denmark as so much as secure one point, then they will go through and the group will end:
7 France
5 Denmark
4 Australia
0 Peru
If Denmark win, then the Australia/Peru match is a dead rubber.
If France beat Denmark and Australia beat Peru and the goal difference is favorable, then the best possible result of the group is:
9 France
4 Australia
4 Denmark
0 Peru
If Australia fail to win, not even a draw will save them from the fate of booking that QF even numbered flight next Tuesday.
June 20, 2018
Horse 2425 - Blue Samurai Stun Los Cafeteros
Colombia 1 - Japan 2
Kagawa - 6'
Quintero - 39'
Osako - 73'
For some hitherto unknown reason that I don't know about, this World Cup is throwing up more upsets and unexpected surprises than most World Cups that I have seen. It also has delivered fewer scoreless draws than any other World Cup that I have seen. My suspicion is that because the minnows of the tournament have nothing to lose, then they go out there to win. This kind of mentality is difficult for a higher ranked team to accept and deal with because in principle, the players from the higher ranked nations usually play in competitions where the stakes are higher and the fear of losing outweighs the glory of winning.
Colombia went into their opening group game against Japan, knowing that Japan was the lowest ranked team in the group and that an Asian nation had never beaten a South American nation at a World Cup. When you also factor in that Japan hadn't even won a match at the World Cup proper since the 2010 edition of the tournament, then Colombia must have thought that they could score early and then cruise for the rest of the match, before taking home three points. Cruising would never be an option for them.
The opening few minutes was played at a furious tempo. If Japan was supposed to be a pushover, then nobody had told them so and they opened with a belief in themselves and an attacking flair that Colombia was never prepared for. If Colombia had done their research, they would have found out that the Japanese manager had only arrived in the job in April, and this might have led them to the conclusion that Japan would be in disarray. Japan was not.
After a series of continued attacks, the Japanese forwards opened up Colombia at the back and some terrible marking meant that there was an early shot on goal. This bounced around a bit and the second shot was handballed in the area by Carlos Sanchez. This was as blatant as the day is long and not only did Sanchez concede a penalty but he was sent off for deliberately and illegally stopping a goal scoring opportunity. There was something of a yellow shirted parliament which quickly surrounded the referee and they wanted the matter overturned by the VAR but there was no way that the referee was going to be overruled.
Shinji Kagawa's penalty was neither powerful nor would have been difficult for the keeper to have kept out except he went the wrong way and the ball traveled reliably into the goal.
Having been reduced to ten men, Colombia would play the remaining 84 minutes with a personnel problem and the Colombian manager made a substitution which took a striker off and replaced him with a defender. This meant that Colombia were pared back to a lone striker in Falcao and most of the Colombian attacks for the rest of the match were directed through him.
He would eventually win a free kick for Colombia which had it been referred to the VAR would surely have been overturned because Falcao practically walked backwards into the defender and then fell over himself. The referee saw the event differently and was sold the deception and thusly awarded the free kick just outside the Japanese 18 yard box.
Quintero stepped up and executed a brilliant piece of thinking by sprinting at the dead ball, which made the Japanese wall jump in anticipation but the shot was a wormburner which drove a streak directly under the wall and it completely took the Japanese goalkeeper Kawashima off guard. He tried to make the claim that he'd somehow trapped the ball in front of the goal line but the linesman saw that he'd fished it out of the goal, 20,000 Colombian fans had seen on the big screen that he'd fished it out of the goal, the worldwide audience had seen that he'd fished it out of the goal, and the goal line technology confirmed that all the ball had crossed the line.
They entered the half time break with the scores still level and it would seem that the match would more or less dribble out to its logical conclusion. Colombia lacked the firepower up front to worry the Japanese goal, and Japan met a highly organised wall of resistance which meant that they were never going to find a way through in open play. And they didn't.
The veteran Honda was brought on at about the hour mark as a kind of talisman and although Japan didn't really see any improvement in their lack of striking opportunities, they did settle down into a more composed rhythm. Eventually they won a corner and none other than Honda stepped up to deliver a frighteningly accurate ball that only found Osako's head, thence the back of the net. It wasn't met with power but enough deftness to jank the ball back towards the near post.
From here, the match again returned to a lack of Colombian firepower versus Japan's inability to break Colombian defences. Although there was a very late Colombian corner, this was dealt with calmly and the scores remained unchanged.
What this result does is throw the group wide open. If Japan were expected to be the whipping boys and Colombia had expected to convert this match into points, then neither of those things happened. Poland and Senegal must surely be looking over their shoulders because Japan will have found confidence out of this and Colombia will be forced to play both of their remaining matches where they are forced to try and win.
If we assume that Columbia hadn't been reduced to ten men, then the gulf in class was evident that they would have in all likelihood have won. The fact that this match was so evenly poised, was only made possible because Japan were playing with 10% more personnel. One of the fundamental qualities of football is that it is very much a numbers game and a whole host of tactics revolve around creating immediate overlaps. Of course this does immediately bring into question the quality of this Japan side but you can only play the game in front of you and the truth of the matter is that although neither side scored a goal in properly open play, Japan's second goal was the result of them attacking sufficiently well enough that Colombia did put the ball behind their own goal line.
Aside:
I listened to the whole match on NHK Radio with the telly on and the Colombian player Carlos Bacca was frequently referred to as Karosu Baka, or in English, "Colossal Idiot".
Kagawa - 6'
Quintero - 39'
Osako - 73'
For some hitherto unknown reason that I don't know about, this World Cup is throwing up more upsets and unexpected surprises than most World Cups that I have seen. It also has delivered fewer scoreless draws than any other World Cup that I have seen. My suspicion is that because the minnows of the tournament have nothing to lose, then they go out there to win. This kind of mentality is difficult for a higher ranked team to accept and deal with because in principle, the players from the higher ranked nations usually play in competitions where the stakes are higher and the fear of losing outweighs the glory of winning.
Colombia went into their opening group game against Japan, knowing that Japan was the lowest ranked team in the group and that an Asian nation had never beaten a South American nation at a World Cup. When you also factor in that Japan hadn't even won a match at the World Cup proper since the 2010 edition of the tournament, then Colombia must have thought that they could score early and then cruise for the rest of the match, before taking home three points. Cruising would never be an option for them.
The opening few minutes was played at a furious tempo. If Japan was supposed to be a pushover, then nobody had told them so and they opened with a belief in themselves and an attacking flair that Colombia was never prepared for. If Colombia had done their research, they would have found out that the Japanese manager had only arrived in the job in April, and this might have led them to the conclusion that Japan would be in disarray. Japan was not.
After a series of continued attacks, the Japanese forwards opened up Colombia at the back and some terrible marking meant that there was an early shot on goal. This bounced around a bit and the second shot was handballed in the area by Carlos Sanchez. This was as blatant as the day is long and not only did Sanchez concede a penalty but he was sent off for deliberately and illegally stopping a goal scoring opportunity. There was something of a yellow shirted parliament which quickly surrounded the referee and they wanted the matter overturned by the VAR but there was no way that the referee was going to be overruled.
Shinji Kagawa's penalty was neither powerful nor would have been difficult for the keeper to have kept out except he went the wrong way and the ball traveled reliably into the goal.
Having been reduced to ten men, Colombia would play the remaining 84 minutes with a personnel problem and the Colombian manager made a substitution which took a striker off and replaced him with a defender. This meant that Colombia were pared back to a lone striker in Falcao and most of the Colombian attacks for the rest of the match were directed through him.
He would eventually win a free kick for Colombia which had it been referred to the VAR would surely have been overturned because Falcao practically walked backwards into the defender and then fell over himself. The referee saw the event differently and was sold the deception and thusly awarded the free kick just outside the Japanese 18 yard box.
Quintero stepped up and executed a brilliant piece of thinking by sprinting at the dead ball, which made the Japanese wall jump in anticipation but the shot was a wormburner which drove a streak directly under the wall and it completely took the Japanese goalkeeper Kawashima off guard. He tried to make the claim that he'd somehow trapped the ball in front of the goal line but the linesman saw that he'd fished it out of the goal, 20,000 Colombian fans had seen on the big screen that he'd fished it out of the goal, the worldwide audience had seen that he'd fished it out of the goal, and the goal line technology confirmed that all the ball had crossed the line.
They entered the half time break with the scores still level and it would seem that the match would more or less dribble out to its logical conclusion. Colombia lacked the firepower up front to worry the Japanese goal, and Japan met a highly organised wall of resistance which meant that they were never going to find a way through in open play. And they didn't.
The veteran Honda was brought on at about the hour mark as a kind of talisman and although Japan didn't really see any improvement in their lack of striking opportunities, they did settle down into a more composed rhythm. Eventually they won a corner and none other than Honda stepped up to deliver a frighteningly accurate ball that only found Osako's head, thence the back of the net. It wasn't met with power but enough deftness to jank the ball back towards the near post.
From here, the match again returned to a lack of Colombian firepower versus Japan's inability to break Colombian defences. Although there was a very late Colombian corner, this was dealt with calmly and the scores remained unchanged.
What this result does is throw the group wide open. If Japan were expected to be the whipping boys and Colombia had expected to convert this match into points, then neither of those things happened. Poland and Senegal must surely be looking over their shoulders because Japan will have found confidence out of this and Colombia will be forced to play both of their remaining matches where they are forced to try and win.
If we assume that Columbia hadn't been reduced to ten men, then the gulf in class was evident that they would have in all likelihood have won. The fact that this match was so evenly poised, was only made possible because Japan were playing with 10% more personnel. One of the fundamental qualities of football is that it is very much a numbers game and a whole host of tactics revolve around creating immediate overlaps. Of course this does immediately bring into question the quality of this Japan side but you can only play the game in front of you and the truth of the matter is that although neither side scored a goal in properly open play, Japan's second goal was the result of them attacking sufficiently well enough that Colombia did put the ball behind their own goal line.
Aside:
I listened to the whole match on NHK Radio with the telly on and the Colombian player Carlos Bacca was frequently referred to as Karosu Baka, or in English, "Colossal Idiot".
June 19, 2018
Horse 2424 - England As A Metaphor For The Majesty Of Monotony
Tunisia 1 - England 2
Kane 11'
Sassi 35' (pen)
Kane 91'
The perpetual problem with being an England fan is the expectation before any tournament in any sport, that they will do rubbish and fail and that causes a case of extreme anxiety and sadness, when after escaping the early stages of a competition, they show competence and hold out a glimmer of hope; which is always smashed into the ground when the inevitable happens and they do rubbish and fail.
This is a perpetual cycle in the English press, when they help to lay the groundwork for collective amnesia, so that they can recycle the same story again and again. It is as if the heroes of today merely exist to replenish the stories of old. It's the same old song but with a different name since you've been gone.
My expectation before this match against Tunisia was that England would come out of the starting gate like a mad thing; take an early lead, before squandering it all because of some idiotic mistake and then either fighting on valiantly but losing or fighting on valiantly and winning this match, so that they can lay the groundwork for our collective amnesia.
This 2-1 result had all the inevitability of a dropped pie falling onto the railway tracks before being squished by the express service to the city that does not stop at this station. And so it goes.
I arrived at the match two minutes after the kickoff had started and was shocked and terrified that the team in white was being pummeled and having a silver plate being polished for its head to be placed upon. It wasn't until the first closeup that I saw that the team in white was actually Tunisia and the team in red was England. That number 10 player who was running merrily about was actually Raheem Sterling and the number 9 was Harry Kane.
The opening goal of the match happened after just 11 minutes when John Stones should have put away Ashley Young's corner with a header but that was denied by the Tunisian goalkeeper Mouez Hassen. That would have been it expect that he couldn't hold onto it and Harry Kane belted the ball into the back of the net from 3 yards away.
England then proceeded to play according to the script perfectly when Kyle Walker made an idiotic decision to manhandle Ben Youssef right on top of the penalty spot and bring him down. Why this went to the VAR is totally beyond me. There was no way that Walker's bout of idiocy was not a penalty. This was so obvious that even Blind Freddy could have seen it.
Of course Ferjani Sassi was always going to drill it from 12 yards. Of course the goalkeeper Jordan Pickford was always going to show pluck and ticker but ultimately have the ball drift past him. In this display of theatre, these things must always happen for the benefit of television.
The second half played out like the dance of destiny that it was always going to be. Instead of looking timid, this England side under Gareth Southgate has adopted a script of old and has decided to play pressing football but look vulnerable at the back; and this is how it played out. Tunisia played far more defensively than they probably needed to and so a lot of the second half was the English midfield attacking the Tunisian 18 yard box and then progressing no more. All holes were plugged almost immediately. Any England dead ball opportunities were duly wasted and the clock ticked on and on towards 90 minutes where either a disappointing 1-1 draw would be played out or someone would break the deadlock and either hope or anxiety would be laid down. In this particular edition, we got hope.
The second goal happened in the 91st minute after a corner, which bobbled around the 6 yard box before being turned in by the head of Harry Kane at the far post. England have got one step closer to booking their tickets to the Round of 16 and then the Quarter Finals, where they will then throw it all away.
I am at peace with this. We already know how the story plays out, we already know that there will be a glimmer of hope which will be held out and we all know that it will be smashed into the ground when the inevitable happens.
There is something almost majestic in monotony. The thing that people like life coaches and motivational speakers never seem to grasp is that for most people most of the time, life is mostly automatic. Despite their calls to live the best life that you can, even if you measure success by the number of toys, wealth, power, influence, friends, popularity, fame, prestige, whatever, that they choose to use, the vast majority of people in the world live relatively quiet lives. We look to the exceptions rather than the overwhelming drone of the majority and are disappointed and anxious if we're not exceptional.
The England team in practically every sport is a perfect metaphor for dealing with the expectations of life. If you constantly expect to be winning everything all the time, then the world will surely fail to deliver; even if you are someone who is statistically exceptional. If on the other hand, you are grateful for the little glimpses of hope that happen to drift along every so often, then there's a kind of nobility in accepting the inevitable.
So what did I actually see upon the pitch at Volgograd? I mostly saw an England side that was having fun, playing a Tunisia side that was also having fun. I didn't see any signs of bitterness or malice and what was on display was a high level of technical competence and prowess from both sides. If it had remained 1-1 or England had lost, I would be lying if I say that I wouldn't have been disappointed but that's kind of the point. Football and especially England as a metaphor for life, is to remind you of the impending inevitability of disappointment but that you should enjoy the moments of hope that occasionally pass by.
C'mon England, all the way to the Quarter Finals. Failure awaits!
Kane 11'
Sassi 35' (pen)
Kane 91'
The perpetual problem with being an England fan is the expectation before any tournament in any sport, that they will do rubbish and fail and that causes a case of extreme anxiety and sadness, when after escaping the early stages of a competition, they show competence and hold out a glimmer of hope; which is always smashed into the ground when the inevitable happens and they do rubbish and fail.
This is a perpetual cycle in the English press, when they help to lay the groundwork for collective amnesia, so that they can recycle the same story again and again. It is as if the heroes of today merely exist to replenish the stories of old. It's the same old song but with a different name since you've been gone.
My expectation before this match against Tunisia was that England would come out of the starting gate like a mad thing; take an early lead, before squandering it all because of some idiotic mistake and then either fighting on valiantly but losing or fighting on valiantly and winning this match, so that they can lay the groundwork for our collective amnesia.
This 2-1 result had all the inevitability of a dropped pie falling onto the railway tracks before being squished by the express service to the city that does not stop at this station. And so it goes.
I arrived at the match two minutes after the kickoff had started and was shocked and terrified that the team in white was being pummeled and having a silver plate being polished for its head to be placed upon. It wasn't until the first closeup that I saw that the team in white was actually Tunisia and the team in red was England. That number 10 player who was running merrily about was actually Raheem Sterling and the number 9 was Harry Kane.
The opening goal of the match happened after just 11 minutes when John Stones should have put away Ashley Young's corner with a header but that was denied by the Tunisian goalkeeper Mouez Hassen. That would have been it expect that he couldn't hold onto it and Harry Kane belted the ball into the back of the net from 3 yards away.
England then proceeded to play according to the script perfectly when Kyle Walker made an idiotic decision to manhandle Ben Youssef right on top of the penalty spot and bring him down. Why this went to the VAR is totally beyond me. There was no way that Walker's bout of idiocy was not a penalty. This was so obvious that even Blind Freddy could have seen it.
Of course Ferjani Sassi was always going to drill it from 12 yards. Of course the goalkeeper Jordan Pickford was always going to show pluck and ticker but ultimately have the ball drift past him. In this display of theatre, these things must always happen for the benefit of television.
The second half played out like the dance of destiny that it was always going to be. Instead of looking timid, this England side under Gareth Southgate has adopted a script of old and has decided to play pressing football but look vulnerable at the back; and this is how it played out. Tunisia played far more defensively than they probably needed to and so a lot of the second half was the English midfield attacking the Tunisian 18 yard box and then progressing no more. All holes were plugged almost immediately. Any England dead ball opportunities were duly wasted and the clock ticked on and on towards 90 minutes where either a disappointing 1-1 draw would be played out or someone would break the deadlock and either hope or anxiety would be laid down. In this particular edition, we got hope.
The second goal happened in the 91st minute after a corner, which bobbled around the 6 yard box before being turned in by the head of Harry Kane at the far post. England have got one step closer to booking their tickets to the Round of 16 and then the Quarter Finals, where they will then throw it all away.
I am at peace with this. We already know how the story plays out, we already know that there will be a glimmer of hope which will be held out and we all know that it will be smashed into the ground when the inevitable happens.
There is something almost majestic in monotony. The thing that people like life coaches and motivational speakers never seem to grasp is that for most people most of the time, life is mostly automatic. Despite their calls to live the best life that you can, even if you measure success by the number of toys, wealth, power, influence, friends, popularity, fame, prestige, whatever, that they choose to use, the vast majority of people in the world live relatively quiet lives. We look to the exceptions rather than the overwhelming drone of the majority and are disappointed and anxious if we're not exceptional.
The England team in practically every sport is a perfect metaphor for dealing with the expectations of life. If you constantly expect to be winning everything all the time, then the world will surely fail to deliver; even if you are someone who is statistically exceptional. If on the other hand, you are grateful for the little glimpses of hope that happen to drift along every so often, then there's a kind of nobility in accepting the inevitable.
So what did I actually see upon the pitch at Volgograd? I mostly saw an England side that was having fun, playing a Tunisia side that was also having fun. I didn't see any signs of bitterness or malice and what was on display was a high level of technical competence and prowess from both sides. If it had remained 1-1 or England had lost, I would be lying if I say that I wouldn't have been disappointed but that's kind of the point. Football and especially England as a metaphor for life, is to remind you of the impending inevitability of disappointment but that you should enjoy the moments of hope that occasionally pass by.
C'mon England, all the way to the Quarter Finals. Failure awaits!
June 18, 2018
Horse 2423 - Mexican Golden Eagle Confuses German Imperial Eagle
Germany 0 - Mexico 1
Lozano 34'
There are several things that you hear amateur coaches yelling from the sidelines in district and parish games (basically in the sausages and beer leagues) that Mexico not only ignored but flaunted. "Don't ball watch." Mexico watched the ball. "Don't chase the game." Mexico chased the game. "Mark them on their bootlaces." Mexico didn't mark them on their bootlaces.
If you are coaching an amateur football team and especially a team of youngsters, then the Germany/Mexico match should absolutely positively unequivocally not be in your training video collection. If there is a training manual, then El Tri, tore it up and used it for kitty litter. Germany lost 1-0 because they were utterly confused.
The only goal of the match happened in the 34th minute when Hernandez passed the ball to the left and Lozano cut back inside the defender, took a strike and not even the best flailing of the German goalkeeper Neuer, could hope to stop it. The goal was nothing particularly special other than to say that the context of the game changes everything. For Mexico to put one past the world champions, der Weltmeisters, when they had never beaten Germany ever before, is special. This is what's so important and indeed the reason why Mexico won. Nobody seems to have told them what the significance of this game is.
From the opening whistle, Mexico were not in awe of the machines in white, that were standing in front of them. Nor were they particularly bothered about Germany sitting in their half for virtually the entire game. Mexico's game plan was to let Germany pass the ball incessantly and only diffuse them when they came forward. They then pressed into a comparatively empty field on the counter attack. Mexico's tactics broadly speaking was to play 5-5-0 in defence and then break into 5-3-2 with Lozano and Hernandez on the counter. Germany should have been wise to this because it was seen consistently across the Bundesliga, and usually against the big teams like Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund.
In other words, Mexico's coaching staff have watched German domestic football because in theory the national side should mostly play in the same way, have seen what has worked against the big clubs and have applied it well. Germany was always technically better at all points on the pitch, but as football is a game which is open to that elusive quality called 'heart', a team of technicians can be beaten from time to time.
We have seen this story repeated throughout this tournament. Spain and Portugal's 3-3 draw started out as a technical bore fest but soon evolved into something glorious as neither side was prepared to let it go. Argentina should have walked over Iceland but not even Lionel Messi could defeat a team of eleven viking warriors who can hold back lava, and are coached by a dentist.
The 2018 World Cup is in my not very well paid opinion, the most entertaining edition of the tournament that I have witnessed and this is the ninth one that I remember. Why? Because this World Cup is actually being played as a football tournament. At least what I've seen so far, the age of anti-fooball seems to have been broken. The big nations can't afford to assume that they have some divine right to win matches any more, the minnows of the tournament have acquired teeth and are eating the big fish from the inside.
Lozano 34'
There are several things that you hear amateur coaches yelling from the sidelines in district and parish games (basically in the sausages and beer leagues) that Mexico not only ignored but flaunted. "Don't ball watch." Mexico watched the ball. "Don't chase the game." Mexico chased the game. "Mark them on their bootlaces." Mexico didn't mark them on their bootlaces.
If you are coaching an amateur football team and especially a team of youngsters, then the Germany/Mexico match should absolutely positively unequivocally not be in your training video collection. If there is a training manual, then El Tri, tore it up and used it for kitty litter. Germany lost 1-0 because they were utterly confused.
The only goal of the match happened in the 34th minute when Hernandez passed the ball to the left and Lozano cut back inside the defender, took a strike and not even the best flailing of the German goalkeeper Neuer, could hope to stop it. The goal was nothing particularly special other than to say that the context of the game changes everything. For Mexico to put one past the world champions, der Weltmeisters, when they had never beaten Germany ever before, is special. This is what's so important and indeed the reason why Mexico won. Nobody seems to have told them what the significance of this game is.
From the opening whistle, Mexico were not in awe of the machines in white, that were standing in front of them. Nor were they particularly bothered about Germany sitting in their half for virtually the entire game. Mexico's game plan was to let Germany pass the ball incessantly and only diffuse them when they came forward. They then pressed into a comparatively empty field on the counter attack. Mexico's tactics broadly speaking was to play 5-5-0 in defence and then break into 5-3-2 with Lozano and Hernandez on the counter. Germany should have been wise to this because it was seen consistently across the Bundesliga, and usually against the big teams like Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund.
In other words, Mexico's coaching staff have watched German domestic football because in theory the national side should mostly play in the same way, have seen what has worked against the big clubs and have applied it well. Germany was always technically better at all points on the pitch, but as football is a game which is open to that elusive quality called 'heart', a team of technicians can be beaten from time to time.
We have seen this story repeated throughout this tournament. Spain and Portugal's 3-3 draw started out as a technical bore fest but soon evolved into something glorious as neither side was prepared to let it go. Argentina should have walked over Iceland but not even Lionel Messi could defeat a team of eleven viking warriors who can hold back lava, and are coached by a dentist.
The 2018 World Cup is in my not very well paid opinion, the most entertaining edition of the tournament that I have witnessed and this is the ninth one that I remember. Why? Because this World Cup is actually being played as a football tournament. At least what I've seen so far, the age of anti-fooball seems to have been broken. The big nations can't afford to assume that they have some divine right to win matches any more, the minnows of the tournament have acquired teeth and are eating the big fish from the inside.
June 16, 2018
Horse 2422 - VAR Defeats Everyone
France 2 - Australia 1
Griezmann - 58' (pen)
Jedinak - 62' (pen)
Pogba - 80'
Somewhere on the Volga River, an inflatable kangaroo is steadily drifting downstream in disgust as ten thousand Australians all collectively go in search of 30 grams of vodka to dilute the taste of their own tears.
France's 2-1 defeat of Australia is one of the hardest of all to take; not because Australia were rubbish but because the showed signs of adequacy that wasn't present in the qualifiers and they pushed France right up until the end of the match.
The poet Emily Dickenson wrote that:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.
She was right about hope having feathers but she didn't realise that they were the feathers of a Gallic Rooster and that it does indeed stop.
This match started with Australia playing somewhat tentatively and France came out of the blocks with every step being just that little bit longer, every touch being just that little bit sharper, and every kick being just that little bit stronger. As the match turned the half hour mark, that advantage seemed to dissipate, as the Australian players grew 3 inches and returned to their normal height; instead of cowering at the supposed gulf in class.
As half-time arrived though, Australia's adequacy had proved to just be enough and the scores remained deadlocked in a blank stalemate.
After the break and ten minutes in, Australia won a spurious place in football history when Risdon was awarded the first penalty against him via the Video Assistant Referee system (VAR), after his quite frankly idiotic challenge on Griezmann. The match was allowed to go one for three minutes while the VAR confused everyone before awarding Griezmann a penalty which he duly converted.
As if to correct this confused state of the universe, in a case of instant karma coming to get you, Samuel Umtiti handballed a Mooy cross which was also visited by the VAR, which awarded a penalty; and Jedinak put that penalty away just four minutes after the previous one.
At this point I was expectign that this would end in a 1-1 draw which would have been a fair result but ten minutes from home, a Paul Pogba shot clipped a defender and bounced in after coming off the underside of the bar. I thought that this was utterly rubbish because all the ball hadn't crossed the line and that this was a Wembley-tor, but the VAR confirmed that all the ball had indeed crossed the line and that there wasn't any offside either.
I'm going to accuse the VAR of being a cheating cheating knave, because I'm sure that the sensors in the goal have taken a bribe because technology is going to rise up and kill us all. I'm convinced that my microwave oven hates me, and that the dishwasher and refrigerator are going to kill me in the middle of the night in a white goods vendetta. Even my DVD player says te word "hello" when I switch it on, in a menacing fashion.
France held on to their single goal lead for those final ten minutes and for a whole five minutes of extra time, but in all honesty, this was an entirely expected result. 2-0 France was the shortest of odds for all results and the fact that Australia had equalised at one point is noteworthy.
This match will go down in history though as the first and second VAR penalties at a World Cup and the fact that VAR confirmed the third goal, only cemented its usefulness.
France 2 - Australia 1, or rather VAR 3 - Doubters 0. The system works. It works well. Y'all can shut up now.
Griezmann - 58' (pen)
Jedinak - 62' (pen)
Pogba - 80'
Somewhere on the Volga River, an inflatable kangaroo is steadily drifting downstream in disgust as ten thousand Australians all collectively go in search of 30 grams of vodka to dilute the taste of their own tears.
France's 2-1 defeat of Australia is one of the hardest of all to take; not because Australia were rubbish but because the showed signs of adequacy that wasn't present in the qualifiers and they pushed France right up until the end of the match.
The poet Emily Dickenson wrote that:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.
She was right about hope having feathers but she didn't realise that they were the feathers of a Gallic Rooster and that it does indeed stop.
This match started with Australia playing somewhat tentatively and France came out of the blocks with every step being just that little bit longer, every touch being just that little bit sharper, and every kick being just that little bit stronger. As the match turned the half hour mark, that advantage seemed to dissipate, as the Australian players grew 3 inches and returned to their normal height; instead of cowering at the supposed gulf in class.
As half-time arrived though, Australia's adequacy had proved to just be enough and the scores remained deadlocked in a blank stalemate.
After the break and ten minutes in, Australia won a spurious place in football history when Risdon was awarded the first penalty against him via the Video Assistant Referee system (VAR), after his quite frankly idiotic challenge on Griezmann. The match was allowed to go one for three minutes while the VAR confused everyone before awarding Griezmann a penalty which he duly converted.
As if to correct this confused state of the universe, in a case of instant karma coming to get you, Samuel Umtiti handballed a Mooy cross which was also visited by the VAR, which awarded a penalty; and Jedinak put that penalty away just four minutes after the previous one.
At this point I was expectign that this would end in a 1-1 draw which would have been a fair result but ten minutes from home, a Paul Pogba shot clipped a defender and bounced in after coming off the underside of the bar. I thought that this was utterly rubbish because all the ball hadn't crossed the line and that this was a Wembley-tor, but the VAR confirmed that all the ball had indeed crossed the line and that there wasn't any offside either.
I'm going to accuse the VAR of being a cheating cheating knave, because I'm sure that the sensors in the goal have taken a bribe because technology is going to rise up and kill us all. I'm convinced that my microwave oven hates me, and that the dishwasher and refrigerator are going to kill me in the middle of the night in a white goods vendetta. Even my DVD player says te word "hello" when I switch it on, in a menacing fashion.
France held on to their single goal lead for those final ten minutes and for a whole five minutes of extra time, but in all honesty, this was an entirely expected result. 2-0 France was the shortest of odds for all results and the fact that Australia had equalised at one point is noteworthy.
This match will go down in history though as the first and second VAR penalties at a World Cup and the fact that VAR confirmed the third goal, only cemented its usefulness.
France 2 - Australia 1, or rather VAR 3 - Doubters 0. The system works. It works well. Y'all can shut up now.
June 15, 2018
Horse 2421 - Five Asterisk Saudi Arabia Sunk By Russian Competency
Russia 5 - Saudi Arabia 0
Gazinsky 12'
Cheryshev 43'
Dzyuba 71'
Cheryshev 91'
Golovin 94'
The tradition of the home side of the tournament winning the opening game of the tournament has been continued in most emphatic fashion as Russia tore apart Saudi Arabia in a 5-0 demolition job. Not since the annexation of the Crimea have we seen Russians do a job so competently and with such little resistance. Before the World Cup, Russia hadn't won a game since November last year and although that isn't the best recipe for success, they needn't have worried as Saudi Arabia haven't won a match at the World Cup proper since 25th Jun 1994 when they beat Morocco. That's so long ago that many of the Saudi Arabian players hadn't even been born yet.
Having seen Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup qualifiers, I can say that they play dogged football but if they happen to be losing, then suddenly turn into a bunch of cheating thugs. This tactic works in the Asian Cup and in the qualifiers where the standard of refereeing isn't up to par and where the enticement of millions of petrodollars doesn't seem to work. No, if you want to use petrodollars and bribery to work at the World Cup, you need next level corruption and bribery to host the tournament; which is why the 2018 World Cup is in Russia and why the 2022 World Cup will be in Qatar despite it being completely unsuitable to hold a tournament and despite them not actually fulfilling the requirements for either having or building the minimum number of stadia.
You can expect a lot of falling over to extract free kicks, or of they are not in possession of the ball, a lot of tackles which would usually belong on a rugby pitch. However, as we had a referee who frequently waved "play on" and didn't fall for the Saudis' falling over, they soon learnt that this was useless and stopped it pretty early in the match.
As a fun aside, as this was the match between the combined least democratic nations in the history of the World Cup (according to the democracy index published by The Economist¹), then as a result we saw lots of camera shots of very wealthy shieks in the telecast, who will alternated between calm serenity to abject screaming. There was also quite a lot of airtime given to who I can only presume was King Saud of Saudi Arabia and Russian President Vladimir Putin, who wore a business suit because sitting on a horse while not wearing a shirt is not advisable. The not wearing of shirts would be normally strictly limited to hordes of pasty white drunk Europeans, except that this tournament being held in Russia is likely to have you arrested for homophobic reasons rather than public drunkenness. Walking around in June with a bottle of vodka yelling "Jingle Bells, you suck!" isn't usually considered as Christmas carolling but this being Russia, even Snow White thought that 7up was a soft drink before she discovered Smirnoff².
As for the actual match itself, Saudi Arabia sat very high on the pitch, which usually works in Asia because they can camp in the opposition's half quite effectively but as Russia is a European team, those tactics went out in about 1986 and were completely worked out by Italia '90. Russia were not only content to have the Saudis sit that high against them but welcomed it because Saudi Arabia is more toothless than Grandpa after he's put his dentures in a glass of water beside the bed. Russia would have played a hold and contain type game except there was nothing to hold or contain and they were frequently able to just walk up and steal the ball away. The number of completed passes was skewed heavily in Saudi Arabia's favour because they donkeyed the ball about so very very much.
The first of Russia's goals came off of the end of a curled cross which was duly headed in by Gazinsky. The second was caused by a complete brain explosion when Cheryshev basically stood still as three Saudi players slid around him as though they were children on an ice rink. The third goal was practically identical to the first when Dzyuba added to the tally. The fifth goal was one of those things that strikers pull late in the game because they know that if they miss, it soaks up the time; the fact that it went in merely served to prove the complete ineptitude of Saudi Arabia at this level - Cheryshev got his brace with an incredibly sharp strike. The fifth came off of a dead ball opportunity caused by inept Saudi falling over which brought down Cheryshev; which was slotted in by Golovin who curled it in around the wall from 22 yards.
5-0 is the sort of scoreline where you expect to see the cliché "Five Star" in the newspaper but on this occasion, the ***** aren't stars but asterisks for the list of everything wrong with Saudi Arabia. I honestly haven't seen a team play this badly since North Korea lost 7-0 against Portugal in 2010.
We learnt nothing new from this match at all. What this result did was give Russia three points and a useful bank of goals which might help in the goal difference statistics.
Aside 1: I am deeply disappointed with the lack of Cyrillic ad boards in this tournament. As this is Russia, we should expect to see something exotic. I think that the only real advertising that I saw in Cyrillic script was a McDonald's advert which I'm assuming said "Lovin' It" in Russian. I honestly think that I saw more adverts in Simplified Chinese, which although it is cool, just doesn't seem very Russians to me.
Aside 2: Saudi Arabia's kit was an all green Nike kit with the only things that identified it as theirs was the national patch on the left hand side. Everything about it was so generic that it could have easily been a high school football kit. Russia's was far far better as it's Adidas kit kind of recalled the ex-Soviet kits of the past.
Aside 3: I am also disappointed that there is no standard set of kit letters and numbers. A tournament like this should be defined by the unity of graphics that are specific to the tournament. The English Premier League, the English Championship and lower leagues, the AFL, NRL and A-League in Australia all have their own league wide set of kits and numbers and for the World Cup not to, is a blind spot on the biggest stage in the biggest sporting event in the world.
¹The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Index of Democracy - https://www.economist.com/media/pdf/DEMOCRACY_INDEX_2007_v3.pdf
²The effect is shattering
Gazinsky 12'
Cheryshev 43'
Dzyuba 71'
Cheryshev 91'
Golovin 94'
The tradition of the home side of the tournament winning the opening game of the tournament has been continued in most emphatic fashion as Russia tore apart Saudi Arabia in a 5-0 demolition job. Not since the annexation of the Crimea have we seen Russians do a job so competently and with such little resistance. Before the World Cup, Russia hadn't won a game since November last year and although that isn't the best recipe for success, they needn't have worried as Saudi Arabia haven't won a match at the World Cup proper since 25th Jun 1994 when they beat Morocco. That's so long ago that many of the Saudi Arabian players hadn't even been born yet.
Having seen Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup qualifiers, I can say that they play dogged football but if they happen to be losing, then suddenly turn into a bunch of cheating thugs. This tactic works in the Asian Cup and in the qualifiers where the standard of refereeing isn't up to par and where the enticement of millions of petrodollars doesn't seem to work. No, if you want to use petrodollars and bribery to work at the World Cup, you need next level corruption and bribery to host the tournament; which is why the 2018 World Cup is in Russia and why the 2022 World Cup will be in Qatar despite it being completely unsuitable to hold a tournament and despite them not actually fulfilling the requirements for either having or building the minimum number of stadia.
You can expect a lot of falling over to extract free kicks, or of they are not in possession of the ball, a lot of tackles which would usually belong on a rugby pitch. However, as we had a referee who frequently waved "play on" and didn't fall for the Saudis' falling over, they soon learnt that this was useless and stopped it pretty early in the match.
As a fun aside, as this was the match between the combined least democratic nations in the history of the World Cup (according to the democracy index published by The Economist¹), then as a result we saw lots of camera shots of very wealthy shieks in the telecast, who will alternated between calm serenity to abject screaming. There was also quite a lot of airtime given to who I can only presume was King Saud of Saudi Arabia and Russian President Vladimir Putin, who wore a business suit because sitting on a horse while not wearing a shirt is not advisable. The not wearing of shirts would be normally strictly limited to hordes of pasty white drunk Europeans, except that this tournament being held in Russia is likely to have you arrested for homophobic reasons rather than public drunkenness. Walking around in June with a bottle of vodka yelling "Jingle Bells, you suck!" isn't usually considered as Christmas carolling but this being Russia, even Snow White thought that 7up was a soft drink before she discovered Smirnoff².
As for the actual match itself, Saudi Arabia sat very high on the pitch, which usually works in Asia because they can camp in the opposition's half quite effectively but as Russia is a European team, those tactics went out in about 1986 and were completely worked out by Italia '90. Russia were not only content to have the Saudis sit that high against them but welcomed it because Saudi Arabia is more toothless than Grandpa after he's put his dentures in a glass of water beside the bed. Russia would have played a hold and contain type game except there was nothing to hold or contain and they were frequently able to just walk up and steal the ball away. The number of completed passes was skewed heavily in Saudi Arabia's favour because they donkeyed the ball about so very very much.
The first of Russia's goals came off of the end of a curled cross which was duly headed in by Gazinsky. The second was caused by a complete brain explosion when Cheryshev basically stood still as three Saudi players slid around him as though they were children on an ice rink. The third goal was practically identical to the first when Dzyuba added to the tally. The fifth goal was one of those things that strikers pull late in the game because they know that if they miss, it soaks up the time; the fact that it went in merely served to prove the complete ineptitude of Saudi Arabia at this level - Cheryshev got his brace with an incredibly sharp strike. The fifth came off of a dead ball opportunity caused by inept Saudi falling over which brought down Cheryshev; which was slotted in by Golovin who curled it in around the wall from 22 yards.
5-0 is the sort of scoreline where you expect to see the cliché "Five Star" in the newspaper but on this occasion, the ***** aren't stars but asterisks for the list of everything wrong with Saudi Arabia. I honestly haven't seen a team play this badly since North Korea lost 7-0 against Portugal in 2010.
We learnt nothing new from this match at all. What this result did was give Russia three points and a useful bank of goals which might help in the goal difference statistics.
Aside 1: I am deeply disappointed with the lack of Cyrillic ad boards in this tournament. As this is Russia, we should expect to see something exotic. I think that the only real advertising that I saw in Cyrillic script was a McDonald's advert which I'm assuming said "Lovin' It" in Russian. I honestly think that I saw more adverts in Simplified Chinese, which although it is cool, just doesn't seem very Russians to me.
Aside 2: Saudi Arabia's kit was an all green Nike kit with the only things that identified it as theirs was the national patch on the left hand side. Everything about it was so generic that it could have easily been a high school football kit. Russia's was far far better as it's Adidas kit kind of recalled the ex-Soviet kits of the past.
Aside 3: I am also disappointed that there is no standard set of kit letters and numbers. A tournament like this should be defined by the unity of graphics that are specific to the tournament. The English Premier League, the English Championship and lower leagues, the AFL, NRL and A-League in Australia all have their own league wide set of kits and numbers and for the World Cup not to, is a blind spot on the biggest stage in the biggest sporting event in the world.
¹The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Index of Democracy - https://www.economist.com/media/pdf/DEMOCRACY_INDEX_2007_v3.pdf
²The effect is shattering
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