Horse 2740 - OPERATION CHAINSAW!!!

Anyone who has studied Australian history should be familiar with the idea that Australia is a federation of unfriendly powers who inhabit the same island continent. Indeed it was quite possible that instead of having one country occupy this continent, we could have very well had several. Admittedly that might mean that we would be at constant war with each other but that's not a lot different from what happens now at every COAG meeting. During the process of arguing about federation, both Fiji and New Zealand decided that they didn't want to be part of it after all and so didn't send any delegates to the final constitutional convention.
Contained within the history of Australia, is the story of the colonies becoming separate from each other. In fact, prior to 1829, it might have been legally the case that the entire continent belonged to New South Wales. Thus the history of the various proclamations of the colonies which finally became the states and territories, should be properly seen as a bunch of inferior ne'er-do-wells deciding that they weren't good enough to be part of the glorious state of New South Wales. It is not by accident that the number plates of New South Wales have borne the legend of "The First State" or "The Premier State"; in part because we're too modest to tell the truth and put "The Best State" or "You Are All Inferior" on our number plates.

Also, we have seen since 1788, the borders of New South Wales gradually shrink as the inferior ne'er-do-wells decided to claim their own bits of dirt. Naturally we as the magnanimous ambassadors of truth and justice, we let them have at it but to be honest, we don't really want to be reinfected with stupidity. Hence why New South Wales embarked on the noble project of Operation Chainsaw.

Operation Chainsaw is quite simply, the cutting off of all the bits of Australia that are clearly useless and pathetic.

It should be noted that we the people of New South Wales were the ones responsible for cutting off New Zealand and Tasmania from the mainland. Although history records that Abel Tasman circumnavigated Tasmania, we now know that that was impossible for two reasons. Firstly that he was Dutch and therefore probably on drugs and was lying and Secondly, history doesn't happen until the British Empire does it.  That's the reason why Tenzing Norgay isn't credited with being the first person to climb Mount Everest, despite probably having been up hundreds of times. New Zealand also used to be attached to Australia before we the good and noble people decided to cut it off as well.
This is why both Tasmania and New Zealand have just sort of floated off into the ocean. There isn't really much of a point to those things and so if we let them float away, then we don't really have to worry about them any more. New Zealand has floated so far away that they became their own country and to be fair, we're fine with that.

This brings us nicely to the subject of Victoria and Queensland. Queensland is interesting because it knows that it is useless. In fact, in 1922 the Queensland Legislative Council (that is the upper house) voted itself out of existence; which is why Queensland only has a unicameral parliament. Victoria on the other hand, had a eureka moment once but hasn't quite worked out exactly what it is for. I suppose that this is what happens when your creation myth involves someone called Batman.
This is what Operation Chainsaw is about. Quite simply, we the people of New South Wales are using giant chainsaws to cut off both Victoria and Queensland in the hopes that they'll float away like Tasmania and New Zealand already have done.

The straight lines on the map are the proposed cut lines. One should remember the wise saw from carpentry which says that you should "measure twice and cut once"; which means that one should double-check one's measurements for accuracy before cutting a piece of wood; otherwise it may be necessary to cut again, wasting time and material. While that might be easy to say, in practice it is very hard; especially if you are using a giant continent cutting chainsaw. The proposed lines are straight but it's all gone a bit wiggly.

Of course to hide the fact that we are trying to cut away to clearly useless bits of this island continent, we have labelled our chainsaw lines as rivers. Legally speaking, the border between New South Wales and Victoria is the southern bank of the Murray River and the border with Queensland is the northern bank of the various rivers. The reason is that they're not really rivers, they're just the cuts between the states that have filled up with water.
Eventually the plan is to cut all the way to Cameron Corner and then turn downwards and in the south, cut right through the mountains to Cape Howe. It's just that cutting through mountains is hard; which is why we had a test go at it and accidentally invented the Snowy Mountains Hydro Electric Scheme.

Hopefully we'll get this done sooner rather than later because Victoria is clearly a virus hotspot with all of their latte driven insanity and Queensland is just downright bonkers; having been responsible for inventing Pauline Hanson, Barnaby Joyce and Clive Palmer. I don't know what kind of biological program that Queensland is undertaking but if that's the result, we are well advised to get our chainsaws operating faster. Queensland also doesn't believe in Daylight Savings time; which because of the time difference, if it is 8:30pm in Sydney, it is the mid-1970s in Brisbane.

Note:
Some parts of this post are lies. Actually, lots are.