Horse 2827 - The Holiday Fun Quiz Pull-Out Section

A lot of you (and by a lot I mean one person on Facebook) wanted to know if The Horse has ever published any sub sections. That would imply that The Horse as a semi legitimate (rather than a mostly illogical) publication has subsections that can be removed, as though it were a newspaper. Owing to the nature of the internet, that's somewhat difficult but in its stead I present...

The Horse 2021 Fun Quiz.

Q1. Which is the best Lord?
a) of the Rings
b) of the Flies
c) of the Dance
d) North


Q2. Why is mother superior?


Q3. Match the Seven Dwarfs to the correct Sin?
a) wrath
b) sloth
c) envy
d) pride
e) lust
f) greed
g) gluttony
A) Sleepy
B) Sneezy
C) Bashful
D) Dopey
E) Happy
F) Grumpy
G) Doc


Q4.Who would win in a fight?
a) a nonillion lions
b) the sun
c) The Public Disorder Act 1846
d) Martin Skrtel armed with a pea


Q5. Assuming that you are stuck in a locked room with armed secret agents who have the power to kill you and literally anything you told them they would instantly believe, what outlandish thing world you try to convince them of?


Q6. Which is the best General?
a) Pants
b) Strike
c) Electric
d) Disorder


Q7. Which would be easier to sell to consumers?
a) pizza flavoured ice cream
b) bacon flavoured cola
c) fried chicken scented deodorant
d) marshmallow steak marinade


Q8. Who would win a TV political debate between:
a) Fat Cat
b) Prime Possum
c) NBN Big Dog
d) Humphrey B Bear


Q9. How many is too many?


Q10. If you were suddenly turned into a superhero, which superpower do you most want?
a) flight
b) telekinesis
c) x-ray vision
d) the Soviet Union


Q11. With reference to question 5, how many lions would you need to create a sufficiently large mass of lions that would produce its own event horizon and thus black hole?


Q12. What in?
a) tarnation
b) holleration
c) hateration
d) damnation


Q13. What is the weirdest?
a) cow on a train
b) snakes on a plane
c) horse in a hospital
d) goat in a library


Q14. Would you violate Anti-Discrimination laws if it meant not employing a Dracula?


Q15. If Eugene Cernan had left a bacon sandwich on the moon, di you think that it would be safe to eat more than 50 years later?
Q15a. If given the opportunity to eat said bacon sandwich, would you?


Q16. What is responsible for the world's biggest blockages?
a) cholesterol
b) Mitch McConnell
c) Ever Given
d) Barbie heads


Q17. Are you ready to rock?


Q18. I said, are you ready to rock?


Q19. Which weighs more?
a) a ton of bricks
b) a ton to feathers
c) a ton of lies
d) expectations


Q20. What do these TLAs stand for?
a) KFC
b) ATM
c) Thomas Leonard Andersson
d) EMI


Q21. What won't Thomas Leonard Andersson stand for?
a) this
b) shoddy customer service
c) parliament
d) the national anthem


Q22. Which is the best Martin?
a) Doctor
b) House
c) Chuzzlewit
d) Place


Q23. What do you think should have happened to?
a) Edwin Drood
b) The Likely Lads
c) predictability
d) Fingle Blunt


Q24. What should be the next state added to Australia?
a) Northern Territory
b) New England
c) Northern Queensland
d) Confusion


Q25. Which shape has the most sides?
a) Pentagon
b) Hexagon
c) Oregon
d) Kentagon


Q26. Revenge...
a) of the Nerds
b) of the Sith
c) of Montezuma
d) is a dish served cold.


Q27. Que Sera Sera...
a) whatever will be will be
b) plain and tall
c) Lee
d) boing boing ding ding llama llama boing boing ding ding


Q28a. Why does it always rain on me?
Q28b. Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?


Q29. What is my favourite number?
a) 12
b) π
c) 'You'll Never Walk Alone' from Rogers and Hammerstein's 'Carousel'
d) 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3


Q30. Who put the bomp in the bomp she-bomp she-bomp?


Q31. What is the best fruit?
a) the fruit of the loom
b) the fruits of labour
c) the fruits of the spirit
d) a Banana Republic


Q32. Who let the dogs out?


Q33. Why is a raven like a writing desk?


Q34a. Do you think that the Pope should be allowed to issue Papal Bulls?
Q34b. What about other livestock?


Q35. Do you prefer Charles I as a...
a) mad king
b) bad king
c) sad king
d) dead king
e) Chun King


Q36. The best moves are the ones that...
a) are made with grace
b) zugzwang the opponent
c) move like Jagger
d) happen with a ute


Q37. Is this the way to Amarillo?


Q38. Which is the best can?
a) aluminium can
b) tin can
c) Mexican
d) Yes we can


Q39. Which tribe would win in a fight?
a) Israelite
b) Hittite
c) Dynamite
d) Vegemite


Q40. Who is the best Tim?
a) the Enchanter
b) the Tool Man
c) Berners-Lee
d) Tam


Do the quiz and mail it to yourself. When you get it back in the post, mark it anyway you like.


How did you do?


40/40 - Excellent. You may now practice either medicine in a court of law, or practice law in an operating theatre.
35-39/40 - Good. You may now command an unholy kitten army of the night and are now allowed to conduct raids upon Bronze Age civilizations.
20-34/40 - Okay. You may now make toast.
0-19/40 - Bad. You must review and take the quiz again in three months' time.
Less than 0/40 - Amazing. Honesty is your most lovely quality and you are now allowed to be the Premier of your State Government.