September 01, 2005

Horse 395 - Black Betty

Black Betty is the historical epic based on the life of a genteel African-American matriarch. The account of "Black" Betty Bambalam does not give any detail as to when she lived but many facts from the documents penned by acclaimed historian Ram Jam and more recently republished by Spiderbait Inc. give many insights to her life.

Betty Bambalam was the mother of a single child who was born blind. This led to the child being socially maladjusted and consequently resulted in Betty's mental breakdown. This factor was obviously counteracted by other things though.

We do know from the evidence that Betty Bambalam lived in the city of Birmingham, Alabama. Not to be confused with Birmingham in the Midlands of England which would have made her a Brummie.

It is not know exactly how Betty was employed, however we do have several clues. The phrase "she get's me high" is from the author's personal experience, so this tends to make one wonder if she was either a crane operator or an elevator operator.

There are two points of conjecture in Ram Jam's account. Black Betty is both described as being rock steady which may either refer to her skill in operating equipment or her general mental state as discussed earlier.

One of the most ambiguous portion of Ram Jam's diatribe is the unspecified fact that Black Betty made him sing. Again whether this is a direct order or a response is a matter of dispute.
There is also the issue of "shaking that thing". What "that thing" actually is, is totally unknown. It could be uncouth and suggestive of Betty's anatomy or perhaps of the machinery she happened to be operating.

Ram Jam's account leaves much to be desired, but sadly it is one of the few documents that we have on the life of Black Betty Bambalam.


Katja said...

And I suppose Abends in der Puff is all about old farts wearing smoking jackets discussing the rise and fall of the stock market.

Phillip said...

Tutti Fruitti is about what we call in Australia, Neopolitan pancakes.

It could be about that weird red pancake you get at IHOP as well.

Anonymous said...

Neopolitan ICE CREAM. D'oh!
Gee I'm a dweeb.