July 06, 2006

Horse 585 - Aye The Noo

The fine people of that country north of Hadrian's Wall are reknowned the world over for several things. Their whisky which is a lovely soothing drink that can be enjoyed by all and often leads to windows being broken and sectarian violence at football matches. The other primary thing that one usually thinks of when one mentions the Scots are their inadequate trousers that have a rather skirty sort of feel. To complete the look they will often carry a set of bagpipes with sound like a cat being strangled (in an entirely different way to the way Wagner sounds), and that other almost redundant pouch, the sporran.

Because apparantly I do have some Scottish heritage, I am entitled to wear a tartan, though it must be said the only tarten that I would knowingly choose would be the Stewart F1 racing tartan from 2001. The next question I need to ask when I purchase my Scottish attire would be "what is kept in a sporran anyway?". The answer from what I can gather is surprisingly utalitarian.

I must admit that what I would keep in my sporran would be different to what it would have been in the past. Following in incident with yoghurt a few years ago, I have learnt not to keep perishables in my sporran.

Look as you might you will not find cheese or even come cold sliced pieces of meat for a snack. Now it's all stationary, tissues, a selection of pencils (go on take one), I really don't mind. Underpants, Mars Bars, Milky Ways, and occasional bus tickets for those journeys across town, mind you, you do not actually want to take a seat on the bus for fear of someone looking upwards.

I suspect that traditionally one should keep items like gun powder and buckshot in a sporran though without a military context all that you could expect to find in your average Scotsman's sporran are things like keys, a money clip, credit cards, and identification of some sort. Personally I prefer a decent HB.

1 comment:

Katja said...

I'm a Boyd and the tartan colors look like something used for Christmas decoration. Really generic.

I kinda think guys look handsome in a kilt and a Glengarry all that stuff. It's cute.

One ought to carry a can of Bug-off in the sporran.