Newsdesk Sydney:
Concerns this week about Covid-19, a.k.a. the Coronavirus, a.k.a. the Wuhan Flu, have themselves mutated into a new strain of meta virus called Coroniavirusvirus.
Coronavirusvirus appears to incubate as a form of mostly undetected paranoia, which is covalent with seemingly normal concerns about human rights abuses, censorship, and authoritarian concerns about the Chinese Government. This mostly undetected paranoia appears to incubate for approximately three weeks, and is exacerbated by a diet of 2GB, 4BC, 5AA, the Courier-Mail, Daily Telegraph, Adelaide Advertiser, Herald-Sun, Sky News, or any combination of these things.
If left untreated, Coronavirusvirus manifests itself in racist sentiment and actions with zero basis in either fact or reality. Coronavirusvirus also appears to leave the sufferer in a state of prosopagnosia and ageographia, where they think that all people from Asia look the same and come from the same place.
In the worst cases, untreated Coronavirusvirus results in racist abuse being vomited from the mouth of the sufferer, and a general sort of paranoia which prevents them from normal interactions with Chinese people, people of Asian descent, and even people who have been born in Australia and have never actually been to either China or Asia generally in their lives.
The medical association advises that people who are beginning to suffer from the effects of Coronavirusvirus, to stop listening and watching paranoia inducing right wing media, flush out their brains with actual facts, and avoid all social media including Twitter and Facebook. Further suggestions from the medical association in dealing with the Coronavirusvirus include proactive interaction with people from China and Asia, patronage of their businesses including shops, supermarkets, and restaurants, and actually talking to people who look a bit different to you.
If the effects of Coronavirusvirus are too severe and has manifested itself in full blown racism, then treatment includes quarantining such people and removing all of their radios, televisions and all internet connected devices, and preventing them from any embarrassing social interactions; so that they will not be racist racist knaves.
If you find yourself beginning to suffer from the effects of Coronavirusvirus, please consider also doing likewise, or else prepare to be muted or blocked on social media by people who do not have the Coronavirusvirus.
Supplementary:
One of the observed effects of the Coronavirusvirus is that sufferers will also avoid the Mexican lager Corona. While this publication would normally advise that this kind of action is demonstration of unreasonable paranoia, Horse still advises that the Mexican lager Corona should be avoided, as any lager which is so terrible that it can only be improved with a slice of lime deserves normal unparanoid condemnation.
This publication also advises that people avoid late 1970s and early 1980s Toyota Coronas and even Toyotas generally, as excessive use will manifest in the wearing of brown clothes, and becoming insanely boring. In most circumstances, substitution of a Mazda is the best policy.
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