Horse 2914 - Garlic Bread and Contentment

There was a tweet which came across my feed repeatedly last Friday which asked the following:

What do you want in October to complete your happiness?

Like or retweet.

My initial thought was that this was a stupid question because happiness is an emotion; which acts more like a weathervane or a barometer. Emotions are as variable as the weather; so the idea that they can be completed is a nonsense.

My second thought was that this was a stupid question because wish fulfilment by randomly yelling into the void rarely works. 

The stream of comments which followed on from this are a myriad horde of people wishing that they had more money or expressing sadness. That in itself is a bit sad. This was a practical demonstration of loads of people chasing after the wind; trying to grasp within their hands something which is inherently unstable and uncatchable.

Except for one comment which simply read:

"Garlic Bread.

I am content with Garlic Bread. It is enough."

I think that this particular comment, sounds very much like the philosopher Epicurus who in about 340BCE decided that his checklist for happiness included:

- a pot of cheese

- a jug of wine

- a garden

- some friends to enjoy them with

Epicurus went on to write that there is a kind of freedom which comes when one is not stirred up by the difficulties and disturbances of the world. He called it in Greek: ataraxia.

Admittedly his name and ideas of eudemonia and what constitutes living well are often not particularly cared about and his name is often applied to just food but as the above suggests, he thought simplicity was just as, if not, more good than a banquet. In those simple things he hoped to find contentment.

It must be stated that more than 2200 years later, in an era when you can buy practically anything that you can think of, that society still hasn't invented much in the way of a fire extinguisher, to put out the raging fires of inextinguishable discontent. 

It is like society is engaged in a perpetual and unsatisfiable quest to buy a better job, a better house, a better car, better stuff, and better experiences. 

On top of never being satisfied and never content, people also have a tendency to be envious of those who have the things that we haven't accumulated or attained.

On top of that, there is a very strong tendency in politics once people have attained things and accumulated advantage, to ensure that other people don't have access to that same level of attainment. This is certainly true when it comes to wages, education, health care, and even access to infrastructure; where those who have want more and they also want to take away the little that other people have as well.

Don't get me wrong. I do not think that it is insensible to want things. Nay, wanting things because they are nice to have, or because they are important, or because you actually need them isn't bad of itself. Wanting things and wanting things to be better, might very well be a rational response to the world. It is when that spills over the border and into irrationality and unfettered control of desire that there is a problem. 

In principle, Contentment isn't actually only about denying one's feelings about wanting and desiring what one can't have, but instead it exhibits a freedom from being controlled by those feelings.

Contentment isn't pretending things are right when they are not because clearly that's a denial of reality but instead it displays the peace that comes from knowing that problems might have solutions or perhaps even accepting that they might not and being fine with the thought. 

That means that Contentment can not be contingent upon on keeping circumstances under control because yet again that might involve denying reality itself, but rather finding joy in spite of circumstances. The paradox here is that of itself, that sounds nonsensical and foolish.

The majority of people in our society are like a box of barometers which can detect when happiness exists and then as soon as that thing passes, they feel disappointed. This is different to depression and anxiety issues; which have underlying and ill understood physiological causes. I do not wish to undermine or deny mental illness. However, I do wonder what happens if people experience a kind of pseudo happiness which comes for a time and then quickly evaporates. Does that act as a framing device for what life is? 

It is easy to hope that the next superficial satisfaction will last, but that kind of happiness is like fairy floss at the fun fair. It is saccharin sweet for a only just a moment and then instantly dissolves. A person who is happy because she they are on the sands of Vanuatu on holiday, is a person who has only a few days to be happy. A person who has learned to cultivate deep-down contentment will be a consistently joyful person wherever they are. Again, this is almost a nonsensical paradox.

What are we left to ask then? Is there some secret to long term contentment? It seems to me as an observer of people across different economic spectra that it is impossible to depend upon contentment to fall into our laps from education, money, or status because contentment arises from some other source that money and material possessions cannot purchase.

Those things we expect to bring contentment surprisingly do not.

The secret of contentment is hidden from the casual observer. What is that secret?

Old people generally are more content than younger people, even if they are in relatively diminished circumstances. I suspect that it has a lot to do with quietly not giving a hoot about things. I suspect that it also has to do with the gradual process that people go through as they quietly cease to give a hoot about their own screw ups.

I do not think that one can hope to gain long lasting contentment while holding on to past failures and mistakes; either other people's or our own. I also think that there is a category difference between ignoring past wrongs which means denying reality and forgetting past wrongs.

Forgetting wrongs means that we have to probably work through the process of forgiving other people. That of itself sounds difficult. Forgiveness of other people and even ourselves, isn't something that comes easily to anyone. 

It seems to me that walking around carrying boxes marked "should've", "didn't", "hadn't" and "if only", requires a lot of work of itself. Laying those boxes aside, looking at them, taking stock, articulating them, and writing them off, might take time. 

Getting back to our friend who said that:

"Garlic Bread.

I am content with Garlic Bread. It is enough."

...is also instructive. Firstly it doesn't demand the unattainable and so can not really be disappointed if it does not arrive. Secondly and more importantly, it expresses a quiet joy in simplicity. Thirdly, it sets a specific limit which is adequate for the want or need; and which is sufficient for the purpose of satisfying desire. 

Garlic Bread probably is enough for this person to be content. I think that's quietly brilliant.