Horse 2973 - Ending Salutations

I learned a very long time ago that starting a letter with Dear Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Mde, etc. is so fraught with social minefields that you may as well never bother. Mistaking a gender, or mistaking marital status, especially when dealing with Family Law situations where everyone hates everyone, is tantamount to genocide, use of atomic weapons, or using the wrong fish fork, in some people's eyes.

Never ever ever ever ever start a letter with Dear M. Banana.

By the same token, if they have a Doctorate (either earned or conferred), if they are a Professor, or a Knight or Dame, then Dear Dr. Banana, Dear Sir Banana, Dear Professor Banana, or dear Lady Banana, is acceptable.

What about at the end of a letter? Why is "Yours sincerely" acceptable? Most of the people that I know aren't sincere about anything. "Yours truly" isn't much better because that sounds way to intimate to be real. "Yours"? Well that's not anything.

"Love" such and such is only acceptable if you love the person. "Regards", "Kind regards", "Best regards" etc only makes sense if you bear any regard for the person at the other end. What if you do not? What if you think that the person that you are sending a letter to is a guttersnipe and a knave? Then what? 

I have seen odd things like "Pumpkins and Penguins", "Per Ad Ardua Astra", and puns to do with the person's name and they're fine provided that the context of the letter allows for it.

"Humbly", "Dutifully", and "I have the honor to be your obedient servant", might indicate anything from admiration to abject wrath. The latter was famously used in a series of exchanges of correspondence between Vice-President Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton; culminating in the death by dueling pistol of the latter by the former. I have on occasion used "I have the honor to be your obedient servant" if I want the recipient to know that I am very very angry indeed with them. Polite and calm anger is way more intimidating than mere abuse and mindless loudness.

I personally like to use the salutation "Thank you," because as with any time and space that someone has afforded you, giving thanks to them is both reasonable and nice. "Thank you," can be put at the end of any letter regardless of formality and in any physical space from a small community group, to the parliament and even a packed Opera House or Royal Albert Hall and it is all acceptable.

Most recently I have ended emails with "Thank you for your kind concern," "Grace and Peace," and "Thank you for your kindness," to people that have been kind to me during this period of convalescence (see previous editions of Horse) and I think that they are reasonable ways to end a letter/email.

Recently, I have received both endings of emails of "Awooogah," which was in reference to something that I do not understand and "Salutations," which might be as useful and formal as saying "Thank you," at the end of a letter.

However, the best ending salutation that I have seen at the end of an email recently was "Bum Worms" in reference to an episode of Bluey.

That's pretty neat.

I do not advise ending your formal letter to an insurance company, a judge, your accountant, a pastor, or parole officer, with "Bum Worms" unless you are on really good terms with them.