May 15, 2005

Horse 342 - God's Football Team

The reason why I wrote this is because that Manchester Utd has had even more of the shares bought by the American investor Glazier. Who would have thought that even the Devil (albeit red) would sell his soul? And to an American no less!

What then would the football team of God look like?* I surmise that it would have a few interesting features that no other team would.

God would certainly be the manager. Think about it, he doesn't actually need any of us to do his work but actually chooses us. The manager's job is one of selection for game day but he also is responsible for the training of the team and for team discipline. God certainly trains and disciplines his workers where appropriate. The analogy falls apart in all sorts of areas, and especially when it comes to the manager himself. The manager usually stands in a box called the technical area. Given that God is omnipresent and is therefore everywhere, it's stupid to try and confine him in a box.

I also think that the team would be rather Italian in nature. When the Bible talks about the whole armor of God, most of the items (shields, breastplates etc) are defensive in nature. Also the bible often talk about great battles in the end times but ultimately God does all the work anyway. So taking this to its logical conclusion, the Holy Spirit would be the lone striker (as he's the only one who actually changes the results) and the church would be behind him in a 5-4-1 formation.

The other reason why I think that it would be like this is because of the person of Jesus - he'd be the goalkeeper. Great teams are built around the goalkeeper being the cornerstone and safeguard. Jesus would be behind the last line of defence watching over them, sending the players forwards. There is always the obvious call that as goalkeeper, Jesus saves.

What about the stadium? Like Anfield it wouldn't have a clock as God isn't bound by time. Nor would it have lighting towers as it would be filled with the glory of God. I don't know it you've ever noticed this but of all the religions only Christians ever seem to sing. I also am reminded of all of those weird looking things with the wings who sing night and day. I figure that the noise from the home end must be uttlerly glorious.

The record of the side I estimate would be from 38 games: 38 wins, no losses, 114 points and 117 goals for and none conceeded. Sure there'd be times when there'd only be a 1-0 victory, but this would be the fault of the 9 rather than the striker or the goalkeeper. There'd also be times when the opposition would be overwhelmed and helpless with results of 3, 4 maybe even beyond 7 goals a game.

The team would be playing in an all white strip, and despite there being different players in the midfield and defence, the manager, striker and goalkeeper would always be the same (I the Lord do not change).

My only other problem is that the game would be outside the gates, because as we all know - rugby is the game they play in heaven.

*If God did have one, I'd go out and get the kit, the scarves and the air fresheners tommorrow. Not to mention the commerative Quadruple winning DVD's the bedsheets and the photo books. You'd be stupid not to.

1 comment:

Derik said...

It isn't fair how much God spends on players, just think of the price that was paid to get the members of his team.

Who else can afford/would bother to spend that?