March 18, 2008

The Geordie Thermometer

Stolen but well worth it...

Southerners turn on their heating.
Geordies plant their gardens.

Southerners shiver uncontrollably.
Geordies Sunbathe.

Southern cars will not start.
Geordies drive with their windows down

Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
Geordies throw a t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)

Southerners begin to Evacuate.
Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.

Southern landlords turn up the heat.
Geordies have the last barbecue before it gets cold.

Southerners cease to exist.
Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.

Polar bears wonder if it’s worth it.
Geordie Boy Scouts start wearing long trousers.

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Geordies put on their long johns.

Alcohol freezes.
Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.

Microbiological life starts to disappear.
The cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.

All atomic motion stops.
Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.

Hell freezes over.
Sunderland qualify for Europe

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