The Geordie Thermometer

Stolen but well worth it...

10°C
Southerners turn on their heating.
Geordies plant their gardens.

5°C
Southerners shiver uncontrollably.
Geordies Sunbathe.

0°C
Southern cars will not start.
Geordies drive with their windows down

-5°C
Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
Geordies throw a t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)

-10°C
Southerners begin to Evacuate.
Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.

-20°C
Southern landlords turn up the heat.
Geordies have the last barbecue before it gets cold.

-30°C
Southerners cease to exist.
Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.

-60°C
Polar bears wonder if it’s worth it.
Geordie Boy Scouts start wearing long trousers.

-80°C
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Geordies put on their long johns.

-113°C
Alcohol freezes.
Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.

-182°C
Microbiological life starts to disappear.
The cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.

-273°C
All atomic motion stops.
Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.

-300°C
Hell freezes over.
Sunderland qualify for Europe