June 23, 2008

Horse 889 - Australia are World Champions!

http://www.theage.com.au/news/health/australia-now-worlds-fattest-nation/2008/06/19/1213770886872.html From The Age - Blogger has decided that it hates links.

Australia has become the fattest nation in the world, with more than 9 million adults now rated as obese or overweight, according to an alarming new report.
The most definitive picture of the national obesity crisis to date has found that Australians now outweigh Americans and face a future "fat bomb" that could cause 123,000 premature deaths over the next two decades.

If the crisis is not averted, obesity experts have warned, health costs could top $6 billion and an extra 700,000 people will be admitted to hospital for heart attacks, strokes and blood clots caused by excess weight.
The latest figures show 4 million Australians — or 26% of the adult population — are now obese compared to an estimated 25% of Americans. A further 5 million Australians are considered overweight.


All the way back in Horse 14, 5 years and 12 days ago, figures showed that 60% of the population was overweight. Today, we've reached a new level by bettering America and becoming World Champions at being lard buckets. 1 in 4 adults is now obese. What went wrong Australia? I can't believe this! This is disgraceful. For a nation that's supposed to be renowned for being sport-loving, how did we become a nation of purile purulent porkers?

Obesity is the only disease I have ever heard of that can be described as "morbid". You don't for instance hear of "morbid bronchitis" do you? No! It's like they some how needed another category for super-duper-fat people - I don't see what was wrong with the old schoolyard tag of "Fatty-boom-bah". C'mon Australia we need to try harder!

It stands to reason that physicians can not prevent chronic disease or the complications of chronic disease. It is the responsibility of the patient to prevent chronic diseases and its complications. The patient has to change their lifestyle. Poor lifestyle choices lead to chronic disease and it’s complications! Society does not "cause" a smoker to get lung cancer - Nope, it is the individual's fault over many years by making deliberate choices. Yes, you heard me - Choices. Although this is going to sound insensitive, here goes: being obese is a choice made over several years; it doesn't happen overnight but it does happen. It is your choice to shove inordinate amounts of food down your gullets Australia. It's as much a choice as smoking, drinking, not wearing a seatbelt or any other range of really stupid stuff people do that can lead to them dying.

This rant could end here and now but guess what? I have a solution Australia, and it comes in two parts:

1. The MMORPG: Outside!
This RPG requires zero monthly fees, has a massive fully rendered and textured world to explore and has amazing terrains and real-time processing of weather. The AI of the NPCs ranges from one dimensional to utterly staggeringly intelligent and there are about 95,500 different character archtypes. It's fully PvP and comes in Super XHD at 6.3 Megapixel and Dolby 12.4.

But it requires you to GO OUTSIDE YOU FATTY-BOOM-BAHS!

2. The other part involves just one simple pill - just one.
But Rollo, you're suggesting that obesity can be cured with a pill? Indeed I am. It weighs 454g or 1lb. in the old measures and is 27 inches in circumference. This pill is not taken internally but kicked repeatedly or if your name happens to be Bill Ellis, picked up and carried. I'm talking about footballs!
Whilst going outside might be half the story, actually doing something out there is the other part of it. Kick a footy, run, ride a bike, do whatever it takes, padlock the fridge. We need to see arms throwing balls, fat legs runinng and plentiful chins frivolating.

I blame political correctness. Some time ago we decided that making fun of fat people might hurt their feelings so we told our kiddies not to and look what happened! Right before our very eyes we turned into the World Champions of being Chunky-Chunky-Gabuptas! That's not something we want to win, is it?


Anonymous said...

fat people cant help it. ur being rude and racist

Anonymous said...

if you want to be a fat porker, then that's your own choice. Don't pick on fat people, we might actually enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

u hav no rite to pick on big ppl u barstard