The Fake Internet Court of Australia
PORT ADELAIDE FOOTBALL CLUB v COLLINGWOOD FOOTBALL CLUB [2021] - Judgement
H2847/1
It has come to this fake internet court's attention that Collingwood Football Club somehow coerced and twisted the arm of the Australian Football league (AFL), into refusing Port Adelaide's request to play in their traditional black-and-white striped 'prison bars' guernsey against the Adelaide Crows, last month.
The AFL confirms it has not approved the request for Port Adelaide to wear a black and white striped 'prison bars' guernsey for the Round 8 match vs Adelaide Crows next week.
After reviewing the request from the Port Adelaide Football Club, the AFL determined the existing signed agreements between the Port Adelaide Football Club, Collingwood and the AFL on the use of the "prison bar" guernsey would remain in place.
In 2019, the AFL, Port Adelaide and Collingwood came to an agreement that allowed one-off approval for the 'prison bar' guernsey to be worn in Port Adelaide's home match against the Adelaide Crows to celebrate the Club's 150th anniversary.
That agreement, signed by all parties, stipulated the guernsey was specifically approved for Port Adelaide's use only for that single match in 2020 and Collingwood's approval did not bind it with respect to any other future proposals by the Port Adelaide Football Club in respect of the guernsey.
- The AFL, 29th Apr 2021
If that wasn't enough, Collingwood then had the audacity and sheer cheek to fly this banner before their match against Port Adelaide last weekend.
The issue that this court must decide is whether or not Collingwood has a right to protect what it sees as its intellectual property or whether or not it is unreasonable for them to do so.
These are the facts as this court sees them:
Collingwood began as a club in 1892 and was part of the initial core of clubs which founded the Victorian Football League in 1897. From the outset they have played in black and white stripes.
Port Adelaide Football Club began in 1870 as a joint football and cricket club and would play in the inaugural season of the South Australian National Football League in 1877. It has played in blue, pink, and magenta but only acquired its 'Prison Bar' uniform in 1902. Upon entry to the AFL in 1997, Port Adelaide was required to incorporate teal and remove stripes by the AFL to appease Collingwood. It was also required not to call itself the magpies.
Port Adelaide would like to play in its 'Prison Bar' uniform occasionally. Collingwood however, would like this never to be the case. The two clubs (Port Adelaide and Collingwood) have been engaged in this fiasco for a very long time, as Collingwood perpetually claims that Port Adelaide's 'Prison Bar' jumper is too similar to their black-and-white, striped guernsey.
It is the opinion of this court, that when Collingwood play North Melbourne that the two kits are practically identical. Navy Blue and Black are indistinguishable from each other from far away and Collingwood hasn't had a problem with North Melbourne in the more than a century that they have been in the same league.
Furthermore the experience of just about every single kind of sporting code in the world says that if you have two clubs that are in kits that would clash with each other (like Liverpool and Manchester United who would normally both play in read) that when they meet, one of them changes to some other colour. The idea of the away kit is a long established concept.
Collingwood however are not arguing that Port Adelaide shouldn't play in their black and white stripes when the two clubs meet. Collingwood are arguing that Port Adelaide shouldn't be allowed play in their black and white stripes ever; including when the two clubs do not meet.
Final Judgement:
It is the opinion of this fake internet court that Collingwood Football Club, all of their supporters, and especially Eddie Maguire, all need to put up and shut up. Good old Collingwood forever? This kind of carry on and stuff of nonsense is the stuff of two year old children. They know how to play the game? Clearly not, for they neither understand decency nor common sense.
Port Adelaide Football Club should be allowed to play in whatever they like when they aren't playing you and that includes black and white stripes. It is already a universally acknowledged fact that magpies are knaves and it follows that you Collingwood Football Club, who want to call yourselves "the Magpies", are also knaves. You have proven that you can not work well and play nicely with others.
Collingwood Football Club, you are guilty of both knavery and deliberate stupidity. You have brought hateration and holleration into this fake internet court and as you have no business deciding what other football teams wear when they aren't even playing you, we order you to cease, desist and stop this egregious pretense.
(this case will be reported in FILR as H2847/1 - Ed)
No comments:
Post a Comment