Regular readers of this blog will be aware that I think that too much sport is never enough and that unironic fandoms for everything is excellent. Politics is essentially a game to political football teams; and the result we saw last night was a 0-0 draw between Rolling Idiocy and Dramatic Incompetence. Fizzy drinks that taste of weirdness have long sorted themselves into rivalries with the red-v-blue derby of Cola-Cola and Pepsi, and now the tripartie energy drink rivalries of Monster, Red Bull, and V. And to complete the Rule of Three, we now have supermarkets also playing as football teams:
Fans disappointed after Aldi mistakenly advertises new store assistant jobs in Tasmania
- Pulse Tasmania, 11th Sep 2024
In the green corner we have Woolworths playing a traditional 4-4-2 against Coles who also play a similar formation, with Fruit and Veg up front, Meat and Cheese also playing in defence, Bread, Canned, Jar, and Boxed goods all playing in a solid midfield, with Frozen and Pet slamming it home. Impulse Buy plays a solid part to make sure that the customer does not get out without giving up every single red cent they can.
In the past there have been other teams playing for championship supremacy but most of those have either folded or been relegated to minor divisions. Bi-Lo, Jewel, Franklins, Flemings, IGA, Safeway, Roelf Vos, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, have all made tilts at the championship and have occasionally taken the title but the big two in the league have won the vast majority of flags.
Apparently, according to Pulse Tasmania, ALDI has "fans".
Seriously?
"Fans" of Aldi?
They exist?
Or rather... WHERE DO I SIGN UP?
A L D I, S Ü D K U R V E
ALDI SÜDKURVE!
Allez der ALDI Super, Allez Allez!
Allez der ALDI Super, Allez Allez!
Allez allez allez,
Allez allez allez,
Allez der ALDI Super, Allez Allez!
Rather, specifically in Australia we get ALDI Sud. ALDI Nord which is the other German club, was split off in the early years because they wanted to sell cigarettes and the two founding brothers had different ideas. ALDI Sud with no ALDI Nord playing in Australia, does not need the differentiating post-epithet; so is just ALDI.
ALDI does not play a traditional 4-4-2, though it does start out with Fruit and Veg and Meat and Cheese playing a solid line; but Bread, Canned, Jar and Frozen might be playing anywhere in the lineup.
ALDI's lineup gets really confusing in the midfield, where it decides to play "total supermarket" (as made famous by Rinus Michels), and absolutely anything can be in the middle: Lawnmower, Violin, Cheezels, Book, Garden Ornament, Helmet, Big Laundry, Work Shirt, Shoes... who knows what you are going to find playing in the middle of the park from week to week? Nobody. That's who.
Unlike the Socceroos where you might hear chants of "ARNOLD OUT, ARNOLD OUT", or Matildas fans clamouring for Gustavsson to go even though he brought never before seen success to the team, if the Aldi Ultras were to demand that one of the players such as Ski Mask or 60 Chips were to be stood down, they'd get it. The club management at ALDI is not afraid to try out new players and formations; which does make it difficult to find your favourite player sometimes (they might not even be playing) but at least they are trying to live up to their club motto of "Good. Different".
Things could have turned really nasty in season 2020/21 when everyone decided to make toilet paper casserole (there is no other sensible explanation as to why people wanted so much toilet paper during a respiratory disease pandemic - people had to have been eating the stuff), and shelves were completely empty on occasion. The ALDI Ultras could have gone berko and feral and brought out flares (including the ones that Suzi Quattro used to wear) and turned full-on hooligan. That did not happen but if there are ALDI Ultras, then who knows what kind of supermarket based shenaninganry we'd have?
I would be willing to be that just like the Bunnings Ultras can and do wear the Bunnings Straw hats like a bunch of Bavarianbauer, that if ALDI were to release a line of ALDI replica football kits, they'd sell loads. If that sounds daft, which it does, then remember that Pulse Tasmania thinks that ALDI has fans. Well they do now; I wanna be an ALDI Ultra!
Gib mir ein A - A
Gib mir ein L - L
Gib mir ein D - D
Gib mir ein I - I
Was bedeutet das? ALDI
Singen, ALDI ALDI ALDI Tätärä Tätärä Tätärä
Singen, ALDI ALDI ALDI Tätärä Tätärä Tätärä
Singen, ALDI ALDI ALDI Tätärä Tätärä Tätärä
Singen, ALDI ALDI ALDI Tätärä Tätärä Tätärä
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