There is a photograph on my camera which makes less than zero sense to me. So incredibly mind-boggling is it, that I simply have to ask the question...
Who is Caleee?
Moreover... what the jinkies is Caleee thinking?
This is genuinely baffling to me because I am simply unable to comprehend what has gone through Caleee's mind. Has anything at all gone through Caleee's mind? Maybe a 7.92mm shot from a standard issue European police pistol?
I did some basic research and found that this Lamborghini... has X numbers of horsepowers and... okay. I did not do any basic research at all, because this automotive cipher is so utterly pointless, that I can't even muster the care to do any.
When I saw this limp its way through traffic like an impatient seagull waiting to poop on an unsuspecting person, I genuinely though that this was a new Chevrolet Blazer and that this was an unmasked car on Trade Plates, trying to gauge interest. No. It is not. The fact that this grey blob may as well be a Chevrolet Blazer, means that it has failed the only thing which a Lamborghini should be for. Being cool.
America had the Cadillac and Corvette. These two were symbols of hideous gaudiness that aggressively did not care what you think. Cadillacs should have fins and plush seats as an overt display of deliberate tackiness. Cadillacs are for those people who want to display that they have the cash money cash money, but still want to go to a Burger King and drip grease all over their shirt front. A Corvette is a symbol which also aggressively did not care what you think, by coupling a somewhat cool looking car with an agricultural set of suspension geometry. Corvette is about power without glory or panache.
Italy has Maserati and Ferrari. Maseratis are for people whose star is fading. These are the kinds of people who wrap a SAX Musical inside an MS Bionde, white they alternate between espresso and cinzano. Ferraris on the other hand are for people who have decided that they are not buying a car for sensible reasons but because they want to join the tiofsi. Forza Scarletti. Grazie Reggazie. Forza Ferrari. This is a religion.
Lamborghini? This is a car company with no sporting prowess; and who used to make tractors. To shuffle off the image of the tractor factory, Lamborghini tried to build beautiful cars like the Urraco and Muira, before they realised that beauty was not for them and instead decided to build cars that were bonkers hat-stand mental. Countach. Diablo. Hurracan. In the 1980s, these were the cars which appeared in mechanics' shops and featured ladies of varying states of undress, draped over them. Lamborghini built cars to go extremely fast, with no regards for safety, build quality, or panel fit, but all of those things didn't matter because Lamborghinis weren't cool, they were cooler than ice-cold and dipped into the sub-zero. That's how cool they were.
Now I understand that car companies are businesses and will slap their name on anything if they want to spin a profit; so it does not surprise me that Lamborghini would also stick their name on something as uncool as this, but what I truly don't understand is the mentality of the kind of person who wants to buy this. Yes, it has the name Lamborghini on it but it isn't cool. It makes no attempt to be cool. I don't understand. This car has no telos. It has no point other than to exist. That is why I don't understand the mental leaps of logic of someone who has thrown probably a lot of coin at this. Why?
Car companies have been raiding parts bins since the emergence of different models from the same company in the 1930s. My guess is that this grey blob is probably borrowing bits from its Volkswagen Audi Group's cousins; probably the Audi A8. I understand the point of buying an Audi A8. An Audi A8 is for someone who wants to look understated to the point where the don't want a BMW 7er or Mercedes-Benz S-Klasse because they have too much personality. A black Audi A8 is for someone who hires other people to go contract killing for them; as opposed to a black Chrysler 300 which is for people who actually do the contract killing. They Audi A8 I get. It makes sense. This does not.
If Caleee wanted a kiddy carrier in which she could carry Tarquin and Jacinta to St Hubris School For The Interminably Profligate, then she should have bought a Range Rover. Jacinta and Tarquin can politely have a vom in a Range Rover, as they sick up the indigestible right-wing formula being served to them in the school's grand dining hall. I don't actually know what kind of upholstery is in the Lamborghini Grey Blob but it is probably made from the hide of 550 Lithuanian Chinchillas, raised on a free-range farm in San Marino. They would not be allowed to vom in Lamborghini Grey Blob.
Because other than carrying hideously expensive kiddiwinks, where Calee knows practically nothing about what a Lamborghini is supposed to be, then I neither understand why this exists beyong spinning a profit for Volkswagen Audi Group. Evidently at least one person has bought this thing but I fail to see why. Can you imagine what kind of looks that Jacinta or Tarquin would get if their mum rocked up in a Hurracan? That would be all kinds of cool.
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