July 27, 2005

Horse 377 - Dizzaholism

My name is Andrew and I am a recovering dizzaholic.

Dizzyness: The term is fairly vague, and can include a number of more specific conditions, ranging from harmless to life-threatening. One of the most common causes of dizziness is rapid spinning; this cause lent its name to the famous baseball pitcher Dizzy Dean of the St Louis Cardinals, whose windup while throwing the ball caused him to spin completely around.

Dizzaholism is a dependency on being dizzy; characterized by a strong craving to spin around in a circle very quickly. Sometimes those with the disorder will lead the sufferer to also use mechanical means such as an office chair or a park roundabout. Dizzaholism can be harder to break and significantly more damaging than dependence on most other addictive substances.

It usually affects young girls aged between 3-8 and boys aged 5-11, but if left untreated can lead onto harder forms of pursuit such as roller-coaster riding, motorbike riding and in extreme cases things like basejumping and skydiving.

I believe that it is a scourge in our community, only this afternoon I saw the brutal effects of Dizzaholism when a 6 year old girl spun around, fell over and began to cry. Clearly yet another innocent victim and one so young.

We must act quickly to end this terrible shadow on society or otherwise thousands of people may succumb and yes, even spill their ice-cream cones onto the pavement of despair.


Anonymous said...

Dizzaholism is wonderful and I will never seek to curb it.

The real problem is when one suffers from dizziness without asking for it. I don't appreciate bands (U2) and others making light of vertigo as if it were some fun and exciting experience. Being bed-ridden and feeling nauseous all on the account that fluids have collected in one's ear means that with a slight tilt of the head one's equilibrium is confused and FUTSCH! One is a boring old fart.

How I long for those roller-coaster days! Allergies SUCK!

Anonymous said...

When I was a kiddie we had two games. One was called "spin till you can't stand up" and the other was called "Spin till you throw up"

we played the second game of a ferry once and my big sister threw up all over an old lady's dress. boy was she mad

Tor said...

The best thing to do is spin around really fast and then lie down and look straight up. If there are lots of patterns on the ceiling and walls, all the better.