Horse 313 - The Worst Band in the World

I am currently looking for band members for what I think is the next big wave in music, I intend to create a band with the sole aim of being "The Worst Band in The World". Let's face it, shows like Pop Idol, The X-Factor etc are based on the premise of letting talentless individuals disgrace themselves in front of national audiences. I say that the pretence of looking for actual talent be dropped. I guess I'm advocating a sort of anti-art.

The method of going about this is dead simple:

1. No Rehearsals
Every performance, every cut, every take will be the first one. There is to be no practise at all. All performances should be a dry run to ensure maximum rawness.

2. Writing New Songs
Simply doing a cover version implies that the band at least has had a chance to learn the words. We can't have that under any circumstances. If this means simply giving the band a title before they perform their new hit, then so be it.

3. No learning how to play
I don't want anyone who has a clue how to play their instruments be given the opportunity to do so. In fact like Pop Idol I would have a voting off process, namely anyone who even begins to show promise must be replaced by a worse person. The people who operate the mixing desk should be given free reign through incompotence or deliberance to make the sound even worse; introducing feedback whereever possible.

4. Stupid Name
Not only will the premise of the band be utterly bad, wrong and horrible but the name should reflect this as well. After a brief think, I've come to the conclusion that the name of the band should be on a rolling basis. I picked some words at random and came up with the following: Carbonated, Octogon, Swirling, Blue, Cardboard, Air, Twelve.
Thus the band would be called Air Twelve and then Twelve Carbonated, then Carbonated Octogon etc. This has the added advantage of confusing venue owners who if they'd heard the name of the band may not give it a go on stage.

Hopefully my new band would get a record deal worth tens, even hundreds of cents. Of course with me being their Svengali like manager, then they'd better not dream of greatness. They are...

The Worst Band in The World!