October 14, 2014

Horse 1408a - A Letter to Boring Boring Adelaide

Dear Adelaide,

In a strange sort of way, I take a degree of perverse pleasure from the knowledge that the folks from the "Another Boring Thursday Night In Adelaide" podcast¹ have deemed me worthy enough to have my visa revoked by the Adelaide Visa Council in their latest episode². I've even made their list of rejected visas³.
For me it's akin to the Hobbits of The Shire, writing to the High-Consulate of Mordor. Adelaide is a bit like The Shire in that it's a little removed from the happenings elsewhere but I suppose that since Adelaide City Council does provide free Wi-Fi, they are aware that there is a world outside.

On behalf of the people of Sydney, I accept this award. In return we do not revoke your visa but instead allow free passage to our city or even to migrate here.
We'd welcome you to our mechanical zoo, where we know nothing about fashion or culture but "isn't the harbour pretty?". We welcome you with open arms and wish you well, as we would all refugees escaping hardship, or the ceaseless and silent drudgery of ennui.

We would warn you though that you may suffer from the effects of jet-lag and or possibly time-travel sickness. I once took a train from Womma Railway Station (which confusingly isn't in a suburb called Womma) to the city one evening, and an announcement came over the speakers which said that the train would arrive at 1938. That was odd because when I got to Adelaide Railway Station, it looked more like the mid-1970s.

Love, Rollo.

PS:If you do come to Sydney, please bring Sherrins - people here need education. Although we have two pretend football teams here (the Swans and Giants), most of the people here seem to be obsessed with some form of organised barbarism with involves throwing a ball sideways and running into each other. I haven't worked out what the point of this is, or indeed if there is one.


Addenda: The post which started all of this:

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