November 07, 2004

Horse 223 - Bored of This Same Question

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. - Matthew 19:12

For four sermons at church we've been looking at the subject of sexual sin. Now I myself have been challenged by this series of topics, but also discouraged by the inevitable question that always crops up and is bound to asked by someone when any topics like this crops up - "Why are you still single/Why haven't got married yet?" - The following answer is aimed at you people.

Truth in point here is that for whatever reason God hasn't provided me with such a person yet. Now I don't necessarily know if He will or not (that's his perogative since everything that could possibly own or have even claim over can only come from his provision) but this question I find to be almost bordering on insult. From where I stand it doesn't show a failure on my part, rather something that has not yet presented itself. Because married people were all single once, some tend to think that they know all there is to know about singleness.

I have the following to say on the subject:
Marriage is not final, not in this life or the next. Even if one does happen to be married it is negated by death.
Christ himself wasn't ever married, and yet he was the most perfect human to walk the earth.
Several apostles were never married and without them, the church wouldn't be where it is today.
The Bible itself like the idea of singleness because of the ministry opportunity it presents.God is sovereign over who gets married and who doesn't and He can be trusted to do what is good for those who hope in Him.
We aren't any more or less a man or a woman for being married or not.

Now upon all of this, if being single is a life appointed by God, then what right do I or anyone else have to feel either bitter or even go on a frenzied search to get married. Even Paul himself suggested something.

Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. - 1 Corinthians 25-27

To be brutally honest, I can't see the point why I should be bothered to go on the hunt for whoever "she" is. If "she" is out there, then God's plan will open up but isn't this true for all aspects of walking with God? Shouldn't He be the one to decide everything? Can He be depended on to direct one's path? How do I know for instance that God hasn't already pre-planned someone, even somewhere I don't care for much like France, the USA or even (dare I say it) Everton*.
If on the other hand God has decided that I am to remain single, then then search is futile and my energies can be better placed in doing other things like working for the kingdom. Again the same questions arise: Shouldn't He be the one to decide everything? Can He be depended on to direct one's path?
Second of all, I'm actually getting sick and tired of answering this question again and again and again - kindly cool it please. I don't have the answer, God does. If you're that worried ask Him. Shouldn't He be the one to decide everything?

*if she actually does exist and come from one of these place then this would be a great irony, but then again, God's sense of humour often results in making me look silly ^_^

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It must be hard to face that question so much. Your argument is as always well thought out and I'm sorry if I've hurt you at all.
Poor Rolly

- derik