April 05, 2005

Horse 326 - State Number Plate Lessons

NSW was once upon a time "The Premier State" - what this really said to the rest of the country was - we know that we are the best state, so there. Nyah nyah nyah.

Victoria was "The Garden State" - which didn't really say much except that Victorians were boring people pottering about with hand trowels.

Queensland was "The Sunshine State" - which offended people from Melbourne who live in perpetual rain.

South Australia was "The Festival State" - which is rather pagan considering that Adelaide is the city of churches.

And that was it... AND THEN...

NSW became "The First State" after the rest of the nation thought it was pompous, then it became "Towards 2000" which really echoed the other two statements. We are the best, we have the Olympics so there. But now post Y2K, cars that have that just look old.

Victoria under the Kennett government suddenly went "On The Move" but given the current Bracks government who've tried to de-Jeff the state, the must have got stuck 'cause now they're "The Place To Be".

Queensland was tired of looking dozey in the sun so they thought real hard and came up with "The Smart State". That just looks like Lister and Cat walking down the road singing "we're smart" as they were "the smart party".

Tasmania became "The Holiday Isle" after they realised that no-one wanted to go there.

NT became "Outback Australia" just so people actually knew where it was.

Tropical North Queensland tried in vain to set up their own country once Pauline "please explain" Hanson did her work in Southern Queensland.

And because WA realised that no-one else could be bothered to drive for 4 days just to get there, they had number plates for any group of more than 50 people.

1 comment:

Derik said...

Cat: What's the selim?
Lister: Well, that's obviously Bulgarian for kilometers, isn't it?
Cat: You're so smart, I'm glad I came with you!
Lister: Well, we are the smart party!

Both: We're smart, boom, boom be doo. We're smart!