April 18, 2005

Horse 331 - Curmudgeony²

(Follows from above)

When author Ray Bradbury was 13, he saw W. C. Fields standing on a Hollywood street corner. Excitedly, the boy approached Fields with a sheet of paper for an autograph. Fields signed his name, handed back the paper, and said, "There you are, you little son of a bitch." Fields was something of a twisted patron saint of curmudgeonry. He didn't like children, and he made no pretense otherwise. Like all good curmudgeons, Fields attacked false sentiment because it devalues the real thing.

Curmudgeons are classic outsiders; they instinctively distrust conventional wisdom and challenge authority. They are proudly and aggressively out of touch with pop culture. Curmudgeons don't read "relationship" books, they don't carry mobiles, and they don't use SMS. They don't do pilates, feng shui, or aromatherapy. Curmudgeons never watch "Must See TV" and they know the very term is a contradiction.

Let's fact it. Popular culture has always been moronic. It has to be, by mathematics. I mean, one-half of the population is by definition below average intelligence. The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason: to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything he's made. When I was younger I thought it was me, but now I know it's the world that needs fixing. Dammit, I'm not an angry young man, I'm a curmudgeon and jolly well annoyed by it.

No comments: