April 18, 2005

Horse 331 - Curmudgeony¹

Before we start this Horse, let's take a quick quiz.

1. Things were a lot better:
a. 20 years ago
b. 40 years ago
c. Things have never been very good

2. A grande mocha caffe latte is:
a. Delicious
b. Expensive
c. What the hell is a grande mocha caffe latte?

3. The government is:
a. Too big
b. Too slow
c. Out to get me

4. Some children are playing football in the street. As you watch from the window, the ball rolls into your yard. Your best course of action is to:
a. Ignore it
b. Delight in the sweet innocence of children
c. Keep the ball

5. Music today is:
a. Edgy
b. Loud
c. You call that music?

6. Read the following statement: "When I was a kid, you could get a full steak dinner, a slice of pie with ice cream and a cup of coffee for 20 cents. Twenty damn cents. And this was good coffee too; not that crap they serve now." This is:
a. True
b. Odd
c. The smartest thing I've ever read in this lousy website

7. The problem with kids today is:
a. Why are you asking me all these questions?
b. I've had enough of this nonsense
c. Leave me alone

Results below:

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**

***

****

*****

******

*****

****

***

**

*

If you refused to take this quiz because it's a damn fool waste of time and then wrote a lengthy, self-righteous reply explaining precisely why it was a damn fool waste of time, congratulations: You are officially a curmudgeon!

I think that the world needs more cranks, cynics and curmudgeons. Curmudgeons keep the rest of the cockeyed optimists honest. We call curmudgeons irascible, grouchy, old farty pants, grumpy; even mean. But the world needs curmudgeons. They refuse to see life through the filter of wishful thinking and are outspoken in their devotion to the harsh realities of life. They protect the rest of society who are stumbling about blindly behind rose-colored glasses, from society (who by the way is to blame).

3 comments:

Christina said...

I wish to remain a cockeyed optimist. I shall rely on you Rollo for all my curmudgeony needs.

Will you be my crumudgeon rollo?

Rollo said...

The optimist says that the glass is half-full; the pessimist says that it's half empty.

I say that it's half empty and that I'd like a refill please ^_^

Christina said...

I say, it depends on wether the glass has just been half emptied or half filled.