October 07, 2005

Horse 414 - Conquistador

7th October 1510,
The only information that the Sydney Morning Herald gives for it's historical column was that Spanish conquistador Balboa (the guy with the funny looking hat) found a tribe of cross-dressing males in Panama and executed them all on-spec in the name of the Queen and God. A Panamanian Transvestite colony? Wow.

Conquistador - now there's a profession that you don't hear much of these days. Conquistador. I mean it's right near the beginning of the career alphabet too. A - architect, artist. B - Binman, Baker. C - Conquistador! Why wasn't I offered that as a career option? How unfair.

There's programs in schools to help people leaving school decide what sort of careers they might like. Now as talented and fabulous as I am, they never once offered me that option. Know what they suggested that I do? Become a baggage handler at the airport. Now with all my flair and intelligence, you think that they could have come up with something better than that.

I would have liked to follow in the footsteps of James Cook, Chris Columbus, Cardinal Fang etc. Well I suppose they didn't really have footsteps did they, being on ship and all.
But I can see the other side of the coin as well. On 19th January 1514, the Queen had Balboa executed... so it's probably a good thing I didn't become a Conquistador.

But the name Conquistador is still pretty cool.

2 comments:

Elfin said...

what's a binman?

Katja said...

Don't you remember the Sesame Street song?

Oh you can
Be what you wanta be
see what you wanta see
believe in yourself!

Go where you wanta go
do what you want to do
believe in yourself!

Try what you need to try
no one should question why
believe in yourself!

Now we can either interpret that to mean we are free to be astronauts, circus masters and *conquistadors*...
or be a drug addict dwelling in San Fransisco earning our living as a "dancer"...

Take your pick.