There are some questions in life which have easy answers. Is the sun hot? Is the sea wet? Do you want a biscuit? No thought is required to answer these simple queries.
Other questions require more deliberation. How can we solve poverty in the third world? Were we right to go to war in Iraq? What sort of biscuit would you like? Certainly these are puzzling enigmas.
Yet even these pale in comparison to some questions, questions of such enormity that they will be debated through the ages; wise men will be driven mad by them, wars will be fought over them, and if a definitive answer can ever be found then humanity will enter a new era of glorious enlightenment.
The other day a learned friend posed just such a question to me, and ever since my every waking moment has been caught up in finding the solution. I am approaching an answer, but I feel it is time to pass the question onto you, the greatest minds of the 21st Century, in the hope that you might be able to help me reach a conclusion. And so, to the question: if you could turn into any three animals at will, which three animals would they be?
I hope you understand now why it is I lie awake at nights, feverishly tossing and turning as my mind works ceaselessly to untangle this conundrum. Here is, after many hours of consideration, my answer thus far, but I fear it is far from the perfect solution:
1) Grizzly Bear.
Powers: Strong. Tough. Fuzzy.
I would turn into this shape if ever I got in big trouble, or if someone was in desperate need of an extra large hug.
Powers: Flappy. Cool looking.
I'd turn into this when I needed to get around in a hurry. I guess any bird would be good for this, but I chose the crow because when they're on the ground they look kind of like big black triangles. I like triangles.
Powers: Insufferably cute.
I would use this form to appeal to the ladies. I don't see how this could fail. Mew. Hold me. Closer. Now I want to take a nap. Zzzzz!