January 13, 2007

Horse 701 - Skegness Is SO Bracing

Skegness will become the new Antibes at the heart of a North Sea Riviera as unbearably hot summers drive tourists away from Mediterranean resorts, the European Commission forecast yesterday while announcing new targets to combat greenhouse gases.

The EU in setting new targets for greenhouse emmissions came to the conclusion that as the planet heats up, then former resorts in the Mediterranean will be too warm to attract tourists, and so places on Britain's East Coast and other places on the North Sea are potentially new holiday spots.

Or are they?

I found this on a Lincolnshire Council's website as an official reply.

"If the Lincolnshire coast is to become the new Riviera, this would be wonderful for the local economy. Skegness has a fantastic theatre, which attracts some of the top names, as well as Fantasy Island, which claims the biggest rollercoaster in Europe. We have the highest concentration of caravans in Europe and some of the best beach donkeys in the country."

Best beach donkeys in Europe? Are they mad? Well quite possibly yes, but is this this the way to sell holidays in Britain to the rest of the world? Ibiza may have rave parties and illicit drugs but come to Mablethorpe because we have Johnnycakes and Rock Candy.

Does this mean that somewhere in about 2055 people will flock back to that jewel of the North-West, Blackpool again? We might see a return to its glorious heyday, until then as before people will realise that it's all a bit naff.

Skegness is SO Boring... but at least we're not Mablethorpe

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