January 14, 2007

Horse 702 - Left-Handed People Look Gumby

After we'd been smacked about the park in some urbane display of contempt in the name of the "sport of gentlemen" we were sent into the breech to attain a target nearly double of what we'd previously achieved for season 2006/7. Upon Mark Bailey's return to the pavillion after a paltry 1 run, he remarked that left-handed bowlers were difficult to bat against because they "looked gumby"

The state of left-handedness has long been frowned upon with either concern and/or ridicule. In ancient Sparta, babies that were found to be left-handed were left on a hillside to the south of the city to fend for themselves. There are tales of the latter city-state where a left-handed boy dared to encroach upon the throne of one of the kings by opening the door to his chamber, wherein the king found out and ordered that this young lad be loaded into a catapult and hurled out of the city.

In Ancient Rome, left handed people were generally the suject of ridicule and under the reign of Caligula, a directive forced the murder of a considerable number of left-handed children. The Latin words for right and left are Dextre and Sinstre from which we get Dexterious and Sinister - does this mean that left-handed people are evil?

We decided yesterday that left-handed people were made out of wood, and therefore witches, and therefore we should burn them!... and that they still looked gumby.

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