October 03, 2007

Horse 809 - The Australian Citizenship Test

Yesterday was the first day that potential citizens had to undergo a test to check their Australian-ness. I had a look at the questions and quite frankly, buggered if I know what the bees and cows in Canberra where thinking. They must have had a few roos loose in the top paddock or something because the actual test makes about as much sense as a bum full of smarties.

Anyway, I've collected 100 questions from various sources so that you too can do you own Australian-ness test. Just how Dinky-Di and Bonza are you mate?


This then are the 100 questions: Answers to follow.

1 How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon ute while still allowing room for your dog?

2 You call that a knife?

3 What does "yeah-nah" mean?

4 When do you turn the sausages when cooking a barbecue?

5 How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 110kmh (for the passenger, of course)?

6 On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?

7 When is it best to take a sickie?

8 A hard-earned thirst needs a big cold beer. What is the best cold beer?

9 What is a snag?

10 What was the Don's batting average? (Answer must be correct to at least four significant places)

11 To "do a Harold Holt" is to what?

12 Which flags should you swim between?

13 What is The Coathanger?

14 Which long-serving prime minister had the longest-serving eyebrows?

15 What was the best Holden ever?

16 What is light on fizz so you can slam it down fast?

17 What is the spirit of Anzac?

18 If our mothers think we're growing stronger every single week, what have we been up to?

19 What is the beer we drink round here?

20 When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

21 What is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner?

22 How many beers in a slab?

23 The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?

24 Name three of the Daddo brothers.

25 Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

26 Who should be the next PM?

27a) Would you eat pineapple on pizza?
27b) Would you eat egg on a pizza?

28 How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

29 Who are Scott and Charlene?

30 How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?

31 If the police raided your home, what do you do?

32 Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie the fastest?

33 Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

34 What is a thong?

35 Where is the Black Stump?

36 How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

37 Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?

38 Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter.

39 Name at least 2 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

40 Who is current Australian test cricket captain?

41 What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

42 Which is the biggest city in the world?

43 What are Budgie smugglers?

44 What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

45 Did you cry when Molly died on A Country Practice?

46 What is a "Hoppoate"?

47 What does having a 'chunder' mean?

48 When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

49 What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

50 If you are not within cooee, how far away are you?

51 The dog sits on the tuckerbox, five miles from which town?

52 What is the great Australian salute?

53 What is a googly?

55 If you have Buckley’s chance, how likely is it?

56 If you are built like a brick shit-house, you are?

57 If something is better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick, what is it?

58 What is the correct answer to this question:
(a) c
(b) a
(c) Idi Amin
(d) The answer is always c

60 In rhyming slang, a billy lid is what?

61 What is an esky?

62 What is good clobber?

63 What is a galah?

64 What are you doing if you are "driving the porcelain bus"?

65 When is it proper to "point Percy at the porcelain"?

66 What is a grogan?

67 "Crook as rookwood" implies:

68 Who is "The King"?

69 In which state does Bryan Byrt say "Yes" more often?

70 What was the $1200 excitement machine?

71 Which came first the Rock or the Tree?

72 What is the first line of the second verse of the Australian National Anthem?

73 HG and?

74 Did Dick?

75 What are the ingredients in a rissole?

76 What ingredient beginning with B must be included on a hamburger?

77 What is the correct procedure to cook a galah?

78 Rank in order from smallest to biggest: Pony, Pot, Schooey, Sevvo

79 Where will I find a snotblock?

80 How many troopers came down to interrupt Matilda's machinations with the Jolly Jumbuck?

81 What is the Postal Address of the ABC? Why?

82 Is it possible to "have a prang" while doing "circle work"?

83 Where does spaghetti come from?

84 You're going home in the back of what?

85 What would you do with the following: a sickie, a spaz, a u-ey.

86 Who put the fun in spaghetti?

87 Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

88 What is the Devil's Number?

89 Who Wants to be a Millionare?

90 What comes after Number 96?

91 What is a Toorak Tractor?

92 Why wouldn’t Lleyton Hewitt dance with Venus Williams after he had won Wimbledon in 2002?

93 Anyone who sacked their workers after Australia II won the America’s Cup for not turning up that day was what?

94 Who is Aunty?

95 What was the greatest speech ever made in parliament?

96 Who was the “Wild Colonial Boy?”

97 Where was Mulga Bill from?

98 What two things are unique about the animals on the Australian Coat of Arms?

99 What was the greatest day in Australian sporting history? Why?

100 How far away from the beach can you wear speedos?

Have fun!

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