October 28, 2007

Horse 822 - Recipe For Disaster

A lot of people think that you can simply throw a whole heap of chaose into a situation and let it be. No way! At best you're just goping to get a small amount of mayhem, which isn't really a disaster. A really good disaster should be catastrophic and that takes planning and preparation and patience.

Now there are literally thousands of ways to flavour your disaster but you only need how to have a simple one before you add anything else.

A cup of the idea of chaos - note not just chaos itself but just the essence of.
A small amount of trouble - this will act as the catalyst later.
A pinch of miscommunication.
It's also important to get one bearded man. It doesn't matter who, but for some reason the best disasters always involve a beardy man somewhere. Any size bearded man will do; just make sure he's ripe and crazy.
Every disaster needs a shread of truth.
Get about 5 heapings of uncontrollable force.

First you'll need to start with the idea of chaos, just throw that in there; right away add your bearded man. Some people will suggest to add him later but I always think that if you do it early, you'll have just a little more time at the end.

Next you need to add your trouble and miscommunincation at the same time. If you add just the trouble, there will be someone who can solve it with a good idea and then trouble has been averted, so you'll need to add the miscommunication along with it, or else you just have an unpleasantness.
The best analogy is like a poisonous lasagne, layer upon layer gets laid down and is only half-baked.

Now in an entirely different pot you should have your uncontrollable force reach a boiling point. Right before you add it to the main mix, is when the shread of truth gets added because people will suddenly wake up and realise that something could be happening. Some people like to use the perception of truth, but if you use the real thing, it can not be separated and people will go after that.

After you've added your uncontrollable force you'll know your disaster has come to a head because the bearded man will start cackling. Now all you have to do is sit back on your island in the Maldives, and watch the claret start to flow.

If you follow this, you'll have a truly great disaster.

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