December 20, 2004

Horse 258 - Feminism Killed Mongolia

Credit has to go to the Kat for this theory. It's a delightfully silly start to the week and one well worth its weight in dried cockatoo poop.

Feminism will kill Mongolia.

Feminism killed damsels:
The idea that females of the human species be a damsel is quite frankly aborrhant to feminists who argue that being "empowered" is a good thing. Consequently there are no ladies anymore and certainly no damsels.

Dragons hoarde damsels:
The Common Welsh Red is the most common dragon to be found in western society, however, because of feminism, one of their major hoardable commodities no longer exists. The Welsh Red will hoarde literally anything but especially prefers gold, jewellery, rusty bicycles, and damsels.

Dragons attract knights:
Ever wondered why we don't see any knights anymore? The reason for that is that there are no dragons and no damsels-in-distress. It follows that if a dragon exists that instantly a knight will show up and inevitably try to slay it in order to steal the hoarde of gold, jewellery, rusty bicycles, and damsels.

Knights have Castles:
This theory is of course obvious. Because there are no knights any more, the prevalence of castles has fallen dramatically. Nowadays, all castles that seem to bein existance are either heritage listed or decrepit relics. Without knights, there is no need for castles to be maintained.

Castles have Walls:
Basic castle design suggests that there will be a central tower, called a "keep" and and outer wall. In extreme cases much larger walls are built like Hadrian's Wall or like the next case which actually proves the theory.

Walls attract Mongolians:
Mongolia was at its height under the leadership of the Khans. The most famous of these was Genghis. Yet historians would have you believe that the Great Wall of China was built to keep them out of China. This is of course and absurdity as the only reason that Mongolia came to power in the first place was because they were a destructive lot and only showed up with the intent of destroying the wall.

To summarise:
Feminism killed damsels. Without damsels there are no dragons. Without dragons there are no knights. Without knights there are no castles. Without castles there are no city walls. Without city walls there are no Mongolians. Without Mongolians there is no Mongolia.

Therefore Feminism is killing Mongolia. This is a menace and must be stopped now.

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