February 26, 2005

Horse 304 - We Need Global Warming

Global Warming is grouse. I think it's utterly brilliant. People talk of global warming like it's a bad thing but quite frankly I can see certain benefits to it:

1. Holidays - Most people if you ask then would like to go somewhere warm for their holidays. If the world was warmer then all of these people wouldn't have to go as far would they. This would not only save of time and effort but also valuable resources like petrol with reduced travel costs.

2. Sea Levels -
a) I have a theory that sea-levels would move precisely nowhere.
The ice caps in the ocean are rather like ice in my glass of gin & tonic. The amount of water created by melting ice is less in volume than the ice itself, so there is in effect no chance of the water levels rising such that it spills over the edge of the glass.

b) If in the event that sea-levels happen to rise then who would actually lose? Poor people on idellic Pacific island countries.
Besides, if you're a Pacific island country, how difficult is it to push a lean-to up a hill? People should just buy property in Dubbo if they that worried. Sure it may be 400 miles inland now, but if the sea level rises far enough it's prime beach front real estate.

3. Climate Control - People always complain that the weather forecasters always get it wrong. If we were to set up a nuclear winter with a greenhouse effect then we could actually control the weather for ourselves. Australia has loads of empty space at the moment, I'm sure that if we were to dump some nuclear waste out there and have the odd nuclear accident then no-one would say very much other then the kangaroos who evolve x-ray vision and laser devices in their eyes.

If we all do our part then I'm sure that we can all contribute to global warming. It makes perfect logic, and we'd be helping the environment too.

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