March 28, 2007

Horse 741 - Kitty Revenge

I was round at a friend's place last night because I popped in to say hello, when they relayed the story of how their cat has well and truly grown up. It has ceased to be this little playful ball of fun and has just discovered that most catty of traits... revenge.

For those of you who are not familiar with kitty revenge, it's different to people revenge because kitty revenge comes without conscious. Perhaps it's one of the reasons why the ancient Egyptians thought that if they tried to appease the kitty gods, then they might not suffer kitty revenge... wrong. There is no kitty god; even if there was, it would act like other kitties, so appeasing the kitty god would be useless.

Most musicians is as their wont, will invariably start a band. To this end, the couch was removed from the lounge room and a drum kit was put in its place. You're probably familiar with that horrid trait of male kitties of them wanting to declare ownership of things by weeing on them. We all remember Robin Williams live tour and even Cat in Red Dwarf spent about 10 minutes in one episode saying "See these things? They are mine!" Kitty had realised that HIS couch had been removed and apparantly had walked into the room, found the offending drum kit and would hiss at it.

If we roll forward about two weeks, we get to the point where a funky smell existed in the lounge room. A quick squiz around the room and a sniff off revealed that every day for two weeks, kitty had decided to step into the bass drum and take a dump in there. Two weeks of kitty poo smells distinctively worse than just cat wee. Kitty revenge was complete.

It is a good thing that people do not exact similar to kitty revenge on other people. It would involve defication on motor cars and people's houses. Though on reflection, we do hear roughly once a month that a pile of manure has been left at the front steps of a local council somewhere in the country, so perhaps we're not that far removed from Kitty Revenge.

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