Horse 987 - The AFL Knows Nothin' (and is cool about it)

Channel 10's AFL coverage this year is marked by a new funkiness, a new passion and more importantly a new song.

I think that part of the packaging of a television broadcast for any given season should include a song of some sort. It's a trick that's been employed for quite some time. The NSW Rugby League back in 1990 most famously used Tina Turner's "Simply The Best", the UEFA Champions League uses a theme called (oddly enough), the UEFA Champions League Anthem which is based on Handel's "Zadok the Priest". The AFL have themselves in the past used a few themes; most recently "Holy Grail" by Hunters & Collectors to some effect.

Perhaps though they should have properly thought through the song "Never Miss a Beat" by the Kaiser Chiefs for season 2009. If you listen to the chorus which they use, it is a perfectly sensible choice:

Take a look, take a look, take a look
at the kids on the street
No they never miss a beat
No they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat, beat, beat, beat
Take a look at the kids on the street
No they never miss a beat
No they never miss a beat
Never miss a beat
Never miss a
Never miss a beat
Never miss a beat

... however (and regular readers will know that whenever you see this word, some scything observation is coming). The other verses of the song, I don't think either convey a message that the AFL want to put out:

What did you learn today?
I learned nothin'
What did you do today?
I did nothin'
What did you learn at school?
I didn't go
Why didn't you go to school?
I don't know

It's cool to know nothin'
It's cool to know nothin'

Is the AFL somehow suggesting by inference that being an AFL player is congruous with being stupid? Is skipping school something that the AFL advises? If you then look at verse two, it's even more damaging:

Television's on the blink
There's nothin' on it
I really want to really big coat
With words on it
What do you want for tea?
I want crisps
Why didn't you join the team?
I just didn't

The message I get from this song is that people shouldn't watch television, and that they shouldn't join any teams. How does that sound Channel 10? The song you have chosen for your coverage actively encourages kids not to watch your broadcasts. Either that's a really "courageous" move, or someone just did no do the research. Maybe that person who decided that is living proof that it really is cool to know nothin'.