HORSE 818 - INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME, BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER!

AH, IT'S THAT WONDEFRUL TIME OF YEAR AGAIN WHEN THE LEAVES ARE GREEN AND THE WEATHER IS HOT AND CHILDREN EVERYWHERE ARE LOOKING UNDER THEIR KEYBOARDS TO SEE WHAT TREATS THEY'VE SCORED IN HONOUR OF INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.

SO HIT THOSE CAPS LOCK KEYS, BUT REMEMBER TO ONLY DO IT ONCE BEFORE MIDNIGHT! UNLESS YOU REBOOT YOUR COMPUTER, OF COURSE! REMEMBER THAT THIS IS THE ONLY DAY OF THE YEAR WHEN YELLING IS NOT ONLY CONDONED BUT ENCOURAGED!!! THIS IS WHY I LUV TEH INTARWEB!!!

LET'S BARBECUE EVERYTHING!!! LET'S BARBECUE MARS BARS AND TUNA AND PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES SINCE THAT'S WHAT I JUST HAD FOR LUNCH OR BARBEQUE PEACH ICED TEA AND FROG IN LETTUCE. YUMYUM! IF I WERES A FARMAR I WOULD LOVE 2 LIEK PUT THAT IN LETTUCES!!! LOLOLOL12~!`11~!11

CAN I RANT ON AND ON ABOUT HOW WHEN I BECOME PRIME MINISTER I SHALL BAN PIRATES!....I'LL RANT ON ABOUT IT ANYWAY IF YOU SAY NO...HA! I IZ A NINJA LOXORZ 111!!

Whoa, that's hard work. I need a lie down now.

Horse 817 - Need I Say More

Sometimes you find little snippets on the web that are even more hillarious than I could dream up.

I found this gem from the island of Scilly, which itself is a silly name for an island:

http://www.scillynews.co.uk/2006/08/
St Mary's air traffic controllers recently voted to strike after a peer review and job appraisal supported by their union the TGWU (Transport and General Workers Union).

The formal vote was declared unanimous in favour of a strike; it didn't take long to count the votes - there were two abstaintions and one vote for a strike. Fortunately the government's Advisory Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS) and the TGWU flew into Scilly for talk with the council, whihc ended in an agreement with the three men to halt industrial action and chaos was averted.
I should point out that Scilly has a total area of just 16km² and a population of 2100... chaos indeed.

Or how about this from the Daily Mail:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=485195&in_page_id=1770
A mother who enlisted the services of TV's Supernanny to control her unruly sons was left homeless yesterday after one of them apparently set the house ablaze. Channel 4 childcare guru Jo Frost spent two weeks with the Young family, advising them to use rewards to encourage good behaviour and make the five boys sit on 'naughty stools' when they misbehaved.

However her strict influence failed to last long enough to prevent the youngest, three-year-old Joel, being blamed for starting a blaze in the living room, apparently with a kitchen cooker lighter.

His mother Susan, who is understood to have separated from her husband Paul over the summer, tried to put out the flames but was forced back by the smoke. No one was injured but Mrs Young, 40, was given oxygen after inhaling fumes. Firemen spent 30 minutes dousing the flames but the interior of the house was covered in a thick, black layer of soot leaving it uninhabitable.

A spokesman for Essex Fire Service said: "Someone is certainly going to be sitting on the naughty step for quite some time."

Horse 816 - With Decorative Accents

Just beyond the midnight hour last night, I had the telly on (an a bunch of pens and paper in front of me) and was watching the Discovery Channel, trying to avoid the bouts of suspect television on some of the other channels. Because this was 50 years after the beginning of the Space Age, they had a show featuring ex-engineers who'd been working on rockets and technicians who sent pioneer satellites and eventually people into space.

It made me think about the protagonists of the Cold War, and that all of the spoken communication in space was somehow appropriate. Can you imagine for a second what landing on the moon would have been like if Neil Armstrong had come from somewhere else? Considering that Eastenders was on UK-TV at the same time, I formed the impression that most English accents and particularly those from the North, make people sound just a little thick.

If you go to Leeds you'll hear people (and women as well) speak in monotone, in fact it's dead impossibly lyke to tell if they're happy or lyke reet angry an that eh. Is that the accent of a NASA engineer? Can you imagine:
Houston, we got problem lyke
Don worry 'bout it, wor alrry onnit
Riiiite
Er Brian's fixin' 't now innit. Ow, e'll av some result foor y'inaminnit chill out willya
I mean it's not gonna happen is it?

Worse, can you imagine when the day finally comes and you breathe your final breath, and your soul goes to heaven and you finally meet God Himself. I can not for instance imagine God sounding like someone from Ipswich.
All roiyt moi luvlee. Wel-ome to hev'n. We've got a rite parr'y gaan' on'n 'ere
It just wouldn't be right would it?

There are some accents which simply do not fit the subject matter at hand. NFL should only have commentary by Americans, I have only just got used to James Allen for Formula One after growing up with often confused but excited warbles of Murray Walker and that year that SBS showed the Eurovision Song contest and replaced Terry Wogan was utterly abysmal.

No, some things for sanity's sake need a certain accent and delivery. Though having said that, Australian hip-hop does sound decidedly interesting.

Horse 815 - Green Slip Within a Green Slip

Today being the 17th, I have the arduous task of paying my road tax and registration. I am still confused as to a new entry I've found on my Green Slip.

The way I understand it, the Green Slip aka Compulsory Third Party Personal Injury Insurance is designed in the first place to indemnify vehicle owners and drivers who are legally liable for personal injury to any other road user in the event of a motor vehicle accident. CTP Insurance should provide cover for personal injury claims made against the defendant by other road users such as drivers, passengers, pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists and pillion passengers.

Enter the MCIS Levy. As stated in the documentation, the MCIS Levy funds ambulance, hospital, life-time care and other services for people injured in motor vehicle accidents... Hang on! Let's review this shall we?

CTP Insurance provides cover against injury claims made against the defendant by other road users such as drivers, passengers, pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists and pillion passengers.

An injury claim in a personal injury case (because we really want to make it that obvious) is generally made for the costs incurred as a result of personal injury (this is one of the great Derrs of History). What sort of costs would they be I wonder? Would ambulance, hospital, life-time care and other services for people injured in motor vehicle accidents fit that set of conditions?

Have I got the wrong end of the stick here, or does this sound like a double take on a double take?

Horse 814 - The Judas Sheep

Don't ask me why - but this was in the employment section of today's Australian:

MEATWORKERS BACCHUS MARSH - Required for the following:

Slaughterman for beef/lamb
Kill Floors
Boners/Butchers breaking lamb in the Boning Room
Labourers for Kill Floors, gutting and Boning Rooms

Long term day shift positions available. Excellent Rates.

This takes me back to one of the very first jobs I ever had. Although this is going to sound hideously ironic considering that I do not like the sight of human blood or medical procedures - cutting apart dead things; so long as they were dead didn't and still doesn't bother me. One of the first jobs I ever had was in an abattoir.

Admittedly we only really saw cows and sheep pass through and they'd come off of the truck and quite peaceably be either stunned, or lethally injected (with a specific neurotoxin) before they were cut up into their various components for leather and tallow, while elsewhere, butchers would prepare the carcasses for cutting into various cuts of meat.

One thing that you've almost probably never hears of is the concept of the Judas Sheep. Sheep by nature are timid and not very intellegent creatures. Anyone who's ever herded them up will tell you that they'll move quite easily when being led by another one of their own kind, they have this instinct to follow each other without thinking, even to the point of their own doom. The Judas Sheep will lead the sheep up the ramps such that they can be slaughtered and a good Judas Sheep will deliberately be set aside so that they can do this again and again.

A Judas Sheep may avoid being slaughtered itself for several years; being recycled around and around the system or so I'm led to believe. In some cases they've been marked for stud work and will often be set to breed. Invariably they too will eventually suffer the chop and succumb to being eaten.

I wonder if from a philosophical standpoint whether the Judas Sheep bears any relation to us as people or not. Are we as people really any different though?
These are the attributes common to humanity.

"As it is written, There is none righteous, not even one." - Romans 3:10

"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." - Romans 3:23

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all." - Isaiah 53:6

Did you read that? All we "like sheep" have gone astray. People are just like sheep. Sheep are very vulnerable animals, easy prey for a cunning wolf, and really really stupid. Every day on the news, we hear or read about people who have fallen victim one way or another because of this very fact, people simply following without thinking. One simply has to look at the media to realise that we even follow after our own Judas Sheep, be it for fame, money, politcal ideology, whatever, seemingly totally unaware of what is going on in this world.

And all destined for the Kill Floors and Boning Rooms.

Horse 813 - The Short-Sighted M4 East

I am convinced that the NSW State Government would be able to take its finger out if it didn't have its own head wedged firmly up its own bum. The M4 East has been approved at a grand cost of $7 billion in the name of easing congestion. What a load of tosh! Internal document and advertising campaigns produced by the very same people would show otherwise.

A suburban commuter train takes 2000 cars off the road in peak times. Simple logic states that if you are on a train, then it's impossible to be in a car at the same time; at the other end of the journey (aka the motorway), instead of needing to find physical space for those 2000 cars, you only need to diffuse pedestrians.

The ultimate expression of a city with motorways and proof positive as to why they don't in principle work is Los Angeles. This is a city of 3.9 million people with the most horrendous traffic jams in the world. People may like to cite London and the M25 but if you bear in mind that traffic within the capital itself moves relatively freely and the rather obvious point that it's population is probably 3 times as big when you consider the total traffic footprint, London still has less traffic jams.

On a recent trip to San Diego (to meet the future Mrs Rollo - scary thought that) the task given me was to drive to LAX. I left at 04:30 in the morning and moved 116 miles up the coast in about an hour and a half. The next two and a half hours were spent moving down Interstate 405 a total distance of 9 miles or if you will, an average speed of 3.6mph and they call this the "rush hour"?! If London were this bad it would never ever move at all.

I mention London because Transport for London has just committed £16 billion to build the Crossrail 1 project. Essentially it's a Mainline connector as well as another Underground Line. Despite Londoners complaining about the Tube, they really do have quite a brilliant service.

Perhaps a more adequate comparison is Melbourne. Melbourne has thrice won both the Mercer Quality of Living Survey and The Economist's Worlds Most Livable Cities. At 3.8 million people it should be almost directly comparable to Los Angeles, but it has an integrated Public Transport network which encompasses the world's biggest Tram network couple with quite a good Suburban Train network.

We've seen in the past 20 years, the M2, M7, M5, M5 East, Cross City Tunnel, Eastern Distributor, and Harbour Tunnel all built within in the fair city of Sydney. Has even a single one of these projects actually lessened traffic congestion? Not a bit. The worst thing is that private consortiums have managed to sit right up close the whoever happens to be in power at the time and the time and now sit stripping and effectively raping the wallets of the "Good and Fair People of NSW".

We really do have a short-sighted government, and the problem is is that the opposition would have done exactly the same thing. People of NSW, your government isn't good enough & guess what? You voted for them and they'll continue to do exactly the same while the money exists.

Horse 812 - A Party Political on behalf of the No Bogans Party

Children, I have something quite serious to tell you today so I want to to take notice.



1. Go to Uni.
If you never go to Uni, you're too dim to get a job anywhere else and you'll only ever be able to get a job at Bunnings.

2. Don't Get Old.
If you're 49 years old, you're too old to get a job anywhere else and you'll only ever be able to get a job at Bunnings.

3. Don't be a Bogan.
If you are a bogan, you're too skanky to get a job anywhere else and you'll only ever be able to get a job at Bunnings.

High powered offices are run by virile people like James, and so if you're stupid or old or a bogan, you'll only ever be able to get a job at Bunnings.

That is all.

This message has been authorised by Jameson E Prawn for the No Bogans Party, Sydney.

Horse 811 - The Nation of Shopkeepers

When England beat Australia 12-10 in the Rugby on the weekend, popular opinion has swayed to the position that because England didn't score a try, that somehow they're a worse side for it. Notwithstanding the fact that they actually scored more points that Australia and won the game by legitimate means, it's somehow only because of Johnny Wilkinson. Mind you as defending World Cup holders, England did beat Australia 4 years ago also off the boot.

This however is not a unique phenomenon. When England beat Australia in the Ashes in 2005 it was derided as "lucky" and only because Australia didn't have McGrath or Warne for a few matches. Almost as if England did deserve to win.

Damon Hill was cited in a De Monde, Sport Bild and a Gazetto Dello Sport as the "Worst World Champion of All Time" and now that Lewis Hamliton is on the verge of possibly taking an F1 World Drivers Championship he is accused of erratic driving. We won't mention the fact that the two drivers often held up as the best of all time, deliberately ran their opponents off the road, which had it been on the road may have had them up on attempted murder charges (Senna at Suzuka in 1990, Schumacher at Jerez in 1997).

The European Cup Champions of 2005, Liverpool, were hounded as the Worst European Champions ever. Again they came from 3-0 down at half time to slot 3 of their own past Dida and hold on to win on penalties.
If you happen to mention the 1966 World Cup final, invariably you'll be told that Hurst's 98th minute goal should not have been allowed but they'll then conveniently forget that his hat-trick goal 22 minutes later was an absolute corker. In fact the 3rd goal has coined the phrase in German the "Wembley-Tor"

Why then is there a continual undermining of England's success on the sporting pitch? It is ironic that the country who is known for sportsmanship and fair play should be wailed on.

The answer rather surpisingly actually lies in the events above. For England as a nation to win anything is a rare event. For a country of 50 million people, they produce a large amount of duds. When England wins anything it is a surprise to say the least. When Skinner and Baddiel (of Fantasy Football and Skinner and Baddiel Unplanned fame) wrote the official song for Euro 96 "Three Lions" they'd wrote about England's failure in the tournament before it was even played. Nowhere but England would you write a song proclaming to the world that you were really bad at something.

Why then would anyone follow England, the nation that Napoleon called a "Nation of Shopkeepers"? Why do I considering that I live on the other side of the world in a country with beatiful weather and scenery? Because only in England do you have a place that universally acknowledges its crap before you start, only England admits that nothing works properly... but when they actually something... well anything really, it's brilliant.

Horse 810 - Bleeping Two-Foot Tin Ball Threatens Free World

When the Soviets launched Sputnik on Oct. 4, 1957 it sparked plenty of fear among Americans even though the Soviets said Sputnik was purely scientific. The Wall Street Journal wrote on October 5 that it was the "the loudest alarm clock since Pearl Harbor". The Sputnik crisis also led to the creation of the Advanced Research Projects Agency, DARPA and NASA itself.

Not surprisingly, 1957 was coined the International Geophysical Year. Scientists for the next 22 days continued to point radar and telescope sets upwards to hear the continual beeping from the little traveller.

The shock of the Sputnik launch was so great throughout America that even congresswoman Clare Boothe Luce commented on the launch, referring to Sputnik's beeps as "an intercontinental outer-space raspberry to a decade of American pretensions that the American way of life was a gilt-edged guarantee of our national superiority".

It perhaps goes without saying that the Soviets beat America into putting a man into space and that just 12 years after Sputnik, the USA succeeded in putting a man on the moon. As for the fate of the little bleeping ball, it probably burnt up somewhere over Alaska. All that remains is a single firing pin from the rocket which threw it into the sky.

Horse 809 - The Australian Citizenship Test

Yesterday was the first day that potential citizens had to undergo a test to check their Australian-ness. I had a look at the questions and quite frankly, buggered if I know what the bees and cows in Canberra where thinking. They must have had a few roos loose in the top paddock or something because the actual test makes about as much sense as a bum full of smarties.

Anyway, I've collected 100 questions from various sources so that you too can do you own Australian-ness test. Just how Dinky-Di and Bonza are you mate?

Avagoyamug!

This then are the 100 questions: Answers to follow.

1 How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon ute while still allowing room for your dog?

2 You call that a knife?

3 What does "yeah-nah" mean?

4 When do you turn the sausages when cooking a barbecue?

5 How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 110kmh (for the passenger, of course)?

6 On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?

7 When is it best to take a sickie?

8 A hard-earned thirst needs a big cold beer. What is the best cold beer?

9 What is a snag?

10 What was the Don's batting average? (Answer must be correct to at least four significant places)

11 To "do a Harold Holt" is to what?

12 Which flags should you swim between?

13 What is The Coathanger?

14 Which long-serving prime minister had the longest-serving eyebrows?

15 What was the best Holden ever?

16 What is light on fizz so you can slam it down fast?

17 What is the spirit of Anzac?

18 If our mothers think we're growing stronger every single week, what have we been up to?

19 What is the beer we drink round here?

20 When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

21 What is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner?

22 How many beers in a slab?

23 The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?

24 Name three of the Daddo brothers.

25 Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

26 Who should be the next PM?

27a) Would you eat pineapple on pizza?
27b) Would you eat egg on a pizza?

28 How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

29 Who are Scott and Charlene?

30 How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?

31 If the police raided your home, what do you do?

32 Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie the fastest?

33 Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

34 What is a thong?

35 Where is the Black Stump?

36 How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

37 Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sanh?

38 Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter.

39 Name at least 2 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

40 Who is current Australian test cricket captain?

41 What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

42 Which is the biggest city in the world?

43 What are Budgie smugglers?

44 What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing?

45 Did you cry when Molly died on A Country Practice?

46 What is a "Hoppoate"?

47 What does having a 'chunder' mean?

48 When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

49 What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

50 If you are not within cooee, how far away are you?

51 The dog sits on the tuckerbox, five miles from which town?

52 What is the great Australian salute?

53 What is a googly?

55 If you have Buckley’s chance, how likely is it?

56 If you are built like a brick shit-house, you are?

57 If something is better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick, what is it?

58 What is the correct answer to this question:
(a) c
(b) a
(c) Idi Amin
(d) The answer is always c

60 In rhyming slang, a billy lid is what?

61 What is an esky?

62 What is good clobber?

63 What is a galah?

64 What are you doing if you are "driving the porcelain bus"?

65 When is it proper to "point Percy at the porcelain"?

66 What is a grogan?

67 "Crook as rookwood" implies:

68 Who is "The King"?

69 In which state does Bryan Byrt say "Yes" more often?

70 What was the $1200 excitement machine?

71 Which came first the Rock or the Tree?

72 What is the first line of the second verse of the Australian National Anthem?

73 HG and?

74 Did Dick?

75 What are the ingredients in a rissole?

76 What ingredient beginning with B must be included on a hamburger?

77 What is the correct procedure to cook a galah?

78 Rank in order from smallest to biggest: Pony, Pot, Schooey, Sevvo

79 Where will I find a snotblock?

80 How many troopers came down to interrupt Matilda's machinations with the Jolly Jumbuck?

81 What is the Postal Address of the ABC? Why?

82 Is it possible to "have a prang" while doing "circle work"?

83 Where does spaghetti come from?

84 You're going home in the back of what?

85 What would you do with the following: a sickie, a spaz, a u-ey.

86 Who put the fun in spaghetti?

87 Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

88 What is the Devil's Number?

89 Who Wants to be a Millionare?

90 What comes after Number 96?

91 What is a Toorak Tractor?

92 Why wouldn’t Lleyton Hewitt dance with Venus Williams after he had won Wimbledon in 2002?

93 Anyone who sacked their workers after Australia II won the America’s Cup for not turning up that day was what?

94 Who is Aunty?

95 What was the greatest speech ever made in parliament?

96 Who was the “Wild Colonial Boy?”

97 Where was Mulga Bill from?

98 What two things are unique about the animals on the Australian Coat of Arms?

99 What was the greatest day in Australian sporting history? Why?

100 How far away from the beach can you wear speedos?

Have fun!

Horse 808 - Established 1967

Radio

30 Sep 1967 - In response to pirate radio stations, in some cases almost literally as they were hosted from off-shore platforms and ships in the English Channel, the BBC dusted off its very very stodgy attitude and spun four stations from its sole station.

Radio 1 and Radio 2 came from the ex-Light Programme, the Home Service morphed into Radio 4 and the Third Programme not surprisingly became Radio 3.

The very first record played in the new Radio 1 was Flowers in the Rain by The Move. Some saw it as symbolic as the end of the "Flower Power" era, though it would appear that Tony Blackburn selected it merely because it sounded nice.

The Beeb has gone right to the nines with this. Since all four of the original post-split networks still exist, they all celebrate their birthday on the same day. The BBC is still esentially the biggest radio company in the world, and at the inception of the four networks, was deriving most of its income from the radio licence which has subsquently shifted to a TV licence.

I must admit I do happen to like the BBC, because not being hampered with playing what's commercial, it tends to try experiments. It is probably singly responsible for Madchester and Britrock and the current Grime and Hip Hop resurgence in the UK. It heralded glam rock and punk and saw out then end of metal as a force. Personally I hope that Radio 1 continues to lead the world, because when British music is on top, the world is better for it.

Horse 806 - Dodge By Name, Dodge By Nature

The 2007 Dodge Calber. 2.4L V6, 124kW, 4WD. Built with American know-how and some serious gremlins in both the transmission and the ignition.

If you're doing 70mph down the motorway, the car will "forget" which gear it's in and magically just lift. The problem lies in the fact that its continuous variable transmission was developed by Chrysler for a truck and so consequently, the software for fewer gears in a passenger car doesn't quite know what to do at times.
It has push-up-push-down varimatic "sports shift" which is essentially an override to the automatic transmission. I like this very much, as it magically dissolves the problem.

It features big and chunky pillars, which makes the car feel both solid and claustrophobic, often obscuring vision at times. One relies on the correct positioning of the rear view mirrors, but thankfully because Americans are used to motorway driving, they're more polite and will often let you in by just indicating.

The 2.4L V6 is a strong engine with plenty of low-down torque but feels a little wheezy at 60mph. Probably this is to do with the crap fuel that US Cars run on (Only 87 RON - Considering that standard pump petrol at 91RON is Super-Premium here, how would an STI go it it requires 98RON as minimum? They run best on 101RON).

From a styling point of view it looks corporately like its stable-mates the Avenger and the Charger. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be an SUV, or a hatchback or a wagon though. It certainly is not as stated a "Compact" because it's longer and more powerful than a Mazda 6.

Given that Yankee petrol is so cheap, it should have sold well here. The fact that it doesn't is more because, there are bigger and more important gas-hogs here. The Caliber does look tiny on occasion, though in Europe or Australia, it would be a behemoth.

Horse 805 - Speed Kills... Not Really

It was once said that speed doesn't kill, it's the sudden stop that does. Yesterday proved this for me yet again.

On a Boeing 777 there was probably nobody on board other than me even remotely interested in the veritable orgy of big numbers on the information screen. We were told in no uncertain terms that we were doing +500mph and everybody on board didn't even bat and eyelid.

If you were to take this principle to a German Autobahn, then the story changes a little bit. Instead of 500mph, traffic moves relatively cleanly at and average speed of about 120mph. Crash rates on the whole are no better or worse than Australia, so obviously speed isn't the issue.

In Oz we're limited to a rather pathetic 110km/h or 68mph. Motorway speeds in the USA are at 65mph though on good stretches there are 75mph sections. Traffic moves along rather boringly at about 85mph anyway.

If then speed is not an issue provided everyone moves together, why then does our government believe that having P-Plate drivers move at 20km/h slower than everyone else make things safer? It quite honestly doesn't. If I'm closing in on a hapless P-Plater at 110km/h quite leagally then I have to nudge the brakes because the law is an ass, a idiot.

Most fatal accidents do not occur on motorways in the first place, but rather on suburban streets where although speed is an issue, we're talking about people breaking the law in the first place. The NSW Government's smear campaign and the dirty scumbags at the Daily Telegraph blamed them for accidents when they should have found ways of countering speeding drivers. Limiting P-Platers to 90km/h on the motorway when they like anyone else can only do 60 in a 60 zone was short-sighted.

Not one of those "high-powered hoons" that the Telegraph published was actually adhering to the law in the first place. 72 in a 60 zone is dangerous, yet 72 in an 80 zone magically is no faster but road designers put that limit on because it was safe to do so. To be honest 110km/h on some stretches of the Hume is paltry when the road is quite capable of 150 without trouble.

Speed if managed and properly thought about doesn't kill. Idiots kill... and some of those are in parliament.

Horse 804 - TV Will Eat Itself

When you read a blog post, ideally it should be rated for content so you know what to expect - in that vein the following post is rated: Poor. Although it contains no poor people.

At home in the House of Bach last night we were perched in front of the television to discover something almost henious. On Channel 7 came a show which was totally bereft of sport, reality contestants, cooking or gardening. City Homicide on Channel 7 is what I believe could very well be the first of a totally new concept for television... a TV drama.
No wait, sorry... I appear to be wrong. This sort of thing has been done before, what was I thinking?

In a new world where Gordon Bleeping Ramsay can bleep his way across our bleeping television screens, or where Eddie "I want to be a millionare" no longer screens 24/7 on Channel 9, or perhaps even when Gretel "that vacuuous slutty woman" Kileen goes onto describe the exciting details of talentless individuals in a box on Big Brother, Channel 7 has returned to the rather daft idea of actually paying actors and scriptwriters to produce stories that people might actually enjoy watching.

Having said that, it's just possible that a television police drama may have been done before and by Channel 7... Blue Heelers... Homicide even?

Horse 803 - West of The Wall

Over the last few weeks a 12ft high fence has been erected in the city. There are armed military guards patrolling the exclusion zone. Trains pass through the U-Bahn missing out of stops within the exclusion zone. American fighter aircraft fly overhead whilst helicopters accompany them.

"I had to travel down Brückestraße but didn't have appropriate papers. I was denied entry and had to wait until someone from inside collected my documents. When I travelled down Kasslereagh Straße towards Maertens-Platz I was again stopped by American Troops stationed there and even the rest of Kasslereagh Straße was blocked to through traffic because the President was visiting."

If you do happen to own a restaurant of cafe near der Botanische Gärten or the Kai, then your business will have suffered because some parts of the city have been deserted. The nearest operating U-Bahn Station to the exclusion zone is Maertens-Platz but Heiliger Jakobus and Der Musuem U-Bahn Stations remain closed as we speak. Some buses have ceased to operate and traffic is limited to the Western Sector of the city.

I long for the day that our fair city will be re-united.
Berlin - September 5, 1962 - Er, no.
Sydney - September 5, 2007 - Think about it.

Horse 802 - Public Infrastructure

... or "Why I Hate The M7"



Infrastructure - The term has diverse meanings in different fields, but is perhaps most widely understood to refer to public utilities. These various elements may collectively be termed civil infrastructure, municipal infrastructure, or simply public works, although they may be developed and operated as private-sector or government enterprises.

Although government is subject to cost overruns, public works were originally provided for the greater public benefit. It makes sense that these things ought to be provided at relatively cheap costs as everyone benefits from them irrespective of social class and income.

In contrast, the role of private enterprise and indeed any business is not "excellent customer service" as so many mission statements would have you believe, but a return of wealth either in the form of dividends or increased value to the people it's responsible to.

Because of this in the pursuit of profits private enterprises tend to drive input costs downwards (like maintenance) and/or increase prices to the end consumer; both of these are in direct opposition to the reason for the existance of public works. An obvious conflict exists.

For this reason, I personally think that the following should be included as Public Infrastructure:

- Roads, Highways, Motorways and the Bridges therein
- Railways, Tramways, and the Bridges therein
- Airports
- Control of the Water supply and Water Resources
- Wastewater Management
- Electric Power Generation and Transmission
- Telecommunications Lines, Towers and Mobile Transmission
- Postal and Common Carriage Services
- Police, Hospitals, Schools, Universities, Defence Forces and Coast Guards
- Regulation of the Money Supply and Taxation

I see any private company in these areas as an affront to society and would prefer their shutdown and return to government hands immediately. In addition to this I think it would be good in principle to have a government owned bank and some form of government owned media outlet simply to drive costs to the public downwards by setting a benchmark.

So what brought this on? Namely that I agree with a Galaxy Poll which came to the conclusion that the Government's $17bn surplus was not as a result of good economic management but taxpayers paying too much tax. Guess what? They want it back in the form of better hospitals, schools and roads or both... ie Public Infrastructure. The very thing which for the past 20 years the government has been selling off.

Guess what again? Now that infrastructure is in private hands, it's not returning. If you can't afford those services, too bad - Private Enterprise is not responsible to you. SUFFER!

Horse 801 - Beckham is Jewish?

Did anyone happen to know that Beck's is Jewish? I just happened to be watching the LA Galaxy on the news when I caught a glimpse of Hebrew tatooted in his ever expanding collection of skin scribble. A bit of research later and I found out that it reads - אני לדודי ודודי לי הרעה בשושנים or "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine, that shepherds among the lilies.", which comes from Song of Solomon 6:3.

On reflection is should have been obvious that Becks is Jewish. He was named after arguably Israel's greatest king and he trained with Tottenham Hotspur, a club so Jewish that opposing fans in the 70s sang "Spurs are on their way to Auschwitz; Adolf's going to gas them again." on the terraces.

Becks has one Jewish Grandfather, which technically under the Nuremburg Laws would have been enough to send him to a holiday fun camp. Despite marrying a shiksa, David and Victoria did have a Jewish wedding - does anyone remember those thrones?

Perhaps it's not just co-incedence that he changed his playing number for Manchester United and later England to the number 7, which is the Hebrew number of completeness.

The last decent Jewish football player was a goalkeeper... heh, you work it out.