May 04, 2006

Horse 543 - Star Wars Day

Episode V

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....

Seeing as today is Star Wars Day "May The Fourth Be With You", I'd like to say that given the choice, I'd prefer to be in the Empire.

To be perfectly honest, the whole "Force" religion thing is really really stupid, so this effectively means that both sides are in a moral vacuum effectively. Weighed up against each other, the idea of being either a Sith or a Jedi are both really stupid, so therefore it's largely a matter of asthetics.

Storm Troopers are provided with better looking and better protected uniforms than the alliance. An Imperial Storm Trooper is respledant in white while the Rebel Alliance (which isn't even a real form of government) is just a rabble.

The "Evil Lord Vader" has a really cool looking uniform as well. Though borne of functionality more than looks, his black helmet and cape is enough to scare the brown mismatched pants off of any foe.

If I was competing at the Olympic Games I'd rather be entering the stadium to the Imperial March than Princess La-De-Das flowery ditty. The Imperial March as a national anthem even puts God Save The Queen or L'Marseille to shame.

Did I mention Twin Ion Engine Fighters or TIEs? As far as spaceships go they're compact and easier to park than a long bonnet pointy X-Wing. The TIE is Carnaby St chic whereas the X-Wing has all the subtlety of a BMW, and we all know what sorts of pratts drive them.

One last thing: Any system of measurement used is bound to be called the Imperial System. The last time someone invented something that wasn't the Imperial System, we went all metric and French. I don't know which is worse, being part of an Evil Empire or being French... actually, it's being French isn't it?

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