January 27, 2005

Horse 283 - You Can't Get it Rolling, You Can't Get it Goaling, You Can't Get it Feeding a Fire

Let's hear it for Australia Day. In one foul swoop Slammin' Sam Kekovic reminded us all exactly what it means to be Australian... to give the bird to the rest of the world. I did have lamb on Australia and a Foster's despite complaints from the people across the street who are vegetarians* (do they come from Vegetaria?), and yet somehow Australia as a nation seems very timid about holding onto and defining itself.

217 years ago Australia became the world's biggest gaol and with that came the world's biggest inferiority complex. From Imperial Britain to Imperial America though that's buisness in nature), Australia has always needed to copy and be someone else.

Our two biggest sporting icons are a cricket player who stuck it up England, and a Horse. I think our greatest leaders of all time were Billy Hughes who stuck it up the League of Nations and John Curtin who stuck it up both the UK and the USA in WW2. Yet somewhere after WW2 Australia again felt inferior but instead of hiding under the wing of the UK, hid squarely under the feathery bottom of the USA - oh dear. John W seems to want to be a handmaiden to George W at every whim and turn.

Actually on that subject of Foster's, I find it really almost insanely odd that it is marketed overseas as "Australia's Famous Beer" yet is impossible to find on tap in Australia. This whole national inferiority complex leads to the rather bizarre state that more of the stuff is consumed outside than inside the country. Carlton & United would rather foist crap like VB & Carlton Draught on Australian's than "Australia's Famous Beer" to the same people. In fact it goes so far that they had to remarket it as the upmarket Crown Lager rather than Foster's. It seems that Australians are snobbish enough not to buy Foster's but too stupid to realise that it's the exact same stuff as a Crownie in a different bottle. I kid thee not!

Furthermore I reckon that multi-culturalism is a load of pretentious crap. If Australia wants to stop being so wishy-washy we should start mono-culturalism - ie. that of Australianism whatever that happens to be. America has it albeit brash and harsh & the UK has it albeit whiny and whingy (so would you be if your empire as big as that had collapsed in a generation). No Australia needs a national identity and that should begin with what the country does best... give the bird to the rest of the world.

*If Vegetarians are so quick to point out that "Meat is Murder" then why don't they collectively speak out against war? Even blind Freddy can see that Murder is Murder.

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