"The task we all have to face is the same; that is, to live a fulfilled life in spite of many unfulfilled desires" - Walter Trobisch
When I think back over my life, I'm dismayed at the amount of time I have spent worrying about needs, wants, money, time, relationships or the lack thereof. I wish I had spent more time dwelling on the present and less time worrying about the future. It is not healthy to build our lives around events that are uncertain. Instead, individuals, especially Christians, must learn both to prepare for the future and to live fully in the present. I am realizing that I can't always change my circumstances, but I can choose my attitude towards these circumstances, as well as how I live my life in and around them.
There are things in life that are far more important than what I happen to be hoping for today. It's difficult, but I recognize that I need to hand my life over to God all my dreams, hopes and desires. I am called to live my life fully for Christ, regardless of my what that life happens to throw my way. I want to be able to say with Paul, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have...in any and all circumstances...I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13). To serve God whatever the circumstances, that is God's will for me.
2004 has largely been a year of marking time for me. Admittedly virtually every rule surrounding what I am and was supposed to do between 6am Monday and 7pm Friday were completely thrown adrift, and within my own mind and heart the quietness that came from nowhere alerted me to what I'd been hoping for and wanting for such a long time. In the sermons from the pupilt, the messages resonanted within me, but surruptitiously I'd been carelessly insulted either deliberately or by accident by members of the congregation on about half a dozen occasions.
So for 2005 I still am not sure where I am let alone where I am meant to be, but it's OK to want a change of circumstances, it's OK to work for those changes but above all to remember that I've been called to be content in all of them. It's wise to plan for the future; it's not a bad thing to want something, but unless they fall under the control of the one who already owns them then if unmet, it could be easy to become jaded.
I'm not sorry for this post, this is my space - so there. Nyah nyah nyah ^_^
rollo75 is on holidays until the 9th of January and will be either very bored, alone or sleeping and would enjoy it if you could cure any of these predicaments
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