June 02, 2006

Horse 559 - I Think My Lungs Are Collapsing

Our offices at work are located above a hairdressers. Usually the smell of ammonia and bleach is tolerable if not off-putting but this morning I seriously wonder whether our health isn't being affected or not.

The place downstairs has a glass frontage onto the street front on the town square (ooh, I've gone all a bit rustic lyke - me cows in the canal an all that). It constantly along with several businesses in the area gets the unsightly tag of miscreants and ne'erdowells who will from time to time leave their filthy, yukky spraypainted tags on things. So this morning, they're being renovated.
Oh the chemcials, urk.

If the foul stench of Winnie Reds wasn't enough to make you cough your lungs up black, then whatever they're using as a basecoat to render the walls with is enough to make them collapse. It's as if you took the contents of an Artline 17 which already contains Xylene and warns you to use in a ventilated area, concentrated it, packed it into block containing plastic, rubber and bitumen, set fire to that and then inhaled the contents in an area where you'd require a confined spaces ticket.
Honestly, passive smoking has nothing on this.

If that was enough, the acrid black smoke and particulants are beginning to seep in through the windows. Is it possible for it to eat through the walls? I could be sitting here entirely naked with half of my skin ripped off and no walls surrounding me by half past 2...
Worse, the stoner kids who usually hang around by the milk bar on the corner are all sitting outside presumably in order to get some sort of buzz from it, which only means that when this is all finished they'll leave their filthy, yukky spraypainted tags on things again.

Book now for a repeat performance next week I say.

6 comments:

Derik said...

Luxury.

We'd have all our skin ripped off and our heads set on fire before being jabbed in the bum with a red hot poker if we were lucky

j4s3 said...

i once had to sit in a Maths class while they poured petrol on us, set us on fire, chopped off all our heads with a chainsaw, made us sew our on heads back on without anasthetic before running across a minefield on our hands whilst juggling a piano and an elephant with our feet and playing Wagner's Ring Cycle on a harmonica before the end of a double period

Derik said...

Oh yeah,
Mum made me eat molten steel inside Chernobyl Reactor number 4 whilst it was in meltdown.

j4s3 said...

that's nothing...

my Dad held my eyes open with surgical equipment so I couldn't blink while dropping hydrochloric acid to keep them moist and made me watch 55 hours of Big Brother whilst eating my own internal organs in a casserole

Derik said...

My sister made me watch Beaches with Bette Midler in it

j4s3 said...

you win. that's disgusting