The USA and Britain are holding out against the rest of the world, trying to stop a scourge of terror desprately scratching at their doorstep. I refer to that most gross stench of foul horror that is... The Metric System.
The Imperial measurement system was based on useful things that normal people use. A pound of cheese, or sausages, or butter is a nice tactile amount of stuff. The Pound Sterling derives its value originally from exactly what is says it does, that is one Pound of Sterling silver or 925 fine.
A pint is also incredbly useful. A pint of milk is what you'd expect the milko to leave on your doorstep. A pint of HP Sauce ensures that there's enough for everyone and who doesn't enjoy sinking a few pints at the local with your mates?
Lengthwise, a inch is nice and small, a foot will handle things like door heights and ceiling heights, a furlong although a bit archaic is perfect for counting out horse tracks and the mile is ubiquitous for measuring large distances. One always refers to mileage and not kilometerage.
So then could someone please explain the mystery that is the tyres on my Ka? They read 165/65 R13 which means that they're 165mm across with an aspect ratio of 65% but with 13 inch rims.
Er?
The nuts holding the wheel on are a 19mm socket which standard imperial automotive threads.
Er?
Ah yes, the metric system. Trust the French to invent something so unuseful then impose it on the world. BOO!
August 29, 2005
August 26, 2005
iFive - 26th Aug
I noticed two very strange thing about the iPod in general this week. Firstly, I'm now running iTrip which is an FM transmitter. Very cool in the Ka I must admit but it's prone to generating dud frequencies and burst frequencies. Also, iTunes doesn't seem to worry if the date and time on the iPod aren't accurate, it seems to generate it's own figures based on the computers clock relative to the last play rather than the data from iPod.
As an aside I've noticed a skew in the general stats and I think it says something more about me than the iPod. Every single track of less than 1 min duration (which includes all ads and promos) has been played now. Maybe this shows impatience on my part?
1. Why Can't I Sing Like A Girl? - They Might Be Giants
2. Parliamentary Perks - Sam Kekovich
3. 1982 The Golden Hour - Radio 1
4. Nugget - Cake
5. It's Only Love - The Beatles
As an aside I've noticed a skew in the general stats and I think it says something more about me than the iPod. Every single track of less than 1 min duration (which includes all ads and promos) has been played now. Maybe this shows impatience on my part?
1. Why Can't I Sing Like A Girl? - They Might Be Giants
2. Parliamentary Perks - Sam Kekovich
3. 1982 The Golden Hour - Radio 1
4. Nugget - Cake
5. It's Only Love - The Beatles
August 24, 2005
Horse 391 - Dib Dib Dib
A couple of quotes to start today:
"Would you rather have butter or guns? Preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat." - Hermann Goering
I first read this on the inside cover of The Fat of the Land by The Prodigy; thought it was pretty cool and left it at that. I later found out by accident that Goering had said it at a rather big rally before the German war machine swung into action.
"They will attack every defence we have, and to last and not conceed we must above all be prepared" - Jimmy Hogan
Aston Villa had never had a manager or a coach before the 1936/7 season, after a punishing defeat in in the league at the hands of Arsenal when they lost 1-7, Jimmy Hogan was appointed as overseer. It was his principles of sound defence which saw Villa slowly become one of the blue-chips of English football.
"Be Prepared" - The Scout Motto.
We live in a world of uncertainty, moreover we live in a world that is more than ready to tear down everything that it doesn't like. I have never been a Scout but their motto is quite sound: be ready for anything.
Think about it, the world we live in is dying (this is pretty well much self-evident) yet somehow Christians are able to be more grounded, happier and even dare I say joyous in the storms of life. We have something valuable, something which the world doesn't like.
As Christians we're very much open to attack, our lifestyle may very well elicit the why, what and how questions from our Non-Christian friends. Why are we different? What is the source of our strength and hope? How can they experience what we experience?
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"
- 1 Peter 3:15
The answer to all three types of questions of How, Why, and What, is (get ready for the two most important words in the bible) Jesus and the Gospel. Duh, even 6 year olds learn this in Sunday School.Hear me out here. Jesus is the difference maker; he's our Savior, Guide and Leader. And his message, the gospel, has the power to save us and keep us close to God. That being the case, we need to have a solid and increasingly greater grasp of the Good News. We need to review the basics every day and claim its power. We never outgrow our need for the gospel. More importantly, the world that doesn't like the gospel needs to be told the how, why and what. They demand the answers (sometimes not very nicely) so we should be prepared to give them.
"Would you rather have butter or guns? Preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat." - Hermann Goering
I first read this on the inside cover of The Fat of the Land by The Prodigy; thought it was pretty cool and left it at that. I later found out by accident that Goering had said it at a rather big rally before the German war machine swung into action.
"They will attack every defence we have, and to last and not conceed we must above all be prepared" - Jimmy Hogan
Aston Villa had never had a manager or a coach before the 1936/7 season, after a punishing defeat in in the league at the hands of Arsenal when they lost 1-7, Jimmy Hogan was appointed as overseer. It was his principles of sound defence which saw Villa slowly become one of the blue-chips of English football.
"Be Prepared" - The Scout Motto.
We live in a world of uncertainty, moreover we live in a world that is more than ready to tear down everything that it doesn't like. I have never been a Scout but their motto is quite sound: be ready for anything.
Think about it, the world we live in is dying (this is pretty well much self-evident) yet somehow Christians are able to be more grounded, happier and even dare I say joyous in the storms of life. We have something valuable, something which the world doesn't like.
As Christians we're very much open to attack, our lifestyle may very well elicit the why, what and how questions from our Non-Christian friends. Why are we different? What is the source of our strength and hope? How can they experience what we experience?
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"
- 1 Peter 3:15
The answer to all three types of questions of How, Why, and What, is (get ready for the two most important words in the bible) Jesus and the Gospel. Duh, even 6 year olds learn this in Sunday School.Hear me out here. Jesus is the difference maker; he's our Savior, Guide and Leader. And his message, the gospel, has the power to save us and keep us close to God. That being the case, we need to have a solid and increasingly greater grasp of the Good News. We need to review the basics every day and claim its power. We never outgrow our need for the gospel. More importantly, the world that doesn't like the gospel needs to be told the how, why and what. They demand the answers (sometimes not very nicely) so we should be prepared to give them.
August 22, 2005
Horse 390 - Que Sera Sera
Multiplex "The Well Built Australian" doesn't appear to be all that well heeled. Multiplex as the builders on the very very late running Wembley Stadium posted a A$62m loss.
The stadium scheme has been hit by delays and cost-blowouts, although Multiplex said it was likely to hand the stadium over to the FA by the end of March 2006. It is under pressure to complete the scheme in time so preparations can begin for the FA Cup Final, which takes place in May.
It means for the first time since 2000, the Cup Final will be held in the spritual home of football.
Originally known as the Empire Stadium, it was built for the British Empire Exhibition of 1924.
What was really distressing was that there were no plans to save the famous Twin Towers.
The destruction of the Twin Towers was possibly the saddest day in football history; the ground had earnt it's status with the first ever match there - the White Horse Cup final of 1923 when 200,000 people squeezed into the stadium and were kept under control by a single policeman and his horse Billie (Bolton 2 - West Ham Utd 0).
Even the great Pelé said that "Wembley is the church of football. It is the capital of football and it is the heart of football". I only hope that when it re-opens, it will begin to take up the place that the old stadium had. As sung by crowds all over England, once again the song will ring true...
Que Sera Sera,
Whatever will be will be,
We're going to Wembley!
Que Sera Sera!
The stadium scheme has been hit by delays and cost-blowouts, although Multiplex said it was likely to hand the stadium over to the FA by the end of March 2006. It is under pressure to complete the scheme in time so preparations can begin for the FA Cup Final, which takes place in May.
It means for the first time since 2000, the Cup Final will be held in the spritual home of football.
Originally known as the Empire Stadium, it was built for the British Empire Exhibition of 1924.
What was really distressing was that there were no plans to save the famous Twin Towers.
The destruction of the Twin Towers was possibly the saddest day in football history; the ground had earnt it's status with the first ever match there - the White Horse Cup final of 1923 when 200,000 people squeezed into the stadium and were kept under control by a single policeman and his horse Billie (Bolton 2 - West Ham Utd 0).
Even the great Pelé said that "Wembley is the church of football. It is the capital of football and it is the heart of football". I only hope that when it re-opens, it will begin to take up the place that the old stadium had. As sung by crowds all over England, once again the song will ring true...
Que Sera Sera,
Whatever will be will be,
We're going to Wembley!
Que Sera Sera!
August 21, 2005
Horse 389 - A Bit of Crap
If you covered your body in shark poo then went swimming in the ocean would a shark then bite you? Similarly, if you rolled around in bear crap then strolled through the woods, would a bear attack you? I honestly doubt any animal would eat its own scat. I know pigs and some animals like to sleep in their own poo but I don't think they would eat it. Could we then assume an animal's poo might be a repellent against them?
I often ponder the real important stuff and come up with, what I think are very real conundrums. Like the ocean. It is inhabited by a lot of creatures and all of these creatures eat, so with that in mind, all these creatures must by logic take a dump. Where does all that sea creature crap go? Is the ocean one big toilet? What the hell does a dolphin's crap look like? Do some creatures mistake floating crap as another creature they might like to eat?
I can see some bottom dwelling creature hiding in a cave waiting for a smaller creature to come along so he can grab it and eat it, when a few dolphins swim by and one does a poo which floats down toward the bottom of the ocean. The bottom dweller sees it and thinks, "cool I think it's a sea cucumber". He dashes out and grabs it and takes a huge bite out of it. "Eeeeeeewwwwwww" he spits it back out and goes "It's a dolphin poo, that's awful!".
I for one think David Attenborough or Jacques Cousteau should do a wild life documentary on the toilet habits of ocean dwellers. It would be riveting viewing and would answer a lot of questions.
Elephants do huge craps but whales are four or five times bigger then them, so this leads me to believe whales must do enormous craps. Why don't we see whale poo wash up on a beach? The damn things must be as big as a small family car. Do jellyfish do clear, transparent poop?
Bigger sea creatures eat smaller ones and I swear if I was a smaller one and about to be eaten, I'd push a poo half way out my butt so it was just hanging there. That should put the bigger creature off eating me, I can imagine him thinking "Ewwwwwwww i'm not eating that".
Another question that puzzles me is, do sea creatures fart? Dolphins are supposedly intelligent and playful. When you have a group of young male dolphins playing together do they swim into the middle of the group and let a fart go as a joke? I can see all his friends going "Yeah yeah good one Flipper, that's gross man".
Considering all of this I don't think animals use crap to their advantage. I think an antelope out of the plains of Africa could use crap to make a lion think twice about eating him. Picture this if you will, an antelope grazing on the plains when he notices a lion stalking his butt. He thinks to himself "So Mr Lion, you think you want to eat me huh?". He then goes and rolls in a big old elephant poo and covers his entire body in it then stands there looking at the lion and goes "There ya go Mr Lion wanna eat me now?".
I can just imagine it, a brand of shark repellant spray that smells like shark poo. Guaranteed to keep you wet and smelly for up to 24 hours.
I often ponder the real important stuff and come up with, what I think are very real conundrums. Like the ocean. It is inhabited by a lot of creatures and all of these creatures eat, so with that in mind, all these creatures must by logic take a dump. Where does all that sea creature crap go? Is the ocean one big toilet? What the hell does a dolphin's crap look like? Do some creatures mistake floating crap as another creature they might like to eat?
I can see some bottom dwelling creature hiding in a cave waiting for a smaller creature to come along so he can grab it and eat it, when a few dolphins swim by and one does a poo which floats down toward the bottom of the ocean. The bottom dweller sees it and thinks, "cool I think it's a sea cucumber". He dashes out and grabs it and takes a huge bite out of it. "Eeeeeeewwwwwww" he spits it back out and goes "It's a dolphin poo, that's awful!".
I for one think David Attenborough or Jacques Cousteau should do a wild life documentary on the toilet habits of ocean dwellers. It would be riveting viewing and would answer a lot of questions.
Elephants do huge craps but whales are four or five times bigger then them, so this leads me to believe whales must do enormous craps. Why don't we see whale poo wash up on a beach? The damn things must be as big as a small family car. Do jellyfish do clear, transparent poop?
Bigger sea creatures eat smaller ones and I swear if I was a smaller one and about to be eaten, I'd push a poo half way out my butt so it was just hanging there. That should put the bigger creature off eating me, I can imagine him thinking "Ewwwwwwww i'm not eating that".
Another question that puzzles me is, do sea creatures fart? Dolphins are supposedly intelligent and playful. When you have a group of young male dolphins playing together do they swim into the middle of the group and let a fart go as a joke? I can see all his friends going "Yeah yeah good one Flipper, that's gross man".
Considering all of this I don't think animals use crap to their advantage. I think an antelope out of the plains of Africa could use crap to make a lion think twice about eating him. Picture this if you will, an antelope grazing on the plains when he notices a lion stalking his butt. He thinks to himself "So Mr Lion, you think you want to eat me huh?". He then goes and rolls in a big old elephant poo and covers his entire body in it then stands there looking at the lion and goes "There ya go Mr Lion wanna eat me now?".
I can just imagine it, a brand of shark repellant spray that smells like shark poo. Guaranteed to keep you wet and smelly for up to 24 hours.
August 19, 2005
Horse 388 - When Two Tribes Go To War
If you've been watching telly for the last few weeks you'll have noticed a bitter advertising campaign by the two main warring factions of accountants - the CPA's and the ACA. Now it's all very well that an advertising campaign informs people of your business, and perhaps it's appropriate that given the end of the financial year in June that they should appear now but it all seems to be a bit pointed.
As an accountant I can tell you that from a professional standpoint it matters not which group you come from at all in the real world. Most businesses only care if you can do the job, in fact most don't even care if you can do the job until they need their annual taxation returns done.
Given the sorts of people who are accountants, this sits well. In general accountants are incredibly nerdy. The image of someone with glasses, buck teeth, a pocket protector (though I don't even know where you could find one for sale anymore) and the standard white shirt and bad haircut is not that far removed from the mark.
I bet that in the board rooms of the professional organisations, there are copies of Bill Gates and Dwayne Dibley the Duke of Dork battling it out across long tables with 17th century pewter soldiers saying things like "I'm going to take over the world of modified capital gains and contra trading, that'll show 'em".
Accountants are the Warhammer 40K of the business world. A club so tightly knit that it's like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory "No-one ever goes in, and no-one ever come out" or should that be two clubs... two clubs* of NERDS!
*Two of Clubs ranks only below 2 of Spades and Hearts.
As an accountant I can tell you that from a professional standpoint it matters not which group you come from at all in the real world. Most businesses only care if you can do the job, in fact most don't even care if you can do the job until they need their annual taxation returns done.
Given the sorts of people who are accountants, this sits well. In general accountants are incredibly nerdy. The image of someone with glasses, buck teeth, a pocket protector (though I don't even know where you could find one for sale anymore) and the standard white shirt and bad haircut is not that far removed from the mark.
I bet that in the board rooms of the professional organisations, there are copies of Bill Gates and Dwayne Dibley the Duke of Dork battling it out across long tables with 17th century pewter soldiers saying things like "I'm going to take over the world of modified capital gains and contra trading, that'll show 'em".
Accountants are the Warhammer 40K of the business world. A club so tightly knit that it's like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory "No-one ever goes in, and no-one ever come out" or should that be two clubs... two clubs* of NERDS!
*Two of Clubs ranks only below 2 of Spades and Hearts.
August 16, 2005
Horse 387 - Can You Lick Your Elbow?
A popular urban myth is that people can't lick their elbows. Whilst this may be true for the vast majority, there are a few exceptional people who can achieve such a feat.
One such person is named Jessica and works at the Commonwealth Bank on the other side of the street from where I work. Now this might not exactly be the most useful story or ability in the world (and really I have no idea of how this topic of conversation arose) but it truly looks quite bizarre.
I can't manage to do this and in one one those rare moments while my guard was down, out came the camera on her cell-phone and snap, there's a photo of me looking like a complete git.
I have subsequently learned that this can be used as an icebreaker in a social group. Tell people to say the word "Strawberries" while they lick their own elbow, having subsequently tested this (on gullible people) people can be made to look more of a git than I did.
Now this story (apart from being delightfully pointless) has another moment that I must say, quite frankly weirded me out. During one of the attempts of my trying to look a pratt licking my elbow (and the last), she sucessfully weirded me out by licking my elbow for me... salacious little lady.
One such person is named Jessica and works at the Commonwealth Bank on the other side of the street from where I work. Now this might not exactly be the most useful story or ability in the world (and really I have no idea of how this topic of conversation arose) but it truly looks quite bizarre.
I can't manage to do this and in one one those rare moments while my guard was down, out came the camera on her cell-phone and snap, there's a photo of me looking like a complete git.
I have subsequently learned that this can be used as an icebreaker in a social group. Tell people to say the word "Strawberries" while they lick their own elbow, having subsequently tested this (on gullible people) people can be made to look more of a git than I did.
Now this story (apart from being delightfully pointless) has another moment that I must say, quite frankly weirded me out. During one of the attempts of my trying to look a pratt licking my elbow (and the last), she sucessfully weirded me out by licking my elbow for me... salacious little lady.
August 13, 2005
Horse 386 (compy) - Wee-Wee In Space!
Picture this, the USSR had got the jump on the Americans during the space race. Sputnik 1 was the first artificial satellite in space and this four pound little bleeping ball threatened the free world. It would have been enough for the Americans to wee themselves, well guess what, it was.
Passing through people's kidney's every hour is one third of your body weight in water.
Consequently as a waste disposal system they work extremely well and generate 1ml of urine a minute. It's a well known fact that in cold weather, one's bladder shinks, also under pressure the bladder is squeezed meaning that you're more likely to go to the toilet in a wetsuit than if you were just swimming. Now multiply that by about 3 hours and put a person in such conditions into a space capsule.
The Freedom 7 flight of Alan Shepherd was delayed due to inclement weather. So for three hours, the spacecraft was held on the launch pad. Three hours in a cold environment that would prove to be hillarous.
With only 15 minutes to go, it was necessary to hold the count again to make a final check of the real-time trajectory computer. A small electrical part had a problem and this resulted in another hour and twenty six minute delay. Shepard was on top of the Redstone rocket for so long now that he had to urinate. "Gordo!" he said, talking to Gordon Cooper, a fellow Mercury Seven astronaut and principal prelaunch communicator. "Go, Alan." "Man, I got to pee." "You what?" "You heard me. I've got to pee. I've been up here forever."
Shepard wanted to be let out but there wasn't time to let him out and then reassemble the spacecraft and connect it all up. Thinking that he could be up there for hours, he told them he was going to do it in his suit. Unfortunately, there was no urine collection system and the medics were concerned he would short-circuit the leads. "Tell 'em to turn the power off!" Alan snapped. Cooper, with a chuckle in his voice said, "Okay, Alan. Power's off. Go to it."
Shepard couldn't hold back any longer and the liquid pooled in the small of his back. The medicos went psycho as they couldn't understand the bizarre readings they were getting, they honestly thought he had died or was introuble before someone at mission control told them. Soon, his heavy gauge magic underpants and undergarments soaked up the urine, and with 100 percent oxygen flowing through the suit he was soon dry. The countdown resumed.
At T- minus two minutes and forty seconds and counting, Shepard heard that dreaded word again, "Hold". There was a little computer problem. Getting frustrated, he yelled, "I've been in here more than three hours. I'm a hell of a lot cooler than you guys. Why don't you just fix your little problem and light this candle?"
Wee-wee went into space on that first flight, and they learnt very very quickly what we all know. Did you go before you went?
Wee-wee-wee all the way home.
Passing through people's kidney's every hour is one third of your body weight in water.
Consequently as a waste disposal system they work extremely well and generate 1ml of urine a minute. It's a well known fact that in cold weather, one's bladder shinks, also under pressure the bladder is squeezed meaning that you're more likely to go to the toilet in a wetsuit than if you were just swimming. Now multiply that by about 3 hours and put a person in such conditions into a space capsule.
The Freedom 7 flight of Alan Shepherd was delayed due to inclement weather. So for three hours, the spacecraft was held on the launch pad. Three hours in a cold environment that would prove to be hillarous.
With only 15 minutes to go, it was necessary to hold the count again to make a final check of the real-time trajectory computer. A small electrical part had a problem and this resulted in another hour and twenty six minute delay. Shepard was on top of the Redstone rocket for so long now that he had to urinate. "Gordo!" he said, talking to Gordon Cooper, a fellow Mercury Seven astronaut and principal prelaunch communicator. "Go, Alan." "Man, I got to pee." "You what?" "You heard me. I've got to pee. I've been up here forever."
Shepard wanted to be let out but there wasn't time to let him out and then reassemble the spacecraft and connect it all up. Thinking that he could be up there for hours, he told them he was going to do it in his suit. Unfortunately, there was no urine collection system and the medics were concerned he would short-circuit the leads. "Tell 'em to turn the power off!" Alan snapped. Cooper, with a chuckle in his voice said, "Okay, Alan. Power's off. Go to it."
Shepard couldn't hold back any longer and the liquid pooled in the small of his back. The medicos went psycho as they couldn't understand the bizarre readings they were getting, they honestly thought he had died or was introuble before someone at mission control told them. Soon, his heavy gauge magic underpants and undergarments soaked up the urine, and with 100 percent oxygen flowing through the suit he was soon dry. The countdown resumed.
At T- minus two minutes and forty seconds and counting, Shepard heard that dreaded word again, "Hold". There was a little computer problem. Getting frustrated, he yelled, "I've been in here more than three hours. I'm a hell of a lot cooler than you guys. Why don't you just fix your little problem and light this candle?"
Wee-wee went into space on that first flight, and they learnt very very quickly what we all know. Did you go before you went?
Wee-wee-wee all the way home.
August 12, 2005
iFive - 12th Aug
Pennywise. What am I doing with a song like this? Well I don't usually buy pub-punk and this is, but the only reason I bought the single (don't even know what it was) was for this B-Side.
Ska and Punk tends to have more of a play with existing songs and formats than mainstream pop; for this reason, gems like this never get airplay on commercial stations. In fact I think I heard it as a Superrequest on the J's before I bought the single (whatever it was).
1. 2003 Chris Moyles Saved Breakfast - Radio 1
2. Carry Us All - Oasis
3. If I Fell - The Beatles
4. You Get What You Give - New Radicals
5. I Get Around - Pennywise
Ska and Punk tends to have more of a play with existing songs and formats than mainstream pop; for this reason, gems like this never get airplay on commercial stations. In fact I think I heard it as a Superrequest on the J's before I bought the single (whatever it was).
1. 2003 Chris Moyles Saved Breakfast - Radio 1
2. Carry Us All - Oasis
3. If I Fell - The Beatles
4. You Get What You Give - New Radicals
5. I Get Around - Pennywise
August 11, 2005
Horse 385 - I am a lefty
In today's modern society this statement seems almost scandalous but seeing as governments are trying to negate their responsibilities by selling everything they have, society is worse off for it.
The national telco Telstra is a profitable business and has been the subject of countless ASIC investigations since the concept of anti-competitiveness was mooted but if you look at its stablemate Australia Post, it has neither the infrastructure nor the base from which to turn a profit and therefore no-one's pointed the finger.
Personally I think that all infrastructure providers be they electricity, water, telephone, roads, rail, airports etc are esentially public domain and therefore should be in the hands of a trustee, that is the government (for want of some better trustee) as custodian should not have had the rights to sell any of these.
There are a few counter arguments to public ownership of goods, the first of these is that property can not be publicly owned. This may be correct but a trustee holds property in trust for the benefit of the beneficiaries of the trust. Does this hold true for the government?
The capital consumption argument suggests that governments can not re-invest the profits generated by quangos. I argue this because all quangos are by inference run by an independant board of govenors and therefore must re-invest anything they have as prudent management - esentially no different from a public company.
So I'm a big lefty, but I argue that the government is no more incompetant than the private business who would run the same organisation afterwards. Profit motives can not plan beyond the next few years whereas governments need to look beyond the next elections, and sadly of late they don't.
The national telco Telstra is a profitable business and has been the subject of countless ASIC investigations since the concept of anti-competitiveness was mooted but if you look at its stablemate Australia Post, it has neither the infrastructure nor the base from which to turn a profit and therefore no-one's pointed the finger.
Personally I think that all infrastructure providers be they electricity, water, telephone, roads, rail, airports etc are esentially public domain and therefore should be in the hands of a trustee, that is the government (for want of some better trustee) as custodian should not have had the rights to sell any of these.
There are a few counter arguments to public ownership of goods, the first of these is that property can not be publicly owned. This may be correct but a trustee holds property in trust for the benefit of the beneficiaries of the trust. Does this hold true for the government?
The capital consumption argument suggests that governments can not re-invest the profits generated by quangos. I argue this because all quangos are by inference run by an independant board of govenors and therefore must re-invest anything they have as prudent management - esentially no different from a public company.
So I'm a big lefty, but I argue that the government is no more incompetant than the private business who would run the same organisation afterwards. Profit motives can not plan beyond the next few years whereas governments need to look beyond the next elections, and sadly of late they don't.
August 09, 2005
Horse 384 - 1000 Paper Cranes
Sadako Sasaki was a Japanese girl who lived near Misasa Bridge in Hiroshima, Japan. She was only two years old when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945. At the moment of explosion she was at her home, less than 2 miles from ground zero.
As she grew up, Sadako was a strong, courageous and athletic girl. In 1954, at age eleven, while practicing for a big race, she became dizzy and fell to the ground. Sadako was diagnosed with leukemia, which already in Japan had become known as the the "atom bomb disease".
Sadako's best friend told her of an old Japanese legend which said that anyone who folds a thousand origami paper cranes would be granted a wish. Sadako hoped that the gods would grant her a wish to get well so that she could run again. She spent fourteen months in the hospital, and she folded over 1,300 paper cranes before dying at the age of twelve. She folded the cranes out of her medicine bottle wrappers and any other paper she could find in hopes of getting better, to no avail...
In Hiroshima there stands a memorial in the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum depicting Sadako and one of the cranes she had folded. Also in the Peace Park is the 'Flame of Peace' that burns as long as Nuclear Weapons exist, I hope that one day we finally see it extinguished.
August 08, 2005
2 Quotes
Eisenhower wrote in his memoir The White House Years:
In 1945 Secretary of War Stimson, visiting my headquarters in Germany, informed me that our government was preparing to drop an atomic bomb on Japan. I was one of those who felt that there were a number of cogent reasons to question the wisdom of such an act? During his recitation of the relevant facts, I had been conscious of a feeling of depression and so I voiced to him my grave misgivings, first on the basis of my belief that Japan was already defeated and that dropping the bomb was completely unnecessary, and secondly because I thought that our country should avoid shocking world opinion by the use of a weapon whose employment, was I thought, no longer mandatory as a measure to save American lives.
MacArthur wrote in tabulations to a US Senate Committee:
Use of the atomic devices was completely unnecessary from a military point of view. We at that point had no intention to invade Japan, the threat of Russia entering the war with Japan on August 11 would have seen them accept the terms of Potsdam by well before September 1 and certainly Operation Starvation would have seen total surrender before October 1.
In 1945 Secretary of War Stimson, visiting my headquarters in Germany, informed me that our government was preparing to drop an atomic bomb on Japan. I was one of those who felt that there were a number of cogent reasons to question the wisdom of such an act? During his recitation of the relevant facts, I had been conscious of a feeling of depression and so I voiced to him my grave misgivings, first on the basis of my belief that Japan was already defeated and that dropping the bomb was completely unnecessary, and secondly because I thought that our country should avoid shocking world opinion by the use of a weapon whose employment, was I thought, no longer mandatory as a measure to save American lives.
MacArthur wrote in tabulations to a US Senate Committee:
Use of the atomic devices was completely unnecessary from a military point of view. We at that point had no intention to invade Japan, the threat of Russia entering the war with Japan on August 11 would have seen them accept the terms of Potsdam by well before September 1 and certainly Operation Starvation would have seen total surrender before October 1.
August 06, 2005
Horse 383 - Global Warming is Stupid
Can everyone quit their whining. Global warning is a fantastic idea. 99% of the world's population is saving up so that they can go somewhere on their holidays and all of a sudden global warming is a crime.
So there may be some layabouts on a Pacific island paradise who may get a bit wet, but how difficult is it to push a lean-to up a hill? The climate gives and the climate takes away. The climate gave them the paradise, so now it's time to take the good with the total flooding of their homes.
It is every generation's duty to leave a record of their being here. Do you think that the druids would have been harassed for leaving a few rocks? Would the Great Wall of China have been built if they had enviro-nazis?
How about asbestos? When that was found to be a dud, we invented fibreglass. Every generation solves the problems of the last and invents its own.
If future generations have a problem with the environment, tell them to get stuffed. I will not have whinging from people not yet born, and besides, I've always wanted to have a sunny beach holiday on Mawson Base, or in Wick or even in Oslo.
Who knows, within a generation we could develop the Orkneys so that they become a tourist resort like the Carribean, which would not only be cheaper in airfares for most Britons but because of the reduced air travel would actually save the environment because they wouldn't be putting as many pollutants into the air.
So there may be some layabouts on a Pacific island paradise who may get a bit wet, but how difficult is it to push a lean-to up a hill? The climate gives and the climate takes away. The climate gave them the paradise, so now it's time to take the good with the total flooding of their homes.
It is every generation's duty to leave a record of their being here. Do you think that the druids would have been harassed for leaving a few rocks? Would the Great Wall of China have been built if they had enviro-nazis?
How about asbestos? When that was found to be a dud, we invented fibreglass. Every generation solves the problems of the last and invents its own.
If future generations have a problem with the environment, tell them to get stuffed. I will not have whinging from people not yet born, and besides, I've always wanted to have a sunny beach holiday on Mawson Base, or in Wick or even in Oslo.
Who knows, within a generation we could develop the Orkneys so that they become a tourist resort like the Carribean, which would not only be cheaper in airfares for most Britons but because of the reduced air travel would actually save the environment because they wouldn't be putting as many pollutants into the air.
August 05, 2005
iFive - 5th Aug
One of the most enduring images that's ever been put on film is the rather famous performance of Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in 1961's Breakfast at Tiffany's. As a result she played one of the most iconic characters in 20th Century cinema.
Although she could act with a poise that's seldom seen, to be honest she really didn't have much of a voice of a voice for singing. That could explain why Moon River was the only song that she ever committed to vinyl and even then it wasn't on the official soundtrack until the reprint in 1962 but it's a voice that sounds so fragile that's its non-inclusion was a travesty.
1. Moon River - Audrey Hepburn
2. Fat Girl - Mark Foggo's Skasters
3. Little By Little - Oasis
4. What U Do 2 Me - Boomkat
5. Millenium - Robbie Williams
Although she could act with a poise that's seldom seen, to be honest she really didn't have much of a voice of a voice for singing. That could explain why Moon River was the only song that she ever committed to vinyl and even then it wasn't on the official soundtrack until the reprint in 1962 but it's a voice that sounds so fragile that's its non-inclusion was a travesty.
1. Moon River - Audrey Hepburn
2. Fat Girl - Mark Foggo's Skasters
3. Little By Little - Oasis
4. What U Do 2 Me - Boomkat
5. Millenium - Robbie Williams
Horse 382 - Adidas & Reebok
German sports goods firm Adidas-Salomon says it has struck an agreement to buy US rival Reebok for 3.1bn euros. The tie-up could create a challenger to Nike in the US market. The takeover still needs to be approved by Reebok shareholders and competition authorities. If cleared, the deal should be completed in early 2006.
Reebok's shares rose to $51 as reports of takeover talks appeared on the websites of financial papers. Adidas' offer is worth $59 per share in cash. The combined group will have worldwide athletic footwear sales of 9bn euros, Adidas said. It would have about 20% of the US sports shoe market, while Nike has 36%.
The combined group's brands will be anchored by the Adidas and Reebok labels, but will also include Taylormade, Rockport and the la-dee-da Greg Norman Collection.
I want to know if either of these two companies have thought of the consumer in all of this? What happens to the Westies, Bogans, Bunnas, Booners, Neds, Chavs, Parkies, Townies, Derros and Carnies? About the only group not affected will be the Kappa Slappers. What will they all wear now? Addibok? Reedas?
Who thinks of these people? When they make these decisions, and more importantly how will it affect society? It's going to be really strange when a liquor store is robbed by a "23 year old gent, in an Armani suit with a tweed jacket, Julius Marlowes and a trilby" rather than a "punk in a black Reebok tracksuit".
Reebok's shares rose to $51 as reports of takeover talks appeared on the websites of financial papers. Adidas' offer is worth $59 per share in cash. The combined group will have worldwide athletic footwear sales of 9bn euros, Adidas said. It would have about 20% of the US sports shoe market, while Nike has 36%.
The combined group's brands will be anchored by the Adidas and Reebok labels, but will also include Taylormade, Rockport and the la-dee-da Greg Norman Collection.
I want to know if either of these two companies have thought of the consumer in all of this? What happens to the Westies, Bogans, Bunnas, Booners, Neds, Chavs, Parkies, Townies, Derros and Carnies? About the only group not affected will be the Kappa Slappers. What will they all wear now? Addibok? Reedas?
Who thinks of these people? When they make these decisions, and more importantly how will it affect society? It's going to be really strange when a liquor store is robbed by a "23 year old gent, in an Armani suit with a tweed jacket, Julius Marlowes and a trilby" rather than a "punk in a black Reebok tracksuit".
August 03, 2005
Horse 381 - Very Smelly
We humans do not have a very good sense of smell it must be said. Although we can smell things that are poisonous or otherwise harmful to us, the actual size of the receptors in one's nose are only about the size of a fingernail.
Dogs on the other hand are very well known for their keen sense of smell. They're employed at airports and other security venues to stop dangerous and contaminating items from entering through customs and things like drugs from passing on board.
My question then is this: If dogs have such a brilliant sense of smell, why then do they have this bizarre need to put their noses into poo?
Smell particles (for want of a better term) in the environment hang around after the person or item has left for quite some time. If I was to sit on the lounge and then sit at the kitchen table, a dog would be able to tell where I've been up to 6 hours later and it's this ability that's employed when tracking game and people once they've gone missing.
Why smell poo for, given that they can smell things well after they've gone?
I put it to you that dogs have far different interests than we do. I bet that if there was a bakery, then we'd want to stand as close to it or even inside the building if we could to experience the glorious smell of baking bread.
Poo tells dogs who else has been there, almost like the dog version of the newspaper. I suppose it's akin to people reading Hello! magazine.
Then I had another thought. If they have such an acute sense of smell, then how come it isn't damaged by sticking their noses into such a putrid smell source like poo.
I suspect that it has something to do with the tissue that the nose is composed of. In humans there are only three places in the human body that comprise erectile tissue: two I don't care to mention and the other is in the nose. This is most evidenced by our ability to flare our nostrils.
In dogs, this erectile tissue must be able to somehow close down the olfactory sense to the point that only a fraction of those smell particles hit the receptors.
It still doesn't look good though.
Dogs on the other hand are very well known for their keen sense of smell. They're employed at airports and other security venues to stop dangerous and contaminating items from entering through customs and things like drugs from passing on board.
My question then is this: If dogs have such a brilliant sense of smell, why then do they have this bizarre need to put their noses into poo?
Smell particles (for want of a better term) in the environment hang around after the person or item has left for quite some time. If I was to sit on the lounge and then sit at the kitchen table, a dog would be able to tell where I've been up to 6 hours later and it's this ability that's employed when tracking game and people once they've gone missing.
Why smell poo for, given that they can smell things well after they've gone?
I put it to you that dogs have far different interests than we do. I bet that if there was a bakery, then we'd want to stand as close to it or even inside the building if we could to experience the glorious smell of baking bread.
Poo tells dogs who else has been there, almost like the dog version of the newspaper. I suppose it's akin to people reading Hello! magazine.
Then I had another thought. If they have such an acute sense of smell, then how come it isn't damaged by sticking their noses into such a putrid smell source like poo.
I suspect that it has something to do with the tissue that the nose is composed of. In humans there are only three places in the human body that comprise erectile tissue: two I don't care to mention and the other is in the nose. This is most evidenced by our ability to flare our nostrils.
In dogs, this erectile tissue must be able to somehow close down the olfactory sense to the point that only a fraction of those smell particles hit the receptors.
It still doesn't look good though.
August 02, 2005
Horse 380 - Nation shall speak peace unto nation
Micah 4:3
He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes for strong nations far and wide. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.
We shall beat our swords into plowshares.
One of the most famous sculptures of modern times stands in front of the United Nations headquarters in New York. There a powerfully built man is depicted beating a sword into a plowshare. It was sculpted by the Russian artist Ergenly Vuchetich and was dedicated in 1960. On the base are words, slightly altered from Isaiah 2:4 "We shall beat our swords into plowshares."
The thing that strikes me most about this in particular statue isn't what it is but the conditions under which it was created. The USSR was still very heavily communist and in the midst of The Cold War with the USA. It seems strange that a Russian of all people should cast a statue outside the UN headquarters, an organisation of which the Soviets were not members nor had any intent of joining at that time. It's even more ironic that the most powerful weapon ever created instilled fear into those who possessed it. The nuclear boogeyman quite ironically caused a peace far greater than the leaders would have allowed.
Nation shall speak peace unto nation
The BBC is a truly British institution, and I believe, their motto ,"Nation shall speak peace unto nation",is not merely rhetoric. The BBC , above all other media corporations seeks, not only to entertain and inform, but also to use the media for what it can best do for humanity, to educate.
No other British channel reaches so far beyond its shores. BBC websites are staggering in breadth and quality and how can we view this institution as conservative when, every day, it makes such very noble and extensive use of Internet technology to keep, not only its own people informed, but also the rest of the world?
Many people around the world rely on the BBC to provide their news via the World Service, news that is going on around the world without bias when under many circumstances their own governments try to control the state's media outlets. The Beeb because it's so large has to do its best to remain neutral under all circumstances through fear that any involvement could see loss of life of its own employees. Often it is via the BBC that many people around the world, learn English and it is for this reason more than any other that Received Pronunciation rather than American English is slowly becoming the standard.
Isaiah 2:1-3 is repeated in Micah 4:1-3; I'm quite sure that neither Isaiah nor Micah would have envisaged the world of the 21st century. I do know that both the founders of the UN and the governors of the BBC knew what they were doing when they borrowed these words though, peace is neither something that can be manufactured or won - it's usually the result of a surrender by one side after their sick and tired of hostilities.
The UN represents the world's wish to stop fighting each other, and the BBC for me represents the ideals to entertain and inform. Both in their own way are noble causes.
So what does this actually have to do with those passages in Isaiah and Micah? Well I don't know either, but perhaps a better scholar than I can find some link somewhere.
He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes for strong nations far and wide. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.
We shall beat our swords into plowshares.
One of the most famous sculptures of modern times stands in front of the United Nations headquarters in New York. There a powerfully built man is depicted beating a sword into a plowshare. It was sculpted by the Russian artist Ergenly Vuchetich and was dedicated in 1960. On the base are words, slightly altered from Isaiah 2:4 "We shall beat our swords into plowshares."
The thing that strikes me most about this in particular statue isn't what it is but the conditions under which it was created. The USSR was still very heavily communist and in the midst of The Cold War with the USA. It seems strange that a Russian of all people should cast a statue outside the UN headquarters, an organisation of which the Soviets were not members nor had any intent of joining at that time. It's even more ironic that the most powerful weapon ever created instilled fear into those who possessed it. The nuclear boogeyman quite ironically caused a peace far greater than the leaders would have allowed.
Nation shall speak peace unto nation
The BBC is a truly British institution, and I believe, their motto ,"Nation shall speak peace unto nation",is not merely rhetoric. The BBC , above all other media corporations seeks, not only to entertain and inform, but also to use the media for what it can best do for humanity, to educate.
No other British channel reaches so far beyond its shores. BBC websites are staggering in breadth and quality and how can we view this institution as conservative when, every day, it makes such very noble and extensive use of Internet technology to keep, not only its own people informed, but also the rest of the world?
Many people around the world rely on the BBC to provide their news via the World Service, news that is going on around the world without bias when under many circumstances their own governments try to control the state's media outlets. The Beeb because it's so large has to do its best to remain neutral under all circumstances through fear that any involvement could see loss of life of its own employees. Often it is via the BBC that many people around the world, learn English and it is for this reason more than any other that Received Pronunciation rather than American English is slowly becoming the standard.
Isaiah 2:1-3 is repeated in Micah 4:1-3; I'm quite sure that neither Isaiah nor Micah would have envisaged the world of the 21st century. I do know that both the founders of the UN and the governors of the BBC knew what they were doing when they borrowed these words though, peace is neither something that can be manufactured or won - it's usually the result of a surrender by one side after their sick and tired of hostilities.
The UN represents the world's wish to stop fighting each other, and the BBC for me represents the ideals to entertain and inform. Both in their own way are noble causes.
So what does this actually have to do with those passages in Isaiah and Micah? Well I don't know either, but perhaps a better scholar than I can find some link somewhere.
August 01, 2005
Horse 379 - Frequency Jamming
Today may be the horses' birthday but tommorrow 2nd Aug marks the 25th anniversary of FM radio in Australia. In Sydney specifically it meant the beginning of 5 radio stations ABC Classic, ABC Regional, 2DAY FM, 2MMM and 2JJJ.
Whereas the J's had already been birthed on AM, 2Day and Triple M effectively broke new ground. Triple M decided to go for the approach taken by V103 in NYC and become the "rock" station whereas 2Day followed Z100 and became the "pop" station.
Now I'm not necessarily saying that the OFP's* who grew up in the 70's & 80's are being bad like, but it seems awfully strange that yet again 2 new stations are copies of things overseas.
DMG's Nova networks are for all intents and purposes, the Australian commercial equivalent of the BBC's Radio 1. Now forgive me if I'm wrong here but it appears as though DMG is now trying to create Radio 2.
Tommorrow 2nd Aug, on the 25th anniversary of FM Radio marks the Australian startup of DMG's new station for the "over 40's", Vega 95.3. Vega radio is trying very very hard to steal the market from 2BL, WSFM, 2GB, Triple M and MIX.
It sounds all the world to be a repeat of the BBC's realignment of Radios 1 & 2 in 1990 when it was decided that Radio 2 should become "what Radio 1 was 20 years ago". But herein lies the conundrum Nova was not around in 1980; therefore internally they don't have a start point... or do they?
This week to mark the 25th anniversary of Triple M, they'll be pulling stuff out of the archives including "The Rev. Dr. Doug Mulray". If Vega want a history lesson to find out where tommorrow's futures yesterdays lie, then a listen to Triple M and BBC's Radio 2 just may be the start that they'll be looking for.
*OFP - Old Farty Pants. ©1995 BJD. http://www.bjd.au.com
Whereas the J's had already been birthed on AM, 2Day and Triple M effectively broke new ground. Triple M decided to go for the approach taken by V103 in NYC and become the "rock" station whereas 2Day followed Z100 and became the "pop" station.
Now I'm not necessarily saying that the OFP's* who grew up in the 70's & 80's are being bad like, but it seems awfully strange that yet again 2 new stations are copies of things overseas.
DMG's Nova networks are for all intents and purposes, the Australian commercial equivalent of the BBC's Radio 1. Now forgive me if I'm wrong here but it appears as though DMG is now trying to create Radio 2.
Tommorrow 2nd Aug, on the 25th anniversary of FM Radio marks the Australian startup of DMG's new station for the "over 40's", Vega 95.3. Vega radio is trying very very hard to steal the market from 2BL, WSFM, 2GB, Triple M and MIX.
It sounds all the world to be a repeat of the BBC's realignment of Radios 1 & 2 in 1990 when it was decided that Radio 2 should become "what Radio 1 was 20 years ago". But herein lies the conundrum Nova was not around in 1980; therefore internally they don't have a start point... or do they?
This week to mark the 25th anniversary of Triple M, they'll be pulling stuff out of the archives including "The Rev. Dr. Doug Mulray". If Vega want a history lesson to find out where tommorrow's futures yesterdays lie, then a listen to Triple M and BBC's Radio 2 just may be the start that they'll be looking for.
*OFP - Old Farty Pants. ©1995 BJD. http://www.bjd.au.com
July 29, 2005
Horse 378 - The War Against Terror
The War Against Terror, or TWAT, is commonly held to have begun on the 11th of September, 2001 when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in Baghdad. However, it was in fact started in 1492 when French terrorists attacked the World Dance Competition that was being held in Nigeria*.
The first mission of the TWATs is to rid the world of Widely Marketable Difibrillators or WMD, as they play a key role in numerous predicted terrorist attack strategies.
One such projected strategy is to to flood the global medicare market with cheap "meds" and crash the world's healthcare economy. As a result massive swathes of the aging Western population will fail to receive hip-replacements in time and die, leaving a lack of right-wing voters, allowing socialists to seize power and, through their idealistic ineptitude, bankrupt the West's economy. This scenario is known as the Raymond Burr Scenario due to its grannicidal element.
Another potential strategy of terrorists in possession of WMD is to use them as short-range assault weapons against members of the public. It is widely known that difibrillators possess the ability to fire bolts of lightning if attached to an appropriately large magnet - this power could tip the balance in favour of the terrorist in an urban combat scenario.
The Iraqi president Sandman Hussein was a known collector of WMD, as well as other less significant items such as Hans Blix™ and Plutonium. It made perfect sense, therefore, to depose him before he could hand such items to unsavoury individuals (e.g. Osama Bin Laden, Paul McCartney, Evil Bert) and allow a dastardly plot to unfurl. Given the highly efficient nature of the Iraqi postal service (Baghdad to Basra in 45 minutes or your money back) time was of the essence, and luckily the United Nations were easily persuaded to allow the plan to go ahead.
*Nigeria has since become the headquaters of the World Bank. This is evidenced by Nigeria's massive amount of surplus funds which need to be held in private bank accounts in foreign countries because there are no heirs for said funds.
The first mission of the TWATs is to rid the world of Widely Marketable Difibrillators or WMD, as they play a key role in numerous predicted terrorist attack strategies.
One such projected strategy is to to flood the global medicare market with cheap "meds" and crash the world's healthcare economy. As a result massive swathes of the aging Western population will fail to receive hip-replacements in time and die, leaving a lack of right-wing voters, allowing socialists to seize power and, through their idealistic ineptitude, bankrupt the West's economy. This scenario is known as the Raymond Burr Scenario due to its grannicidal element.
Another potential strategy of terrorists in possession of WMD is to use them as short-range assault weapons against members of the public. It is widely known that difibrillators possess the ability to fire bolts of lightning if attached to an appropriately large magnet - this power could tip the balance in favour of the terrorist in an urban combat scenario.
The Iraqi president Sandman Hussein was a known collector of WMD, as well as other less significant items such as Hans Blix™ and Plutonium. It made perfect sense, therefore, to depose him before he could hand such items to unsavoury individuals (e.g. Osama Bin Laden, Paul McCartney, Evil Bert) and allow a dastardly plot to unfurl. Given the highly efficient nature of the Iraqi postal service (Baghdad to Basra in 45 minutes or your money back) time was of the essence, and luckily the United Nations were easily persuaded to allow the plan to go ahead.
*Nigeria has since become the headquaters of the World Bank. This is evidenced by Nigeria's massive amount of surplus funds which need to be held in private bank accounts in foreign countries because there are no heirs for said funds.
July 27, 2005
Horse 377 - Dizzaholism
My name is Andrew and I am a recovering dizzaholic.
Dizzyness: The term is fairly vague, and can include a number of more specific conditions, ranging from harmless to life-threatening. One of the most common causes of dizziness is rapid spinning; this cause lent its name to the famous baseball pitcher Dizzy Dean of the St Louis Cardinals, whose windup while throwing the ball caused him to spin completely around.
Dizzaholism is a dependency on being dizzy; characterized by a strong craving to spin around in a circle very quickly. Sometimes those with the disorder will lead the sufferer to also use mechanical means such as an office chair or a park roundabout. Dizzaholism can be harder to break and significantly more damaging than dependence on most other addictive substances.
It usually affects young girls aged between 3-8 and boys aged 5-11, but if left untreated can lead onto harder forms of pursuit such as roller-coaster riding, motorbike riding and in extreme cases things like basejumping and skydiving.
I believe that it is a scourge in our community, only this afternoon I saw the brutal effects of Dizzaholism when a 6 year old girl spun around, fell over and began to cry. Clearly yet another innocent victim and one so young.
We must act quickly to end this terrible shadow on society or otherwise thousands of people may succumb and yes, even spill their ice-cream cones onto the pavement of despair.
Dizzyness: The term is fairly vague, and can include a number of more specific conditions, ranging from harmless to life-threatening. One of the most common causes of dizziness is rapid spinning; this cause lent its name to the famous baseball pitcher Dizzy Dean of the St Louis Cardinals, whose windup while throwing the ball caused him to spin completely around.
Dizzaholism is a dependency on being dizzy; characterized by a strong craving to spin around in a circle very quickly. Sometimes those with the disorder will lead the sufferer to also use mechanical means such as an office chair or a park roundabout. Dizzaholism can be harder to break and significantly more damaging than dependence on most other addictive substances.
It usually affects young girls aged between 3-8 and boys aged 5-11, but if left untreated can lead onto harder forms of pursuit such as roller-coaster riding, motorbike riding and in extreme cases things like basejumping and skydiving.
I believe that it is a scourge in our community, only this afternoon I saw the brutal effects of Dizzaholism when a 6 year old girl spun around, fell over and began to cry. Clearly yet another innocent victim and one so young.
We must act quickly to end this terrible shadow on society or otherwise thousands of people may succumb and yes, even spill their ice-cream cones onto the pavement of despair.
July 26, 2005
Horse 376 - Monaro - Game Over
The Monaro is to be scrapped. Holden announced yesterday that the last of the V8 coupes would roll off the Elizabeth production line later this year. Thanks to American jingoism, the Monaro is no more. The car which was taken up by Pontiac as the GTO saw bad press as Americans refused to buy "their GTO" when it was built in Australia. So then, Holden who were exporting the car have been forced to surrender their tooling equipment and send it to the US, thus rendering no more facilities in Australia.
I would usually say that this is a case of cultural imperialism gone mad but considering that GM owns Holden anyway, this is scant an explanation but Holden is hopeful of producing a new so-called muscle-car in the future.
The company claims sales had nothing to do with the decision to drop the Monaro after a special edition CV8-Z to be released next month. Despite some speculation die-moulds for the reincarnation of the 1960s and '70s performance leader had been sold to Pontiac, Holden spokesman Jason Laird on their website said he knew of no plans to build the car offshore. I don't know what happens about export programs for the coupe. I guess that they're just leaving it to each of the export markets to decide on product plans.
Whatever the reasons for these sort of rumblings, Monaro as we know it dies in November; likewise Vauxhall's HSV copy, VXR also loses Monaro as I very much doubt that there will ever be another RHD variant. Where does this leave VXR? As far as I can see they are left with their VX220 and the Astra Sport Hatch. It's going to be rather difficult for them to sell the brand now I wager.
Monaro RIP. 1968-1977 & 1997-2005
I would usually say that this is a case of cultural imperialism gone mad but considering that GM owns Holden anyway, this is scant an explanation but Holden is hopeful of producing a new so-called muscle-car in the future.
The company claims sales had nothing to do with the decision to drop the Monaro after a special edition CV8-Z to be released next month. Despite some speculation die-moulds for the reincarnation of the 1960s and '70s performance leader had been sold to Pontiac, Holden spokesman Jason Laird on their website said he knew of no plans to build the car offshore. I don't know what happens about export programs for the coupe. I guess that they're just leaving it to each of the export markets to decide on product plans.
Whatever the reasons for these sort of rumblings, Monaro as we know it dies in November; likewise Vauxhall's HSV copy, VXR also loses Monaro as I very much doubt that there will ever be another RHD variant. Where does this leave VXR? As far as I can see they are left with their VX220 and the Astra Sport Hatch. It's going to be rather difficult for them to sell the brand now I wager.
Monaro RIP. 1968-1977 & 1997-2005
July 22, 2005
iFive - 22nd Jul
Coming in at No.5 this week is a song by Morning Musume. The group is rather like an Idol type show with auditions being held roughly every six months. Shown as part of NHK's Hello! Project, Morning Musume has had 29 members who have been rolled through the group since 1997, generally they are no older than 22 years old. Suffice to say, it falls squarely in the J-Pop category of music.
J-Pop for the most part is even more upbeat that pop in the west, some would call it hyper. What a pity we don't get NHK on cable.
1. The Man From C&A - The Specials
2. Scott's A Dork - Reel Big Fish
3. Round Round - Sugababes
4. Tsunami - Southern All Stars
5. Yes! Pocky Girls - Morning Musume
J-Pop for the most part is even more upbeat that pop in the west, some would call it hyper. What a pity we don't get NHK on cable.
1. The Man From C&A - The Specials
2. Scott's A Dork - Reel Big Fish
3. Round Round - Sugababes
4. Tsunami - Southern All Stars
5. Yes! Pocky Girls - Morning Musume
July 21, 2005
Horse 375 - Road-Racing Cyclist Dies
Australian road-racing cyclist Amy Gillett was killed and five teammates injured when a car crashed into their group during a training ride. The accident happened Monday afternoon near Zeulenroda, south of Leipzig, where the six-member Australian Institute of Sports (AIS) women's road cycling squad was training for the Tour. The Australian team had a safety car behind the group, as is customary, but not in the front, organizers said.
Cycling Australia chief executive Graham Fredericks said two of the other riders, Louise Yaxley and Alexis Rhodes, were in a serious condition in intensive care at a local hospital. Fredericks also said the three other injured cyclists were in a stable condition.
The girl driving the Honda Civic who hit the cycling team head on had only received her drivers licence 4 weeks ago. She had swerved onto the wrong side of the road and hot them head on, then pranged her car into a ditch. She was also seriously injured and could not be interviewed by police yet. It is likely she can be charged with manslaughter.
While this is a great tragedy, I think it highlights something which quite frankly scares me as a driver. In the morning peak traffic periods, it is not uncommon to see cyclists and bicycle couriers not only weaving through traffic but worse, gambling with bus lanes.
It's not that cyclists shouldn't be allowed on roads, but there is a point in which caution and common sense has to be used. If a 1 tonne car hits a cyclist, then its usually the end of the cyclist.
Worse, by travelling in bus lanes, cyclists not only endanger themselves with far bigger objects than motor cars, but they annoy traffic generally which has to slow down to avoid buses.
I don't want to hit someone on a bike and if even elite sportspeople aren't immune to getting taken out by cars, then I think it's more than just a subtle warning that bicycles and cars don't mix.
Is punishment the answer here? A suspended licence is probably in order I suppose, but sending someone so young to prison on charges which are both unmeditated and quite harrowsome I don't think is a correct course of action and punitive damages won't solve the grief and the hurt that the family and loved ones of Miss Gillett must be going through.
Cycling Australia chief executive Graham Fredericks said two of the other riders, Louise Yaxley and Alexis Rhodes, were in a serious condition in intensive care at a local hospital. Fredericks also said the three other injured cyclists were in a stable condition.
The girl driving the Honda Civic who hit the cycling team head on had only received her drivers licence 4 weeks ago. She had swerved onto the wrong side of the road and hot them head on, then pranged her car into a ditch. She was also seriously injured and could not be interviewed by police yet. It is likely she can be charged with manslaughter.
While this is a great tragedy, I think it highlights something which quite frankly scares me as a driver. In the morning peak traffic periods, it is not uncommon to see cyclists and bicycle couriers not only weaving through traffic but worse, gambling with bus lanes.
It's not that cyclists shouldn't be allowed on roads, but there is a point in which caution and common sense has to be used. If a 1 tonne car hits a cyclist, then its usually the end of the cyclist.
Worse, by travelling in bus lanes, cyclists not only endanger themselves with far bigger objects than motor cars, but they annoy traffic generally which has to slow down to avoid buses.
I don't want to hit someone on a bike and if even elite sportspeople aren't immune to getting taken out by cars, then I think it's more than just a subtle warning that bicycles and cars don't mix.
Is punishment the answer here? A suspended licence is probably in order I suppose, but sending someone so young to prison on charges which are both unmeditated and quite harrowsome I don't think is a correct course of action and punitive damages won't solve the grief and the hurt that the family and loved ones of Miss Gillett must be going through.
July 20, 2005
Horse 374 - Elementary
I'm feeling very sciencey today, probably because on today the 20th of July, the words "that's one step for man, one giant leap for mankind" were uttered (with mistake) by Neil Armstrong. So in this vein of science, this epistle is loosely related.
Roentgenium or Rg is the Nelson's Number of chemical elements. Being 111 it used to have two far nicer names - Unununium and eka-gold. Due to its presence in Group 11 it is a transition metal and so probably would appear as a heavy, solid, shiny metal. One cannot speculate on whether it would be colored like gold or not.
Ununoctium or Uuo as element 118 must have some weird properties. It sits firmly in the Noble Gas column but it's too heavy to be a gas, so there is a distinct possibility that it could in fact be a noble metal. There is another problem, namely the problem of gravity. With 118 protons in the nucleus, at what point will the positive charge be enough for them all to repel each other thus overtaking gravity?
Illudium is a chemical element that exists on Mars. We know for a fact that it has highly explosive properties and that its chief known use is in the manufacture of Intergalatic Explosive Space Modulators. At least one Intergalatic Explosive Space Modulator has been trained upon the Earth because it obstructs the view of Venus from Mars.
Another element that bears mention is Phosdex, more commonly known as the "shaving cream atom" and only found on Planet X.
Common hydrogen has one proton, one electron, and no neutrons. Deuterium and tritium have, respectively, one and two neutrons per atom, and are used for hydrogen bombs. Quadium, following logic, must have three neutrons, and is, in the story, capable of blasting an entire continent off the face of the Earth, at least according to The Mouse That Roared.
and lastly... Davidtron.
A question was posed in my high school Physics class when someone on the same desk as me postulated that all unobserved matter in the universe could be explained via Davidtron.
Davidtron is an unobservable chihuahua shaped particle that only exists when it is unseen. If you look at a wall for instance, everything on the other side of the wall must be made of Davidtron. Thus because I can't see you as you're reading this, you are therefore made of Davidtron by my observation. If a tree falls in the woods and there is no-one around to hear or see it, then it must be made of Davidtron.
Roentgenium or Rg is the Nelson's Number of chemical elements. Being 111 it used to have two far nicer names - Unununium and eka-gold. Due to its presence in Group 11 it is a transition metal and so probably would appear as a heavy, solid, shiny metal. One cannot speculate on whether it would be colored like gold or not.
Ununoctium or Uuo as element 118 must have some weird properties. It sits firmly in the Noble Gas column but it's too heavy to be a gas, so there is a distinct possibility that it could in fact be a noble metal. There is another problem, namely the problem of gravity. With 118 protons in the nucleus, at what point will the positive charge be enough for them all to repel each other thus overtaking gravity?
Illudium is a chemical element that exists on Mars. We know for a fact that it has highly explosive properties and that its chief known use is in the manufacture of Intergalatic Explosive Space Modulators. At least one Intergalatic Explosive Space Modulator has been trained upon the Earth because it obstructs the view of Venus from Mars.
Another element that bears mention is Phosdex, more commonly known as the "shaving cream atom" and only found on Planet X.
Common hydrogen has one proton, one electron, and no neutrons. Deuterium and tritium have, respectively, one and two neutrons per atom, and are used for hydrogen bombs. Quadium, following logic, must have three neutrons, and is, in the story, capable of blasting an entire continent off the face of the Earth, at least according to The Mouse That Roared.
and lastly... Davidtron.
A question was posed in my high school Physics class when someone on the same desk as me postulated that all unobserved matter in the universe could be explained via Davidtron.
Davidtron is an unobservable chihuahua shaped particle that only exists when it is unseen. If you look at a wall for instance, everything on the other side of the wall must be made of Davidtron. Thus because I can't see you as you're reading this, you are therefore made of Davidtron by my observation. If a tree falls in the woods and there is no-one around to hear or see it, then it must be made of Davidtron.
July 19, 2005
Horse 373 - Bird Watching
No not like that. I know what you thought I meant and I only wish... but believe me, in Mosman it just isn't worth the effort.
Anyway.
This afternoon I sat in the park eating lunch and reading the paper when a big black magpie came down and hung around for about 5 minutes. Not content with the chips I had thrown out for it, it decided to go and get its mates. By that stage I'd finished with my chicken and chips so upon finding that there wasn't anything left, one of the little bastards decided that my the back of my head looked pretty delicious so it decided to have a chomp at that.
Not surprising I moved. A flock of Rainbow Lorikeets were having a domestic high up in the trees and I thought having just been through the reminder from the magpies (and with my head still bleeding) that I'd better keep my distance.
If you've not seen a Rainbow Lorikeet then you really are missing out. They hang around in massive groups rather like pigeons but unlike pigeons, they have a most impressive colour scheme. In fact it's so brilliant, it makes the Benetton catalogue look like EGA from the 80s.
Some galahs showed up for a bit. Now I've always thought that galahs apart from their odd coats of pink and grey rather look like businessmen standing around with their hands behind their back. Galahs have to be about the laziest of all the birds that you'll see in suburbia, even more so than seagulls who feast on rubbish squawking as they go, galahs merely walk about the place, picking at stuff as they go.
Speaking of seagulls, has anyone else noticed how extraordinarily interested they are in cricket? Invariably at least once a year you'll see a seagull get hit on the telly by a cricket ball on its merry way to the boundary.
The birds that really interest me are lyrebirds. So called because of the shape of their big tail plumes, they have an amazing ability to imitate anything that they hear. If you went to Taronga Zoo you may be inclined to call them the Pentax 35 bird, as that's the noise that they hear the most and the noise which by inference that they repeat.
Birds are great, especially considering you can eat some of them sometimes.
Anyway.
This afternoon I sat in the park eating lunch and reading the paper when a big black magpie came down and hung around for about 5 minutes. Not content with the chips I had thrown out for it, it decided to go and get its mates. By that stage I'd finished with my chicken and chips so upon finding that there wasn't anything left, one of the little bastards decided that my the back of my head looked pretty delicious so it decided to have a chomp at that.
Not surprising I moved. A flock of Rainbow Lorikeets were having a domestic high up in the trees and I thought having just been through the reminder from the magpies (and with my head still bleeding) that I'd better keep my distance.
If you've not seen a Rainbow Lorikeet then you really are missing out. They hang around in massive groups rather like pigeons but unlike pigeons, they have a most impressive colour scheme. In fact it's so brilliant, it makes the Benetton catalogue look like EGA from the 80s.
Some galahs showed up for a bit. Now I've always thought that galahs apart from their odd coats of pink and grey rather look like businessmen standing around with their hands behind their back. Galahs have to be about the laziest of all the birds that you'll see in suburbia, even more so than seagulls who feast on rubbish squawking as they go, galahs merely walk about the place, picking at stuff as they go.
Speaking of seagulls, has anyone else noticed how extraordinarily interested they are in cricket? Invariably at least once a year you'll see a seagull get hit on the telly by a cricket ball on its merry way to the boundary.
The birds that really interest me are lyrebirds. So called because of the shape of their big tail plumes, they have an amazing ability to imitate anything that they hear. If you went to Taronga Zoo you may be inclined to call them the Pentax 35 bird, as that's the noise that they hear the most and the noise which by inference that they repeat.
Birds are great, especially considering you can eat some of them sometimes.
July 18, 2005
Horse 372 - ID Cards?
The Howard Government in all its wisdom has decided that one of the best methods of stopping terrorism is to issue everyone in the country with a national ID card.Such a system has been trialed before. Once upon a time in a highly civilised nation with nice uniforms, if one wasn't in posession of their national identity papers they were killed on the spot.
I fail to see just how having a national ID card would have stopped the events in London. An ID card does not prevent explosions nor does it prevent the people who have possibly gone insane from acquiring the necessary devices to cause such explosions.
As for the threat of multiple identities. In the first instance if one wants to get a card, then what sorts of identification are they going to ask us for? Namely the ID that we already possess, i.e Driver's Licences, Birth Certificates etc. If these are already fradulent, then does this by inference create a non-fraudulent car obtained by legitimate means?
The only possible method I can see to stop identity fraud is to microchip the population at birth rather the same way that we chip animals such as dogs or cattle. We could even take this step one further and link it to our bank accounts, that way people would not be able to buy of sell anything unless they had the microchip.
Scaremongery? Mark of the beast? Possibly, possibly not but it does ask one very very pert question... WHY? The only reason that governments want these measures is to control the population in some regard. If anyone can convince me that there are only noble intents in having a national ID card, the by inference you've proven why we don't need one.
Perhaps I should step back from the edge just a bit here, as this all seems a bit paranoid. Forgive me just one second. In this world where our everymove is tracked by CCTV and entries in bank statements, it all makes you wonder doesn't it?
I fail to see just how having a national ID card would have stopped the events in London. An ID card does not prevent explosions nor does it prevent the people who have possibly gone insane from acquiring the necessary devices to cause such explosions.
As for the threat of multiple identities. In the first instance if one wants to get a card, then what sorts of identification are they going to ask us for? Namely the ID that we already possess, i.e Driver's Licences, Birth Certificates etc. If these are already fradulent, then does this by inference create a non-fraudulent car obtained by legitimate means?
The only possible method I can see to stop identity fraud is to microchip the population at birth rather the same way that we chip animals such as dogs or cattle. We could even take this step one further and link it to our bank accounts, that way people would not be able to buy of sell anything unless they had the microchip.
Scaremongery? Mark of the beast? Possibly, possibly not but it does ask one very very pert question... WHY? The only reason that governments want these measures is to control the population in some regard. If anyone can convince me that there are only noble intents in having a national ID card, the by inference you've proven why we don't need one.
Perhaps I should step back from the edge just a bit here, as this all seems a bit paranoid. Forgive me just one second. In this world where our everymove is tracked by CCTV and entries in bank statements, it all makes you wonder doesn't it?
July 15, 2005
Horse 371 - Terrorist Attack in London²
It seems as though within a week we may have found our suspects, and all come from Leeds. By studying CCTV pictures, police have identified 3 of the 4 bombers and are now piecing together the event of last thursday. All have been identified as being Muslims of Pakistani descent.
It's horrible to think that one particular faith are being persecuted by a group of fanatics that they cannot control. Several Muslim leaders are making sounds now about being more proactive. I think it's finally dawning on them that although the vast majority of Muslims deplore these activities, there has not been enough done internally to address the issues.
You can read all about the events through a variety of news sources, I'm getting mine from the Evening Standard and the Beeb at the moment but one thing strikes me as being slightly skewiff here. You'd think that if these people had been witting accessories to this sort of thing that they'd at least want to notify their loved ones or something. To date, no letters or videos have been found left to their families and friends at all, that's somewhat scary.
My speculation is that these suicide bombers were nothing of the sort. It doesn't follow that you would not leave a note, a video or whatever if you did not intend to return. You would also ensure that only those dearest to you knew that you had blown yourself up to avoid recrimination.
My guess is that they expected to arm the bombs and move off. Perhaps they were told to arm the bombs at a particulat time and they would then have 5 mins to get out of there. However, the bombs were primed to explode before this time or even instantly. Perhaps the person/s behind these attacks wanted some home grown Martyrs to suit his cause?
Just speculation.
It's horrible to think that one particular faith are being persecuted by a group of fanatics that they cannot control. Several Muslim leaders are making sounds now about being more proactive. I think it's finally dawning on them that although the vast majority of Muslims deplore these activities, there has not been enough done internally to address the issues.
You can read all about the events through a variety of news sources, I'm getting mine from the Evening Standard and the Beeb at the moment but one thing strikes me as being slightly skewiff here. You'd think that if these people had been witting accessories to this sort of thing that they'd at least want to notify their loved ones or something. To date, no letters or videos have been found left to their families and friends at all, that's somewhat scary.
My speculation is that these suicide bombers were nothing of the sort. It doesn't follow that you would not leave a note, a video or whatever if you did not intend to return. You would also ensure that only those dearest to you knew that you had blown yourself up to avoid recrimination.
My guess is that they expected to arm the bombs and move off. Perhaps they were told to arm the bombs at a particulat time and they would then have 5 mins to get out of there. However, the bombs were primed to explode before this time or even instantly. Perhaps the person/s behind these attacks wanted some home grown Martyrs to suit his cause?
Just speculation.
iFive - 15th Jul
iFive saw quite a lot of play as my boss took his holiday for the middle of the year. Consequently the iPod was more-or-less on continuous play for a week.
As I said back in Horse 259 I thought that Franz Ferdinand was the best album for 2004; upon hearing it again I tend to agree with my original opinion. News has it quietly on the wire (and not even the record stores in Australia know this yet) that their next album due for release in October will be unnamed. This sounds like a kooky idea but then the second bit of info which goes with that is even more strange. Their next album will look identical in packaging to their first except that it will be blue and not black.
I'm usually right when it comes to these things, my sources are pretty good.
1. All For You, Sophia - Franz Ferdinand
2. 24 - Jem
3. Anfield Rap - Brize E
4. Adam's Song - Blink 182
5. Hit That - The Offspring
As I said back in Horse 259 I thought that Franz Ferdinand was the best album for 2004; upon hearing it again I tend to agree with my original opinion. News has it quietly on the wire (and not even the record stores in Australia know this yet) that their next album due for release in October will be unnamed. This sounds like a kooky idea but then the second bit of info which goes with that is even more strange. Their next album will look identical in packaging to their first except that it will be blue and not black.
I'm usually right when it comes to these things, my sources are pretty good.
1. All For You, Sophia - Franz Ferdinand
2. 24 - Jem
3. Anfield Rap - Brize E
4. Adam's Song - Blink 182
5. Hit That - The Offspring
July 14, 2005
Horse 370 - Time Travel
I read in this week's New Scientist magazine that the equations under the general and special theories of relativity with regards time-travel have been solved (for going backwards at least).
Quantum theory, which describes small particles as both waves and matter, yields probabilities on the location of these particles, the particles appearing, in layman's terms, where the waves interfere with each other constructively.
Daniel Greenberger, of New York, and Karl Svozil, of Vienna, solved the equations for waves going backwards in time and found they always interfered destructively. This means the particles do not appear and the conundrum does not arise.
Now although the equations have been soved on paper the results are as yet not entirely useful, for while something may be theoretically possibly, actually being physically possible requires another step. The problem of going backwards implies that particles would have to not appear, does this mean that the particles which make up the individual in question would also not appear as well? Ie would some disappear by travelling backwards in time, and the corollary is if having gone backwards, do they gain particles which may not be their own on the way back?
I for one maintain the time-travel is impossible for one very simple reason. It is impossible to go slower than dead stop. Electrons and sub-atomic particles keep on spinning even at absolute zero, so to stop them and even "send them backwards" is just outside the realms of reality.
Then there is the Douglas Adams that in order for time-travel to be actually possible, in order to avoid the whole-sort-of-general-mish-mash that would arise, time-travel would have to be discovered simultaneously at all points in time in the history of the universe, and we should have by rights already have seen someone.
Unless someone can develop the necessary technology to escape that current space-time dimensions via a time travel device ala a TARDIS, then I doubt whether we'll ever hear (or already have heard of in the past, present, future tense) of a time traveller other than Dr. Who.
oh and BTW happy Bastille Day - start a revolution and chop the head off of French King
Quantum theory, which describes small particles as both waves and matter, yields probabilities on the location of these particles, the particles appearing, in layman's terms, where the waves interfere with each other constructively.
Daniel Greenberger, of New York, and Karl Svozil, of Vienna, solved the equations for waves going backwards in time and found they always interfered destructively. This means the particles do not appear and the conundrum does not arise.
Now although the equations have been soved on paper the results are as yet not entirely useful, for while something may be theoretically possibly, actually being physically possible requires another step. The problem of going backwards implies that particles would have to not appear, does this mean that the particles which make up the individual in question would also not appear as well? Ie would some disappear by travelling backwards in time, and the corollary is if having gone backwards, do they gain particles which may not be their own on the way back?
I for one maintain the time-travel is impossible for one very simple reason. It is impossible to go slower than dead stop. Electrons and sub-atomic particles keep on spinning even at absolute zero, so to stop them and even "send them backwards" is just outside the realms of reality.
Then there is the Douglas Adams that in order for time-travel to be actually possible, in order to avoid the whole-sort-of-general-mish-mash that would arise, time-travel would have to be discovered simultaneously at all points in time in the history of the universe, and we should have by rights already have seen someone.
Unless someone can develop the necessary technology to escape that current space-time dimensions via a time travel device ala a TARDIS, then I doubt whether we'll ever hear (or already have heard of in the past, present, future tense) of a time traveller other than Dr. Who.
oh and BTW happy Bastille Day - start a revolution and chop the head off of French King
July 12, 2005
Horse 369 - Opera House to Stand Forever
purilent little maggot that it is
What a pity, I hear on the radio that the Sydney Opera House has been included on the National Heritage List. This now means that the building has protected status.
When the building was first commissioned in 1959, Joern Utzon's design was not only impossible to build but actually difficult to even imitate. Utzon had so many disagreements with the builders that he walked away from the project vowing never again to return to Australian soil.The plan was to have the stage suspended from the ceiling which although a nice idea, would have been structurally unsound.
Work was started in 1959 and estimated that it would cost £5m, but by the time that the building was opened by HM the Queen in 1973, $55m had been poured into it, a state lotteries commission had been set up to subsidise it, Sydney lost it's tram network to help pay for it, and if that wasn't enough, the damn building was unfit for the purpose intended.
It is phyisically impossible to hold an opera in either the Opera Hall or the Concert Hall because the stage and orchestra pit is too small. If you've been inside the building you will have also noticed plastic donuts suspended from the roof. This is because the acoustics are so poor that the singers and concert players on stage can't hear themselves without them.
There is the annoying problem that the building carries an incredible amount of residual echo being finished in off-form concrete. The Sydney Opera House has one of the most advanced stereo systems in the world, and this is just to let the audience hear everything at the same time and not a dissident wave of garbled echo.
So as you could well imagine, I flipped when I heard the news this morning. They've actually decided to heritage list this piece of overblown and overpriced crap? It looks foul and shouldn't have been built in the first place, but then again we can always rely on our state government to spend our money wisely can't we?
$10bn on a water desalination plant, when a $2bn dam would provide 9 times more the capacity at a fifth of the cost also seems like a good idea we should pursue immediately.
What a pity, I hear on the radio that the Sydney Opera House has been included on the National Heritage List. This now means that the building has protected status.
When the building was first commissioned in 1959, Joern Utzon's design was not only impossible to build but actually difficult to even imitate. Utzon had so many disagreements with the builders that he walked away from the project vowing never again to return to Australian soil.The plan was to have the stage suspended from the ceiling which although a nice idea, would have been structurally unsound.
Work was started in 1959 and estimated that it would cost £5m, but by the time that the building was opened by HM the Queen in 1973, $55m had been poured into it, a state lotteries commission had been set up to subsidise it, Sydney lost it's tram network to help pay for it, and if that wasn't enough, the damn building was unfit for the purpose intended.
It is phyisically impossible to hold an opera in either the Opera Hall or the Concert Hall because the stage and orchestra pit is too small. If you've been inside the building you will have also noticed plastic donuts suspended from the roof. This is because the acoustics are so poor that the singers and concert players on stage can't hear themselves without them.
There is the annoying problem that the building carries an incredible amount of residual echo being finished in off-form concrete. The Sydney Opera House has one of the most advanced stereo systems in the world, and this is just to let the audience hear everything at the same time and not a dissident wave of garbled echo.
So as you could well imagine, I flipped when I heard the news this morning. They've actually decided to heritage list this piece of overblown and overpriced crap? It looks foul and shouldn't have been built in the first place, but then again we can always rely on our state government to spend our money wisely can't we?
$10bn on a water desalination plant, when a $2bn dam would provide 9 times more the capacity at a fifth of the cost also seems like a good idea we should pursue immediately.
July 11, 2005
Horse 368 - Thingo
Whilst thumbing through the dictionary I found that most redundant word in there. The word I was looking at was cadigan which the OED defines as a replacement word for thingamajig.
I had a think for a second and then came to the opinion that cadigan must be a self-defining word. Specifically the word acts as little more than a placeholder rather the place value of a zero in a cardinal number.
Typically placeholders occupy a syntactic space between nouns and pronouns. They typically function grammatically as nouns; their referents, however, must be supplied by context, like pronouns. They serve as placeholders for names of objects that are otherwise unknown or unspecified.
This sounds like an utterly stupid concept doesn't it? But we have so many of these things:
dingus, doodad, doohickey, doover, gadget, geebie, gizmo, thingamabob, thingamajig, thingummy, thingy, whatchamacallit, whatsitsname, widgets, you get the idea...
Then I thought that there must be more cadigans in everyday life. Lo and behold, there are four very common ones. Crap, stuff, junk, and shit are perhaps the most utilitarian cadigans in the English language, and to make matters worse, they're even mass nouns to boot as well.
I had a think for a second and then came to the opinion that cadigan must be a self-defining word. Specifically the word acts as little more than a placeholder rather the place value of a zero in a cardinal number.
Typically placeholders occupy a syntactic space between nouns and pronouns. They typically function grammatically as nouns; their referents, however, must be supplied by context, like pronouns. They serve as placeholders for names of objects that are otherwise unknown or unspecified.
This sounds like an utterly stupid concept doesn't it? But we have so many of these things:
dingus, doodad, doohickey, doover, gadget, geebie, gizmo, thingamabob, thingamajig, thingummy, thingy, whatchamacallit, whatsitsname, widgets, you get the idea...
Then I thought that there must be more cadigans in everyday life. Lo and behold, there are four very common ones. Crap, stuff, junk, and shit are perhaps the most utilitarian cadigans in the English language, and to make matters worse, they're even mass nouns to boot as well.
July 10, 2005
Horse 367 - Terrorist Attacks in London¹
Good Morning all,I would have replied earlier except that I've had a terrible case of the flu.
I shan't engage into theories as to why this happened, but I do have a theory into the modus operandii of this event.
The four explosions happened as follows:
Between Aldgate and Liverpool Street tube stations - Circle Line
Between King's Cross and Russell Square tube stations - Nothern Line
At Edgware Road tube station Circle Line
On a bus at Tavistock Square - Via King's Cros Bus Terminal
This in itself doesn't lend itself easily to an explanation as all of these trains and the bus were heading in four entirely different directions. Except when you consider their starting point. All of the trains left King's Cross at c.8:42am and the bus passed through the bus station at King's Cross.
The three bombs on the Underground trains on Thursday exploded almost simultaneously. Scotland Yard said the attacks took place within 50 seconds of each other.
It is my theory that the people who did this could have easily run around the station leaving the bombs on whatever train happened to be leaving at the time. If they then left something on the bus a short while later, it would have given them ample time to get a north bound mainline train out of St Pancras to the Midlands where they then could have flown out of the UK entirely.
I suggest that the reason why MI5 or MI6 didn't pick this up is becuase it was planned outside of the UK and in all likelyhood thye won't catch whoever did it because they're now long gone.
I shan't engage into theories as to why this happened, but I do have a theory into the modus operandii of this event.
The four explosions happened as follows:
Between Aldgate and Liverpool Street tube stations - Circle Line
Between King's Cross and Russell Square tube stations - Nothern Line
At Edgware Road tube station Circle Line
On a bus at Tavistock Square - Via King's Cros Bus Terminal
This in itself doesn't lend itself easily to an explanation as all of these trains and the bus were heading in four entirely different directions. Except when you consider their starting point. All of the trains left King's Cross at c.8:42am and the bus passed through the bus station at King's Cross.
The three bombs on the Underground trains on Thursday exploded almost simultaneously. Scotland Yard said the attacks took place within 50 seconds of each other.
It is my theory that the people who did this could have easily run around the station leaving the bombs on whatever train happened to be leaving at the time. If they then left something on the bus a short while later, it would have given them ample time to get a north bound mainline train out of St Pancras to the Midlands where they then could have flown out of the UK entirely.
I suggest that the reason why MI5 or MI6 didn't pick this up is becuase it was planned outside of the UK and in all likelyhood thye won't catch whoever did it because they're now long gone.
July 04, 2005
Horse 366 - 4th July - That Tea Party
Following the Seven Years War (1756-1763) with France, England went through a series of financial crisis and as a result of which, it was obliged to impose taxes on many products. Among them in particular were goods destined for the colonies, including wine, sugar, molasses, and tea.
The Stamp Act of 1765, and a little later the Townshend Act of 1769 enunciated these taxes, setting off a huge wave of protest. The colonists in America distributed tracts and organized a boycott campaign and nany newspapers published a declaration renouncing tea. This push by local media effectively replaced tea with infusions of local herbs or berries, with coffee, or with contraband tea imported mostly by Dutch merchants.
Merchants in the colonies refused to buy from the East India Company and even though the Tea Act of 1773 reduced taxes, the agitation continued. The East India Company decided to export cargoes of tea to America, intended for sale directly to the colonists, without going through the merchants.
In December, three of the company's ships, the Dartmouth, Eleonor, and the Beaver reached port in Boston. During the night of December 16, a group of 150 patriots led by the merchant John Brown, took the boats by force and threw their cargo into the sea. In return, London forbade all commerce with Boston. The other American cities joined in a united front, burning or throwing into the sea other English cargoes of tea. The stakes grew as skirmishes escalated into battles, and the United States ended up winning their independence in 1776.
It goes without saying that tea is not responsible for the independence of the United States. Nevertheless, tea was seen as a symbol of the intolerable relationship between colonies and the mother country. After independence, many Americans remained faithful to coffee, and the consumption of tea would never again reach the levels attained in the preceding era. To this day it is virtually impossible to find an American who knows how to brew a decent cup of tea without chucking it into the harbour.
The Stamp Act of 1765, and a little later the Townshend Act of 1769 enunciated these taxes, setting off a huge wave of protest. The colonists in America distributed tracts and organized a boycott campaign and nany newspapers published a declaration renouncing tea. This push by local media effectively replaced tea with infusions of local herbs or berries, with coffee, or with contraband tea imported mostly by Dutch merchants.
Merchants in the colonies refused to buy from the East India Company and even though the Tea Act of 1773 reduced taxes, the agitation continued. The East India Company decided to export cargoes of tea to America, intended for sale directly to the colonists, without going through the merchants.
In December, three of the company's ships, the Dartmouth, Eleonor, and the Beaver reached port in Boston. During the night of December 16, a group of 150 patriots led by the merchant John Brown, took the boats by force and threw their cargo into the sea. In return, London forbade all commerce with Boston. The other American cities joined in a united front, burning or throwing into the sea other English cargoes of tea. The stakes grew as skirmishes escalated into battles, and the United States ended up winning their independence in 1776.
It goes without saying that tea is not responsible for the independence of the United States. Nevertheless, tea was seen as a symbol of the intolerable relationship between colonies and the mother country. After independence, many Americans remained faithful to coffee, and the consumption of tea would never again reach the levels attained in the preceding era. To this day it is virtually impossible to find an American who knows how to brew a decent cup of tea without chucking it into the harbour.
July 03, 2005
Horse 365 - The Ruff
A group of us were in a public house at about 3am this morning in for a bit of the craic and watching the Championships as Miss Williams fought back to win 4-6 7-6 9-7 and as England recovered from the deepest hole one could dig one's self into as they came back to tie the ODI final at Thomas Lord's bit of dirt.
Invariably the conversation at some point will come around to the mystery that is the gammet of the relational gap between chaps and ladies when a rather interesting point was put forward.
It seems as though that the last 400 years has entirely changed not only the methods used by either sex to go courting but the dress which they use. In Shakespearian England a dander young suitor would often parade in the finery of a ruff. 'Twas at this point that we decided that something was very amiss with society today.
Women know very well that to attract a paramour that blokes are highly visual in their stimulus inputs but for some strange reason, blokes over time have become more standardised and less visually exciting to the ladies. A peacock for instance will be dressed in finery according to their plumage, but to quote the lovely Samantha from last night "Most guys just look the same. Real serious in black suits and stuff"
When you think about it, even in the workplace the pressure for a lady to have a different set of outfits and to accessorise them on a daily basis is probably quite taxing but for chaps, one could in theory get away with one black suit, a white shirt and a few ties.
And that's really when it boils down what the only difference is in a lot of cases. It's funny how what was once used to blow once nose into became a marker of difference... to which we said BRING BACK THE RUFF!
Invariably the conversation at some point will come around to the mystery that is the gammet of the relational gap between chaps and ladies when a rather interesting point was put forward.
It seems as though that the last 400 years has entirely changed not only the methods used by either sex to go courting but the dress which they use. In Shakespearian England a dander young suitor would often parade in the finery of a ruff. 'Twas at this point that we decided that something was very amiss with society today.
Women know very well that to attract a paramour that blokes are highly visual in their stimulus inputs but for some strange reason, blokes over time have become more standardised and less visually exciting to the ladies. A peacock for instance will be dressed in finery according to their plumage, but to quote the lovely Samantha from last night "Most guys just look the same. Real serious in black suits and stuff"
When you think about it, even in the workplace the pressure for a lady to have a different set of outfits and to accessorise them on a daily basis is probably quite taxing but for chaps, one could in theory get away with one black suit, a white shirt and a few ties.
And that's really when it boils down what the only difference is in a lot of cases. It's funny how what was once used to blow once nose into became a marker of difference... to which we said BRING BACK THE RUFF!
July 01, 2005
iFive - 1st Jul
With Geri Halliwell's album Passion not slated for release until Jul 6, I bought a little Hip-Hop disc by Jemma Griffiths or Jem. They is a trippy little number that sounds like hip-hop meets 1957. I guess Jem sounds a bit like Dido but that wouldn't do her justice, more like anti-Coldplay.
Apparantly most of her album Finally Woken appears as part of the soundtrack to The OC, but I wouldn't have a clue. I doubt whether it would make the Billboard Top 100, it's just too subtle.
The film clip for this is one of those bounce-your-eyes type clips. Apparantly they actually went up in a 707 to create the weightlessness effect. Some useful camera angles help as well.
1. Jem - They
2. Part of the Queue - Oasis
3. Track 3 - John Safran
4. Always Coca-Cola - Advert
5. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
Apparantly most of her album Finally Woken appears as part of the soundtrack to The OC, but I wouldn't have a clue. I doubt whether it would make the Billboard Top 100, it's just too subtle.
The film clip for this is one of those bounce-your-eyes type clips. Apparantly they actually went up in a 707 to create the weightlessness effect. Some useful camera angles help as well.
1. Jem - They
2. Part of the Queue - Oasis
3. Track 3 - John Safran
4. Always Coca-Cola - Advert
5. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
June 30, 2005
Horse 364 - Viva Holden! ... or is that Holden Viva
Do you remember back in Horse 358 how I suggested that Holden had "long term plans to replace all the cars below Commodore with Korean built examples"? Well surprise, surprise, Holden has confirmed it will introduce two 4-cylinder produced in Korea later this year.
The new Holden Barina, read re-badged Daewoo Kalos, replaces the existing Corsa/Barina and Holden Viva will hit showrooms to cut Holden’s small car prices at the budget end of the market. Barina and Viva will include design and engineering influences from Holden, particularly in areas such as chassis and engine performance to ensure driving characteristics reflect expectations of Holden buyers and meet the harsh thumping conditions of Australian roads.
The TK Barina will replace the existing XC model while the JF Viva will establish a new nameplate for Holden between Barina and the AH Astra series. The TS Astra Classic will be phased out as Viva is introduced into dealers. The TK Barina will be available in 3-door and 5-door hatch variants while the Viva will come in 4-door sedan, 5-door hatch and 5-door wagon variants.
The two-way relationship between Holden and its South Korean counterpart is growing stronger it seems, this has been cemented with the introduction of Barina and Viva. Holden has exported 4-cylinder engines to South Korea for many years and this year began shipments of the Daewoo Statesman from Australia to South Korea.
So my Prawny Bard your baby Astra is set to miss out on seeing it's kids anymore, instead it will be saying hello to it's eastern cousins from Busan.
June 28, 2005
Horse 363 - Rain?
For the last few days it's been raining...
Southern Baptist Preacher:
You know, people have been coming up to me lately and saying:
"Oh Phooey it's raining"
Well I tell you that this has got to stop! We can't be bagging rain, I mean, what is it that makes out flowers grow? What is it that keeps our rivers wet? Why, it's rain.
Without rain there'd be no plants to give us food. Without rain there'd be no rivers and creeks and streams for our children to play in. Without rain there'd be no water in the tap to drink. You couldn't wash anything, you couldn't make cement, you couldn't go swimming, even my little fish Albert wouldn't have anywhere to live.
So it's about time we got behind rain. Support your local rain cloud, learn to love rain, it's one of the sky's most important products.
God bless you, be good to your family and remember to always: Pray for rain.
Personally it hope it keeps on going for a while, except for the incessant whinging of the farmers.
Six Year Old Kid:
Whinge whinge whinge there's no rain and we can't grow anything and we want drought relief money. Whinge whinge whinge there's too much rain and we can't harvest anything and we want flood relief money. Why can't the government do something about it instead of ripping us farmers off? It's the government's fault you know. If they'd put in decent cloud making machines 40 years ago then we'd have lots of rain today.
Then there is always the Big Brother argument.
Yorkshireman:
I remember when rain was clean and wholesome. Now it seems you can't step outside without some little nimbus dropping it's condence in the shower. I tell you it's little more than precipitation for the masses.
...ah I think I'm done now.
Southern Baptist Preacher:
You know, people have been coming up to me lately and saying:
"Oh Phooey it's raining"
Well I tell you that this has got to stop! We can't be bagging rain, I mean, what is it that makes out flowers grow? What is it that keeps our rivers wet? Why, it's rain.
Without rain there'd be no plants to give us food. Without rain there'd be no rivers and creeks and streams for our children to play in. Without rain there'd be no water in the tap to drink. You couldn't wash anything, you couldn't make cement, you couldn't go swimming, even my little fish Albert wouldn't have anywhere to live.
So it's about time we got behind rain. Support your local rain cloud, learn to love rain, it's one of the sky's most important products.
God bless you, be good to your family and remember to always: Pray for rain.
Personally it hope it keeps on going for a while, except for the incessant whinging of the farmers.
Six Year Old Kid:
Whinge whinge whinge there's no rain and we can't grow anything and we want drought relief money. Whinge whinge whinge there's too much rain and we can't harvest anything and we want flood relief money. Why can't the government do something about it instead of ripping us farmers off? It's the government's fault you know. If they'd put in decent cloud making machines 40 years ago then we'd have lots of rain today.
Then there is always the Big Brother argument.
Yorkshireman:
I remember when rain was clean and wholesome. Now it seems you can't step outside without some little nimbus dropping it's condence in the shower. I tell you it's little more than precipitation for the masses.
...ah I think I'm done now.
June 24, 2005
iFive - 24th Jun
Lazaro's Dog is one of those bands which everyone has heard a song of, but never heard or seen the band at all. Like Yello's "Oh Yeah" from the film Ferris Bueller's Day Off, everyone I know can sing Home Entertainment System word for word. This is not at least caused in part by the appearance on the Sony advert.
I predict that The Caesars with Jerk It Out will be another such song. Although it appeared in FIFA 2004 it's most famous for it's part in the iPod Shuffle commercial. Ironically, the CD is copy controlled in Australia which means that even if you bought a legitamate copy in Australia then you couldn't actually play it anyway... at least not through iTunes - yeah, good work Sony.
1. Could Well Be In - The Streets
2. Poprocks & Coke - Green Day
3. Sport on Two - Radio 2
4. Home Entertainment System - Lazaro's Dog
5. Rise to the Challenge - Asian Dub Foundation
I predict that The Caesars with Jerk It Out will be another such song. Although it appeared in FIFA 2004 it's most famous for it's part in the iPod Shuffle commercial. Ironically, the CD is copy controlled in Australia which means that even if you bought a legitamate copy in Australia then you couldn't actually play it anyway... at least not through iTunes - yeah, good work Sony.
1. Could Well Be In - The Streets
2. Poprocks & Coke - Green Day
3. Sport on Two - Radio 2
4. Home Entertainment System - Lazaro's Dog
5. Rise to the Challenge - Asian Dub Foundation
June 23, 2005
Horse 362 - Feng Shui
Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese practice of placement and arrangement of space to achieve harmony with the environment. The practice is estimated to be more than three thousand years old.
Feng Shui literally means wind and water in Chinese or in its original expression: Wind is that which cannot be seen or invisible and water is that which cannot be grasped or elusive. Therefore Feng Shui is a life-force/entity thingamybob which must be both Invisible & Elusive.
Various tabloid magazines explain that Feng Shui is the arrangement of objects within a home to obtain an optimum flow of qi (which I assume to be soem sort of magical energy); however this qi has never been observed and many believe that certain, filthy, low-down, dirty, double crossing, no-good, scoundrel, corrupt interior designers have abused this concept to profit from poor, innocent yet naïve consumers.
I however think that Feng Shui is a marvellous idea and before you tell me how New Age radical I am, I must explain myself.
Being winter, my bedroom is very cold; therefore by carefully placing a heater in the room, heat energy will make it less cold. Also if I install a second power point, energy will flow down the cable into the heater rather than an existing extension cord across the room which I might trip over.
Also, I think it might be a good idea not to put too many books on top of the bookshelf in case they develop kinetic energy and fall on my head if the door slams.
Later on this evening I might even use Feng Shui on my car by getting qi to flow into my petrol tank via stored chemical energy of the petrol to create even more kinetic energy when I put my foot to the floor.
What a marvellous idea Feng Shui is. Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter in the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. In essence, energy can be converted from one form into another.
Energy exists in many forms, such as heat, light, chemical energy, and electrical energy. Energy is the ability to bring about change or to do work. It seems to me as though Feng Shui is just a shorthand method of saying The First Law of Thermodynamics.
Feng Shui literally means wind and water in Chinese or in its original expression: Wind is that which cannot be seen or invisible and water is that which cannot be grasped or elusive. Therefore Feng Shui is a life-force/entity thingamybob which must be both Invisible & Elusive.
Various tabloid magazines explain that Feng Shui is the arrangement of objects within a home to obtain an optimum flow of qi (which I assume to be soem sort of magical energy); however this qi has never been observed and many believe that certain, filthy, low-down, dirty, double crossing, no-good, scoundrel, corrupt interior designers have abused this concept to profit from poor, innocent yet naïve consumers.
I however think that Feng Shui is a marvellous idea and before you tell me how New Age radical I am, I must explain myself.
Being winter, my bedroom is very cold; therefore by carefully placing a heater in the room, heat energy will make it less cold. Also if I install a second power point, energy will flow down the cable into the heater rather than an existing extension cord across the room which I might trip over.
Also, I think it might be a good idea not to put too many books on top of the bookshelf in case they develop kinetic energy and fall on my head if the door slams.
Later on this evening I might even use Feng Shui on my car by getting qi to flow into my petrol tank via stored chemical energy of the petrol to create even more kinetic energy when I put my foot to the floor.
What a marvellous idea Feng Shui is. Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter in the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another. The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. In essence, energy can be converted from one form into another.
Energy exists in many forms, such as heat, light, chemical energy, and electrical energy. Energy is the ability to bring about change or to do work. It seems to me as though Feng Shui is just a shorthand method of saying The First Law of Thermodynamics.
June 22, 2005
Horse 361 - The Office
Channel 10 are shouting from the rooftops about their new comedy The Office, saying that it breaks new ground in comedy. What they don't tell you is that this series (already shown of Fox 8) is a remake, and a poor one at that.
The British show (made by the BBC and seen here on the ABC) is set in Slough, England, in a small branch of the fictitious paper company Wernham Hogg. The office is managed by David Brent along with his assistant Gareth, a lieutenant in the Territorial Army. Much of the comedic success of the series stems from David, who tries to be his employees' best friend even as he is an office tyrant.
The British show (made by the BBC and seen here on the ABC) is set in Slough, England, in a small branch of the fictitious paper company Wernham Hogg. The office is managed by David Brent along with his assistant Gareth, a lieutenant in the Territorial Army. Much of the comedic success of the series stems from David, who tries to be his employees' best friend even as he is an office tyrant.
David's character flaws are used to comic effect, including numerous verbal gaffes, unconscious racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination. The British show has no laugh track, and is designed to resemble a fly-on-the-wall documentary (mostly because when it began, the show's budget was skimpy - as is typical from the Beeb).
Other office denizens include the unassuming Tim, whose flirtation with bored receptionist Dawn is a major arc in the series because she is engaged to warehouse worker Lee; of course a rather subdued love triangle is played out.
The problem is that The Office is... crap.
Other office denizens include the unassuming Tim, whose flirtation with bored receptionist Dawn is a major arc in the series because she is engaged to warehouse worker Lee; of course a rather subdued love triangle is played out.
The problem is that The Office is... crap.
As far as situation comedy goes, it simply isn't funny. Gervais as a comedic writer, is awful. This is slightly worse than an average university revue comedy, which someone got commissioned by the Been, probably because Gervais knew someone. Jokes, if they can be said to be that, are tired. The real test of Ricky Gervais will be if he ever appears on Radio 4's "Just A Minute". If he does not, which I suspect that he never will, it will be because he lacks the comedic chops to do so.
After the original British series won two Golden Globes, an American version of The Office was created by NBC. Though it retains the same title, the American version of the show is set in Scranton, Pennsylvania (which is equally as boring as Slough I assume). NBC has described it as a faster-paced version of the original; I describe it as equally crap.
The original writer Ricky Gervais said before the premiere that it would probably have actors with better teeth but this is about all it has. Gone are the subtleties of the original like the hum of lights and the awkwardness of the staff, also gone is the slimyness portrayed by the boss, replaced by American brash cynicism which just makes this look like any other sitcom.
So then Channel 10, it looks like you've bought a failure... pity really.
After the original British series won two Golden Globes, an American version of The Office was created by NBC. Though it retains the same title, the American version of the show is set in Scranton, Pennsylvania (which is equally as boring as Slough I assume). NBC has described it as a faster-paced version of the original; I describe it as equally crap.
The original writer Ricky Gervais said before the premiere that it would probably have actors with better teeth but this is about all it has. Gone are the subtleties of the original like the hum of lights and the awkwardness of the staff, also gone is the slimyness portrayed by the boss, replaced by American brash cynicism which just makes this look like any other sitcom.
So then Channel 10, it looks like you've bought a failure... pity really.
June 21, 2005
Horse 360 - Etats Unis Petit Prix
How many cars do you see here? 26? 20? 10 even? Try SIX, and this is just the just of the US Grand Prix.
Michelin teams have been ordered to explain their part in the US Grand Prix tyre fiasco at a hearing of Formula One's ruling body later this month. The hearing is set to take place in Paris on 29 June, the FIA said in a statement on Monday.
All seven teams using Michelin tyres withdrew from Sunday's race after the company admitted problems with them. Their request for the installation of temporary chicane to reduce speeds was rejected by the FIA.
The six cars which started the race were all on Bridgestone tyres, including eventual winner and Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher. Team boss Frank Williams said the Michelin teams were willing to race for no points as long as a chicane was added on to the circuit.
The problems in Indianapolis came to a head when two Toyotas crashed in free practice on Friday, thought to be as a result of tyre failure. Michelin checked all their tyres and conducted similar tests in France, concluding that there could be no guarantees of safety.
The technical director of Michelin, Frederic Henry-Biabaud blamed the specifics of the Indianapolis track and he hit out at motor racing's governing body, the FIA, for failing to agree to a compromise.
This is perhaps what is most frightening. Most F1 circuits have runoff areas at the edge of the track, Indianapolis doesn't. If this had happened at say Silverstone or Monza then the two Toyotas would have simply ended up in the gravel and little more would have been said.At the end of the day, drivers aren't paid to kill themselves and it's better in the interests of safety to have not raced rather than have another weekend like Imola in 1994 when Roland Ratzenberger and Ayrton Senna both died.
Team officials, F1 chief Bernie Ecclestone, and at one point all 20 drivers were locked in lengthy talks in a bid to save the race. The teams emerged to say nine of them had agreed to race with a chicane at Schumacher's accident spot. But Ferrari objected and F1 officials had already ruled out making a change to the track. That's right Ferrari, who by clever working of concorde very nearly threw Minardi out of the Australian GP.
The Italian team vetoed a plan agreed by all the other teams to introduce a chicane at the final corner, which was where Ralf Schumacher had hit the wall at 340km/h on Friday.
Formula One has made itself look stupid on a number of occasions in recent years but the fiasco that was the 2005 United States Grand Prix took it to a new low. Any number of solutions were possible, even if all of them had their inherent problems. What was needed was someone who could cut through the fog of self-interest and find a solution to staging a race and it is worrying for the entire future of the sport, let alone its future in America, that no-one could do that on Sunday.
June 20, 2005
Horse 359 - Parking Inspectors
Grey Ghosts, Blue Bombers, call them what you will; by any other name they'd still be hated by all and sundry. I speak of none other than the scourge of common trade and the source of much inconvenience, the parking inspector.
These municipal council appointed parking stasis must take joy from being the most hated people in the community. It's not just the odd occasion when I've been parked legitimately to find an offending yellow envelope stuffed under the wiper blades of the Ka.
And is it just me or are the women (and I use the term loosely) employed by Mosman Municipal Council frightfully butch? What is it with dykes and bad haircuts and uniforms? Did these people fail at being police? A few years ago I would have accused them of being stupid, but let's be honest, no-one is too stupid to be a police officer in NSW today.
Why can't they be doing something useful? There seems to be an abundance of graffiti on the walls and streets and let's not forget terrorism: it seems that you can't walk down the street without someone else being accused of being a terrorist.
I say give them all handguns and let them loose on the youth gangs. Whatever happens we'd all win.
These municipal council appointed parking stasis must take joy from being the most hated people in the community. It's not just the odd occasion when I've been parked legitimately to find an offending yellow envelope stuffed under the wiper blades of the Ka.
And is it just me or are the women (and I use the term loosely) employed by Mosman Municipal Council frightfully butch? What is it with dykes and bad haircuts and uniforms? Did these people fail at being police? A few years ago I would have accused them of being stupid, but let's be honest, no-one is too stupid to be a police officer in NSW today.
Why can't they be doing something useful? There seems to be an abundance of graffiti on the walls and streets and let's not forget terrorism: it seems that you can't walk down the street without someone else being accused of being a terrorist.
I say give them all handguns and let them loose on the youth gangs. Whatever happens we'd all win.
June 17, 2005
iFive - 17th Jun
iPod does pop is the message that the little white brick gave me in the last set of seven. Not content with rambling around with rock music, it decided to play songs which no regular bloke would usually admit to having - but rules are rules. I make no apologies for the summery plastic pop music on my iPod. There has to be a balance to offset angry guitars and angsty lyrics.
Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice) has now got two solo albums. They'll never make it to Radio 1 playlists and perhaps were always destined for Radio 2 but it still says something that she has sold more records than Mel C (whose latest outing Beautiful Intentions belongs in the microwave).
Indeed Free Me sounds like it would have topped the charts in 1966, even the title track could have been in the opening sequence to a Bond film (those silhouetted bits).
1. Free Me - Emma Bunton
2. Kiss Kiss - Holly Valance
3. More More More - Rachel Stevens
4. Unforgiven II - Metallica
5. Take Back - Green Day
Emma Bunton (aka Baby Spice) has now got two solo albums. They'll never make it to Radio 1 playlists and perhaps were always destined for Radio 2 but it still says something that she has sold more records than Mel C (whose latest outing Beautiful Intentions belongs in the microwave).
Indeed Free Me sounds like it would have topped the charts in 1966, even the title track could have been in the opening sequence to a Bond film (those silhouetted bits).
1. Free Me - Emma Bunton
2. Kiss Kiss - Holly Valance
3. More More More - Rachel Stevens
4. Unforgiven II - Metallica
5. Take Back - Green Day
June 16, 2005
Horse 358 - GM
What's good for the General Boomers (boom) is good for the USA.
But all is not well at the giant car maker. There is talk of 25,000 jobs to be cuts over the next 3 years and already one of the brands stateside has already suffered the chop, one can no longer buy an Oldsmobile.
Of all the brands in the GM group worldwide, there are only 4 that turned a profit in 2004; Isuzu, Vauxhall, Daewoo and Holden.
Isuzu Trucks picked up a major boost in 2002 when Sumitomo Bank started to write off bad debts in Korea. This then meant that in Japan Isuzu's biggest competitor, Mitsubishi was cash-strapped and when they suffered a league of poor reports of poor build quality then Isuzu came in and stole market share.
Vauxhall of the UK is closely tied to Adam Opel AG. Opel itself has this lingering image of cheapness which plays against it in Europe, whereas Vauxhall over the last 15 years has slowly come to a point of domination of the British Touring Car Championship.In 2003 Vauxhall added to this new image when it rebranded it's BTCC team VX Racing, and on top of that started to import Holden's Monaro under the new tie-in brand VXR.
Daewoo on the other hand is a tale of an underlying company being sound when the management was insanely corrupt. Daewoo Group ran into deep financial trouble in 1998 due to the Asian financial crisis and the defunct Korean government under President Kim Dae Jung.
The government could not keep their own deficits down to a respectable level, so had to push companies like Daewoo off the chart. This ended with the ultimate destruction and dismantling of the Daewoo Group without much opposition. Chairman, Kim Woo Jung was exiled in silent force overseas and was named as a fugitive after he did not return.Daewoo in an effort to stay alive more or less de-branded itself and when Holden bought out 51% of the company in 2003 Daewoos were rebranded as Chevrolets in Europe as it was felt that the name Daewoo would not shift product.
Holden Motor Group has either sat as number 1 or 2 in the Australian market for nearly 40 years. The Family-2 engine and its derivatives have long been exported and sold in Opels, Vauxhalls and Daewoos for quite some time. The Monaro which is exported to the UK and to the US as a Pontiac GTO has also built a handy little earner for the company.When Holden bought 51% of Daewoo in 2003 it had long term plans to replace all the cars below Commodore with Korean built examples.
Now that GM has faltered, Holden has taken a further step and it looks like that the Vectra, Astra and Corsa (Barina) will all be replaced with jointly developed cars.
So what is the problem for GM in the US? It has been said that their biggest problem is simply economies of scale. GM operates the Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, GMC, Hummer, Pontiac & Saturn brands in the US alone with little to no cooperation in the group. R&D and doubling-up has to occur in there no doubt.
Perhaps an elimination of the brands is in order, people buying a GM car outside of the US will usually only see one brand for sale but not in the US. I hope that the General does get out of its woes, for at one time it was the largest corporation in the United States ever, in terms of its revenues as a percent of GDP. In 1953 Charles Erwin Wilson, then GM president, was named by Eisenhower as Secretary of Defense.
In 1955 it was the first company in the world to make over US$1bn in a calendar year, so what's good for the General Boomers (boom) is good for the USA.
NB: I drive a Ford and wouldn't have it any other way.
But all is not well at the giant car maker. There is talk of 25,000 jobs to be cuts over the next 3 years and already one of the brands stateside has already suffered the chop, one can no longer buy an Oldsmobile.
Of all the brands in the GM group worldwide, there are only 4 that turned a profit in 2004; Isuzu, Vauxhall, Daewoo and Holden.
Isuzu Trucks picked up a major boost in 2002 when Sumitomo Bank started to write off bad debts in Korea. This then meant that in Japan Isuzu's biggest competitor, Mitsubishi was cash-strapped and when they suffered a league of poor reports of poor build quality then Isuzu came in and stole market share.
Vauxhall of the UK is closely tied to Adam Opel AG. Opel itself has this lingering image of cheapness which plays against it in Europe, whereas Vauxhall over the last 15 years has slowly come to a point of domination of the British Touring Car Championship.In 2003 Vauxhall added to this new image when it rebranded it's BTCC team VX Racing, and on top of that started to import Holden's Monaro under the new tie-in brand VXR.
Daewoo on the other hand is a tale of an underlying company being sound when the management was insanely corrupt. Daewoo Group ran into deep financial trouble in 1998 due to the Asian financial crisis and the defunct Korean government under President Kim Dae Jung.
The government could not keep their own deficits down to a respectable level, so had to push companies like Daewoo off the chart. This ended with the ultimate destruction and dismantling of the Daewoo Group without much opposition. Chairman, Kim Woo Jung was exiled in silent force overseas and was named as a fugitive after he did not return.Daewoo in an effort to stay alive more or less de-branded itself and when Holden bought out 51% of the company in 2003 Daewoos were rebranded as Chevrolets in Europe as it was felt that the name Daewoo would not shift product.
Holden Motor Group has either sat as number 1 or 2 in the Australian market for nearly 40 years. The Family-2 engine and its derivatives have long been exported and sold in Opels, Vauxhalls and Daewoos for quite some time. The Monaro which is exported to the UK and to the US as a Pontiac GTO has also built a handy little earner for the company.When Holden bought 51% of Daewoo in 2003 it had long term plans to replace all the cars below Commodore with Korean built examples.
Now that GM has faltered, Holden has taken a further step and it looks like that the Vectra, Astra and Corsa (Barina) will all be replaced with jointly developed cars.
So what is the problem for GM in the US? It has been said that their biggest problem is simply economies of scale. GM operates the Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, GMC, Hummer, Pontiac & Saturn brands in the US alone with little to no cooperation in the group. R&D and doubling-up has to occur in there no doubt.
Perhaps an elimination of the brands is in order, people buying a GM car outside of the US will usually only see one brand for sale but not in the US. I hope that the General does get out of its woes, for at one time it was the largest corporation in the United States ever, in terms of its revenues as a percent of GDP. In 1953 Charles Erwin Wilson, then GM president, was named by Eisenhower as Secretary of Defense.
In 1955 it was the first company in the world to make over US$1bn in a calendar year, so what's good for the General Boomers (boom) is good for the USA.
NB: I drive a Ford and wouldn't have it any other way.
June 15, 2005
Horse 357 - More Than You Can Poke A Stick At
Just how much is it exactly? Can it be defined? Why do we even care?
The first variable that needs to be looked at is what actually defines a stick. Now if a stick was very small, or twig size, the scope for doing any poking with it diminishes. Likewise an unwieldy stick doesn't facilitate actual poking and turns into a giant wave fest.
Clearly in order to do any poking, we're looking for maximum size that is still moderately controllable.
Also, the stick needs to be a single unit. If it has multiple ends then the act of poking closely resembles a sweep or a brush.
Therefore the ideal stick with maximum reach I estimate to be something in the order of three feet.
Now then, if the average person doing the poking is about 6ft tall, then logically the total reach capability is about 9ft from floor to top. Therefore the largest possible thing that you could poke a stick at would be that inscribed within a 9ft cube.
When you come to think of it, 729sq.ft of stuff is actually quite a fair amount of stuff to be poking a stick at. In real terms this means that you could poke a stick at small cars, elephants, bus stations, bookshelves etc. These things aren't totally unreasonable nor unfeasible to be poking a stick at so perhaps out 9ft cube is about right.
It's also incidentally about the same as enough room to swing a cat in case you were wondering.
The first variable that needs to be looked at is what actually defines a stick. Now if a stick was very small, or twig size, the scope for doing any poking with it diminishes. Likewise an unwieldy stick doesn't facilitate actual poking and turns into a giant wave fest.
Clearly in order to do any poking, we're looking for maximum size that is still moderately controllable.
Also, the stick needs to be a single unit. If it has multiple ends then the act of poking closely resembles a sweep or a brush.
Therefore the ideal stick with maximum reach I estimate to be something in the order of three feet.
Now then, if the average person doing the poking is about 6ft tall, then logically the total reach capability is about 9ft from floor to top. Therefore the largest possible thing that you could poke a stick at would be that inscribed within a 9ft cube.
When you come to think of it, 729sq.ft of stuff is actually quite a fair amount of stuff to be poking a stick at. In real terms this means that you could poke a stick at small cars, elephants, bus stations, bookshelves etc. These things aren't totally unreasonable nor unfeasible to be poking a stick at so perhaps out 9ft cube is about right.
It's also incidentally about the same as enough room to swing a cat in case you were wondering.
June 14, 2005
Horse 356 - The Flag of Hawaii
Yesterday was the Queen's Birthday holiday in NSW (maybe that's why she's so old - she has two birthdays a year) and something struck me as quite odd. Australia is still part of the Commonwealth and as such still retains the Union Flag in the canton but what of Hawaii?
Yes Hawaii. 50th US State and given status in 1949, that Hawaii. The Hawaii that had it's own king even. So then, how could a state of the US of A still retain the Union Flag even though at no point in its history was it ever a British colony or dependancy?
The answer lies in an accident as much as the discovery of the Australian east coast in 1770. James Cook's first voyage from 1768-1770 had been scientific in nature and he'd hoped to carry out experiments on the transit of Venus; they failed so sailing home he found this big sort of island thing (Australia) and then went home.
Cook's 2nd and 3rd voyages were more based around finding Terre Australis and possibly a trade route back to Britain. On his 3rd (and final) trip in 1778 he found a group of islands and named them after his boss Lord Sandwich. He then continued east until he found the west coast of America but alas, no way through. So he then headed back through the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) whilst complaining of a stomach ailment (probably from walrus meat) and was subsequently speared and killed by the Hawaiians over an altercation over some stolen rowboats.
I guess that there must have been a fair degree of guilt between the two parties, because when George Vancouver visited in 1814, he gave King Kamehameha I (not to be confused with Dragonball Z) a Union Flag as a token of the friendship between the two countries - yes I mean countries. Hawaii was a kingdom in its own right. At some stage the Union Flag was incorporated as a gesture of goodwill and peace between the two nations.
It's a strange one anyway, here is an entity which was never part of the British Commonwealth and yet still flies the Union Flag anyway. So while we in Australia fly corrupted Blue Ensigns as a symbol of subjugation, Hawaii does so though an historical oddity.
Yes Hawaii. 50th US State and given status in 1949, that Hawaii. The Hawaii that had it's own king even. So then, how could a state of the US of A still retain the Union Flag even though at no point in its history was it ever a British colony or dependancy?
The answer lies in an accident as much as the discovery of the Australian east coast in 1770. James Cook's first voyage from 1768-1770 had been scientific in nature and he'd hoped to carry out experiments on the transit of Venus; they failed so sailing home he found this big sort of island thing (Australia) and then went home.
Cook's 2nd and 3rd voyages were more based around finding Terre Australis and possibly a trade route back to Britain. On his 3rd (and final) trip in 1778 he found a group of islands and named them after his boss Lord Sandwich. He then continued east until he found the west coast of America but alas, no way through. So he then headed back through the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) whilst complaining of a stomach ailment (probably from walrus meat) and was subsequently speared and killed by the Hawaiians over an altercation over some stolen rowboats.
I guess that there must have been a fair degree of guilt between the two parties, because when George Vancouver visited in 1814, he gave King Kamehameha I (not to be confused with Dragonball Z) a Union Flag as a token of the friendship between the two countries - yes I mean countries. Hawaii was a kingdom in its own right. At some stage the Union Flag was incorporated as a gesture of goodwill and peace between the two nations.
It's a strange one anyway, here is an entity which was never part of the British Commonwealth and yet still flies the Union Flag anyway. So while we in Australia fly corrupted Blue Ensigns as a symbol of subjugation, Hawaii does so though an historical oddity.
June 13, 2005
Horse 355 - Wake Up With Sir Wogan
Waking up with Wogan (which is infinitely better in Australia considering we're 9 hours ahead) will never be the same again. Terry Wogan has been given a knighthood in the Queen's birthday honours list.
Former chat show host Wogan, boasts the highest audience of any UK radio DJ with his BBC Radio 2 breakfast show.
He would have been given the title "sir" had he been a British Citizen but as it stands because he's Irish he can't get it. What a shame we can't call him Sir Terry Wogan OBE.Terry is an advertisement for the human race - I just don't know what sort.
As a proud TOG (Terry's Old Gits) I hereby ring out this news from the highest rooftops in the empire... and pray for all our souls if even Terry is a knight.
June 12, 2005
Horse 354 - The Doctor
The Doctor has been back on Aunty for 5 weeks now. Chris Eccleston (no relation to F1 supremo) as The Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler have fitted the parts well. Eccleston is of course the 9th Doctor and matches the requirements for a Doctor very well - he is a nutter.
That was always one of the endearing charms about Dr Who. Despite every alien world looking like it was a quarry in Wales, the Beeb always managed to play up on the very fact that the budget for something as frivolous as Dr Who would have to in nature appear cheap and cheesy.
But now there's CGI penetrating the very core of the show. This in turn has meant that one of the strangest things in the universe no longer holds. Once upon a time if you wanted to outrun a Dalek all one needed was a set of stairs, but it seems as though Aunty has provided them with jets, so now they can come upstairs after you.
Another great irony of the show is the TARDIS itself. It was explained a long that the chameleon circuits which enabled it to cloak itself ceased to work and therefore it has remained a 1950's style Police Box ever since. Also that when The Doctor did repair them that he couldn't find his own TARDIS anymore so had it change back into a Police Box (he then re-damaged the circuits).
What we now find is that the copyright on Police Boxes is actually owned by the BBC and not the Metropolitan Police force who actually invented the things because it seen seen to be more readily associated with Dr Who than the Met.
Also freaky is that the current series is made by BBC Wales - so all those quarries now mean a trip across the street in a lot of cases.
That was always one of the endearing charms about Dr Who. Despite every alien world looking like it was a quarry in Wales, the Beeb always managed to play up on the very fact that the budget for something as frivolous as Dr Who would have to in nature appear cheap and cheesy.
But now there's CGI penetrating the very core of the show. This in turn has meant that one of the strangest things in the universe no longer holds. Once upon a time if you wanted to outrun a Dalek all one needed was a set of stairs, but it seems as though Aunty has provided them with jets, so now they can come upstairs after you.
Another great irony of the show is the TARDIS itself. It was explained a long that the chameleon circuits which enabled it to cloak itself ceased to work and therefore it has remained a 1950's style Police Box ever since. Also that when The Doctor did repair them that he couldn't find his own TARDIS anymore so had it change back into a Police Box (he then re-damaged the circuits).
What we now find is that the copyright on Police Boxes is actually owned by the BBC and not the Metropolitan Police force who actually invented the things because it seen seen to be more readily associated with Dr Who than the Met.
Also freaky is that the current series is made by BBC Wales - so all those quarries now mean a trip across the street in a lot of cases.
June 10, 2005
iFive - 10 Jun
iFive? Sorry. The number of tracks played on the iPod this week is nil. Why? I feel like I'm 15 years old again, I now have a new Oasis album in my hands - Don't Believe The Truth.
It sounds different to everything that Oasis have ever done before. Andy Bell, Gem and even Liam have written songs which means big brother Noel has to compete to get onto it.
#1 in the UK and in Japan. I expect it to do mid 30's in the US and probably about #4 in Australia which is a pity because X&Y by Coldplay isn't as musically interesting - aw well.
It sounds different to everything that Oasis have ever done before. Andy Bell, Gem and even Liam have written songs which means big brother Noel has to compete to get onto it.
#1 in the UK and in Japan. I expect it to do mid 30's in the US and probably about #4 in Australia which is a pity because X&Y by Coldplay isn't as musically interesting - aw well.
Horse 353 - International Tracksuit Pants Day
According to Merrick and Rosso of Nova Radio, today is International Tracksuit Pants Day. The day when you're supposed to wear them to work, to the shops or even commit arson of some great public building. Do you even remember trakkie dacks?
The ones you bought to play sport in? The same ones you now only put on to flop onto the couch, eat pizza and watch bad TV. The same ones that now stop you leaving the house. "No, mum, I can’t go and get the milk. I’m in my trackie dacks! What if someone sees me?"
Tracksuit pants are so comfortable that as soon as you put them on, you lose all interest in sport, running, walking, even bending down to pick up the TV remote. Tracksuit pants can be insidiously paralysing.
Unless you’re wanting to commit a crime, that is.
When you read crime reports, or see "Crimestoppers" it’s obvious. Tracksuit pants are the garment of choice for almost all criminals: Bank robbers, Drive-by shooters, Wife-beaters, Litterbugs, All are committed tracksuit pants wearers. Is it the comfort aspect, or the implication of speed or the lack of judgement that comes from spending far too long on your butt in a bean-bag that’s driving these rampant tracksuit pant wearers to lives of crime? Maybe we will never know.
What we do know, however, is that tracksuit pants first materialised in the 50’s. Now I’m not making any connections between tracksuit pants and communism or alien invasions or the freemasons here, but you’ve got to admit, a LOT of our very best conspiracy theories have their roots in the shadowy activities of the 50’s.
It’s best to stay wary of them just the same.
After all, it’s possible that the damage inflicted on our psyche through constant viewing of baggy, floppy, pizza-stained garments with elasticated ankles lead to even more disruption of our lives in the future.
We could see tracksuit pants wearers of the future stumbling into flop-houses where they’ll loll about, glazed-over with comfort and laziness, the elasticated waists of their tracksuit pants pushed down to allow their pot bellies more room to breathe.
We’ll have to rescue friends and family and educate them on the character building wearing in on your freshly washed skintight jeans. We’ll have to confiscate tracksuit pants and hide them when the afflicted are strung out on their beds waiting for their pants to dry on the line. Hell, we’ll probably all end up at Tracksuit Pants Anonymous meetings.
It could happen. Just wait and see.
The ones you bought to play sport in? The same ones you now only put on to flop onto the couch, eat pizza and watch bad TV. The same ones that now stop you leaving the house. "No, mum, I can’t go and get the milk. I’m in my trackie dacks! What if someone sees me?"
Tracksuit pants are so comfortable that as soon as you put them on, you lose all interest in sport, running, walking, even bending down to pick up the TV remote. Tracksuit pants can be insidiously paralysing.
Unless you’re wanting to commit a crime, that is.
When you read crime reports, or see "Crimestoppers" it’s obvious. Tracksuit pants are the garment of choice for almost all criminals: Bank robbers, Drive-by shooters, Wife-beaters, Litterbugs, All are committed tracksuit pants wearers. Is it the comfort aspect, or the implication of speed or the lack of judgement that comes from spending far too long on your butt in a bean-bag that’s driving these rampant tracksuit pant wearers to lives of crime? Maybe we will never know.
What we do know, however, is that tracksuit pants first materialised in the 50’s. Now I’m not making any connections between tracksuit pants and communism or alien invasions or the freemasons here, but you’ve got to admit, a LOT of our very best conspiracy theories have their roots in the shadowy activities of the 50’s.
It’s best to stay wary of them just the same.
After all, it’s possible that the damage inflicted on our psyche through constant viewing of baggy, floppy, pizza-stained garments with elasticated ankles lead to even more disruption of our lives in the future.
We could see tracksuit pants wearers of the future stumbling into flop-houses where they’ll loll about, glazed-over with comfort and laziness, the elasticated waists of their tracksuit pants pushed down to allow their pot bellies more room to breathe.
We’ll have to rescue friends and family and educate them on the character building wearing in on your freshly washed skintight jeans. We’ll have to confiscate tracksuit pants and hide them when the afflicted are strung out on their beds waiting for their pants to dry on the line. Hell, we’ll probably all end up at Tracksuit Pants Anonymous meetings.
It could happen. Just wait and see.
June 09, 2005
Horse 352 - Language in Gaol
The news in this country over the last few days has been replete with high-profile court cases; trials, hearings and whatnot (Shapelle Corby, Michael Jackson, phone-chucker Russell Crowe) but what I'm really peeved off with the the use of the word jail. This may be because I happen to live in the United States of Australia that has no life or will of its own, but increasingly the media here is becoming very lax and I wish to call an anathema on it. I even saw the word colorize in print yesterday. Colorize? It's not a real word surely. The nearest word would be colourise I should think. Also, the pronunciation of 'Z' is getting annoying. 'Zed' not 'Zee'! It makes me angry how Americans want to say 'zee' just so it rhymes, what's worse is that 30 years of Sesame St are beginning to have an effect on Aussie kids.
Now I'm the first to admit that language is an evolving animal that should adapt as needs bear and I'll even conceed that the standard repository for language in this wide brown land of telephone chuckers is the Macquarie and not the Oxford Dictionary but even the Macquarie doesn't include jail or color within its pages. -ise is the accepted variant and even words like elevator and automobile should be replaced with 24 carat honest words like lift and car.
Jail? Horrid word.
The whole purpose of having a dictionary is to standardise the language, or else we'd be stuck in the utter chaos of Chaucerian English. I may hold on to the old ways like a well chewed shoe, but my time has not yet passed. Especially when an institution like Old Melbourne Gaol was printed in the newspaper as Jail, even with a photograph of the sign in the background. Don't even get me started on traffic circles, I mean what are they supposed to be? Ah, someone meant to say a roundabout. I've said it once and i'll say it again. 'Center' is the final frontier. As soon as we go down that track I leave this country behind.
My big gripe with Windows/Office etc is that it always seems to default to US English. When I install Windows on my machine I always specify Aus regional and language settings so why can't Office pick this up and give me the Aus English dictionary by default? Why does MS Publisher not pick up the same dictionary settings as for MS Word? And why is it in MS Publisher that when I change the dictionary to Australian English that it continues changing my s's to z's? I may not be a fan of American-English but I accept that its usage is probably more widespread than Anglo-English. Just please don't force me to use it, I far prefer the style, character and quaintness of the traditional Anglo version.
And Jail vs Gaol? I admit I think that Gaol looks far more old-fashioned (and thus, perversely, trendy).
Now I'm the first to admit that language is an evolving animal that should adapt as needs bear and I'll even conceed that the standard repository for language in this wide brown land of telephone chuckers is the Macquarie and not the Oxford Dictionary but even the Macquarie doesn't include jail or color within its pages. -ise is the accepted variant and even words like elevator and automobile should be replaced with 24 carat honest words like lift and car.
Jail? Horrid word.
The whole purpose of having a dictionary is to standardise the language, or else we'd be stuck in the utter chaos of Chaucerian English. I may hold on to the old ways like a well chewed shoe, but my time has not yet passed. Especially when an institution like Old Melbourne Gaol was printed in the newspaper as Jail, even with a photograph of the sign in the background. Don't even get me started on traffic circles, I mean what are they supposed to be? Ah, someone meant to say a roundabout. I've said it once and i'll say it again. 'Center' is the final frontier. As soon as we go down that track I leave this country behind.
My big gripe with Windows/Office etc is that it always seems to default to US English. When I install Windows on my machine I always specify Aus regional and language settings so why can't Office pick this up and give me the Aus English dictionary by default? Why does MS Publisher not pick up the same dictionary settings as for MS Word? And why is it in MS Publisher that when I change the dictionary to Australian English that it continues changing my s's to z's? I may not be a fan of American-English but I accept that its usage is probably more widespread than Anglo-English. Just please don't force me to use it, I far prefer the style, character and quaintness of the traditional Anglo version.
And Jail vs Gaol? I admit I think that Gaol looks far more old-fashioned (and thus, perversely, trendy).
June 08, 2005
Horse 351 - I Believe I Can Fly
...well not me, and maybe not my Ka but my Ka can pull something that can. If you're thinking that this photo look downright daft, then you're 100% correct, give yourself a goldfish.
Yesterday afternoon after spending the morning thoroughly bored with calculating Elligible Termination Payments for a client's superannuation fund (believe me the rules are a nightmare), I was privvy to a phone call from someone who wanted to take their glider for a fly. Now being the sort of chap who likes merely watching planes, I thought this would be good for a few yuks but what was to follow was really something.
I arrived at Schofield's Aerodrome to find that my friend Big Ron had got his Falcon Ute bogged in the grassy airstrip. The problem it seemed wasn't so much as how to get the plane moving, but how do it without chopping up the grass before the glider ran over it. Solution?
My little Ka.
Only being a light car and having quite a lot of torque, I was able to accelerate both the Ka and the plane to a shade under 130km/h (80mph), now I can tell you first hand that doing 80 miles an hour over grass isn't the most fun thing in the world. Then having the rear of the car lifted into the air briefly as the slack is taken up by a plane some 100ft in the air is frightening.
Ka survived, plane was in the air. Photo looks daft and there are 3 million stories in the big city, this has been one of them.
June 07, 2005
Horse 350 - EU and EI Addio
I think I've just found possibly the very first noble act by a politician anywhere on the face of the planet within my lifetime, excuse me while I have a lie down now.
The UK's Foreign Secretary Jack Straw says there is "no point" in pursuing plans for a referendum on the EU constitution after France and the Netherlands voted "No". The plans for a referendum in Britain have been more or less put on hold until further notice.
Now apart from my obvious leanings towards "the sceptered isle" I shall now tell you why I think that this act of public sloth from the Foreign Secretary is perhaps one of the best things that could possibly happen in the immediate future (which by all accounts happens to show a touch of irony considering we usually hate it when pollies do diddly-squat).
Yesterday being the 6th of June marked the 61st anniversary of D-Day. During the 20th Century, Europe saw the vile shadow of not one but two World Wars. Now while it's fair to say that England was never sucessfully invaded in either sets of conflict, it still paid a hurrendous price with the loss of many of its sons and fathers - if that's just England and Her Maj's UK then what of the rest of Europe?
It's been estimated that directly and indirect loss of life during the two World Wars was something in the order of 250,000,000. It therefore makes perfect sense to unify the nations of Europe somehow to ensure that this terrible bloody mess never happens again. Intertwined with the promise of a united and peaceful Europe also lie the seeds for the destruction of that union. Europe as an entity is an economic unit that could take on the United States sure, but instead of 50 states which are all part of one country, there lie about that many countries and possibly double the number of ethnic groups speaking some 29 languages.
The Constitution of Europe requires at its essence an acquiescence on the part of the member countries to let European Law have priority over their own laws. Now while this works for the 6 states in Australia and the 50 in the US, in Europe there seems to be a lot of resentment if say a country like Poland was railroaded by the other member countries into imposing a law which it neither agreed to nor ratified.
There are of course other implications for Britain which are unique. One is the problem of the Scottish banks. Currently they issue their own currency against the debts of the bank, but under EU rules, this power would be removed and consequently I think it's fair to say that the buy-back of hard currency would probably bankrupt Scotland and thus drag down the UK with it.Also there is the problem of state monopolies like the BBC and the NHS, both of which are paid via subscription and not via taxes.
When Britain becomes president over the EU come July 1 it would want to show yet again a united front, and as such if Britons also voted "no" on the constitution, then they'd be accused of being the baddies who killed Europe. Europe will die eventually, it's just that no-one really wants the blame yet - doing nothing is the best policy and hence Jack Straw is the first noble politician I've seen in my lifetime.
The UK's Foreign Secretary Jack Straw says there is "no point" in pursuing plans for a referendum on the EU constitution after France and the Netherlands voted "No". The plans for a referendum in Britain have been more or less put on hold until further notice.
Now apart from my obvious leanings towards "the sceptered isle" I shall now tell you why I think that this act of public sloth from the Foreign Secretary is perhaps one of the best things that could possibly happen in the immediate future (which by all accounts happens to show a touch of irony considering we usually hate it when pollies do diddly-squat).
Yesterday being the 6th of June marked the 61st anniversary of D-Day. During the 20th Century, Europe saw the vile shadow of not one but two World Wars. Now while it's fair to say that England was never sucessfully invaded in either sets of conflict, it still paid a hurrendous price with the loss of many of its sons and fathers - if that's just England and Her Maj's UK then what of the rest of Europe?
It's been estimated that directly and indirect loss of life during the two World Wars was something in the order of 250,000,000. It therefore makes perfect sense to unify the nations of Europe somehow to ensure that this terrible bloody mess never happens again. Intertwined with the promise of a united and peaceful Europe also lie the seeds for the destruction of that union. Europe as an entity is an economic unit that could take on the United States sure, but instead of 50 states which are all part of one country, there lie about that many countries and possibly double the number of ethnic groups speaking some 29 languages.
The Constitution of Europe requires at its essence an acquiescence on the part of the member countries to let European Law have priority over their own laws. Now while this works for the 6 states in Australia and the 50 in the US, in Europe there seems to be a lot of resentment if say a country like Poland was railroaded by the other member countries into imposing a law which it neither agreed to nor ratified.
There are of course other implications for Britain which are unique. One is the problem of the Scottish banks. Currently they issue their own currency against the debts of the bank, but under EU rules, this power would be removed and consequently I think it's fair to say that the buy-back of hard currency would probably bankrupt Scotland and thus drag down the UK with it.Also there is the problem of state monopolies like the BBC and the NHS, both of which are paid via subscription and not via taxes.
When Britain becomes president over the EU come July 1 it would want to show yet again a united front, and as such if Britons also voted "no" on the constitution, then they'd be accused of being the baddies who killed Europe. Europe will die eventually, it's just that no-one really wants the blame yet - doing nothing is the best policy and hence Jack Straw is the first noble politician I've seen in my lifetime.
June 06, 2005
Horse 349 - I Hate Flowers
The BP in Cammeray as the last standpost of the green shield has finally succumbed to corporate whims and has relented and replaced its signage with that flower.
From 1915 BP had as its logo a shield in black and white super-imposed over the Union Flag. There could not be a more formal statement of British Petroleum than this.
In 1932 it changed to reflect Britain's rise as what would eventually become Formula One's only superpower and the black and white became British Racing Green and yellow.
The shield always gave me the impression that BP was a reliable company. Italicising the lettering and changing the shape of the shield slightly in the late 80's retained the strength but gave something of a forward-looking image and, combined with the very rapid recolouring of stations, signage and pumps to a warm, friendly shade of green, made the stations attractive without descending into faux-friendly all lowercase childishness as we have now (Wild Bean café? Why?)
Pre-90s the stations were mostly white with green & yellow (and some red) highlighting - closer, in fact, to the present colour scheme. Indeed, the sans-serif lowercase font used on the pumps and canopies in the 80s was particularly nice, and I'm thinking if I have a photo of them somewhere...
Now even the last bastian of the shield has fallen to that flower and I find myself lamenting a world of what once was. The new flower is supposed to represent la-dee-da enviro-hug-a-rainbow values but ends up just looking like someone in a suit in a board room must have been smoking one of the refractory products of the crude which the company sells.
Also, it would appear that there was a name change that snuck under the radar, for they are no longer British Petroleum but now Beyond Petroleum. What are you too good for petroleum, now that you're beyond it? Petrol is sooooo last century, I'm off to play the grand piano. La-dee-flower-da! It reminds me of hippies trying to save the world by using less off "mother nature's" precious resources and then driving a clapped out 1967 Kombi.
I still hate the flower.
From 1915 BP had as its logo a shield in black and white super-imposed over the Union Flag. There could not be a more formal statement of British Petroleum than this.
In 1932 it changed to reflect Britain's rise as what would eventually become Formula One's only superpower and the black and white became British Racing Green and yellow.
The shield always gave me the impression that BP was a reliable company. Italicising the lettering and changing the shape of the shield slightly in the late 80's retained the strength but gave something of a forward-looking image and, combined with the very rapid recolouring of stations, signage and pumps to a warm, friendly shade of green, made the stations attractive without descending into faux-friendly all lowercase childishness as we have now (Wild Bean café? Why?)
Pre-90s the stations were mostly white with green & yellow (and some red) highlighting - closer, in fact, to the present colour scheme. Indeed, the sans-serif lowercase font used on the pumps and canopies in the 80s was particularly nice, and I'm thinking if I have a photo of them somewhere...
Now even the last bastian of the shield has fallen to that flower and I find myself lamenting a world of what once was. The new flower is supposed to represent la-dee-da enviro-hug-a-rainbow values but ends up just looking like someone in a suit in a board room must have been smoking one of the refractory products of the crude which the company sells.
Also, it would appear that there was a name change that snuck under the radar, for they are no longer British Petroleum but now Beyond Petroleum. What are you too good for petroleum, now that you're beyond it? Petrol is sooooo last century, I'm off to play the grand piano. La-dee-flower-da! It reminds me of hippies trying to save the world by using less off "mother nature's" precious resources and then driving a clapped out 1967 Kombi.
I still hate the flower.
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