Horse 301 - Do What Now?

On the subject of album covers, the question was put to me on MSN of which I think is the best album cover of all time. Strangely I think that there's two that qualify, one of them (Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band) has sleeve notes but curiously Be Here Now by Oasis has nothing of the sort. These are my attempts from what I can gather.

1. The Building is Stocks Hotel and Country Club, at Aldbury, near Tring, Hertfordshire, a favourite haunt of late Who drummer Keith Moon.

2. The Rolls Royce submerged in the pool is an allusion to Keith Moon when, in celebrating his birthday, piled a Lincoln Convertible into a hotel swimming pool.

3. The Rolls Royce is a copy of that driven by John Lennon in the late 60's.

4. The number plate of the Rolls Royce (SYD 724F) parallels that of the police car on the right hand side of the cover of The Beatles Abbey Road LP.

5. The parking meter in the pool with the Rolls Royce alludes to the Beatles track Lovely Rita, about Rita the meter maid.

6. The white TV, showing the album cover, resembles that seen in The Who film Tommy

7. In the Beatles film Magical Mystery Tour, there is a scene in which Ringo looks through a telescope, as Noel does in the background.

8. The Clock leaning against drummer Alan White's right leg alludes to the station clock found in the Beatles film A Hard Day's Night

9. The Clock itself is also the label on the disc itself. There are no hands of the disc, and the Oasis logo covers the number 9 which incedentally is the position of the title track on the album.

10. Be Here Now does not feature in the lyrics to the song. In fact only What's the Story (Morning Glory)? is the only album title to appear in the lyrics of a song.

11. The Gramophone, resembles a tribute to the record label HMV, perhaps a nose up to Sony?, and whose logo features a dog (Kipper) sitting next to a gramophone.

12. The Vespa scooter behind which Liam stands is typical of 80's `mod' iconography. (The number plate - 514 FMK - who knows?!)

13. In original pictures of the cover, the calender was set to the date September 3, paralleling the day John Lennon and Yoko Ono left British shores in 1971.

14. However August 21, the release date of Be Here Now, was the day in 1988 when British legislation was passed allowing British Pubs to be open 12 hours a day, except on Sundays.

15. Also however there was a delay in shipping of the album. So the album cover was changed in accordance of the release dates in the country. 24 is France, 26 is New Zealand (both picured).

16. The Egg-Shaped Globe was rotated such that Bonehead was looking at the country that it was being released in.

17. The picture on the television is the album cover. Perhaps yet another allusion to The Who but referring to the effect used in the BBC series Dr Who.

The Abacus, Egg Timer, "Examination in Progress" sign, Cigarette butt in the foreground, Bonehead holding a gold key in guitar pose...who knows? I have no idea.
Perhaps Liam's explanation is perhaps the most apt: It's actually a bunch of rubbish we put on an album cover.

Horse 300 - Copy Cat, Dirty Rat

Fish Records, Dirt Cheap CDs and about a dozen other record stores have been implicated in the sale of counterfeit CDs this mornings papers tell us. Yet ARIA would prefer to go after the bigger "pirates" who are shifting MP3s on file sharing networks than these people themselves. Given ARIA's position to go and prosecute people, it's almost somewhat of an irony that they're not pursuing active pirates. It's like the Copyright Act is only there if and when people choose to a) obey it and b) enforce it.

Now I don't know about you but something seems distinctly malaise here. ARIA was set up by the record companies to protect the rights of artists and copyright holders to gain royalties from the sale of their music. Or perhaps this really is a case of mistaken identity. ARIA has already accused file sharing networks of stealing away sales and yet actually actively ignores the fact that singles are now only sold on 8 week cycles. The manufacturer will only press the number of CDs it wants to push, market that as agressively as it can and then stand back if it bombs.

What I also find somewhat worrying is ARIA's resistance to admit that record stores on the whole are actually shifting more stock as a result of the sale of DVDs than the corresponding fall in CD sales. In fact the only real barometer of sales may be the album charts themselves. The back catalouge will usually account for about 40% of all record store sales. Because these are a bigger range, they will never appear in the Top 40's lists and therefore not affect stats.

My last question is to do with the value of a gold record itself. Casey Donovan, the winner of Australian Idol, went gold before the record had even gone to stores. Because the album itself was received so poorly, I honestly doubt whether it actually acheived gold through the stores.
In the case of Mistaken Identity by Delta Goodrem, if they've shifted sufficient units does that mean that it earnt a Fool's Gold Record or are ARIA just really a bunch of fools?

Horse 299 - Holy Church of Dollar

An evangelical Christian church with links to the Liberal Party has received almost $800,000 in grants from government departments in the past five years.
The Sydney-based Hillsong Church has received $473,588 from the Department of Family and Community Services since 1999, according to government answers to Labor questions on notice.
The Department of Workplace Relations also gave one of the pentecostal church's organisations more than $300,000 last financial year alone. - SMH 18/02/05


Fairfax Newspapers

This is the final straw that broke the camel's back. It took me a very very long time to arrive at this opinion but I am now fairly well convinced that Hillsong's primary aim is to sell CD's to an overly trusting Christian market. It seems either suspicious that the sitting member of parliament for Greenway, Louise Markus, happens to be both a member of the Liberal party and a long standing member of Hillsong and with these questions put before the Federal Goverment, I too wish to know the answers.

What made me somewhat prick my ears up was something hidden on page 26 of the Sun-Herald on Feb 6 this year:

Hillsong superstar splashes out $2m for recording studio
Darlene Zschech Australia's biggest-selling Christian singer has bought one of the country's best-known studios, which has been used to record albums by artists such as Silverchair, Delta Goodrem, Missy Higgins and Grinspoon. The studio on the NSW Central Coast was purchased by the Hillsong artist for $2.2m.

Sun Herald 06/02/2005 No link to the website as Fairfax want me to subscribe. This is from the newspaper itself.

Now I have no problem persay with Christians being rich and nor do I have a problem with ministers and pastors being paid for their profession (in fact we are supposed to support our ministers finacially, it's prudent and commendable) but something screams "not quite right" when someone like Darlene Zschech just happens to have $2m to throw around like this.
I then happen to go trouncing through Hillsong's own website to find this lovely gem...

In February, we will capture the high praises and worship of our God and cut it into a new album, and our love affair with God will travel to the far reaches of the earth… and in March, we get to host "our nation and beyond" with the Colour Conference. The Spirit of God will draw women from far and wide, so be praying as we get to host and carry this moment.
We love you! Be blessed! Be amazing for Jesus! And let's prove to anyone watching that God is definitely alive, well and working His magnificent plan on the earth! - Their own website.

From The Hillsong Website

and cut it into a new album? What's wrong here? CD Sales? I ask you. A look into the ARIA charts reveals this...

The Hillsong Church album 'For All You've Done' marks the first time in Australian chart history that a Christian recording artist has held the No. 1 position in this country.

Australian Record Industry Association

Now who is buying these CDs? Well it certainly isn't the general public. Historically Christian music is taken to be a bit of a joke, and in a world that is so anti God and religion, the only people who logically would have bought the disc are Christians themselves or those on the fringes of the realm.

Even Brian Houston as pastor of Hillsong published a book in 1990 called "You Need More Money: Discovering God's amazing financial plan for your life." It smacks more of profiteering from Christians than applied teaching.

Paul was shipwrecked twice, beaten several times and thrown in prison many times. Somehow I think I should follow the example of Paul rather than Hillsong. I admit when it comes to actual pain and hardship, I pale in comparison but I found this in Phillipians 1 which is just staggering...

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. - Phillipians 1:15-18

I still don't think that the gospel should be used to turn a buck though.

Horse 298 - Late Edition, Transmetropolitan

Spider Jerusalem our hero is a indy journalist who writes for an underground newspaper against the fetted stench of a plastic whitewashed society. Dilution and supression of the important things like corruption and theft were the sorts of things that got me hooked on Transmetropolitan. It tells the story of Spider Jerusalem who after retreating to the mountains to escape human kind, finds that his money has been frittered away. A threatening phone call from his publisher brings him back into the City to resume work as an investigative reporter. When he arrives he falls smack dab into the middle of a civil rights riot staged by a womanizing former rock band manager who is an old acquaintance.

The goal of these first few issues was to introduce Jerusalem as a postmodern anti-hero that we can all relate to, and Ellis achieves that admirably. We are given a drunken antisocial and ultimately antagonistic view of what our culture and society inflict on it's members who believe in things like truth and decency. Ellis' thesis is basically that it turns them into depraved drug addicted curmudgeons, who are incapable of interacting with the rest of society. As a depraved curmudgeon living under such circumstances myself to a degree (with the power of Murdoch, Fairfax and Packer), I can confidently say that this analysis is spot-on. And more power to him. The underbelly needs its advocates.

After the carnage of the first three issues, Ellis laid back a bit and did some exploring of the world he'd unleashed the angry little man on. He explores various real issues in the context of a fictitious world. For instance: in Jerusalem Ellis asks the question of what value the is in history when compared to the lives of modern people, through Jerusalem's explorations of the Reservations, a place for the preservation of the exact historical context of various cultures. Ellis postulates the idea of modern people with artificial memories placing them in "Cultural reservations" whose goal is to preserve ways of life no longer practiced. Like the Sun worshipping Aztec culture and the Zen lifestyle of Japan prior to western contact and influence. Throughout Jerusalem's explorations of the Reservations and various other fictional subcultures, you begin to get an understanding for who Spider Jerusalem is, what he believes and what his faults are and there are loads of them.

From the outset he was not created to be a likeable character but I like him because I see pieces of myself in his crushed idealism. I think it's something that most intelligent people can relate to. Spider's personality is unfolded masterfully for the reader as a dejected revolutionary who wanted very much to believe that everything will be all right if he only can steadfastly pursue the truth, only to be shown vividly in graphic detail how little the truth matters in the modern world.

Which brings me to another point. Transmetropolitan is supposedly a Science Fiction Comic, it was originally on DC's Helix label before being moved to Vertigo. Yet it avoids the great pitfall of most science fiction, which is that it forgets to be of the moment it was created in favor of the authors barely plausible gadgetry and setting. I think it was Aristotle that said that setting was the least important aspect of a serious work, or some ignomonious bollocks like that. Ellis follows this logic, his fantasy world serving only to support the purpose of the work, and is not a purpose in and of itself.

In other words, don't go expecting a nicey-nicey sci-fi comic book, it doesn't look cute, the issues and themes certainly aren't simple and the colours and mood is dark bordering on the psychotic. Transmet won its Eisner Award for good reason and if taken to its logical conclusion, Spider Jerusalem would have used that as an ashtray.

Horse 297 - Holden Monaro... Game Over?

Listening to ABC Radio (Australian Broadcasting Corporation - Australia's "Aunty") they interviewed a chap from Holden who was of the opinion that the next GTO/Monaro would be built in the USA as there was resistance by Americans against having "their GTO" come from overseas.

This would effectively spell the end of the Australian built Monaro because the factory in Australia producing these mainly does so for export and there simply isn't the demand here to warrant the factory existing to supply Australia and Britain only.

If the car is produced in the USA, higher wages and then import costs would actually render the vehicle too expensive to import back into Australia and thus there would be no need to develop an RHD variant. This means that Holden gets screwed out of the car that it developed in the first place and Vauxhall would no longer would have the big coupe for their VXR range.

I've said this before, The Monaro shouldn't have been rebadged the GTO in America. All I've heard is complaints about the styling from the americans. It is a great car but it was never built to be a GTO. It was built in Australia, for Australians. Then Bob Lutz came over and said yep I like that, I'll take that and that (the Monaro and the SS ute). Then he expects to sell a refined European styled car as the GTO. Get real. Remember, who is Holden a subsidiary of? That's right, GM. Not surprising, really, as these mental midgets couldn't come up with an original concept for the GTO. So they co-opt the Holden Monaro and decided to "americanize" it.

All of this looks set to be decided within the year with the LS2 Monaro being the last. Thank you Mr Howard, this is what signing a free trade agreement does. It is an Aussie built and designed car and if the U.S wants it they should jolly keep shipping it over from here.

Enjoy the Monaro while you can... game over.

Horse 296.1 - Disdain Defeated?

1. My Ka came home today.
2. My uni career at Deakin Uni begins today

Horse 296 - Absolute Loony Love

To put this in perspective I am not a fan of this "holiday" but only by association; usually I'd slate the holiday as being little more than an attempt by commercial powers to extract tribute from amorous individuals. In fact the day had been declared a saint's day in 496AD by Pope Gelasius. Although there had been cards passed as such, the day wasn't truly exploited until 1916 when the British Infantry Forces decreed free postage for all troops in active service for the occasion. Now admittedly the cards and presents sent from the front lines in a lot of cases would have been quite depressing, as there was the ever real threat that a poor lady's beau might have been blown off the face of the planet, leaving her behind.I suppose I see the value in this day for those purposes, professing one's love for one's special significant other is indeed a noble and lovely thought.

The thing that truly impressed me today was this inscription on the epitaph in Mosman.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13

Now perhaps you might call it co-incidence that I should pass by this today of all days but I happen to think it suggests something far more robust than just a $3 greeting card, a box of melty chocolates or some wiltatious flowers. I suggest that you think about this:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still His enemies, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

You won't find a more stark picture than a bloodied man who spent hours in pain nailed as a criminal to the most horrid torture device devised to that point as a symbol of love. The colour red may be everywhere on February 14 but it may as well pale in comparison to the most expensive gift ever given. I ask you, what sort of a person would openly go through this just to demonstrate their love?

Horse 295 - Future Charles III

There will soon be only five kings left - the kings of England, Diamonds, Hearts, Spades and Clubs.

The world probably heard about this simultaneously at once, that Prince Charles is set to marry Camilla Parker-Bowles. While the news is probably worthy to make the front pages, it isn't as much of a scandal as the press are trying to make out. Admittedly the two of them are divorcees and both went on public record as openly committing outright adultery during the time that they were married but probably quite rightly the reaction among most Britons is that of one giant yawn - 40% of the population when polled didn't care.

I will however in this post try to explain in some regard what this means in relation to Australia... precisely squat. Charles when he does eventually become king will be Charles III. Camilla by virtue of being his wife isn't actually that high up the order in line for the throne with both William and Harry as well as Edward, Andrew, Anne and their children ahead of her. William would be William V and Harry if for some reason that William doesn't become king would be actually be Henry IX. Believe it not, his full name is Henry Charles Albert David Windsor. On the back of the coins Charles III would be facing to the left and William V would be facing to the right in following the tradition going back to the Tudors.

Consitutionally there will be precisely no changes. As it stands currently HM Elizabeth actually has no power in parliament at all. Since the Australia Act of 1984 all appeals to the Privy Council and even her ability to give Royal Assent to bills actually doesn't exist. The Govenor-General as her representative by almost legal fluke is by de facto the head of state.

What do I think of the whole deal? As a known Anglophile and nominal monarchist (by virtue of the fact that I can't honestly see what benefits would be accrued by changing the current system), I like the Great British public think the whole think is worthy of one giant yawn.

Perhaps this still rings true? "The only reason that the sun never sets on the British Empire is that God doesn't trust the English in the dark"

Horse 294 - Col. Sanders

Colonel Harland Sanders, born on September 9, 1890, actively began franchising his chicken business at the age of 65. Now, the KFC business he started has grown to be one of the largest fast food chains in the world. And Colonel Sanders himself is known the world over. More than a billion of the Colonel's "finger lickin' good" chicken dinners (right Presbyterian like) are served annually. The Colonel's cooking is available in more than 80 countries and territories around the world.

When the Colonel was six, his father died. His mother was forced to go to work, and young Harland had to take care of his three-year-old brother and baby sister. This meant doing much of the family cooking. By the age of seven, he was a master of several regional dishes of the deep south.

At age 10, he got his first job working on a nearby farm for $2 a month. When he was 12, his mother remarried and he left his home near Henryville, Ind., for a job on a farm in Greenwood, Ind. He held a series of jobs over the next few years, first as a 15-year-old streetcar conductor in Indiana and then lying to get into the army, he spent 6 months in Cuba as a soldier at only age 16.

After that he was a railroad fireman, studied law by correspondence, practiced in local courts, sold insurance, operated an Ohio River steamboat ferry, sold tyres, and operated service stations. When he was 40, the Colonel began cooking for hungry travelers who stopped at his service station in Corbin, a hicktown in Kentucky. He didn't have a restaurant then, but served folks on his own dining table in the living quarters of his service station.

As more people started coming just for food, he moved across the street to a motel and restaurant that seated 142 people. Over the next nine years, he perfected his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices and the basic cooking technique that is still used today. Sander's fame grew. Governor Ruby Laffoon made him a Kentucky Colonel in 1935 in recognition of his contributions to the state's cuisine. And in 1939, his establishment was first listed in Duncan Hines' "Adventures in Good Eating."

In the early 1950s a new interstate highway was planned to bypass the town of Corbin. Seeing an end to his business, the Colonel auctioned off his operations. After paying his bills, he was reduced to living on his $105 Social Security cheques.

Confident of the quality of his fried chicken, the Colonel devoted himself to the chicken franchising business that he started in 1952. He traveled across the country by car from restaurant to restaurant, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, he entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to him of a nickel (5c) for each chicken the restaurant sold. By 1964, Colonel Sanders had more than 600 franchised outlets for his chicken in the United States and Canada. That year, he sold his interest in the U.S. company for $2 million to a group of investors including John Y. Brown Jr., who later was governor of Kentucky from 1980 to 1984. The Colonel remained a public spokesman for the company. In 1976, an independent survey ranked the Colonel as the world's second most recognizable celebrity.

Until he was fatally stricken with leukemia in 1980 at the age of 90, the Colonel traveled 250,000 miles a year visiting the KFC restaurants around the world. And it all began with a 65-year-old gentleman who used his $105 Social Security cheque to start a business, which all goes to show you that even an old guy can become famous.

Horse 293 - 30 Years of Walkmans

Just a little over 30 years ago in 1975, the Sony Walkman started to appear on the Tokyo Subway. Hailed as the new gadget of the 20th century it was bound to change the way people commuted. It meant that for the first time that someone could be surrounded in their own little music bubble and not have to listen to the hub-drub of sweaty often noisy metro carriages.

The first major advance it had was that for the first time people could listen to cassettes (do you remember those?) as well as the radio. People could literally take their own music whereever they went. Of course ettiquette soon suggested that if you had your Walkman up so loud that others could hear it, then in polite Japanese society you were instantly looked down upon and given a very very hard stare.

Ray Bradbury predicted this all the way back in 1951 in Fahrenheit 451, when he suggested that "the bees in people's ears, swept away the silence no leaving any time to think or question". I suppose that that is correct and especially when you look at the types who have their "music" (read chish-chish-chish for that's all you ever seem to hear outside), up so loud that even in not-so-polite society they're still derided as idiots.

Technology moved on from cassettes through CD's and the ill-fated MD experiment. In Neon Genesis Evangelion, Shinji Ikari wears a Sony Walkman that plays S-DAT tapes and what's really intruging about that is here we have a technology that was superceeded before it began and it appears even more archaic in 2015. The most recent technological advance is MP3 and the inevitable rise of iPod and Shuffle devices: instantly desirable they were the "must have" items of Christmas 2004.

I find it odd though that the utility of those original chunky cassette Walkmans is still difficult to find. It's almost impossible to find a CD Walkman with an AM/FM radio and when DAB strikes I fear that it too will be difficult to find. I expect that the most common application in 4 years time when DAB is finally the only last free radio medium (once both AM & FM are terminated - 01-01-08) that MP3/DAB will finally be commonplace.

I still however would have liked to have seen what would have happened if the electrics had been around say in 1955 whether we would have had anti-skip LP Walkmans... 12" of anti-skip technology? That would have been hillarious to watch people carry those about.

Horse 292 - Per ad Ardua Astra

Well my Prawny bard, the days of quirky French motoring have come to an end; to be replaced by a car named after the Latin word for star - Astra.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear up front the Astra is not, I repeat not, a funky car. Is most definitely however, in the words of Luke Hines (VX Racing 2004) a car that came to "kick ass and blow bubble gum, but I'm all out of bubblegum". The only option left then was to kick ass and I can assure you the car did quite a lot of that. Everything the car touched in its own right it blew to the kerb. Not a funky car but literally a champion of its domain.

While funkyness may not be a virtue, the car without a doubt screams General Motors. The design cues came from the 78 Rekord which became VB Commodore here in Oz, the boot line with its characteristic lights was passed down from the 1986 WRC surprise package... the Opel Kadett/Vauxhall Astra and then stolen by everyone else (most notably the last model of the Mazda 323 which uses literally the same Bosch rear light cluster). The actual design itself comes from the studio of Bertone. Famous for other such cars like the Lamborghini Muira and Lancia Stratos, both of which like the Astra won the European Car of the Year Award.

The engine has its roots all the way back in JB Camira, good old Family 2. In fact most of the production units (1.8L, 2.0L) were actually produced in Elizabeth, South Australia. If there's one thing to be said about the Australian motor industry it's that it doesn't produce crap. Automotive produce from this wide brown land can be made to be driven into the ground virtually forever and usually only the cancer of rust will finally kill the cars.

As for where it is built? I have no idea. The car could have come from Belguim or the UK or Italy, the only way of knowing is to actually look at the VIN. Admittedly GM had a reputation for building cheap motor cars, and in savvy Europe the way they sought to beat this image was to go motor racing and did they ever.

This is the short list of titles that the plucky Astra won:

1998 British Rally Championship - Manufacturers
1999 British Rally Championship - Manufacturers
2000 British Rally Championship - Manufacturers

1998 Irish Rally Championship - Manufacturers
2000 Irish Rally Championship - Manufacturers

1998 European Rally Championship - Manufacturers
1999 European Rally Championship - Manufacturers
2000 European Rally Championship - Manufacturers

2001 BTCC Champion - Jason Plato
2002 BTCC Champion - James Thompson
2003 BTCC Champion - Yvan Muller
2004 BTCC Champion - James Thompson

2001 BTCC Teams Championship
2002 BTCC Teams Championship
2003 BTCC Teams Championship
2004 BTCC Teams Championship

2002 BTCC - Manufacturers
2003 BTCC - Manufacturers
2004 BTCC - Manufacturers

That's quite a record for anyone to argue against. Admittedly that doesn't include the nearly two dozen race wins it clocked up in the DTM in V8 guise, nor the 18 victories in the South African Thundersports series. The car stole more than just the odd point away from the full-time WRC competitors as a 2WD kit car.

The car itself feels dead in the steering (which is normal for most cars these days - why is that?) and it's a lottery to see if you get one with the dicky reverse gear locky thing that you have to pull up before you can pull the stick across (NB: I got stuck at a services in an Astra on the A3 near Guildford just outside the M25 and couldn't work this thing out for nearly 25 minutes) but ultimately it tracks true and will tend to sit up on the motorway except if the air-con is on.

Ergonomically it's all you'd expect from an Opel, it's literally perfect. Just like the VB-VL Commodore, GM Germany thought long and hard before putting anything in the console. German efficiency comes to hand at every point and apart from trim, the general layout never varied. Grey plastic abounds, which does tend to make you forget which colour of car you're in. In closing, the car aint a funky machine, it's a Eurobox but one that was so perfectly put together that quite frankly the record speaks for itself. There's nothing that can be argued against there and if the new "me too" Astra (that tries so desperately to look like a Peugeot 307) wants to displace the old Annie Astra, then it'll have to more than just "kick ass and blow bubble gum" to upstage its departing sibling.

Horse 291 - P-Plate Drivers & Same Old Same Old

Haven't we been here before? Only this time it's worse...

From that bastian of news reporting - News Ltd - Street racer ploughs into crowd

"AN angry mob of drag racers turned on police after an illegal street racer careered into a crowd of spectators in Sydney last night. Up to 30 people lay injured on the road and footpath as punches were thrown and officers shoved. Dozens of police raced to the scene in South Strathfield to help bring the 50-strong crowd under control."

Watch The Daily Telegraph have a field day with this. After successfully conning the NSW State Government into passing laws to keep "inexperienced P-Plate Drivers" out of high performance cars, we have 30 people in hospital after riots and fighting - and who was there on the scene before the police even arrived? None other than Channel 9 and ta-dah, The Daily Telegraph.
The cars in question here are a Datsun 1600 and a Renault Clio, 1595cc and 1394cc respectively. Far far short of the scaremongery employed a few months ago. I'm sorry but neither of these consitute high-performance vehicles no matter which way you look at it; both of these with less power than your standard hack Corolla.

I guarantee that over the next few days, that there will be a recommencement of media attention; the State Goverment will applaud itself over the new laws that it has passed and the The Daily Telegraph will applaud itself based on high-quality investigative journalism... cough cough.

In reality the NSW Government underfunds the Police as badly as the hospitals, schools, railways, roads (why do we pay taxes again?) and The Telegraph makes a living from scandalising everyone without regard for facts for the sole purpose of selling newspapers.

Laws are in place for the good order and well-being of society. It is good if one uses it properly. We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels* It only works under two circumstances, either it is obeyed or enforced. If it's not being obeyed then enforcement is the only option, either by real police or by speed cameras on every traffic light (I don't care). Clearly it has failed and I don't see either the NSW Government or The Daily Telegraph applauding themselves for that now do we?

*sounds like a quote from somewhere don't it? Amazing how much wisdom is packed in there.

Horse 290 - Bills

Everywhere I go I see signs saying 'Post no bills', yet every day in the post I receive bills from the the water board, electricity board and telephone company. It's just another example of one rule for national utilities and another for the rest of us.

'Just three dollars a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says World Vision. So how come Sydney Water charges $150 a month for one only house? Someone is on the take.

Horse 289 - Menace on Four Wheels?

Cue a montage of overlapping news sound-bites: "...nearby residents presented a petition of over 500 signatures demanding traffic calming measures...", "...demonstrators blocked the road in front of the school for a total of eight hours...", "...since its installation last year the camera has caught 40,000 speeding motorists...".

Where did it all go wrong? There was a time – not that long ago, even – when motoring was not just a means of getting from A to B, but was also something to be enjoyed; something we were allowed to enjoy. Great stretches of road were built for our convenience and pleasure; our mobility was positively encouraged. But somewhere we took a wrong turn and lost our way. Instead of being applauded as a means to visit and explore, the car has become derided as a destroyer of communities. Instead of being seen as a wondrous tool for efficient door-to-door transportation, it has become an artery clogger that we should abandon because it is too slow, yet simultaneously a ruthless ground-coverer that should be reined in because it is too fast.

We are waist-deep in an anti-car age and struggling to find a branch to haul ourselves out by. But how did we get here? How is it that a nation so clearly in love with its cars – almost regardless of cost – can also hate them so much? 85 per cent of eligible males and 60 per cent of eligible females hold licences, and teenagers are still tripping over themselves to get mobile by motor at the earliest possible opportunity, so who exactly are we fighting? What is this massive force that makes us feel such guilt for daring to enjoy our cars, that makes us almost ashamed to declare a passion for them in polite company?

Sure, there's a handful of small, extremist groups, occupying their time dreaming of a car-free utopia where children can play in the street and where you can leave your front door unlocked at night. They inflict their vision upon the rest of us a couple of times a year by blocking a main thoroughfare or two (always when the weather is nice, you will note), but they are a minority, nothing to worry about, a small fraction of the population who never got the chance to learn to drive, or whose circumstances mean that they can't afford the cost of car ownership (or soap). Their numbers will never stretch beyond that. After all, have you ever heard of anyone who's had a taste of motoring turning their back on it?

Then we've got a government that chooses to lash out at the car. Not through any conviction that it is doing The Right Thing, but because it knows that it can exploit our weakness if it can make is feel bad about our habit. Motorists contribute $137 billion to the economy each year, but in return only $30 billion is spent on transport. Yet guilt buys our silence and our acceptance, and disproportionate reporting that favours sensationalism over education keeps the fear topped up. But the real threat to our motoring pleasure starts much closer to home.

Unlike those small but passionate anti-car groups, ignorance and laziness mean that when we are under attack, we motorists fail to organise ourselves and fight back to redress the balance. And why is it that councils think we want lower limits, more cameras, restricted access, speed bumps and "local traffic zones"? It's because we're asking for them! Sure, we want freedom and rapid progress on our journeys, but in our own street we want everyone to slow down. Well, everyone else, that is, as humorously situated speed traps in response to residents' complaints often prove.

OK, so you and I, motoring enthusiasts, probably aren't that small-minded, but Mr and Mrs Ordinary Average Car User are. Unthinking drivers taking their mobility for granted. And despite never giving a second thought to improving their own driving skills and behaviour, they know for certain that every other driver out there is under-skilled, inattentive and dangerous, and they want protecting from those reckless individuals passing their doorstep. Trouble is, everywhere is someone's doorstep. So the petitions start, the street furniture moves in, and we all have to tackle the obstacle course. And once one neighbourhood gets it, the next neighbourhood wants it: they need protecting too.

It's this frightening lack of thought from so many, mixed with superb propaganda from relatively few, that has led us to this position where cars are perceived as the root of much evil, and to invest more than is strictly necessary for basic five-seats-and-reasonable-economy transportation makes you best mates with Lucifer himself.

It's a sad state of affairs, but what's even sadder is that a large proportion of the blame lies at our own feet. It seems that when it comes to motoring, we're our own worst enemy. When 45% of all accidents happen within 4km home isn't it time to wake up and THINK?

Horse 288 - What's The Story?

Listening to Radio 1 last night was rather strange. Jo Whiley was having a chat to someone in Kettering or something or other; giving away yet another DAB radio which the Beeb seems so intent on in doing these days when who should burst through the door then none other than Noel Gallagher. Mayhem ensued for about the next 4 minutes as security was called but it soon came to be clear that Noel not only had permission to be there but also had some news for the world.

The next album of nearly two years in the waiting will hit stores in the UK on May 16. As yet it's untitled and Noel jokingly said that that's just what they might end up calling the album... Untitled. The artwork for the cover looks "very bleak and northern" and the album features songs written by Noel, Liam, Gem and Andy Bell.

"There was an obvious first single but I was singing it," Noel explained. "After 12 years of Oasis, Liam thought that might sound a bit odd, people might think he'd left the band. He threw his cans out the pram."

Oasis long accused of ripping old Beatles materials (by reporters who have never got beyond the "All Around the World" film clip) now can take one step closer to their accusation as Oasis' line-up now includes on drums the son of Ringo, Zack Starkey.

The three opening singles are expected to be as follows: The Importance of Being Idle (Apr 3), Part Of The Queue (Apr 17), Guess God Thinks I'm Able (May 1). Of the 8 stadium shows in the UK this June & July, only the show in Ireland has any tickets remaining, the rest are sold out.

Horse 287 - Band Survey

From The Rubber Pants Man

The aim of the game is to pick a band and answer the questionaire using lyrics from the band's songs.

Band: Oasis

Are you male or female?
I wanna love you, I wanna be a better man
(Better Man - Heathen Chemistry)

Describe yourself:
In my mind my dreams are real, Now you're concerned about the way I feel
Tonight, I'm a rock 'n' roll star. Tonight, I'm a rock 'n' roll star.
(Rock 'n' Roll Star - Definitely Maybe)

How do some people feel about you?
You're trying hard to put me in my place and that is why I've got to keep running.
(I Hope, I Think, I Know - Be Here Now)

How do you feel about yourself?
There's nothing wrong in my world, these things they really don't matter now.
(Flashbax - B-Side to All Around the World)

Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest/spouse:
Maybe she'll come dancing with me, 'cause to me it doesn't matter if her hopes and dreams are shattered.
(The Girl in the Dirty Shirt - Be Here Now)

Where would you rather be?
Don't you know, I should have stayed in England, on my polluted beach with all my special friends.
Don't you know, I should have stayed in England, with me big house and me big car and all me friends there at the bar. La la la.
(Bonehead's Bank Holiday - (What's The Story) Morning Glory? - vinyl only)

Describe how you live:
There are many things, That I would like to know, And there are many places that I wish to go
But everything's depending on the way the wind may blow
(Acquiesce - B-Side to Some Might Say)

Share a few words of wisdom:
All of the stars are fading away, just try not to worry, you'll see them some day.
Take what you need and be on your way and stop crying your heart out.
(Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Heathen Chemistry)

What a delightfully silly game ^_^

Horse 286 - 12 Men of Virtue True

The Michael Jackson court case starts today, and while I don't want to get bogged down on this case in particular, it raises a few questions about whether anybody in the public eye can ever get a fair trial.

A big part of the process is selecting the jury. Out of a pool of several hundred people, twelve have to be selected who can demonstrate that they'll be impartial. There are questions over whether this is open to fraud, and even when the jury is finally chosen some are concerned that it could be 'nobbled'.
When the "12 men of virtue true" are selected, the defence can actually decide not to include people in that group for any reason they see fit. The defence will naturally pick those people they think will help their defendant's case. Isn't the Ratio Decendii suppposed to be published along with the rest of the trial. Admittedly if anything was added in the obiter dictum then that would be inadmissable as evidence, but a retrial can be called in a higher court surely?

However it seems that many people have already made their minds up. I've heard comments ranging from "oh there's no way he touched those kids" to "it's so obvious he's guilty". And these aren't just from celebrity obsessed nutcases, they're from friends of mine who I thought knew better than to judge someone on the strength of some media reports.

It's guaranteed that once the trial stars there will be unprecedented coverage in the tabloids and gossip magazines, both in the USA and beyond, I wonder what steps will be taken to ensure that none of this opinion reaches the courtroom. The trial is likely to be protracted, so will the jury be properly isolated from the brouhaha which is bound to ensue.

The Jackson case is exceptional because the allegations are so serious, and becuase he's one of the most famous people on the planet; but can anybody (in)famous ever get a truly fair trial?

And can I have a gold star for using the word 'brouhaha' in my post?

Horse 285 - Kill The Wee Thing

I am sitting here contemplating what I would like to post, and in doing so, I took a moment to examine how I was really feeling. This is a task which most of the time I try to avoid because of all the people in the world, I am more critical of myself than anyone else and also find me the most difficult person to trust.

I feel a heavy heart, a sad, and even fearful one. Why is that? I think that because the past has held so many mistakes and hurts, that the present and the future frighten me. I don't trust my own heart to protect me not that I did trust it in the past either. I knew that even if I was faithful and loyal; then even if I was betrayed, I would be able to go forward, holding onto the good that was brought out of it, recognizing the bad for what it was, and hopefully learning from the experience. But now?

No, I don't trust my heart's judgments. As time has past, and for many reasons, I have reflected and even been forced to re-examine my relationships, and to my despair, my own heart betrayed me. What I thought was, was not, and I sacrificed much to those delusions. I thought, not that long ago, that I would be able to recognize a betrayal approaching, but I did not. I have gone forward, thinking I conquered the hurt and disappointments, but too many times, this insane heart of mine comes back up to the surface vulnerable, feeling a love that was lost, causing me pain and anger. I quickly force it down, trying to take control again and quell anything and everything that maybe brought forth at all.

Shove it to the floor and step on it; there it must stay. A foolish heart's folly causes its own demise! What frightens me most, I think, is that I really, truly cannot trust my own judgement of heart. I am one who sees with my heart rather than, and at times, in spite of the good eyes and mind that I have been given. It is a deficit, I believe. I thought that many times it was an asset. Clearly, it is not... it is just not. So, I restrict myself to using only my eyes, my mind, and then, possibly at some point, my heart if required.

If only things were not so complicated in this world, in the people of this world, that one could trust others and trust themselves enough to meet in a place of honesty and vulnerablity, and experience a love everlasting...THAT would be my hope for all.

Edit: Must learn to stop typing things at stupid o'clock in the morning.

Horse 284 - Dead People & Medicare

I read with much mirth the following in today's Sydney Morning Herald (28/01/05) - "521,000 people in the financial year 2003/04 named on Medicare cards who were either dead or unborn" I agree with this in priciple but maybe not in execution. Health Care should be afforded to all Australians and especially the dead, I mean you can't physically get any more unwell than actually being dead now can you?

There is the problem of the undead which I suppose must include all zombies, ghosts, poltergheists and vampires. Though in the case of vampires there is a distinct argument against them being on Medicare, a blood transfusion to a vampire is like giving Coco Pops to a 9 year old or pizza, chips and PS2s to the people of Nimbin. The estates of dead people actually do pay the Medicare levy, so I guess that means legally they do have the rights to the services they've paid for, even if they are zombies.

On the subject of the unborn I could start all sorts of debate about abortions which would by reason put them into the same category as the unborn undead. Apart from those people who at some point in the future will actually be born, the rest should become Defence personnel. It makes sense that if the Federal Government is so intent on "pre-emptive strikes" on hostile powers then perhaps those attacks should be done with pre-emptive people.

Lastly I propose that the unborn, dead and the undead be given universal sufferage. The law specifically precludes minors from voting and technically the unborn, dead and the undead aren't minors. In any event haven't dead people already decided the fate of numerous elections... like in the case of our own Federal Government.

Horse 283 - You Can't Get it Rolling, You Can't Get it Goaling, You Can't Get it Feeding a Fire

Let's hear it for Australia Day. In one foul swoop Slammin' Sam Kekovic reminded us all exactly what it means to be Australian... to give the bird to the rest of the world. I did have lamb on Australia and a Foster's despite complaints from the people across the street who are vegetarians* (do they come from Vegetaria?), and yet somehow Australia as a nation seems very timid about holding onto and defining itself.

217 years ago Australia became the world's biggest gaol and with that came the world's biggest inferiority complex. From Imperial Britain to Imperial America though that's buisness in nature), Australia has always needed to copy and be someone else.

Our two biggest sporting icons are a cricket player who stuck it up England, and a Horse. I think our greatest leaders of all time were Billy Hughes who stuck it up the League of Nations and John Curtin who stuck it up both the UK and the USA in WW2. Yet somewhere after WW2 Australia again felt inferior but instead of hiding under the wing of the UK, hid squarely under the feathery bottom of the USA - oh dear. John W seems to want to be a handmaiden to George W at every whim and turn.

Actually on that subject of Foster's, I find it really almost insanely odd that it is marketed overseas as "Australia's Famous Beer" yet is impossible to find on tap in Australia. This whole national inferiority complex leads to the rather bizarre state that more of the stuff is consumed outside than inside the country. Carlton & United would rather foist crap like VB & Carlton Draught on Australian's than "Australia's Famous Beer" to the same people. In fact it goes so far that they had to remarket it as the upmarket Crown Lager rather than Foster's. It seems that Australians are snobbish enough not to buy Foster's but too stupid to realise that it's the exact same stuff as a Crownie in a different bottle. I kid thee not!

Furthermore I reckon that multi-culturalism is a load of pretentious crap. If Australia wants to stop being so wishy-washy we should start mono-culturalism - ie. that of Australianism whatever that happens to be. America has it albeit brash and harsh & the UK has it albeit whiny and whingy (so would you be if your empire as big as that had collapsed in a generation). No Australia needs a national identity and that should begin with what the country does best... give the bird to the rest of the world.

*If Vegetarians are so quick to point out that "Meat is Murder" then why don't they collectively speak out against war? Even blind Freddy can see that Murder is Murder.

Horse 282 - Eat Lamb On Australia Day

There's nothing worse than being Un-Australian; I should know, I've been Australian all my life and I'm sickened by the creeping tide of Un-Australianism eroding our great traditions. Like our custom of eating lamb on Australia Day.

Un-Australianism is everywhere, for example people wearing those plastic brightly coloured flip-flop shoes with flowers on them. What's wrong with rubber thongs in simple primary colours? If I hear another person say "thong" when they mean those swimming costumes puncy Brazillian bloke wear up their bums, I'll do my block.

Sadly the scourge of Un-Australianism has even infected our national day. A balanced Australia Day diet should consist of a few nice juicy lamb chops and beer, and perhaps a bit of pavlova for those with a sweet tooth, yet your long-haired, dole bludging types are indulging their pierced tastebuds in all manner of exotic, foreign and often vegetarian cuisine, chicken burger value meals, pizzas, a number 42 with rice. It's an absolute disgrace, and people ask why we need capital punishment.

Do you think the Diggers in the trenches were fighting for tofu sausages? No, They were thinking of grabbing a lamb chop off the barbie with their bare fingers, sustaining third-degree burns, then sticking their hands in a relieving Esky to fish out a cold one. Look at our national song, Waltzing Matilda. It’s about a bloke trying to get a nice bit of lamb into his tuckerbag, not spicy chicken wings!

The soap-avoiding, pot-smoking hippie vegetarians might disagree with me, but they can get stuffed. They know the way to the airport, and if they don’t, I’ll show them. So the message is clear even for you backpackers. Roll out the barbie, ensure the gas bottle's filled, stack the fridge full of lamb and prepare the invitation list.

So don't be Un-Australian, serve lamb on Australia Day. You know it makes sense. I'm Sam Kekovic.

All I have to say after this is - I want to thank you Slammin' Sam for giving us the road map to life.

Horse 281 - Good Ol' Anti-Semitic America

When Prince Harry dressed up like a Nazi, there were cries in the media that he was being Anti-Semitic. Am I allowed to accuse the USA of Anti-Semitism now that they've decided to attack Iran? Maybe not attack just yet, but that seems to be the implication of the latest list of trouble spots . Certainly Iran appears more of a priority than say Korea or Zimbabwe.

The USA is Anti-Semitic? Surely that's a stupid premise. I may have to unpack my viewpoint. To do this I wind the clock back to lots and lots BC.

The Semites as a racial group include ALL descendants of Shem. In order they are: Shem, Arphaxad, Shelah, Eber, Peleg, Reu, Serah, Nahor, Terah then Abram. Abram had 2 sons: Issac who was the father of Israel, and Ishmael who like Israel had 12 sons. You'll find this list in Genesis 25:12-18 and these folk comprise the beginnings of the Arabic world. The Arabs were always going to "bruise the heel" of Israel, and very little has changed.

In a modern context the Balfour Declaration of 1917 set aside the state called "Palestine" as a nation to be separate and distinct from the nations around it. Essentially this was the restoration of a subjugated territory from under the Ottoman Empire after that had broken up (the Ottoman Empire grew out of the Eastern Roman Empire which in turn grew out of the Roman Empire proper which had ruled the area BC and certainly at the time of Christ).
1948 saw the beginning of a Jewish nation state after the atrocities they suffered under the hands of Nazi Germany. The Arabic world immediately resented it and spent constant attempts (even today) trying to destroy the Jews and their nation.

America's constant defending of Israel as a nation (6 day war, Yom Kippur, Gulf War I, etc.) is most likely because of the powerful Jewish influence from business. Many Jews fled Germany from 1933 onwards, and their estute business practices (which was a cause of resentment in Germany) again flourished in corporate America; in fact I suggest that could be one reason why this current Pax Americana based on business actually exists. Jewish scientists developed "the bomb" and rocketry ironically in Nazi Germany.

Of course such a standpoint is going to create an incredible deal of resentment from the Arabic world. One fact that was almost but not entirely whitewashed over that the World Trade Centre was home to quite a number of Jewish interests, and yet there were none actually killed on that roll.

What was the USA's first action against this? Attack terrorism... fantastic ideal, that smacks if the ideal of fanatascism... hit back at the people that did this to the American Nation. Where shall they attack? Where else but the Arabic world. Afghanistan, Iraq and next on the list Iran.

The only flaw with this is the American & Saudi alliance. Perhaps this is not quite so much of a problem when you realise that the Bush's and the Saudi's have been getting along in business terms for quite some time now, even the Islamic clergy seem to hold Saudi Arabia at a distance because of their secularism.

My accusation now is that the USA is blatantly Anti-Semitic (specifically only one half) and it's little wonder considering that they bought into the longest running family feud in history. "The War on Terror" had very little to do with terror, a bit to do with oil, but I see this in the greater scheme of things as little more than the old argument of the Jews v Arabs. Interesting that neither Zimbabwe, North Korea, Ireland or Spain were ever considered by the US Government isn't it?

Horse 280 - Repeal the Second!

I think that BJD has drawn a different inference than I did from this article. Whilst I agree that the article was inexpertly written, I see that point that the writer is trying to establish. In 2003 Chicago took from Washington DC the dubious honour of being "the murder capital of the world". This means to say that Chicago has the greatest number of homicides recorded on the planet.
An interesting parlance needs to be brought to attention here before I continue the point. Murder is a civilian action; what we are witnessing in Iraq currently is mainly the result of a military prescence and as such the definition is blurred somewhat. Also of import is that civilian police in Iraq I'm sure are not able to produce accurate statistics on constitues a civilian case of murder per capita.

Having said that, the case of Chicago should be compared to a like civilian state not ravaged by the sounds of war. Chicago has roughly 9.1 million people or double that of the state of New South Wales, or roughly the same size as the city of London, however Chicago being in the USA has one major thing against it... its laws. The number of murders in a country by inference must go up in accordance with the propensity and the ability to carry them out. The USA has enshrined in law the "right to bear arms", see below.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. - 2nd Amendment

The NRA (National Rifleman's Association) is one of the largest lobby groups in US politics and may be a contributing factor as to why the law has never been repealed. 451 in Chicago must be compared to 247 in London or 158 in Sydney (assuming Sydney had 9 million people. Between Sep 2003 and Sep 2004 there were 79 cases of murder).
Now I don't know about you, but it seems that if you lived in Chicago, the chance of being murdered is roughly 2.8 times that of living in Sydney. If you then lay this across the entire of the US, for 250 million people approximately 12,500 people would be murdered every year; yet this is the best record in five years. This is something to be pleased about?

Now I'm not suggesting somthing simplistic like "if you remove the guns then you remove the problem"... actually yes I am. Of course the entire problem will not disappear overnight, but the Second Amendment by its very existance has created a culture whereby firearms are reasonably accessable. No longer does the country need to assert its independance, no longer do the wilds need to be tamed either.

The Second Amendment is an archaic, stupid piece of legislation; the sooner it gets removed the better.

Horse 279a - Jamming The Frequencies

Let's take a trip back in time to 1974. Colour TV is still at least 6 months away, cable TV is well... 20 years away at least. So then, let's tune into the radio shall we.

These are the available options:

2FC 575kHz - FC stands for Farmer & Co. 5 Dec 1923
The ABC's Radio 1, the national radio station. Although some popular music found it's way onto Radio 1, the ABC was still quite stuffy. In 1972, Radio and TV licences meant that the ABC no longer had its own budget but had to live in the pockets of the Federal Government. The ABC has suffered ever since.
Now 576kHz

2BL 700kHz - Broadcasters Limited. 13 Nov 1923
The local ABC station. It mainly played sport and talk, some broadcasts were relayed from Melbourne. In 1974 it was a definate backwater and only when the power of talkback was realised, did the station ever assume credibility.
Now 702kHz

2GB 870kHz - Giordino Bruno. 23 Aug 1926
GB refers to Giordino Bruno, an Italian philosopher highly regarded by the Theosophical Society not Grace Brothers as could be assumed. In 1974 it was mainly the same as now, occasionally running night-time music programs.
Now 873kHz

2UE 950kHz - Electric Utilities Supply. (Was changed from EU to UE) 26 Jan 1925
Featured some pop music and some talkback, Mr Laws was already on the air here. In the early Sixties it was Sydney's leading pop station, and long-serving breakfast DJ Garry O'Callaghan was for many years the most popular announcer in the city.
Now 954kHz

2KY 1010kHz - No idea what it stood for, possibly Sky?. 31 Oct 1925
Was owned by the NSW Labor Council and featured light music, racing broadcasts and talkback. The format has not changed to date.
Now 1017kHz

2UW 1110kHz - 13 Feb 1925
Became all-pop format in 1964, and dubbed its on-air team "The 11-10 Men". Its all-pop format lasted until 1984 when it found that a little regional station called 2WS had found a new niche, for a while it even had the nerve to call itself Magic 11. These two stations fought out the last fight for pop on AM before they both jumped the band.
Became 1107kHZ. Now FM see below.

2CH 1170kHz - CH seems to refer to Council of Churches. 15 Feb 1932
Was then and still is owned by the Australian Council of Churches. For some years it carried a number of foreign-language programs serving various ethnic communities, but in 1972 it cancelled all its "ethnic" programs and switched to a bland mix of so-called "easy listening" music, with some religious content.
Still 1170kHz

2SM 1270kHz - St Mary's or St Mark's. Is owned by the Catholic Broadcasting Co. 24 Dec 1931
Took the led from 2UW in the early '70s and ruled supreme as the leading pop station in the city from then until the advent of commercial FM radio in the early 80s. Changed it's name to Gold 1269, and now back to 2SM.
Now 1269kHZ

Quite boring isn't it? Especially when you have a look at the commencement dates; the last being 1932. In 1972 a Federal enquiry was launched into the broadcast industry. For 40 years, not a single broadcast licence had been issued in any of the state capitals of Australia. In all capitals there were 2 ABC stations and 6 commercial stations. Elsewhere around the world, FM was starting to break into stride, and in the US, more than 400 independant stations had started around the country on both AM and FM. Australia looked like a radio black hole.

So then, let's add to the confusion.

2JJ 1540kHZ - Double-J. 19 Jan 1975
The first new radio licence issued in 43 years. As stated in Horse 279, it caused a tizzie in the Industry.
Now FM see below.

2EA 1305kHz - Ethnic Australia. 17 Jun 1975
When SBS started it was natural that the quango be given a radio licence. Although the radio station's philosohhy has not Changed, the frequency did. Bought 2UW's transmitter sets which were better quality.
Now 1107kHz

2WS 1224kHz - Western Sydney. 23 Nov 1978
Originally a community station, it found itself unexpectedly a market leader when in 1984 it switched its programming to include "Juke Box Saturday Night" which was basically what 2SM would have played in 1968.
Now FM see below.

That list covers up until 1980 when the rules more or less changed forever. When the Federal Government opened up FM licences, the traditional radio stations more or less saw the medium as a joke (not even the great BBC had FM). Two licences in most cities were taken at the head by the Austereo Group, and JJJ slowly took up national FM broadcasting rights as did the ABC proper with its classical network.

102.5 - ABC Classic FM. 1980 - ABC
The ABC's station aligned closely to Radio 3. Plays as the name suggests, classical music and nowt much else.

103.2 - CBA Christian Broadcast Association. 1980 - Independant
An experimental licence was awarded in 1974. Mainly plays christian traditional & "pop" music, with elements of the old BBC 247 Light Programme.

104.1 - 2Day FM. 1980 - Austereo
Top 40 Music and pretty well not much else. The station in format is an exact copy of Radio 1, Z100 in NYC and 50 zillion other pop stations on the planet.

104.9 - Triple-M. 1980 - Austereo
Owned by the same group as 2Day FM. Supposedly put up as some sort of competition I suppose. It plays mainly Top 40 with a definate rock feel to it.

105.7 - JJJ. 1980 - ABC
Triple J was originally sent up the same weak tower as 2BL. On FM it meant that they were then on a purely line of sight basis until 1989 when it went up the main FM spike with TV. It survived the realignment of the ABC and retained its character entirely.

Things got a bit weird in the 1990's when the regional stations went metro then jumped to FM.

101.7 - WSFM - Australian Radio Network - 1990
Formerly 2WS 1224AM it became 2WS 101.7FM then changed its name. 2WS did have a stereo AM transmitter but that idea failed in Australia as far too few people bought the radio sets. The format also changed slightly as a lot of the records that it was playing were mono but that very fact caused it lose its base and it has had to carve out a new market.

106.5 - MIX - Australian Radio Network - 1991
Another tragic story of the FM jump. 2UW was in direct competition before it found itself stranded as the only real music station left on AM. It switched and was effectively swamped by the three biggest stations in the country. Has now changed mentality and is trying to brush itself off as female friendly.

96.1 - The Edge - Australian Radio Network - 1991
I don't even know where to being this story. In 1932 it won a regional licence for Katoomba and called itself 2KA transmitting on 780kHz. It moved to Penrith c.1984 but retained the purposes of the station. In 1991 it jumped the FM divide as all its stablemates were doing and then underwent the stupidity of name change. It became One-FM then 9inety-6ix. When the Australian Radio Network moved all it offices to Ryde, this like the other two followed suit.

New Licences were awarded in 2001, more community licences were sold and the Federal Government held out a tender for yet another licence, but as yet I only know of two stations that have occupied the air on this latest wave.

96.9 - Nova - DMG - 2001
Worldwide media giant DMG entered the radio world amid great fanfare and the policy of playing no more than two ads in a row. Not surprisingly this annoyed the Austereo and Australian Radio Networks who argued that the radio market had reached saturation point. Whether or not this is true remains to be seen.

94.5 - FBI - 2003
The station still has an underground cult status in Australian radio. Similar to Double-J in its early days, the station prides itself on trying to be different but ends up sounding like everyone else.

So then, that's the soundscape of the city as I see it. All of this will be swept aside as far as I can tell, when the great divide of AM/FM will be washed away by the raging torrent that will be the Digital Audio Band (DAB).

Horse 279 - Loud and Proud Across the Nation

"We don't like you either", is the slogan used by JJJ on and off since 1975 when the station basically gave commercial radio and the ABC itself a right kick in the pants 30 years ago today.

For this I'll use the Sydney Stations as that's what most of the readership know of, though equally the same outrage was felt throughout the country.

The reason why I mention this is more of an historical anomaly. In 1975 the ABC looked at the BBC and saw that Radio 1 after switching to popular music ruled the airwaves. Radio 1 had been built from the old 247 national station which before 1967 was the only nationwide BBC station in the UK. The ABC thought about this and saw that to compete against the big music stations of 2UW and 2SM it would need to launch its own station. But the ABC realised that to do so would be a mistake in the light that an untapped market was waiting.

On 19 Jan 1975, 2JJ burst forth with the Skyhooks' "You Just Like Me 'Cause I'm Good in Bed". The track had been banned from commercial radio due to the protests but programming this song as the first track on the first day of broadcast and on the Sabbath, no less caused an instant furore a fact which no doubt delighted the mischievous wowser-baiters at 2JJ. 2JJ at 1540kHz chimed in and stole 2SM's thunder which had promoted itself as "top of the dial", Mr Laws at 950 2UE attacked the station for it's crudeness and because of the initial media outrage it stole 5% of the market within 2 months.
The other thing which instantly annoyed the establishment was Gayle Austin, who by her prescence of air actually became the first female announcer on radio to have her own show anywhere in the world.

Of course in 1980 Double-J became Triple-J when Aunty was granted the first FM licence in the country. From here, the story of the ABC on radio is where it more or less aligned itself to the BBC's stations in character. FM 105.7 was chosen in Sydney, simply because on most radio sets it involved no movement of the tuning dial from it's old location.

Not too bad for "... perhaps the least loveable offspring spawned by the ABC."

Horse 278 - Harry The Nazi

What sort of person could possibly defend a scurrilously maniacal bigoted dictator? I'm not about to for a second, but what I find so utterly repugnant about this whole Harry the Nazi thing is the utter contempt that the newspapers and in particular the Sun* has for sanity.Over in London's west end, theatre goers have for the last 16 weeks been privvy to a musical written by a Jew called The Producers that paradoxically pokes fun at the Nazis. Perhaps in a bizarre sort of way, the media is again parading doublespeak.

I question the sort of person who goes to a function with the sole purpose of photographing royalty. Sure, Harry may be a pratt but the person who took the photograph has made a cool £50,000 and the newspaper trade itself continues to rake misery in order to sell newsprint. Obviously if they could they'd publish photographs of royalty in the shower if they thought they could get away with it. While we're at it, let's sneak into Princess Beatrice' room and grab some pictures of her naked and see if that makes it to page 3. If it's good enough for that hotel heiress then why not?
While we're at it, let's clamp down on every Japanese car displaying a sticker of the Hinomaru (the Japanese Imperial Naval Jack). 7½ million Chinese people were tortured at the hand of the Japanese versus 6 million Jews. Are we therefore to think that somehow Jews are more important?

I think people are being incredibly po-faced about this. As with any subject, there is humour that can be derived from Hitler and the Nazis. By that I don't mean humour that seeks to trivialise their actions, and neither am I suggesting that this stupid bit of behaviour by Prince Harry was at all amusing, except to him and his aristocratic friends. However, the number of people saying that this was absolutely disgusting because there's nothing funny about the Nazis, we're coming up to Holocaust Memorial Day and so on, I find rather depressing.
Does this mean that I shouldn't laugh at the 'Don't mention the war!' sketch from Fawlty Towers, which derives humour from aspects of Nazi Germany? Does it mean I shouldn't still find it funny that workers at Disneyland who hated their working conditions and low pay started referring to the place as 'Mouseschwitz', were then instructed not to by the management, and instead started calling it 'Duckau'? It is possible to refer to such things in a funny way without demeaning the things behind them. I think that people today are becoming increasingly overcome by what the satirist Armando Iannucci referred to on the BBC's Question Time programme as 'manufactured outrage' every time something like this happens.

The only reason, in my mind that, it retains such a focus in the daily press (TV/Radio & Print Media) is that for a news editor it gives them another reason to have a go at an already "easy target" i.e. the royal family or anyone in public life, and therefore they can command some fairly outrageous headlines and starp lines that grab Joe Public's imagination. Nowadays if someone in public life so much as farts, then they are being pilloried for it, come on guys get a grip on reality.
We all make mistakes and faux pas, there's no need to make such a big deal out of it. The Sun will always be far more offensive than a misguided student prank. When the sole priority of your newspaper is peddling bigotry & hatred, then you lose the right to the moral high ground.

Since this whole affair is a terrible mistake it's worthwhile to consider that in 1997, the press lost their biggest target when a black Mercedes crashed into a Parisian road tunnel whilst being pursued by the paparazzi. Has anyone actually ruled out the possibilty that it was actually tagged from behind by a media vehicle? Is that effort now being used to hunt down and attack her son?

*Also of note is the that the Sun like the Daily Telegraph is also a Murdoch run paper, as already razzed on by this column.

Horse 277 - Pocky Madness

You really have to love Japanese advertising sometimes. Pocky is one of those weird snacks that looks stupid but tastes yum. It's basically a long biscuity thing covered in chocolate, not unlike a Tim Tam or some such but due to the fact that it's in Japan, the marketing people with do anything to sell anything including setting up a fake pop group to promote it.

Pocky Girls are in principle the same as the Spice Girls with a different girl for every flavour. What I find odd is the hoardes of people you find in the adverts, and like this photo the equally strange expressions that people make.

Now I don't know what I've missed culturally here, but this guy just looks plain odd.

Captions Please

Horse 276 - Living in a Pizza Oven

Hello Australia.

Some 218 years ago, the English Government (before the Second Act of Union) decided that keeping prisoners on board ships was no longer an option. Not because they felt that this was inhumane but because the number of hulks that were around simply weren't enough. To combat this problem, prisoners were sent to Australia which in effect became the world's largest goal.

Now this sounds like it should be a post for Australia Day (in 11 days time) but the point that I wish to drag out here is that the consequences of making Australia a gaol are still being felt. 41 degrees C the mercury hit today, now had this been in the UK, modern authorities would have condemned this as being inhumane conditions in which to keep prisoners. What then happens when the country of free people are subjected to this?

Because of my English heritage, I hold the bizarre qualities of being able to understand cricket, be relatively chivalrous, and have a reasonable ability to empty containers of fermented vegetable products. To the downside of this, is that I have been genetically bred to live in constant rain and and the bottom of a peat bog if necessary. Australia on the other hand is a dry dusty sort of place and me being white skinned and all, tend not to get sunburnt but to suddenly burst into flames.

Now before this is seen as slating this country, bear in mind that I think that as a nation it has the ability to achieve great things. I just wish that we could somehow tow it about a thousand miles south so I wouldn't feel so damn hot and bothered.

Horse 275 - I like Henry

One of my all time greatest heroes isn't someone who saved the world but an industrialist, a businessman who didn't take crap from anyone, found himself in court more often than not but in his own way helped change the world quite siginificantly. The company's products still sport his famous signature, and it still remains one of the biggest 50 companies in the world. The man I refer to is none none that Henry Ford.

His first car (oddly enough was called the type A) left the doors of the factory in 1903. The motor company celebrated its centenary in fine style 2 years ago, but the most famous thing that the company is for is the process that started in the company's ninth year.
Economies of scale had been known about for at least 125 years. Adam Smith had written about the principle in his seminal book "Wealth of Nations", Smith observed that by utilising specialisation of labour, a factory producing something as simple as pins (only 2 components) could increase its production a thousand fold.
In 1914 Ford utilised this principle and Ford's motor cars began to move down a mechanised production line where each process would add just a little bit to the cars as they moved along. The idea was so good that the total time it took to produce a car went from 26½ hrs to just 93 minutes. That date? 91 years ago today. 14 Jan 1914.

Ford may be famous for his brash temper which produced such quick tempered remarks like: "You can have any colour, so long as it's black." or "History is bunk" but my favourite call of all was his address to the US Congress "You don't get anywhere sitting on your ass.".
During the depression he believed that people would only spend money if they were working and therefore had it. Despite heavy losses he was true to the workers that stayed on, and the Ford Motor Company went from number 3 to number 1 in just 4 years.Henry Ford believed that if you worked hard then you should get and deserve to get rewarded for it.
He remains in my mind one of very few businessmen who deserve their place in history, he respected his workforce and realised that it was them who ultimately made the company money, not him. It's always good to drive a Henry.

Horse 274 - Client Species

There are several kinds of clients that exist if you are an accountant.

1. Meticulous Record Keepers
These are the bozos who keep everything no matter how irrelevant of petty it is. These people will keep every receipt right down to the pack of Tic Tacs they bought at 12:37am on September the 17th.
These people mean well but unfortunately generally have the expectation that if they are that ordered then so should the accountants be. Accounts are to be generated and reports created by magic. They gave us literally everything they could think of, the answer has to be in there surely.

2. She'll be Right
In stark contrast are those people who save nothing. Every single bit of paper they posess gets turfed, or if they are hippies, recycled. The problem here is what do you do with no information? Sometimes they keep bank statements and things can sort of be worked out from there.
Their philosophy is that it's the accountant's job to do "the accountant's job" therefore at the point that their one piece of paper gets slipped under the door, they out like a shot leaving us to do yet more magic.

3. I've Just Found This
These people would keep immaculate records if they could remember not to leave everything behind the TV. They can do their own magic, and it's rather like producing rabbits from hats. Rabbits have this amazing habit of burgeoning populations from only 1, I'm utterly convinced that the people who keep records like this must magic them up sheet by sheet.
The whole downside to this is that although you may start work for them in July, in can in some cases be next May before the first draft accounts are ready.

4. But I Sent In the Form
This one was quite new to me. There are people who understand all about tax. They can fill in every form brilliantly but then it all seems to go horribly wrong. For although they can do every single calculation to a T, they neglect one very simple procedure... to actually pay tax.
The two sides to filling in a tax form are filling in correctly and then sending a cheque to go along with that form. Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's. The problem is that they get all these nasty bills and then complain that they did send the forms in. In order to pay tax, first you have to pay tax.

5. Do You Know a Good...?
I am not Sensis Pty Ltd. I know that I use a lawyer, banker, financial planner etc but I am not one, do not have a trading certificate in same and am not connected to one. The notion that the accountant is somehow connected to the world because he sees all sorts of documents is really a furphy.
I can not have a chat to the Judge, I can not represent you in court and I do not know which shares, property or bonds to buy.

People are thick.

Horse 273 - Sponsorship

Sponsorship is a question that raised it's head in the world of sport in the late 50's. Nowadays it's not uncommon to see adverts for blackcurrant drinks next to others for telcos next to each other at sporting fixtures, but the question that I ask of these is just how effective are they?

The classic example of this and also the most contraversial was that of the tobacco companies. Anyone who saw a cricket match from late 1977 to about 1992 saw Benson & Hedges from domestic to international levels around the world. Likewise, Marlboro was willing to throw money at motor racing teams like McLaren and the Holden Dealer Team for many years. Those distinctive day-glo red and white cars were seen on TV sets and often at the front of the pack (pun intended). Ferrari still carry Marlboro sponsorship but few will say that it has as much impact as say Senna & Prost.

In the increasingly competitive world of telecommunications we've seen O2, Orange, Vodaphone, Telstra, Virgin and 3 spend exorbitant funds on sponsorship - like the 3 Test Series which actually had 2 tests, followed by another 3 Mobile 3 Test Series. Vodaphone's logo was splashed on Man Utd, The Wallabies, The English Cricket Team and Ferrari F1 all in 2004. But what did they actually get?

Arsenal were carrying the logo for the Sega Dreamcast some 14 months after the console had ceased selling. Ansett's sponsorship of test cricket led to their bankruptcy, and Benetton were made more famous by the F1 team that carried their name after they sold it.

In all of this the most successful sponsorship case is Ferrari. Ferrari you may ask? The name synonamous with grand prix racing. Contrary to popular belief the racing isn't sponsored by the factory. Ferrari do not go motor racing in order to sell road cars, in fact the opposite is true. The whole reason why Scuderia Ferrari SPa exists is purely to go motor racing; they only started building road cars to fund that end. Thus the road car division is simply that - a method of deriving funds in order to keep on racing and if Ferrari keeps on winning on track, then by virtue of that fact they should keep on selling cars to continue racing. - Very Successful that is indeed.

Meanwhile should anyone require me to put Samsung on my tie, tatoo Don's Smallgoods on my arm and change my name to Optus - come up with enough money and it's yours. Except that this bozo already though of it and is up to £171 for his effort.

Damn.

Horse 272 - Let's All Laugh at Man Utd

Conference Side Exeter City yes, Conference Side Exeter City held the great Manchester Utd to a scoreless draw in the 3rd round of the FA Cup yesterday. Plucky Exeter held the 11 times winner of the trophy by playing simple football, for which millions of £££s not not match.

Not even the second half introduction of Paul Scholes, Cristiano Ronaldo and Alan Smith could salvage United's pride on a thoroughly miserable afternoon for them which brought back memories of their similarly painful draw against Walthamstow Avenue on the same ground 51 years ago.

If there was one obvious conclusion to be gleaned from the opening 45 minutes, it was that Ferguson's back-up side is not capable of sustaining any kind of Premiership title drive. The other obvious conclusion is that Fergie badly underestimated his opponents and as such is going senile - step down Fergie.

After 94 minutes and the blast of the final whistle, the roar from the visitors' end rumbled all the way down the M5, which is exactly where United will be heading in 10 days' time.

Advice:
Exeter - "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight"
Man Utd - Follow Best's lead - take up darts and topiary.

Horse 271 - The Ice Age

The Great Ice Age, a recent chapter in the Earth's history, was a period of recurring widespread glaciations. Mountain glaciers formed on all continents, the icecaps of Antarctica and Greenland were more extensive and thicker than today, and vast glaciers, in places as much as several thousand feet thick, spread across North America and Eurasia.

The Ice Age is different to the Dark Ages and the Middle Ages in that it was a lot colder. The Industrial Age probably warmed things up a bit with all the coal that was being burned and the Space Age is characterised by vast expanses.

But looking through KGB files only just released to the west, we can now safely say that the last Ice Age ended in 1934 after Joseph Stalin declared war on everything (nature, people, himself) and since that date and the invention of the refridgerator, the only practical uses for ice are now in drinks and for keeping donor organs cold.

Horse 270 - Arthur King and your silly kn...iggets

The beginning of every year always fills me with the same sorts of questions; namely what what my maker have for me to do in the next 12 months. Usually to some degree the conditions of the previous year will always be carried forward but like all of us at any stage in our lives the future is yet unwritten. Note shameless link here

Today I walked on down to a Toonie DVD rental place and hired King Arthur. Now the films greatest themes aren't about him conquering stuff or finding Excalibur or even any of those type things but the "bigger questions" of where is my home? & where do I belong?

Now I ask the same question. The answer in broad principles is that the world is a finite space and it isn't so much where I belong but to whom. The answer in broad terms is that we've been built for God's pleasure and purposes and not our own. I am small and the world is big; He is bigger.

The North Star will always be there to guide you. That doesn't mean you follow it. It always points north, you must know for yourself what direction to travel. The best place to travel is home, the journey out may be fun, but the way home is always better. That sounds glib, what a stupid paragraph.

Horse 269 - Red Ska 3

...And then it just got a bit weird. It isn't a good idea to be giving me any more than about two days holiday, for then I start to get restless.

1. My Ka now sports Red seat covers, and a Red 3 ball for a gearknob.
2.Was up on the roof and resealed about 3 dozen tiles. Got up there with a tube of epoxy and glued the little dudes back together.
3. Looked under the house and was going to run some Cat 5 but got freaked out by 6 redbacks so like a wuss I scurried back inside.
4. Thought it pert to investigate my quatravox stereo. It had finally died and so I installed my Marantz amp. Now the Kriessler and Bang & Olafson speakers can once again ring out their powerful voices. The downside is that I went from 60's turn dial to 80's LED display.
5. Went comic book hunting. Found Chrono Crusade book 2, and Mahoromatic 3 & 4.
6. Had a look at The Old Fashioned Football Shirt Company as I'm still interested in a 1977 European Cup Winners strip.
7. Checked the wheel aligment in the Ka.
8. Cured an oil leak in the Merc
9. Threw some Rat-Sac in the roof
10. Mopped up after the cat made a nasty on the kitchen floor (not like Captain Cook).
11. Sat here and told y'all.

... and it's only 5 past 3 in the arvo. Worried worried worried, what to do next? Augh!

Horse 268 - The Electric Mayhem

Long before The Darkness started parodying glam rock, way before Chad Smith ripped his shirt in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, long before Britney Spears started baring her midriff and in fact before of any of these were even born, the Electric Mayhem were doing all of this even before colour TV.

Whether Sgt Floyd Pepper was named after Pink Floyd or the Beatles 7th album is a matter of conjecture, whether Zoot has only one pair of pants is also unknown and how Janice ever managed to keep her eyelashes in decent condition is unknown, but one thing is certain - Dr Teeth has to be about the coolest musician that ever lived.

Absotively and possolutely!

rollo75 is on holiday until January 10 and is generally wasting time ^_^

Horse 267 - BLVD of Broken Dreams?

"The task we all have to face is the same; that is, to live a fulfilled life in spite of many unfulfilled desires" - Walter Trobisch

When I think back over my life, I'm dismayed at the amount of time I have spent worrying about needs, wants, money, time, relationships or the lack thereof. I wish I had spent more time dwelling on the present and less time worrying about the future. It is not healthy to build our lives around events that are uncertain. Instead, individuals, especially Christians, must learn both to prepare for the future and to live fully in the present. I am realizing that I can't always change my circumstances, but I can choose my attitude towards these circumstances, as well as how I live my life in and around them.

There are things in life that are far more important than what I happen to be hoping for today. It's difficult, but I recognize that I need to hand my life over to God all my dreams, hopes and desires. I am called to live my life fully for Christ, regardless of my what that life happens to throw my way. I want to be able to say with Paul, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have...in any and all circumstances...I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13). To serve God whatever the circumstances, that is God's will for me.

2004 has largely been a year of marking time for me. Admittedly virtually every rule surrounding what I am and was supposed to do between 6am Monday and 7pm Friday were completely thrown adrift, and within my own mind and heart the quietness that came from nowhere alerted me to what I'd been hoping for and wanting for such a long time. In the sermons from the pupilt, the messages resonanted within me, but surruptitiously I'd been carelessly insulted either deliberately or by accident by members of the congregation on about half a dozen occasions.

So for 2005 I still am not sure where I am let alone where I am meant to be, but it's OK to want a change of circumstances, it's OK to work for those changes but above all to remember that I've been called to be content in all of them. It's wise to plan for the future; it's not a bad thing to want something, but unless they fall under the control of the one who already owns them then if unmet, it could be easy to become jaded.

I'm not sorry for this post, this is my space - so there. Nyah nyah nyah ^_^

rollo75 is on holidays until the 9th of January and will be either very bored, alone or sleeping and would enjoy it if you could cure any of these predicaments

Horse 266 - Football IS Football

Soccer finally becomes football
Date: January 1 2005
As of today, the game of soccer in this country will officially be known as football. The national body will assume its new title, Football Federation Australia, and all other organised bodies are expected to follow suit.

The FFA says: "While we are not pretending that all Australians will take to calling the game football immediately, we feel that it is important to make this symbolic change, and to bring the world game in Australia into line with rest of the football world."

Here at the Herald, we agree and have decided to embrace it - from the start. From now on, the game will be called football in these pages, as it is throughout the world. The word football will still be used as a generic term for rugby league, rugby union and Australian football.
- Sydney Morning Herald

Is this the definative answer? How much more do you need? A quick look at the history of the game should put people in their place.

All throughout history, many ball games have emerged as well as perished independently to one another, often leaving us with nothing but speculations. Considering that many of these games were impulsive and had few or no regulations, it is likely that they also were quite violent. The roughness of these early games surely must have demanded involvement of the legs, for kicking.
We have to emphasize the difference between such scuffles and today's "beautiful game". The feet are not only used for kicking but also for controlling and moving the ball (dribbling.) Using body parts other than the feet, like the head or chest, is another factor suggesting the development expert technical skills.

During the Middle Ages Europe was the stage for violent town games known universally as Mob Football. It is very surprising to notice the progress of ball games in this historical period and consider their violent upturn. In contrast to the ball games of Ancient times, authorities often prohibited and opposed their practice.

The Football Association was founded in 1861, the oldest of the clubs being Sheffield Wednesday in 1861. The FA Cup as an open competition was founded in 1871. The Rugby game broke away in 1871 with the Rugby Football Union and the Rugby League broke apart from that in 1908 in Australia. The theory that William Webb Ellis "with fine disregard for the rules of football as played in his time, first took the ball in his arms and ran with it, thus originating the distinctive feature of the Rugby game" in 1823, is in fact a load of old codswallop and can not be substantiated as there has never been a William Ellis that has ever attended the Rugby school.

Football should remain football and now that the SMH have relented it is my personal crusade to enforce this rule. FOOTBALL IS FOOTBALL.